Living as an adventurer prepared you for many things. How to properly survive in the wilds, how to clean and maintain your weapons and armor, what best to do when facing down a charging beast ten times your size. All useful skills that most people didn’t need to use on a daily basis.
At this moment, I sorely wished I was back to those simpler times.
Instead, I stood in front of one of my worst case scenarios: a multi-organization panel of high ranking authorities whose sole purpose today was to discuss me. I shifted in my chair, which was at least sized for a Halfling, and relished the silence.
Every so often I’d glance at Brackenhorst, who was here to represent the Department of Dungeons. He was more dressed up than usual in fine silks fit for a noble, which meant that he was taking this meeting seriously. Sadly, his beard, which he absolutely refused to let grow back with magic, was still lopsided from the battle for New Frausta. It was growing, but these things took a while.
The elderly dwarf refused to meet eyes with me because he knew that I hated being here. He was right to fear me.
Beside him was the Head Adventurer of the New Frausta Adventurer’s Consortium, an aging Human by the name of Delward Khan. He was a local legend for his solo gauntlet run through the hardest dungeons one after the other, completing them all. He immediately needed medical attention from several clerics afterwards but, in his defense, he was 60 at the time. His bushy white brows were furrowed as he read through the parchments in front of him, and he skimmed through the pages.
“How are we supposed to make any informed decisions when this file is 90% redacted?” Delward complained, his voice full of energy despite his age. When he lifted up the parchment he was referring to, I noticed several black lines obscuring most of it.
That was good. It was nice to see that Brackenhorst was still taking my privacy seriously.
“It’s something Dungeon Inspector Badger negotiated upon his promotion from junior. He likes it when people don’t know things about him,” Sophia explained. It sounded like she wanted to say more, but she kept her snout shut.
The Kitsune was in her original form with red-orange fur and black markings. No one was allowed to be transformed in the meeting room without triggering magical backlash for security reasons. Sophia had been the liaison between the DoD and the Mage’s Guild, but after her work against the Cult of Chaos she was promoted to High Mage. She had been smug about the new position, given that it was only two steps down from Archmage.
The panelist at the end of the table was a dark green Orcish woman, and she sighed at the comments. She didn’t seem to want to be here, either. “It doesn’t matter how redacted the file is. Dungeon Inspector Badger already has the support of the Mage’s Guild and the Department of Dungeons. Baradon is also in favor.”
Talean Spasda was in full armor and regalia that marked her as the Warhawk, the High Priestess of the god of war, Baradon. His contributions to the campaign against the Southern Continental Dungeon were too large to ignore, and Talean had become the de facto leader of the clergy faction.
Even though I was working first and foremost with the Department of Dungeons, she would also have some slight jurisdiction over me once we shipped out. I was a paladin of Cheroske, the goddess of community, which meant I technically belonged to both factions. That said, my loyalty was definitely skewed more one way than the other.
“Doesn’t matter?” Delward repeated in disbelief. “This position is not one to be given away freely. I’m not planning on giving my support without knowing who this man is or what his accomplishments are. We are going to war; there’s no place for nepotism.”
“Inspector,” Brackenhorst said, gesturing towards me to let me know that it was finally my time to speak.
Swallowing a sigh, I stood up and got off of the chair. The desk I stood in front of was also sized for me, which meant I didn’t have to move around it. I nodded to Brackenhorst before meeting eyes with Talean and Sophia, finally settling on Delward.
“I am Dungeon Inspector Badger,” I greeted, standing at attention. “My junior, Ferrisdae Anne Runelara, and I were the first to discover the Dungeon Master during our subjugation of the Land Pirate Raitheus Razorbeak in what used to be the Thousand Year Blizzard. We fought our way through a pair of Story Dungeons with the adventurers known as Moose and Cojisto.”
“Yes, I know that part,” the man said dismissively, waving me off. “I received that information when I needed to get in contact with them to help out on your Athir mission. Tell me about that specifically. Reading about it is one thing, but I want your firsthand account of what happened. How did you deal with the Cult of Chaos?”
Pursing my lips, I glanced at Brackenhorst. He nodded, and I looked back at Delward. “We—Ferrisdae and I—left not long after being quarantined in the Mage’s Guild for being too close to the Dungeon Master,” I started. “Even though we were mandated seven day leave, we were pulled in early to deal with the situation happening in Athir.”
