Genres: Girls' Love, Slice of Life, Fantasy, Comedy

  Relevant Tags: Marriage, Family Talk, Fluff, Surprises, Sarcasm

  Characters Involved:

  Menie Arcus (Holder of Sagittarius, The Adventurer, Former Identity of Side Character, Former Ranger of the Hero Party)Melina Milton (Holder of Side Character, The Base, Daughter of Max and Catrina Milton, First Princess of Sacre P)Melika Aqua (Holder of Virgo, The Vilger, Former Identity of Side Character)

  Recommended Reading: Every chapter that features either Mel or Melina.

  Summary: Mel is off to meet her "family" to invite them to her wedding with Madeleine. Unfortunately for the archer, she now has to converse with her "sister" and find out what's happening to her "family." Maybe also share some gossip about her life with Madeleine too.

  Librarian's Note: There's already an epilogue, Assistant. What's the point of this?! Chuck it away! While you're at it, also throw away this bag of trash I have. Don't ask what's in it.

  Side Story Namesake: Homecoming by Kanye West

  Mel stands before the door to her "family's" home. At least, their true home, which, contrary to popur belief, is not the Sacre P Nation's royal castle. It's a normal house located on a remote near the coast of Sacre P, with the royal castle itself being within view of the isnd's beach. Still, Mel looks at the house puzzled.

  Although it can be best described as an average home, that is only by the standards of Earth. A two-storey, residential home that feels more at home within the confines of suburban grids than it does within the chaotic trash bag that is Mendass architecture, or rather, the ck thereof.

  Regardless, she quickly pushes her confusion aside, a skill she has long mastered thanks to her lover. She knocks on the door, hoping at least one person is free at the moment, as she would rather not have to go through the pain of attempting to have a meeting with royalty using the typical process. Fortunately for the ranger, her "sister" Melina Milton answers the door.

  "Oh, sis. Wasn't expecting you. Did you get divorced from Maddy and need a pce to stay?" Melina sardonically says, with a grin that slightly annoys Mel. Mel also makes note of what her "sister" is wearing, which is a simple tank top and sport shorts. Clothes you can't find in Mendass.

  "Funny you say that. I'm just here to drop off the invitations for you and the 'family' to Madeleine's and my wedding. Madeleine would be here with me, but she's off fighting something with Rio and Deja." Mel dryly says, pulling out said invitations and presenting them to Melina. Her "sister" shows some surprise at the invitations.

  "Wait, you guys aren't already married? I could've sworn there was a wedding before the world almost ended." Melina points out, clearly misremembering the events that have occurred.

  "That was Mimi's and Sofia's wedding. Now, hurry up and take the invitations. I've go-" Before Mel can finish, she is suddenly dragged into the house and finds herself being led deeper into the house. She sighs before crossing her arms and letting Melina take her to wherever she's being taken to.

  "We have got to catch up, sis. Don't be so cold. If you want, I could make some chicken soup to warm you up." Melina mockingly says, hearing Mel click her tongue at the suggestion. "No need to get all worked up. I was just joking."

  "This is why I only send you text messages." Mel states, her face now grumbled, crumbled, and shrumpled. She and Melina finally reach the house's dining table, and she finds herself pced on the seat across from her "sister" as well as a familiarly looking, if a bit generic, woman tied up on the chair Melina currently sits at. "Sister, I know we are in Mendass, but I'm fairly certain kidnapping is illegal. Especially in Sacre P."

  "Don't worry, I've got Mom's and Dad's permission. Plus, she's technically a 'sister' of mine, like you. Say hi to your sis, Melika." Melina sps the shoulder of the tied-up Melika, who responds with a heavy gre aimed at Melina, then one aimed at Mel, who returns the gre with a nonchant shrug.

  "Didn't she kill all the Side Character identities? Why are you keeping her around?" Mel asks, looking at Melika, who is currently trying her best to break out of her ropes. "Also, where did you get duct tape? That's illegal across Mendass."

  "Hey, if family can't forgive her, who's going to forgive her? Plus, when Mom's around, she's very obedient. She makes one hell of a beef curry." Melina says, getting up and walking through a nearby door. Mel hears the sounds of a microwave, then sees her "sister" return with two ptes of beef curry and rice. "Seriously, you've got to try it. Just the right amount of spice, meat, and poison."

  Mel looks down at the curry, which does look very appetising. She chooses to start eating some of it, having decided it would be a pain to tell her "sister" she noticed the obvious dodge at the duct tape question, as well as the mention of poison. Fortunately for the ranger, her adventures with her girlfriend have given her a resistance towards most poisons.

  "Huh. This is real good. Not as good as Madeleine's, though." Mel compliments the food, only to promptly get all smug, eliciting an even stronger gre from the curry cooker and an especially spiteful tongue click from the curry eater.

