Tyrion Lannister, the legendary half-man, was a bit down on his luck recently.

  Sure, he had always been unlucky ever since he was born a dwarf to Tywin Lannister. But this took the cake for the worst encounters imaginable.

  First, he went to the Wall and couldn't piss off the edge in fear of losing his most cherished sword. Then, on the way back, he ran into a complete madwoman, the Lady of Winterfell, ciming he tried to kill her son.

  In his stupor at the situation, her bannermen and sellswords all around the tavern valiantly subdued the fearsome, child-murdering Imp.

  Finally came the long walk to what I was eventually told was the Vale, and not even that went well, as my escorts were attacked by wild men. Thankfully, we survived and I even managed to earn some respect from my captors. I thought things were looking up until I met with the definition of insanity, the Lady of the Vale herself, Lysa Arryn.

  Whatever beauty she had when younger had faded fast. This was further exacerbated by her shrill voice and her son who was publicly breastfeeding despite being far too old.

  Thankfully, I was pulled to the cells to wait for my no-doubt wful and unbiased trial without having to endure more of her mad screaming. I can only hope my father doesn't take this to heart; unfortunately, he would never stand for any slight to our house, even if it involves his most despised son.

  King's Landing, a few days ter.

  "What's this? A small pack of wolves walking out of a whorehouse?" Jaime Lannister said with a mocking tone as he approached Ned Stark and his men.

  "Stay back, sir, this is the Hand of the King," Lord Stark's lead guard said.

  "Was the Hand of the King. Now I'm not sure what he is. But I know for certain he's a lord of a nd very far away. My brother... you remember him, don't you, Lord Stark? Blond hair, sharp tongue... short man?"

  Jaime moved forward while the surrounding Lannister guards surrounded the Northerners. "Aye, I remember him well."

  "Good, because I heard he ran into quite some trouble on the road. You wouldn't happen to know what happened to him, would you?"

  "I do... He was taken at my command to answer for his crimes." The surrounding soldiers drew their weapons along with Jaime Lannister in response.

  "Come, Stark, better to die with a sword in hand as I open you up from balls to brains so I can see what Starks are made of to have such audacity."

  "I'll go fetch the city guard," the most noble and trustworthy Master of Coin said as he ran off. No doubt to rescue his good friend who fucked his childhood crush and scarred him for life, literally.

  Ned gave a nod to this trustworthy man who had helped him so much since coming to King's Landing, then responded, "You kill me, your brother's a dead man."

  Jaime nodded and gave the order to kill everyone but take the wolf alive. Unfortunately for the Northerners, the Lannister army was well equipped and trained, unlike Reach flower knights and the northern rugged way of fighting.

  This difference was amplified by the king of weapons, the spear, and greater numbers. It was only when all the northern men were killed and the two lords entered into a single duel that the streets were calm again.

  The two traded blows without a clear victor as they swapped pces in the sword dance. It was at this moment that a Lannister guard pierced a spear through Ned Stark's calf, ending the duel and infuriating Jaime Lannister.

  This was his chance to show everyone he had honor, that he wasn't just a man who only fought by backstabs as everyone seemed to think.

  He was a Kingsguard because of his sword skill, not his father or sister. Defeating an honorable man in an honorable duel deep in his heart was meant to redeem himself, and this fucking peasant ruined it while still daring to look at him for approval. His dark thoughts contempted killing the man, but the surrounding soldiers would become liabilities, so he settled for a good punch to the face, knocking the man out in a single hit.

  "My brother, Lord Stark, I want him back," he said as he rode off with his men, mood now more grim than when he arrived.