I watched Margaret drink for a bit and she started talking to me about Eli and his development. She told all his little mannerisms and behaviors, and the words he said the most. She also told me a story about him learning to fly, which is apparently a thing for demon babies with wings, like imps and fiends.

  He flew into the ceiling fan the first time and it was not great. It cut his head and she had to take him to a doctor. He ended up getting stitches, but it was under his hairline, so it wouldn't affect him socially, thankfully.

  She explained that she did some research into how he ended up with wings. Apparently, succubi and incubi are an evolutionary branch off from sex fiends, which are apparently a thing. And all fiends, even sex fiends, have wings.

  So, apparently, given that he's only half demon, it unlocked something in his DNA to have wings. I wondered if there would be any other surprises. I wondered if he'd get the sex charm powers of an incubi.

  That would be a hassle to parent. Imagine having to distinguish the morality of feeding on energy through sex, and then having to explain it to your child. Succubi and incubi had to feed, or they would grow weak. Before I came along, Margaret refused to feed.

  She was very weak by demon standards. Demons were often stronger than humans, but without feeding she had half the strength of a normal human. It didn't affect the shape of her body or muscles. Just her ability to use her muscles to their full potential.

  Basically, she was low on energy all the time. Think about how much harder it is to do any physical when you're tired, and that's what she experienced all the time.

  When I came along and eventually after many many dates, we made love, she felt amazing. She wasn't constantly fatigued anymore and she didn't need other people's help to complete physical tasks.

  If I had to navigate the ethics of that and explain it to our child, I might lose my mind. This would be the birds and the bees on steroids. I eventually pulled my mind back to the party and Margaret.

  Having spoken of Margaret's sex charm abilities, she had to bat a ton of guys away from her that were being passively charmed by her. It was something she could turn on and off, but when she was "excited," the power exuded from her in a radius.

  Apparently I was looking particularly good that day or something. Or it was the booze. Actually, on second thought, it was probably the booze. It was so bad, I had to mean mug and pull the Devil card on a few guys who wouldn't take no for an answer.

  As Margaret was animatedly chatting what she had done that day, I heard a familiar voice say, "Get me a drink, and make it strong."

  I turned to my right and there was Sarah, wearing the clothes I had given her. Oh shit. I forgot to get Sarah for the party. That was probably for the best. Margaret wouldn't have taken it well, if I took my ex to the party and not her.

  I had set her up in a hotel while I was waiting to get clearance on building a new house on the block I lived on. There were the beds in the basement of the control room building, but I figured I'd be nice and let her stay in a hotel.

  Gilbert could sleep in the basement, but I felt I needed to treat Sarah nicer since her mother had been murdered and she had been stripped naked by a guy who was planning to murder her.

  "Hey, Sarah!" I said. I could've said more, but I didn't want to get in trouble.

  "Hey, Dave," Sarah said in a doldrum voice. She turned to look at me. She looked tired and disgruntled.

  "I have a follow up question, but first I need to introduce you to my girlfriend Margaret," I said, gesturing to Margaret. "Margaret, officially meet Sarah."

  "Hello, Sarah," Margaret said, pulling her into a hug.

  "This is happening," Sarah said, hugging Margaret back.

  When they broke the hug, they both said, "It's nice to meet you."

  They realized they said the same thing, and both said, "Sorry, I'll stop."

  "No, I'll stop."

  "No, I'll stop!"

  "Would you both please stop?" I said, putting my hand over my face.

  They went quiet and stared at me.

  "What?"

  "You didn't pick me up for the party. I had to take a bus here," Sarah said.

  "You were going to take her to the party and not me?" Margaret asked. "And you made her take a bus?"

  "Wait, which thing are you mad about? You can't be both," I said.

  "Oh yes I can!" she said.

  "Ok. I'm sorry for being forgetful and a sexist dumbass," I said.

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  "That's better," Margaret said. She ruffled my hair and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I am going to destroy you later."

  "You're sending mixed messages," I said. Margaret frowned at me. "And I'm here for it!"

  "Good," she said to me. She turned to Sarah. "So I have to apologize for Dave being late to rescue you. I was in a life threatening pregnancy situation and I made him take me to the hospital."

  Sarah smiled a sad smile. "I understand. I'm not mad at you, or him even. I'm just mad at Cain now. I wish I could kill him all over again."

  "If it makes you feel better, he's in Purgatory and he's not getting out anytime soon," I said.

  "That does actually help. Thanks, Dave," Sarah said.

  "So you were ordering a strong drink?" I said. I turned to Tony, who was just standing there staring at the three of us silently.

  "Oh, right. I'll get that drink!" Tony said. He grabbed some bottles and started making something. When he finished, he said, "Long Island Iced Tea. Here you go."

  "Oh, thanks! I haven't had one of these in ages!" Sarah said. She took a sip and made a face. "Exactly how I remember it. Very good."

  I put my arms around Margaret and Sarah. I like to live dangerously. "Now that all of us except me has a drink either inside them or in their hand, let's go explore the party."

  Margaret whispered in my ear again. "You're mine. Remember that."

  A chill ran down my spine and into a place I'm not going to explicitly describe.

  "Your jealousy is actually kind of attractive," I said.

  "Really?" She was taken aback.

  "Yes. I still love chill calm Margaret, but this is fairly new and exciting," I said.

  "Ok," she said, hugging my arm. "Let's go see what we can see."