“Yes, you took an offer of extra pay in exchange for your time off,” the Chief clarified.
I glanced at him and nodded before continuing. “Carimella Rose, one of the High Mages of the Athir Mage’s Guild, arrived at the DoD headquarters and demanded to speak with someone who had been through the blizzard. She bought time until the storm was over and the ambient magic started growing stronger. A ritual had been carved into her flesh, scarring her and turning her body into a dungeon that CC somehow managed to transmit herself into.”
“Dungeon Inspectors Justisius Tern and Lidalia Pinkleduff were watching the interrogation, along with myself and Millicef, when the Mage’s Guild viewing screen turned off,” he added.
I arched an eyebrow, wondering if Liddy knew they were using her full name in these meetings. It didn’t distract me from moving along, though. “Yes. They attempted to break into the room, but couldn’t open the door due to the newly formed dungeon.”
“And what stopped the dungeon from taking root, Inspector?” Delward asked.
“I stopped it,” I answered simply. “After a short scuffle, I managed to skewer her in an attempt to disrupt the ritual binding her. CC, showing off speed and foresight that I really wish she wasn’t capable of, shifted her body so that I pierced two sections of scars, but that did nothing due to the way she shifted. I wasn't able to disrupt it until I ripped a piece of her skin off, there was an explosion, and she was no longer here.”
“The DoD was very thorough in detecting any dungeons she may have left,” Brackenhorst assured. “With her remains, we figured out that the only reason CC was able to use this magic was because of Carimella Rose herself. Her magic power, body, and spirit all aligned with the Dungeonborn on a deep level. We think she had been groomed at a young age to be a vessel. More of an experiment, really, since they didn't think the Thousand Year Blizzard would disappear and give them an avenue to use Carimella this way. Not only that, but she was a true believer of the Cult of Chaos, which was apparently a big deal to make the magic stick. CC left no trace other than the body, which ended up burned from the explosion of magical energy.”
“And after that was when you contacted me about Cojisto and Moose,” Delward finished.
“Correct.”
“We were back in a meeting the very next day,” I said to keep things moving. “Liddy went after her own lead, Justisius was sent to the Laroda Jareet Desert where a dungeon had suddenly popped up and magic was possible, and Ferrisdae and I were sent to Athir. There were more dungeons than usual with an inflated adventurer mortality rate, but ultimately our top priority was figuring out if the Cult of Chaos was based in the country.”
“Given my part in this adventure, I’d say so,” Sophia stated.
I hesitantly nodded. “Yes. That’s skipping ahead, though,” I said, and she gestured for me to continue. “Aside from a single stop on the way to keep up appearances, we went to the Red Thicket first. We immediately ran into trouble. Grandfather Red, the owner, was being used as a conduit to spread Rage Rot to the Treants in his dungeon.”
Talean raised her hand to stop me. “What do you mean by conduit?”
“I’ll need to give some context before I answer that question, if that’s acceptable.”
She nodded and prepared to take notes. “Feel free.”
“The Cult of Chaos was led by a Formthief Mimic named Abara and a Nymph called a Blackwood Queen, neither of which are native to our continent” I said. When I received blank looks from Delward and Talean, I explained. “A Formthief Mimic is a creature who can completely replicate any creature that it had eaten before. It had the form of the Gnome, Abara, that could create portals and cast spells at will as well as an Undine Water Dancer, an unknown house-sized monster, an unknown baby faced bug, and a second unknown bug that had an exoskeleton strong enough to prevent smites. I am unsure if it was able to have so many because of CC’s blessing or if that’s normal for their kind, but we should be wary regardless.
“The Blackwood Queen was much more simple, but strong in her own way,” I continued. “Not only was she an expert combatant capable of using martial arts, but she also gifted the Dark Elf Quarry’s First Daughter with the ability to cast magic by planting a seed in her hand. Later, we found out about the Thornguard, who were Dwarves with four spikes planted directly into their brain and stuck out of their heads."
“The Blackwood Queen has the ability to inject fungus into corpses, where they take over the body and make them move again. That’s what the Thornguard is. Through biological necromancy, she’s able to control them to do her bidding. When we came across them, she was dead and they were immobile. However, we’ll probably have to deal with her again, too.”
“What makes you say that?” Delward asked, his brow furrowed even further.
