February 12th.

  "You're getting more icing on the bench than the cake."

  "Trust the process! Can't you see my creative vision?"

  "Does your 'creative vision' involve bacteria?"

  "It adds to the flavour, thank you."

  "The flavour you can't taste?"

  I gave Victoria a light shove for the jab. Before I could retort, she stole the spatula from my hand and scraped off the blue swirls of icing I'd planted on the top of the cake.

  "Hey! I worked hard on those!" I pouted.

  "Mmhm." She smirked.

  One by one, Tori replaced my wonky attempts with perfectly precise copies.

  I rolled my eyes.

  "Okay, do you want my help or not?"

  "No, no, I definitely want your help." She nodded sarcastically. "Just make sure you only touch the back of the cake where no one will see your shitty work-"

  I swiped icing on her nose for that. She tried to giggle but had to quickly turn around to sneeze away from the cake. I laughed shamelessly at her, then even harder at the grumpy look she shot my way.

  "No. No, not the spatula!" I cried as she raised her weapon and chased me around the counter. "My one weakness!"

  Tori crossed her arms and retreated back to the cake to stand guard.

  "You ruined the last one, you're not wrecking this one, too!"

  "Ruined?" I scoffed dramatically. "You're the one who told me to handle the cooking side! It's not my fault I don't know how salty a cake is supposed to be."

  "Don't pretend you've never had cake! Surely you can't forget the taste in just a few years."

  "Well whose fault is it for entrusting a vampire to bake?"

  "You got a 96% on your Food Tech exam last year."

  "... yes, but the teacher never taste-tested anything I made."

  Victoria rolled her eyes and put the spatula down. She passed me the bag of m&m's with a warning of a smirk.

  "If you mess this up, too, I'm holding you completely accountable."

  I snatched the bag and stuck my tongue out at her.

  While I put every ounce of concentration I could manage into meticulously placing each m&m on the frosting of the cake, I could feel Victoria hovering over my shoulder. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to let her distract me. She placed a hand on my back and I nearly flinched. But it was nice. Tender, in a way.

  "So, eighteen," I made smalltalk, "Pretty serious number. You're getting old, huh?"

  "You tell me." She snickered. "Is it really as magical as every chick-flick has convinced me?"

  "Eh, it's pretty much the same as 17, just with an obligation to vote and the opportunity to mess up your life at a club if you want." I shrugged. "I dunno, I'm sure it's a lot better if you can get drunk."

  "Wow, sounds great." She chuckled. "Maybe I should do some shots, just to piss you off."

  "You'd have to take twice as much if you're drinking for me."

  "I'd be honoured."

  Right as I'd almost finished with the m&m's, Victoria reached over my shoulder to correct the placement of one. Her hand jolted, and she accidentally left an entire handprint in the frosting. We both stared in silence at the damage before breaking into laughter. I grabbed a tissue and helped clean her now pink hand. Her face scrunched in regret.

  "Maybe for my next birthday you should buy me a straight-jacket or something." She smirked.

  "I'd rather buy you a pre-made cake." I smiled back. "You can make the cake for my birthday, though. I won't intervene."

  "I make you a cake every year and you can't even eat them."

  "Yeah, well, I still expect a Victoria-made cake for every single year."

  "God, every birthday? Even when I'm 90?"

  "I'll stalk your retirement village if you don't."

  "Mm, what about your 200th birthday?" She nudged me. "Still expect a cake then?"

  My smile faded. I didn't really want to think about that today.

  "... Uh, yeah. I guess I could... whip out a spirit board and harass you-"

  "Or I could wake you up with a cake, breakfast-in-bed style?" She smiled not so innocently.

  "When I'm 200?" I frowned, not following.

  "Mm~" She swayed on her heel. "If you maybe get me a special gift next year?"

  "You're being vague." I raised a brow, a chuckle escaping my lips. "Just tell me what you want."

  "What I want is to spend every birthday with you." She wrapped her arms around my neck with a smile so sweet I felt like I could melt. "And I'll bake something for you every time."

  -

  For once in my life, I was grateful to have blacked out one more time after finding myself in that alley. Didn't manage to remember a thing between that moment and being in the car on the way home.

  I snapped my head around to gain my bearings before finally letting myself relax - the little I could. I was in the backseat, London was across from me, and Hunter was driving. I felt somewhat surprised that him of all people had been the one to help London find me. He usually only wanted anything to do with my vampirism if it was anger related, since he's always been an anchor for me in moments like that. He rarely got involved in blackout situations. Despite his tough demeanour, Hunter just couldn't handle seeing my victims.

  I shakily exhaled and rested my head against the car window, peering out at the lightening sky between houses.

  "You back yet?" London asked gently, putting her phone away.

  I nodded, exhaustion creeping up on me.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  "I, uh, couldn't find your phone, but I did find your bag." She offered apologetically. "You left it at a Starbucks."