  "Yes, let's," Sarah said.

  We entered the mass of people and walked around. It was fascinating watching people drink and interact with each other while I was sober. Some people taking shots, some people were playing drinking games, and others were sleeping on the floor.

  It was then that I remembered my responsibility. I had to find Purgy and Nigel. Surprisingly, I spotted them standing near each other. Well, Nigel was talking with people and Purgy was split and still playing chess with herself.

  "Watch this," I said to Margaret and Sarah. I went up to Purgy as represented by two people. "Get back together, you two. I need to introduce you to Nigel."

  "He's here?" they both said.

  "Yes, now do whatever you do," I said, waving my hands at them.

  Sin and Virtue got up from the table and walked into each other, melding into one person, Purgy. I grabbed Purgy by the arm and pulled her with me up to Nigel.

  "Nigel!" I yelled.

  He was talking with people. He jumped and looked at me.

  "What did you have to yell for?" he asked.

  "No reason," I said. "This is the friend I wanted you to meet. Her name is Purgy, and she runs Purgatory." I gestured to Purgy.

  "Purgy, this is Nigel." I gestured to Nigel. "Now, kiss."

  "Not yet! I don't even know her," Nigel said.

  "Should we do that?" Purgy asked.

  "See, now you have something to talk about. How weird I am," I said.

  I went back to Margaret and Sarah.

  "Let's let that marinate for a bit," I said. "I'm sure there's more to see."

  We wandered around the party more until we heard the doors slam open. I looked that way and saw a bachelorette party entering the bar. Tony had put a sign on the door saying, "Private Party," but they either didn't see it or didn't care or both.

  They did the standard going to the bar and loudly telling the bartender that it was a bachelorette party, despite the large sash on the presumed bachelorette that said "Bachelorette" in fancy lettering.

  I saw and heard Tony say, "I'm sorry ladies, but this is—"

  "Tony! Let them stay! It'll be fun! I promise!" I yelled.

  Tony heard what I said and stopped. "You're paying for the damages!"

  "Fine with me!" I responded.

  Unfortunately for me, I had made myself a target. The most observant and mischievous one of the group who was mildly buzzed and only pretending to be drunk, who is almost always the maid of honor for some reason, spotted me before I could duck down and hide.

  "Hey you! Blonde guy wearing the horns! Come over here!" She patted a bar stool next to her, indicating she wanted me to sit down next to her like some trained dog or something.

  I looked at Margaret who said, "Go. I trust you won't let things go too far."

  "What's with the sudden change of heart? Do you have ulterior motives?" I asked.

  "I just really want to see what happens," she said.

  "Me too," Sarah said.

  "So you have ulterior motives," I said.

  "Just go already!" Margaret shoved me in the direction of the bachelorette party.

  I stumbled, but eventually walked over to the group of women ordering drinks and having a good time. I saw a lot of cosmopolitans and sex on the beaches. The maid of honor, whose arms were crossed, stared at me. Not to be crass, but what had her panties in a bunch?

  "What's with the devil costume?" she asked. "Those horns and wings look awfully real. And what's with the swishing tail? Do you have some kind of thing in your pants that does that?"

  "That's because they are real," I said.

  I touched my horns self consciously.

  "I knew it!" she said. "You're an animal abuser! You know, it's not ok to kill animals so you can have a cool costume. Just because you bought it online from someone else who did the killing, doesn't mean you aren't responsible."

  She poked me in the chest. I noticed she poked my pec rather than my bony solar plexus. She was copping a feel. Barely, but still.

  Ah, I see. So that's what she was mad about. She thought I made my "costume" out of animal parts.

  "Lady, no animals suffered in the making of my appendages!" I said. "When I say they're real, I mean they're really my body parts that I grew myself out of my body!"

  I looked around for a moment and realized the entire bachelorette party had gone silent and were sipping their drinks while watching this scene unfold. I had no idea what they were expecting to see, but it wasn't going to happen!

  "That's ridiculous!" she said. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

  She crossed her arms harder somehow.

  "No!" I said. "But it's true! Pull on my horns!"

  "Is that a euphemism?" she asked.

  "No!" I said. "Literally pull on my horns."

  I leaned forward so she could grab them. She yanked on them and yanked on them, but they wouldn't budge.

  "Whoa, they're really on there!" she said. "That super glue is going to pull your hair off later."

  "Oh, my god!" I said. "They are real! R-E-A-L! Real!"

  "If those are real, then is this real too?" she said.

  She grabbed my swishing tail and pulled. Whoa! That felt weird. It didn't hurt, but it sent tingles through my entire body.

  "Ah!" I said. "Don't do that!"

  "Why not?" she asked.

  "Because you're pulling on my spine!" I said. "It feels weird."

  My whole body shivered.

  "Are you getting turned on right now?" she asked.

  "No! Absolutely not! And don't check!" I said.

  She checked. If you don't know what I mean, I'm sorry. I won't explain it.

  "Oh, I guess not," she said. "Why are you shivering, then?"

  "Because you're pulling on my spine!" I said.

  I grabbed my tail and tried to yank it out of her hands. It didn't come out at first and then she suddenly let go, making me fall backwards onto my back. I heard two distinct giggles. Margaret and Sarah. They were enjoying this!

  "Are you ok, boss?" A voice said.

  I looked up. It was Steve. Exactly who I needed to prove my point. My savior!