Behind my back, I clenched my fists. “One of the things Abara said in our final confrontation was that they could grow her again. I can’t recall if it’ll be the same Blackwood Queen or simply another, but she is a clear danger, especially depending on what her fungus can do. Things might get bad quickly if her Thornguard retain the skills, martial arts, or spells they knew in life.”
The room went still at the warning. “Badger, was that something you confirmed?” Sophia asked.
“No, I said if,” I admitted. “I just think it’s a reasonable guess.”
“It’s just conjecture, then,” Delward scoffed.
I turned to look the man in the eye. “I’d bet money on it.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“Because it would be an absolute pain in our asses, and that’s exactly what I expect this whole expedition to be,” I answered honestly, if unprofessionally. “Horrible thing after horrible thing with the deck stacked against us. Head Adventurer, imagine someone like Teladora Whizzlefizz becoming a part of the Thornguard with the full force of her power behind her and tell me that doesn’t send a chill down your spine.”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Delward opened his mouth to say something, but stopped before he could. He frowned, and then he grimaced. “Point made,” he allowed. “It would be best to treat the Blackwood Queen and her Thornguard with a level of caution above and beyond what we normally would.”
I resisted the urge to scowl. We should be treating everything like that, not just the Blackwood Queen.
“May I continue?” I asked instead. “I still need to answer the high priestess' question about conduits.”
“You may, Inspector,” Brackenhorst said.
“I brought up Abara and the Nymph because their knowledge of dungeons was far more advanced than ours,” I explained. “The Dungeon Master may have given us enough to keep up, but I’m not privy to that information so I won’t get into it. Her minions, however, clearly knew how to alter the magic to get what they wanted. In this case, to create a ring of dungeons around Athir to create a ritual circle which I’ll get into later.
“Ferrisdae, with the help of the Treesingers, was able to find out the cause of the Rage Rot. It was baked into the very structure of the dungeon via Grandfather Red, His dungeon was then removed from the Consortium lineup so that no one would find out. There was a Certificate of Destruction, though no one seemed to know how it got there.”
Brackenhorst held up a hand to stop me. “Before you found the CoD, you visited the Green Union, correct?”
I nodded. “Yes. The Green Union represented the Red Thicket, and I went to meet with the representative. That’s also where I fought the Blackwood Queen for the first time.”
“The Green Union has since been dismantled and their assets seized,” Sophia announced. “I’m not sure how much you’ve heard, but many of the executives were found to be members of the Cult of Chaos.”
“Yes, I have been keeping up with the news,” I said curtly. “But that’s beyond the scope of my report.”
“Of course.” She leaned back and rolled her eyes at me.
I wanted to do the same, but remained professional to spite her. “I also met with Dorostreff and his Chief Records Officer, Taramelle. She was the one who found the CoD in the records I requested. After that, the clerks and I spent nearly a week going over everything with a fine-toothed comb. No stone was left unturned, and we found a fair few actionable leads. I sent Moose and Cojisto to the most promising ones before returning to my route.”
“And what was your junior doing during this time?” Talean asked pointedly. “While you were making all of your discoveries, I mean.”
I frowned at the inflection in the Warhawk’s voice as well as the implication. Like I would take my junior’s hard earned credit. Absolutely not.
“Ferrisdae stayed behind to figure out what happened in the Red Thicket. Her work with the Treesingers was what allowed us to find the ritual rune hidden in the dungeon’s magic. Without her, we would not have pieced everything together later on. I trust her to be able to do her job without me, and we were able to make great strides on multiple fronts.”
The Orcish woman nodded, seemingly satisfied, and marked down a note. “Please, continue.”
“Right,” I said flatly. Taking a breath, I did as ordered. “After sending off the adventurers, I visited the Dark Elf Quarry. Matriarch Akshashka was happy to see me, thinking that I was here to talk to her daughter about a new dungeon with her in charge. She was still excited to hear that the Forest Elves were dying more often in her dungeon, but that’s neither here nor there.”
“This is the same daughter that was given power by the Blackwood Queen?” Delward asked.
“Yes. She was given magic similar to her family’s bloodline, which had not manifested,” I answered. “However, the hand that took in the seed went inert at the Nymph’s death, and through divine magic she’s made a full recovery.”
The Head Adventurer frowned. “Is that relevant?”
“It is when she’s become his second junior,” Sophia stated smugly. “Ferrisdae was such a good influence on him that they gave him another.”