  "Oh, wow. Your maid girlfriend can cook. Soo amazing." Melina says with an appropriately rge eyeroll, to which Mel responds with nothing but a shit-eating grin. "While you're talking about your girlfriend, how about you rey some news we haven't heard, huh? Let me guess, not only are you guys having a wedding, but you're also expecting kids."

  Mel suddenly chokes on her curry, coughing wildly at the sudden mention of kids. She takes a moment to collect herself, then, with the most unconvincing tone, responds to Melina.

  "Nope. No kids. Can't even have kids. We're both women. So, yeah. No kids." Mel shakily says, before taking a bite of her curry.

  "Holy shit… I'd believe you if I didn't meet Maddy's dad or if Mom and Dad didn't end up having another kid, I would have sort of believed you." Melina drops her spoon, looking down contemptively, before looking at Mel in the eyes. "So, how'd you do it? Maddy's dad give you her secret magic spell to grow a dick?"

  Mel once again chokes on her curry, coughing wildly at the sudden mention of a penis. She yet again takes a moment to collect herself before answering the question.

  "Mara did give me the spell, but, due to Madeleine being an artificial creation, she can't be impregnated naturally." Mel calmly says, before taking in another spoon of her food.

  "Uh huh. So you somehow did the impossible, huh? Typical Maddy." Melina nods in understanding, knowing about the maid's propensity for absurdity, and she decides to throw out a response one would expect from Madeleine herself. "I've got it. You got her pregnant through handholding!"

  Mel chokes on her curry for a third time, coughing wildly at the sudden mention of handholding. She has to once again take a moment to collect herself, just so she can offer an expnation.

  "So, Madeleine's mom said that, if Madeleine is in contact with another person's mana for long periods of time, she could use the absorbed mana from contact to essentially have a baby. She also said it'd have to be contact with a person with the mana equivalent of an S-Rank Adventurer and the pce where they utilise mana the most… which, for me, is my hands, since magic arrows and magic bow. So… yeah… handholding got Madeleine pregnant." Mel then decides to attempt to eat her curry one st time, and fortunately for her, she gets to, as Melina ends up in a ughing fit over the sheer idea that Madeleine got pregnant through handholding.

  "Holy shit… that is fucking golden. I need to tell Jeremy as soon as he gets home." Melina wipes away a tear, then returns to eating the curry. Mel decides to change the topic of the conversation after the mention of their "brother."

  "So, how is the rest of the family? Are you all doing well?" Mel looks out the window, seeing a grand garden that seemingly goes beyond even the horizon.

  "The fam's doing pretty well. I know you were at the coronation, but Mom became the queen of Sacre P, and Dad's still the royal sorceress. Oh, yeah, I don't know if anyone mentioned this to you, but you're technically a princess too." Melina tells Mel, before snapping her fingers, making a list of who is royalty in Sacre P. Melina points to a name above her own, which reads Menie Arcus. "Lika here too is also a princess, below you. Oh, and thanks to your elven heritage, you're technically the eldest of us all, so you're behind Jeremy in the line of succession."

  "That sounds like a pain. Can I forfeit my right to the throne?" Mel asks, to which Melina is quick to pull out a second list, one without Mel's name.

  "We expected you'd say that, so here's the official list. It just has Mom, Dad, Jeremy, me, Eliza, and Connor. Connor is our baby brother, by the way. You should come by to meet him." Melina takes out a photo of a baby and shows it off to Mel.

  "I'll consider it. Now, is that enough gossip?" Mel says, having long finished her curry, in spite of all the curry she had coughed out.

  "No way, Lanie. I've yet to go over how Jeremy is actually really cracked at politics, or that Eliza has been enjoying being a gardener, or about how Melika almo-" Before Melina can finish her attempt at stopping Mel's leave, a portal suddenly opens beside the dinner table.

  The two stare at the portal until suddenly, a woman is flung through the portal. A woman with bright orange hair and wearing a maid dress. Before either Mel, Melina, or the maid can say a thing, a tentacle suddenly wraps around the maid's legs, dragging her back into the portal she was flung from.

  "Uh… yeah. I guess I'll let you leave, Lanie. Have… fun?" Melina reluctantly says, watching as Mel conjures a magic bow and appropriate arrows.

  "It was a nice talk. I'll come after the fight to see Connor, if he's here. Have a good day, sister." Mel gives a final wave to both Melina and Melika before hopping into the portal. The two sit there, looking at the destroyed table which was crushed by the tentacle, only for Melina to suddenly stand up, as if realising something.

  "Wait, shit. I forgot to ask Lanie about Myka. I still haven't given that bitch a piece of my mind and my fist… damnit!"

  pojlk