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Chapter 1-24: Remembering

  Av’ry sat cross legged on the floor of Jade and Mikiva’s room in the servants’ quarters. While he waited for Mikiva to return, he pondered the smooth, white scar where the arrow had been. Another for his collection. If Mikiva hadn’t insisted, he would never have gone to the palace healer. The pain of the healing was always significantly greater than getting the wound in the first place and it never failed leave a scar, but she had insisted that they needed to be in the best possible physical condition, in case the Scorpions returned. She probably had a point. And say what you would about healers, they were quick. He fingered the wound gently, but there was no pain, it was like it was already years old.

  “It kind of looks like a crescent moon,” Jade leaned over the edge of her bed to look down at him.

  “Yeah, well I was hoping for a teddy bear, but this is the closest she could get,” he replied dryly.

  “Hmmm, well it could be an ear,” Jade squinted at the little scar. “If you get a few more arrows in the same spot maybe you could fill in the rest of the head.”

  Av’ry laughed, in spite of himself.

  “Maybe I’ll just stick with the crescent moon. I have enough scars as it is.”

  The door opened and Mikiva entered, looking pale and drawn from the procedure.

  “You doing alright?” Jade asked softly.

  “Peachy,” Mikiva grimaced. “But let’s try to be more careful from now on, shall we? That isn’t something I like to do very often.”

  “I am sorry,” Jade bowed her head low. “All of this was my fault. They were there for me. If I hadn’t left the palace…”

  “You can’t blame yourself,” Av’ry tried to reassure her. “I mean, you didn’t do it on purpose.”

  “Still,” Mikiva interrupted. “We do need to know why that happened. For one thing, it can’t happen again, it’s too dangerous for you to just go wandering off into the city. For another, somehow, you located a copy of that book. We need to know where you went and how you knew to go there.”

  “I know,” Jade pressed her hands into her temples. “But I… I can’t remember. It’s just… blank.”

  “Maybe there is something I can do about that,” Av’ry broke in gently.

  “You said that before,” Mikiva turned towards him. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it is sort of hard to explain.”

  “Try me.”

  “I am… what people commonly refer to as a Sensitive.”

  “Impossible,” Mikiva snorted. “You are a civilian. I have never heard of a Sensitive outside of the military.”

  “Maybe not, but there are plenty,” Av’ry shrugged. “A lot of Sensitives don’t even know what they are. I didn’t, for a long time. But you are right, most who are known are… utilized. Why do you think I was so hesitant to mention this? I’ve always been careful to keep a low profile. I have no desire to be drafted.”

  “And what exactly is a Sensitive?” Jade broke in.

  “Right, sorry,” Av’ry replied. “In simple terms, a Sensitive is someone with the ability to sense, and sometimes manipulate, the mental energies: magic, thoughts, emotions.”

  “In the military, they are mostly used as mage hunters,” Mikiva added. “They are used to find and target enemy mages, sometimes even neutralize them, depending on their skill.”

  “Exactly,” Av’ry nodded. “The ‘thoughts and emotions’ part is generally considered less useful. Probably for good reason, as the applications are somewhat limited. Magic is projected outward intentionally, so it is easy to detect, but people otherwise shield their minds from others quite well, so I can only really interfere when I am invited in.”

  “In?” Jade cocked an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, inside your mind, to be more specific. Which is why I think that I can help you. If you want to know what happened tonight, I can enter your mind and view your memories, even the ones you don’t consciously remember.”

  “What are we waiting for, then?” Jade asked eagerly.

  “Well,” Av’ry rubbed the back of his neck. “The thing is, it would be a significant invasion of your privacy. It basically requires you to give me complete access to all of your thoughts, feelings, emotions. I don’t have a lot of practice at this, and I can’t entirely control what I might see or learn. That is why I hesitated to even suggest it.”

  “But you think it could help?” Jade asked quietly.

  Av’ry considered for a moment,

  “Yes,” he replied at last.

  “Then do it,” she didn’t even hesitate. “I need to know what is happening to me.”

  “Are you sure?” Av’ry furrowed his brow.

  People rarely agreed so readily to this type of proposition. Never, in fact.

  “I trust you, and I have nothing much to hide,” she chuckled softly. “I have led a very boring life up until recently. I just hope my memories don’t put you to sleep.”

  She was putting up a good front, but he could tell she really was nervous. Nobody wanted someone else inside their head, no matter how little they had to hide. But he couldn’t think of another solution.

  “Alright. Well, I am going to ask you a few questions first, so I can better focus in on the memory we are interested in.”

  “Ok, shoot,” Jade leaned in.

  “You said the last thing you remember is going to sleep, right?”

  “Right.”

  “And you had been having trouble sleeping before that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Can I ask why?”

  Jade sighed,

  “I don’t really know. When I try to sleep, I have this dream. More like a nightmare, I suppose. Whenever I do, I wake up in a panic and I can never get back to sleep.”

  “What is the dream about?”

  “Nothing specific.”

  “Please, Jade. It could be important.”