I could no longer contain myself; I rolled my eyes. That was the only reaction I allowed her to get, though.
“Yes, indeed. Anyway, I spoke with Dalsarel, the First Daughter, at length both with and without her mother. She had no idea who the Blackwood Queen was, and the seed that entered her hand was found rather than given. Aside from the magic part of her body turning to wood, the only other side effect was that she was receiving visions of the Karst of Vile Spores, a defunct dungeon a few hours away from the quarry, in the form of dreams caused by a wizard.”
“This is when you had Sophia, who was then the liaison between the DoD and the Mage’s Guild, teleport you and Ferrisdae directly to my office,” Brackenhorst said.
It wasn’t, but they didn’t need to know what happened in between. Ferrisdae came with me to see her mother, who had been in the adventuring party who had last taken on Grandfather Red, and it hadn’t been good for her. Some information came to light that didn’t paint her family very kindly, and it had my junior second guessing whether she got into the DoD on her own merits or not.
I skipped that. “That is correct. I had a theory about a country-wide ritual circle and your continental map, which shows all active and newly created dungeons, helped confirm that fact,” I replied. “Without it, I would have had nothing but hypotheses to go on, so it was a big help.”
The old Dwarf smiled. He was so damn proud of that map.
“We used one of the abilities the Dungeon Master gave me to manipulate maps to zoom in on Athir and double checked each dungeon one by one, which was when the ritual circle theory was confirmed,” I finished.
“What was it supposed to do?” Talean asked.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to save that. It is the finale of the report,” I said. She gestured for me to continue, and I nodded in thanks. “When we discovered that the Karst of Vile Spores had been reactivated, likely to accelerate their plans, Ferrisdae, Sophia and I used classic Scry and Fry tactics with Cojisto as our focus. We teleported in to find that they were already fighting and Moose was downed from poison.
“With Sophia’s… aid,” I muttered, managing to get it out without gagging. “I was able to defeat the Blackwood Queen before Abara could portal her to safety. We did see the destination, though, which was the palace of Sultan Jareet. And, yes, before you tell me that’s impossible, I know. I’ll be getting to it.”
Delward hummed at that, but said nothing. He hadn’t seemed to have any problems with it before, but he might not have been paying full attention. That seemed like the kind of bureaucrat he was.
“Once he was outmatched and outnumbered, Abara used a portal to kidnap Ferrisdae and Moose,” I said, lowering my head. That still stung, even to this day. “The next morning we, Cojisto and I, made all haste straight for Laroda, burning an emergency teleport to get to Alashroe. We hired camels and a guide and spoke with Justisius as soon as we arrived.”
Brackenhorst cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention. “A dungeon did spring up in the Sultan’s palace, but we had reason to believe that it was the cult’s doing,” he explained. “Justisius was there to do his job, yes, but to check things out. He was making great diplomatic strides before Badger’s arrival.”
“But not after,” Talean said.
“No, because there was no more reason to be diplomatic after I got there,” I replied. I wanted to cross my arms, but I kept them firmly behind me, still standing at attention. “The moment the exiled prince, who Abara made the dungeon for, showed up and became distracted, I grabbed him and carried him out of his seat of power. Without his magic immortality, he didn’t dare to try any tricks and his men were no longer willing to put their lives on the line to help him.”
Delward barked a laugh. “That’s thinking like an adventurer.”
I shrugged. “It was the right call. Moose, Ferrisdae, and Dalsarel managed to escape and lock themselves inside Abara’s safe room, where they had been caged,” I continued, smiling at the thought of them making use of our distraction. “There, we found the reason for why a dungeon could exist in the magic-starved desert.”
“The mother lode,” Brackenhorst whistled. “This is the whole reason the merchants are so excited about this expedition. They can smell the gold ready to line their pockets.”
“The crystal was shaped like a tropical tree but had so much mana flowing through it that it was amber instead of blue or green,” I explained. “Ferrisdae and Dalsarel came to the conclusion that it could run the dungeon in the desert for decades before running out of power. It was like nothing we had ever seen before, something impossible, but we couldn’t just stand around. Not while Abara could come back at any minute.
“So we started going through his office, taking documents where we could. We were right to be quick about it,” I said with a grimace. “He reappeared not long after, using a huge portal that didn’t let me pass through it but allowed all of his stuff fell through, including the crystal. With no more reason to stay in Laroda, we left that night so Moose didn’t have to deal with the sweltering heat.”
