Pakin woke up feeling raw. Vulnerable in a way that was hard to explain.

  He lay in bed for a while, trying and failing to convince himself to get up. Eventually, his need to use the restroom overruled his tumultuous mind, and he rolled out of bed.

  He finished his business and walked to the sink, staring in the mirror at the reflection that looked back. The dark-skinned, white-haired boy staring back at him was both familiar and strange. He had a broad nose, sharp cheeks and jawline, and a square chin underlining a set of full lips. On his head was a shock of white hair, wild but not crazy, the texture soft and thick. None of it looked wrong, but it didn’t look right either.

  Since waking up in his new body, he’d never been able to form an exact picture of what he looked like before. He knew his features were rounder, his skin was lighter, and his hair was darker, but that was it. He didn’t even know the color of his eyes. He wondered whether the brown eyes staring back at him would be familiar if he did. He wondered if Shino would’ve picked him up if he looked different.

  It sent shivers down his spine, thinking about what almost happened yesterday. Something had shifted out of place when he saw Shino and started talking to her. His psyche was trying to pull levers that it couldn’t find. His physical brain was missing the eight years of development and hormones that would match what his conscious mind was attempting to do. He’d had to go through a similar experience with his body during the first few months of living in Fuwayama. He’d tripped over nothing, tried to grab things a little too far out of his reach, and struggled to do the most basic things. Maybe this was similar.

  Either way, he should’ve noticed how wrong things were, thought about what it meant to look like he did, and have someone much older approach him like that. Look at him like that.

  Pakin thought he’d accepted his new body and life, but clearly, he hadn’t. On the street he’d been thinking like a horny twenty year old. He’d even forgotten that he’d put on his ‘innocent kid’ face while walking around. Shino saw that face and looked hungry. He remembered her eyes and shivered, realizing that the look he couldn’t pin down was one of a predator.

  He was disgusted, but also scared. He was still a kid, physically, and that meant other people could seriously hurt him even if they weren’t super-powered ninja. A fully grown man could take him out if they were even just a little bigger than him. He could get seriously hurt, and there was nothing he could do to stop them.

  He could feel himself spiraling. Thankfully, after last year, he’d gotten good at noticing when it happened, especially when it related to his disconnected identity. So, he did the best thing he could think of and brushed his teeth.

  He brushed his teeth and hummed a song his mother used to sing while they tidied up the workshop together. Then, he took four deep breaths and whispered to himself, “Let’s go Pakin,” before stepping out of the bathroom.

  Walking out the bathroom door, he went over to his bed and changed out of his dirty clothes. They always went to a launderer on the second and fifth days they were in town, so Pakin had a fresh pair of clothes to slip on for the day.

  Oh yeah, we’re leaving Yoshiwara today. He let that sink in a moment and felt relief wash over him. Good. He thought, sorting his bag for the journey.

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  He grabbed his bag and went into the living area of their suite. Gera sat at the table with a cup of hot tea, polishing one of her many blades. Beside her were all the instruments he used to maintain her gear every morning. The rag he used to clean the blades was unusually red today.

  Oh shit. I must’ve slept in and missed my morning chores. Pakin quickly walked over to the table and set his bag down. As he was about to apologize, Gera stopped him.

  “It’s okay.” That was all she said.

  She put the weapon, her wakizashi by the looks of it, on the scroll and sealed it. Then, she put all the instruments away, slid her scroll into its strap, and invited him to the table.

  Just as he sat down, she got up, entered the kitchen, and walked back out with a breakfast plate. A serving of eggs, toast, butter, and two red bean buns! It was all still warm, probably from being kept in some kind of serving tray. Gera gestured for him to eat up, and said, “Once you’re done, we can settle up with the inn and head out.”

  Pakin did as directed, and within the hour, they were on the road north.

  Pakin and Gera sat on a log, facing a river that flowed southeast towards the ocean. After their first hour, the road started to run close to it, making for decent scenery.

  This is way better than shrubs. Pakin thought.

  Every other road they’d taken was surrounded by a dearth of shrublike trees or was sandwiched between pine forests. Leaving Kumiguri hadn’t even been that nice; they’d left the cliffs behind for the shrubby valley between the Ichiryu and Goryu mountain ranges. So, having this water feature to accompany them on this leg of their trip was pleasant.

  Pakin looked over at Gera, who hadn’t said anything to him about what happened yesterday. It knawed at him because he knew he’d messed up. He shouldn’t have gone into the red light district, he shouldn’t have bumped into Shino, and he shouldn’t have let her take him to that bar. It killed him that she hadn’t just chewed him out already, but he figured she was trying to be sensitive.

  Letting him sleep had been nice of her, but it also frustrated him. He didn’t want to be handled with safety gloves just because something bad had almost happened to him.

  “You don’t have to say anything, you know?” Gera said, almost like she’d read his thoughts.

  “I-I-I know, I just want to.” He fidgeted on the log and said, “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have gone into the red light district and I shouldn’t have gone into that bar with Shino, but-”

  “Don’t say sorry.” Gera interjected.

  Pakin stopped his building apology and turned to face his teacher. She stared at him with that same look of understanding that they’d shared when they sat on that bench under the stars in Fuwayama. Once again, there was a shared understanding, born from the same experience, and once again, she seemed to understand far more than he did.

  “No one deserves to be taken advantage of in that way ever.” She swiped her hand like she was trying to cut the thought in two. “What that woman,” She growled the word through clenched teeth, “almost did to you, is disgusting and vile. Even though someone was there to stop it, you still experienced something that should never be done to anyone, no matter who they are, what they look like, or what they’ve done. So, don’t say sorry, Pakin, never say sorry for what was almost done to you. Especially, when you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Pakin choked back a sob and said, “Okay.” Gera scooted closer on the log and gave him a quick, tight hug, and he whispered, “I won’t say sorry.”

  They separated, and Gera tousled his hair like nothing had changed between them.