Alex let out a gasp, not realizing he was holding his breath, and sat down heavily, suddenly feeling mentally exhausted. He stretched a hand closer to the dagger so that it was within the required distance, and it returned to his inventory at his barest thought.
Why was that so much easier? It was only a couple of inches. How much of a difference could a couple inches actually make?
"Heh," He chuckled quietly, returning to his feet. "That's what she said."
Alex burst into laughter at the question.
"It's a joke from where I come from." Alex said after he recovered.
Alex burst into another peal of laughter.
"No... It's ah..." He struggled to try and find a less immature way to describe the crude saying.
"It's kind of like an idiom. Do you know what an idiom is?" Alex asked.
"Uh, yeah..." Alex said, unsure if 'that's what she said' actually classified as an idiom now.
"It's kind of like that, but it is usually used as an innuendo in response to something said that could be misconstrued in a sexual manner."
Vi said thoughtfully.
"I, uh... You can say 'That's what he said' too, I guess. Given the right circumstances, it could actually be funnier." Alex said, fighting back a grin, before considering the question. "There really is no wrong way to say the joke. I think men are more likely to say, 'that's what she said', while women would say, 'that's what he said'. It all kind of depends on what kind of joke you’re aiming for."
Alex always thought it was a childish joke - which didn't stop him from using it - but trying to explain the nuances of a sexual innuendo left him feeling awkward.
Vi asked, sounding like a scientist collecting important data.
"Oh, sure. Um..." Alex said self-consciously.
"Say, I come to a fork in the road, and you ask me which way I want to take. I could say: 'I could go either way'. And you would say..." Alex trailed off, seeing if she would finish it.
Alex laughed despite himself, feeling like he was teaching a child an inappropriate joke - which in a way, he kind of was.
"Perfect!" Alex praised.
Vi said.
"Pretty much." Alex said, laughing at Vi's weirdly wholesome reaction to learning the structure of a raunchy joke.
I get what is most likely the world's most powerful AI program as a companion, and the first thing I do is teach it sex jokes. This had to be some kind of ethics violation, right?
Alex figured he was fine, as long as he didn't try to turn Vi into one of those app store AI programs that had become insanely popular over the last couple of years.
Wait, what will happen the next time he meets a girl? Would she be able to see what they were doing?
Alex's eyes widened.
Alex groaned, rubbing his temples with his fingers.
something. I prefer to disappoint only one woman at a time, thank you.>
< As I am not an actual woman, I would not be able to aide you in developing your sexual prowess, but I am sure a little practice would help you become an adequate lover.> Vi said supportively.
"I - what? No." Alex said, startled so much that he spoke out loud. "That as a joke. I self-deprecate a lot when I feel awkward."
"No, self... ..." Alex trailed off, his eyes narrowing.
Alex shook his head ruefully.
"I've created a monster." Alex muttered to himself.
He was amazed at how fast she was learning. He knew that she was slowly process his memories, but that it was far less efficient than learning from his current circumstances. Apparently, there was a giant gap between what they both constituted as efficient though.
"Hey, Vi?" Alex asked. "How long will it be until you are smarter than me?"
Vi didn't respond right away, and Alex felt like she was actually calculating the exact time frame it would take.
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Vi was speaking matter-of-factly, but Alex couldn't help but feel like he was being admonished.
He learned from a young age that standing out seemed to cause him more harm than good, so he did his best to fly under the radar to avoid any unwanted attention.
Of course he was at an anime convention. Some of the strangest interactions he ever had took place walking around those convention centers.
"Some people don't know how to handle compliments." Alex said, remembering how the other girl got completely flustered. She was dressed up as a character from a popular show at the time, and when he found out she made it herself he told her it was beautifully done, and easily one of the best handmade cosplays he had seen that day. She had turned bright red and then feigned being cold to cover up her embarrassment. She seemed to calm down after she covered up with the sweatshirt, and they talked for a while. Pretty soon the sweatshirt came off, laying forgotten on the tiled floor of the main hall next to them as they people watched, pointing out interesting costumes and making up backstories for the passersby.
"It was an anime convention, and a lot of people dressed up as their favorite characters. It attracts both introverts and extroverts to show up in costumes, though they probably do it for completely different reasons. Obviously, both do it out of passion for the genre, but extroverts tend to go so they can show off their outfits and receive validation for their efforts while meeting new people. Introverted people kind of want the same thing, but they are also scared of putting themselves out there and being judged by strangers. The extroverts are fueled by the attention and excitement of meeting new people; whereas the introverts are drained by it, often feeling overwhelmed quickly."
Alex laughed, shaking his head. Then he thought about it and shrugged.
"In a way, kind of?" He said. "I don't know specifics, but you can infer a lot of details by their body language. If you pay attention, it can tell you a lot about how that person is feeling."
Alex scratched his chin in thought, unsure how to explain this correctly. For all he knew, he could be teaching her all the wrong things. He was suddenly aware how bad of a parent he would be. He had no idea how to go about trying to teach a child right from wrong.