“Himia, the Dungeon Master’s secretary, was put in my care at that time,” Sophia mentioned. “She knew exactly when Abara cast his big ritual and arrived with information on how to stop it.”
“Which was what, exactly?” Talean asked, turning to the High Mage.
“Send him,” she answered, pointing at me.
“Missing a lot of nuance there,” I said dryly even as the high priestess appraised me. “Essentially, Himia informed us that only those given power by the Dungeon Master would be unaffected by the powerful ritual spell he had cast.”
“Which we are now getting to,” the Orc said.
I nodded. “Yes. The ritual on the ground was for the Endless Moment, which Ferrisdae and I went to stop.”
“On the ground,” Delward repeated, picking up on my wording.
“The Endless Moment was made from a ritual circle using the dungeons,” I explained, though I was leaving a lot out. It had been very, very complex. Not only that, but I was getting antsy. This needed to be over with already. “It froze the entire country in time, which allowed him to make another ritual using lightning in the sky. That one was meant to exchange the city of Athir with land from the Southern Continent, which was likely to have CC riding along with it.”
“So you just casually saved an entire country?” he asked, brows furrowed.
That made me pause. Then, I shrugged. “All in a day’s work, I guess.”
“Damn. Nicely done.”
“It was tough, but Ferrisdae and I did manage to defeat Abara and return everything to normal,” I said.
This time, there were a few things I didn’t mention. Like Ferrisdae’s mental block on casting spells. I had taken extra damage to ensure that she pushed through it, as she thought I was going to die if she didn’t, and it hadn’t been a problem since.
I was really proud of her.
The second thing I didn’t mention was becoming a paladin of Cheroske. They knew that I was, but when and where was none of their business. That was personal. For all they needed to know, I had always been a paladin.
Lastly, I didn’t mention being able to see the connection point between Abara and the dungeon he had created inside the Endless Moment. Tricky bastard thought he was going to be able to revive on his own time, probably altered it to make sure he could despite the people around, and I had snipped it like a string.
Himia told me that I shouldn’t have been able to do that before she disappeared. I didn’t know whether to find that worrying or not, so I had put it out of mind.
“Ferrisdae helped her family restore order to Athir, and I returned home, where Ulrich Throm quickly found me and challenged me to a fight. I don’t know when he’s going to hunt me down when we reach the Southern Continental Dungeon, but he will. The good news is that he only cares about strength. He’s not a true believer in CC’s destiny or whatever, but that doesn’t make him any less dangerous. In fact, he’s probably second only to the Dungeonborn herself,” I finished sourly.
There was the sound of quill on parchment, but not much else, as I went quiet. Sophia seemed to be fighting with herself and I understood why. Ulrich used to be a part of Reliable Rhodes, the adventuring party my wife, Tabitha, started. He was aloof and battle crazed, but we shared some good memories together. We had been friends.
“Do you think you could kill him?” she asked quietly.
“That’s a stupid question,” I scoffed, and the Kitsune’s gaze sharpened. “There’s too much at stake. If we lose, that means my kids die.” I crossed my arms and shook my head. “If killing Ulrich means my family is safe, then I’ll do it a thousand times. No questions. It’s not our fault he threw in with something as deranged as CC, no matter how he spins it. When the time comes, I’ll do what needs to be done.”
“Very well, Inspector,” Sophia said, nodding. “Does anyone else have any further questions.”
Delward frowned. “I’d like to talk more about…”
I sighed as he brought up some inane thing from my past. It looked like he was going to drag this out, so I smiled, nodded, and answered more questions with the hope that he wouldn’t make this last for hours on end. That was a personal hell all its own.
Amazon and Kindle Unlimited and book 3 is starting on Royal Road!
As for other Dungeon Inspector news: Book 2's first edit session is over and I did update the chapters here on RR. Further edits will be done if anyone catches anything, but for the most part I'll be getting the book ready for Amazon. I expect it to take roughly two months, but that's just an estimate. I've also revamped chapter 100 - Ferrisdae. Some of it is the same, but a big chunk of it is new. Most other story beats stayed the same.
And that's all I really have for you. I'm glad that Dungeon Inspector is off of hiatus, and I'm looking forward to sharing the final book of the trilogy with you all!
(Please don't forget to purchase, rate and review ! Every little bit helps!)