  "I went to Starbucks?" I raised a brow. "I can't even drink coffee."

  "You went everywhere." She sighed, the humour gone from her voice completely.

  "It's fine. I'll buy a new one." I murmured, wincing as I noticed my hoodie was gone, but blood still stained my hands. "Thanks for finding my bag, at least."

  "Buy a new one." Hunter repeated under his breath. "You still get those payments?"

  "Somehow." I shrugged. "It's the only way I can pay for the house and shit."

  "I was wondering about that," said London, "I'd have thought that would've worn off by now."

  "Wait, where did you think I was getting money, then?" I furrowed my brow at her.

  "I kinda didn't want to ask." She shrugged. "Knew you weren't working, obviously. I thought maybe medicare, but you're legally missing, so I ruled that out."

  "So the effects seriously are permanent?" Hunter spoke. "Damn. You should've set that shit up for the rest of us, too, man."

  "I didn't have the time." I offered a slight apologetic smile.

  "If I ever find a time machine, I'm gonna find freshly dead Zach and tell him how to take over the world while he still can." Hunter smirked slightly. "If we'd known about the mind compulsion earlier, we could've been billionaires on the spot."

  I couldn't find the strength to chuckle, but I'd have liked to. It was almost painfully obvious that Hunter was trying to make smalltalk to take my mind off of what happened tonight, but I didn't mind. It was a nice distraction.

  "I still wish I did more with it before I lost the ability. I didn't even know it existed until the last day." I brushed my hair out of my eyes. "I mean, looking back on it, I guess it makes sense. It's like a boost or a head start so vampires don't just immediately die in a ditch."

  "I can't believe you had it at all." London rolled her eyes. "It's the least scientifically possible thing you've done."

  "Uh, y'know hypnosis can be perfectly scientific, right?" Hunter huffed. "Hypnotherapy's pretty common for addicts and veterans. Not to mention military tactics and sleeper agents."

  "I... don't know if sleeper agents are a real thing." I cringed.

  "That's what the government wants you think about vampires, too, right?" Hunter stated matter-of-factly.

  I groaned into my hands, only to immediately pull them away from me with a cough; that familiar metallic scent still lingering from them and invading my nose.

  "Maybe we could... like... purposely turn someone and get them to use their mind compulsion to the fullest before it fades after the first week." Hunter murmured.

  London and I both shot him a look of disbelief.

  He met our gaze through the rear-view mirror.

  "... I was joking." He muttered.

  "Were you?" I glared firmly. "I didn't laugh."

  "Okay, my bad. Yeah, that was.. a bit insensitive." He frowned. "Just thinking aloud."

  "Uh, maybe it's a bad time to ask, but did Tori ever use hers?" London asked as she turned to me again.

  I narrowed my eyes, not liking the conversation anymore.

  "She couldn't speak, so no, she never used compulsion. I don't even know if she ever had it," I looked back out the window, "Victoria's stuck halfway turned; she only has half of the abilities she should."

  "Right." London slumped in her seat.

  "Hey, y'know, maybe her thing of only being lucid every now and then is like your blackouts?" Hunter offered. "Like, maybe when she's not there, it's not that she's somewhere else, she just can't remember-"

  "It's not the same." I shot him down a bit too harshly. "She's said it herself. She goes somewhere."

  "What, like, heaven or something?" London quirked a brow.

  "No, like... I-I don't know." I sighed, rubbing the exhaustion from my eyes. "But she knows."

  "We could try asking her when we get back?" Hunter said.

  "Can we not talk about her right now?" My voice broke. "I just want to go home and shower."

  London nodded, thinking up a good distraction.

  "So how much exactly are you getting from those payments?"

  -

  I hadn't watched the sun rise in person since February. Couldn't afford to feel the warmth of the light without the UV scorching me up.

  It felt like a good excuse to not go inside yet. It seemed believable enough, at least.

  London took my bag inside, meeting Carly halfway, who had barely woken up. The two quietly chatted as they went in. I watched Hunter hang up his call to fill Malachi in before he headed over my way. He sat on the grass beside me with a sigh. I hugged my knees to my chest.

  "Do I want to know how you got me out of that mess?" I broke the silence.

  "Up to you." He shrugged. "I didn't do much, really. London did the dirty work, I did the heavy lifting."

  "Uh-" My eyes widened at him. "Did you get rid of the-"

  "Of course not." He put a hand on my shoulder. "I know your wishes. I know you want them found to give their loved ones closure."

  I sighed in relief and nodded.

  "Sorry, I'm not used to this anymore."

  "Don't apologise for your empathy, Zach, it's what separates you from the monster who did this to you."

  I felt myself tense at his words. Sometimes I did forget that I didn't just wake up like this. With the memories blocked out, it's easier to pretend it just happened, and it's easy to joke about my death. Sometimes I'd forget that even though I'd suppressed it, there were people who still remembered every detail of the sight they found my body in.