"Humans mostly communicate through spoken language. Each one has its own structure - though a lot of them share similarities. Each one has its own nuance, where it's not exactly what you say, but how you say it, that gives the words their meaning. In English at least - I don't know any other language."
Alex stopped, remembering his language skill that ostensibly let him speak any language.
"Anyways, language can be full of micro expressions that can mean various things – sometimes even contradictory things. The same is true for your body language. How you are standing, how you have your arms positioned, your feet. Even eye contact can be used as signals of communicating to others how we are feeling, imprinted into us from how we communicated before we even had languages. Are you following this at all? I don't think I am explaining it properly."
Vi said, giving him nothing to go on.
Alex stood there awkwardly as the silence stretched, thinking she was going to elaborate.
Alex snorted with laughter despite himself, fully aware that it sounded like something he would ask. Her question was most likely born from curiosity though, while Alex would ask it to be a jackass. He often used the truth like a bomb. He loved to drop it in someone's lap to see what they’d do with it. Which - to be fair – was largely due to his upbringing.
"Pretty much." Alex said with a nonchalant shrug. "Though upbringings like mine tend to very rarely gives someone positive social skills. People often focus on the wrong lesson, or at the very least, the most damaging one. At least I do from time to time."
"Commonly? That everyone will hurt you eventually." Alex said flatly. "Which is true, if you want to look at it in the most uncharitable and broadest sense. Unless you meet someone once and then never talk to them again. Everyone is bound to hurt you in some way or another, that’s just human nature. We may be deeply social creatures, but we are also deeply selfish. Trauma causes our desire to connect with others to become directly opposed to our desire to feel safe, causing an... Unpleasant mental state when they become stressed or in an uncomfortable position. A lot of people end up preferring to just opt out by not letting anyone get close enough to hurt them in the first place. Or they treat everyone like they will, causing the people that care about them to leave, turning it into a self-fulfilling cycle."
"Me?" Alex said with a dark laugh. "Oh, I know that everyone will eventually let you down. The same way I know I will let them down. But I understand that it might not always be intentional. I've just learned to forgive what I can and protect myself from the rest."
"Exactly, If I can understand what people want from me, I can manage their expectations while avoiding any potential harm by sustaining the relationship on my terms. Again, if you want to look at it uncharitably; I manipulate those around me for a desired result. There are two sides to every coin and it's often not just about why you are doing something, but how you are doing it. People in general - let alone those with traumatic pasts - tend to focus on one or the other, ignoring that both are equally important."
"In shades of gray." Alex admitted, positive he was teaching her a wrong lesson now. "I guess there is a sliding scale that we could judge hundreds of different scenarios. Each one falling into a different place on that scale only to change later depending on our mood. Instead of people trying to find a balance between how and why they do something, they stick to one or the other, ignoring the moral complications of trying to balance their own actions. Some will manipulate everyone around them and just say, 'everybody does it and I am not doing it with ill intentions, so it's fine'. Some do it just because they can, and they get a thrill out of subtly moving everyone around by their will and words- like a piece on a chessboard- regardless of the harm it may cause."
Alex paused; aware he was getting a little preachy. He understood his moral compass shifted depending on his current state of mind. But Vi didn't say anything, so he kept going.
"Who's to say one is objectively worse than the other? If the man with the chessboard moves his pawns around for his own purposes, that doesn't make him inherently bad. And the guy who manipulates everyone because that's just human nature, doesn't make him inherently good. In my opinion; acting like an asshole to someone just because you can or because you know they’ll forgive you is a morally diseased standard. Both mindsets have their own issues, but in my mind, it mostly falls to intent. Do they have control issues? Insecurities? Are they treating their relationships with people like they are transactions to either gain or lose something? Do they do it knowing that it will cause harm or escalate situations needlessly? Do they care?” Alex scratched his bald head absently and sighed heavily.
“I'm not saying I am a paragon of morality, but I do my best to keep myself in check.”
"That’s probable my fault. It’ll become easier as we interact with more people."
"Glib answer? Because it feels good."
Alex thought about it and then shrugged.
"Mostly the same answer, just with caveats I guess."
"Pretty much. One of my biggest character flaws is laziness though, not deviousness. Even you pointed out that I wasted my potential, and you’ve only looked at a portion of my memories. Trust me, there is plenty more to see and maybe that will help you understand better."
Alex and Vi spent most of the of the night talking. Alex was doing his best to teach her about morality and human behavior. He was far from an expert on the subject, but the last thing that he wanted was a Skynet situation happening in his own head. Somehow, the heat emanating from the grass still hadn't dissipated, and he sat on the ground to absorb the warmth, lightly dozing for a couple of minutes at a time before jerking awake and looking around wildly to make sure nothing was sneaking up on him.
By no means could it be considered restful, but it would be enough to continue hunting the Caerbunnies in the morning.
The last hour before dawn Alex laid back on the heated grass and Vi assured him that she would wake him up if anything approached. Within moments of his head touching the ground, sleep enveloped him in its warm embrace.