Kazuki had exactly three functioning brain cells left, and all of them were screaming.

  The hydra—the massive, six-headed, man-eating, god-killing hydra—was sitting. Obediently. In front of him.

  The vilgers were staring. Lillian was staring. Kazuki himself was still trying to process what had just happened.

  "I…" His mouth opened. No words came out. He tried again. "I… was joking. That wasn't supposed to work."

  Lillian, standing frozen beside him, slowly turned her wide eyes toward him. "Holy One?"

  Kazuki blinked. His brain refused to reboot. He turned to the vilgers.

  One of them—a frail old man who looked like a light breeze could knock him over—suddenly dropped to his knees. "The prophecy was true…"

  Kazuki's stomach lurched. "What? No. No, no, no, let's not—"

  Another vilger knelt. Then another. Then, before Kazuki could get another word in, the entire vilge was on the ground, heads bowed in worship.

  Lillian sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is getting out of hand."

  "Out of hand?!" Kazuki whispered harshly. "I told a giant murder-lizard to sit, and now I'm a god?!"

  Lillian shrugged. "Welcome to divinity."

  Kazuki wanted to cry.

  One of the vilgers—possibly the vilge elder, given the excessive number of beads in his hair—lifted his head in reverence. "Oh Great Holy One… What shall we do with the sacred beast?"

  Kazuki swallowed hard. "Uhh…"

  His mind raced. Logically, the best answer was make it leave and pretend this never happened. But he had a sinking suspicion that if he suggested that, the vilgers might riot.

  He took a slow breath, squared his shoulders, and with all the fake confidence of a man drowning in existential dread, decred:

  "Uh… don't anger it?"

  The vilgers gasped in awe, nodding sagely. "The wisdom of the Holy One knows no bounds…"

  Kazuki stared at them. He stared at Lillian. Lillian smirked.

  This was going to be a problem.

  The immediate problem, however, was that the hydra wasn't moving.

  It just… stayed there. Watching. Looming.

  And worse, every time Kazuki moved, it moved with him.

  Step forward. The hydra slithered closer.

  Step back. The hydra inched forward.

  Kazuki stiffened. "Why is it looking at me like I'm a snack?!"

  Lillian crossed her arms. "Maybe it likes you."

  "That is NOT comforting."

  One of the vilgers cpped his hands together, eyes shining. "Oh Holy One, will you make the sacred beast our guardian?"

  Kazuki choked. "WHAT?"

  "Surely, this is divine fate!" another chimed in. "With your holy power, you have tamed the beast! We shall honor it as a protector of our nd!"

  Kazuki's soul left his body. "Okay, let's take a step back and consider the fact that I DID NOT TAME IT."

  The vilgers ignored him.

  Someone rushed forward, shoving something into his hands—a hastily woven flower crown, slightly lopsided but clearly made with devotion. "A humble gift, Great One!"

  Another dropped a bundle of cloth-wrapped food at his feet. "A feast, in your honor!"

  "I don't—" Kazuki tried, but the offerings kept coming.

  A pile of gifts—food, handmade trinkets, even a carved wooden staff—was forming around him. A small child tugged on his sleeve, eyes wide. "Holy One, will you teach us the ways of taming monsters?"

  "THERE ARE NO WAYS!" Kazuki all but shrieked. "THIS WAS A FLUKE!"

  "Okay, okay, enough!" Kazuki cpped his hands, stepping toward the hydra. "Listen, buddy. You did great. Love the enthusiasm. But now you can go home. Back to the forest. Shoo. Scram."

  The hydra blinked.

  Did not move.

  Kazuki frowned. "Go. Leave. Walk away."

  Nothing.

  He waved his arms. "Shoo!"

  The hydra tilted its heads.

  "Oh my god."

  Lillian snorted. "Maybe it likes the attention."

  "I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE A HYDRA'S EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HUMAN."

  Desperate, Kazuki took off running.

  The hydra followed.

  "IT'S FOLLOWING ME."

  The vilgers watched, enraptured. "Behold! The sacred beast follows its master!"

  "IT'S NOT FOLLOWING, IT'S STALKING ME!"

  "A bond like no other!"

  Kazuki tripped over his own feet. "I hate everything."

  Somehow, he survived the rest of the day without being eaten, sacrificed, or decred emperor. That was the good news.

  The bad news came ter that night.

  Kazuki, utterly exhausted, colpsed onto the bed in the tiny house the vilgers had offered him. He buried his face in the pillow, muttering. "Tomorrow, I'll fix this mess. Tomorrow, I'll—"

  Huff.

  Kazuki froze.

  That was not his own breathing.

  Slowly, dreading what he might find, he turned his head toward the window.

  Outside, illuminated by the moonlight…

  …was the hydra.

  Curled up right next to his house.

  Staring.

  Directly at him.

  Kazuki's soul left his body.

  "I have made a terrible mistake."

  Zexusgo