  "So you followed the old routine?" I cleared my head of my spiralling thoughts. "Wash out the venom, clean off the DNA-"

  "Make it look like a random act of violence? Yeah. I know the drill." Hunter nodded, looking out to the sunrise. "You make it hard when they're in the middle of the city, though."

  "Sorry." I glanced down to my arms, illuminated by the honey glow of the morning rays. "I didn't exactly plan it out."

  He gave me a firm pat on the back and got up to his feet.

  "Come on. You need a shower, and you need to brush your teeth."

  I sighed and followed his lead, into the house.

  I let myself wander the house for a while, lost in thought.

  My gaze fell on the many curtains that blocked out all light from every window. I frowned as I approached one in the hallway to my room. Even though I was back on human blood and the sunlight wasn't an issue for me anymore, I couldn't open the curtains, thanks to Tori. I was still avoiding the idea of getting her to try human blood, despite it being over two months since she turned. I didn't want to risk her falling into the habits I had - the addiction I'm still shackled from.

  "Was it worth it?"

  I snapped my head around to her, my breath catching.

  She stood in the doorway to our bedroom with her arms around herself for some sort of comfort, her scarred face distorted with guilt and disappointment.

  I shuddered.

  "Go back to sleep-"

  "Did you prove your point?" She shot back.

  I clenched my fists.

  "Victoria, now is really not the time to-"

  "You told me to keep my ass here." She raised a brow. "I'm here."

  "And now I'm asking for you to move out of the way so I can have a shower."

  "I kinda don't want to. But you don't like it when I do whatever I want, right?"

  "Did you seriously come back to argue with me at six in the morning?"

  "I came back for a good reason, but I have to put that on hold, clearly."

  "I miss when you didn't speak."

  "And I miss being alive, Zach, but we can't all get what we want."

  I rolled my eyes, picked her up under her arms, and tossed her gently onto the bed and out of the way. She scoffed harshly, getting up and following me to the bathroom.

  "Watch your stitches." I muttered.

  As if on cue, she nearly tripped, as a stitch on her leg caught on a loose nail in the doorframe. She hissed in pain and carefully pried herself free.

  "Do you forget that you're a corpse?" I murmured under my breath as I began to brush my teeth.

  "I... ugh. Sometimes."

  "Hm."

  The sink turned red every time I spat out. This was the 14th toothbrush I'd bought this year, and it was only April. But that's what happens when you have razor blades for canines - bristles break.

  Victoria stayed in the doorway, watching my reflection. The mask of anger slowly dissipated from her expression, and a mix of sympathy and guilt took its place.

  "Are you gonna be alright?" Her voice grew soft.

  I let my fangs unsheathe to clean the blood off of them properly, then spat into the sink again. I paused, refusing to meet her gaze through the mirror.

  "Am I ever alright?"

  She frowned at that.

  "Y'know, I couldn't even consider feeding on someone after I killed you. I wanted to vomit at the thought of biting someone." I muttered. "Tonight, when I saw what I'd done, I just sat there. I sat there, and I took in every single injury, every slash, every bite - every wound I'd left on that poor guy. I couldn't hear his heart beating, I knew he was gone, and you know what?"

  I turned to face her.

  "For a second - just a second, I thought, 'maybe I can bring him back'. I started considering my options, trying to figure out how I could turn him without London stopping me."

  "Did you?" Her eyes widened.

  I shook my head.

  "But the only thing that stopped me was the memory of you. How you screamed. How you decayed. How you looked into my eyes like death would have been a mercy."

  Tori looked away at the thought.

  "I don't know what's more dangerous," I whispered, "That I used to justify murder by thinking 'it's nature, it's just survival', or the fact that I now keep thinking 'it's fine, because I can just bring them back'. But I can't, can I? Because I couldn't even bring you back right."

  "I don't want to think either of those thoughts ever again." I furrowed my brow. "All I want right now is to sit on the shower floor and wash the blood off my hands."

  Victoria nodded and wiped her teary eyes.

  "I'll go." She whispered, her voice shaky. "I don't want to make you feel worse."

  I sighed in gratitude.

  "... Can I ask," I softened my tone, "Um... you said you came back this time for... good reason?"

  Tori took a deep breath and brushed her pale hair out of her eyes. "You can't figure it out on your own?"

  I offered an apologetic smile.

  She rolled her eyes and tapped the screen of the smartwatch on my arm. I frowned in confusion.

  "April 30th." She murmured, heading back to the bedroom. "I'm sorry I didn't get you a cake this time."

  I watched her go, my eyes narrowed, completely lost.

  "Why would you..?"

  Tori took something out from a shelf in the closet. I felt my heart stop as she brought it over and placed it in my hands.

  I cautiously brushed the dust off of the cover of the journal I hadn't dared read in months. Blood still stained some of the pages. Slits and slices lined the back and spine. I met Victoria's eyes, my own blown wide.

  She looked down in guilt.

  "Happy birthday, Zach."