  She sighed,

  “Alright, well it isn’t very clear, so forgive me if some of this is a bit muddled. It starts with everything on fire. There is a person there, in the flames, but even though I try, I can’t make out their face. They seem to be trying to tell me something, calling out to me. I can’t understand them. I hear other voices. They are desperate, urgent, begging me. I know that there is something I need to do, but I can’t remember what it is. The voices get louder, more insistent until I can’t take it anymore. That is usually when I wake up.”

  “How long has this been happening?”

  “I’ve had the dream as long as I can remember. But it has been worse since I came to Maaskal. It has gotten so bad lately that I can barely sleep at all.”

  “Why didn’t you ever mention this?” concern tinged Mikiva’s voice.

  “I didn’t want to bother anyone. It is silly, to worry so much about a dream.”

  “Did you have the dream tonight?” Av’ry asked.

  Jade bit her lip, thinking for a moment.

  “I don’t know… I don’t remember anything after I closed my eyes.”

  “Hmm,” Av’ry rubbed his chin. “Well, let’s see what I can do about that.”

  Jade nodded,

  “Do whatever you have to do.”

  “Ok,” Av’ry turned to Mikiva. “Can I ask for your help?”

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  Mikiva may not be his biggest fan, but she seemed to be concerned about Jade’s welfare, so Av’ry figured she would be willing.

  “What do you need me to do?”

  “Once I start, we are both going to be unconscious for a while. Neither of us will be able to wake until I am done, and if anyone disturbs us it could disrupt the process, which can be dangerous,” Av’ry explained. “Could you stay and make sure no one barges in? Or tries to kill us?”

  “Of course. I’ll be here until you get back.”

  “Thanks,” he turned back to Jade. “You ready?”

  “Let’s get this done.”

  “Ok. Come lie down on the floor,”

  Jade complied, and he lay next to her.

  “This might be a bit uncomfortable for a minute,” he warned. “Just try to relax.”

  Av’ry touched a hand to her head, his eyes closed, and he slipped into her mind.

  **

  Thunk. The knife hit the wall with a thud, embedding itself solidly into the plaster. Mikiva rose, retrieved her blades and lay back down on the bed. Dangling upside down off the side, she resumed tossing the knives into the centre of her carved target on the other side of the room. Idly, she wondered if K’ivin would make her repair the plaster. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. But frankly, she had to do something. Av’ry and Jade had been out for half the night, and she was going stir crazy in this room. She couldn’t leave and she couldn’t sleep, though it was getting very late by now and the day’s exertions were beginning to take their toll on her. So, to stay awake, she worked on her aim. Every once in a while, she looked over at the two prostrate figures to make sure they were still breathing. She wondered what it was like, having someone in your head like that. She hoped she never needed to find out. Thunk.

  As the final knife hit the bull’s-eye, Mikiva rose to retrieve them again.

  “Having fun?”

  Mikiva jumped at the voice,

  “Void, Av’ry! You could have warned me that this would take all night.”

  “How long?” he rubbed his eyes and stretched slowly, as if attempting to reacquaint himself with his body.

  “About 6 hours.”

  “Are you serious?” he seemed genuinely surprised. “I’ve never held a link that long. No wonder I feel like shit.”

  He got to his feet and gingerly lifted Jade from the ground, laying her out on the bed.

  “Is she alright?” Mikiva asked.

  Av’ry touched a finger to his lips and led her out into the hall. He closed the door behind him before he spoke again.

  “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake her. We can talk in my room,” he led the way down the hall.

  Mikiva couldn’t help but notice that he was leaning on the wall for support and his face was strikingly drawn and pale. She didn’t claim to understand what exactly he had done, but it had clearly been a taxing experience.

  “Jade is fine,” he continued. “Well, physically anyway. She won’t dream tonight, so she should be able to finally get some sleep. And trust me, she needs it.”

  Entering his room, Av’ry immediately began rifling through his bag, obviously looking for something.

  “What do you mean ‘physically’?” Mikiva asked.

  “Huh?” he replied, distracted.

  “What do you mean she’s alright physically?”

  “Well… That requires quite the explanation. Which I cannot give you right now.”

  “Why not?” Mikiva demanded testily.

  “The first person who should know what I found out about Jade, is Jade. I can’t tell you before I tell her, it wouldn’t be fair. Suffice it to say that she is in no immediate danger and that she is no worse off than she was before I did anything. The rest will have to wait until morning.”

  Av’ry finally seemed to have located what he was searching for. He pulled a bottle out of his pack and placed it on the table, then began looking through the cabinets in the room. Finally, Mikiva had to ask,

  “What are you doing?”

  “Having a drink,” he placed a glass on the table and cracked the wax seal on his bottle.

  “You sure that’s a good idea? K’ivin gave me the impression that you were trying to… break that particular habit.”

  Av’ry laughed,

  “Not tonight I’m not.”

  He poured himself a shot of clear liquor, downed it, then refilled it from the bottle.

  “Bad habit or not, I don’t do that sort of thing without a drink or six afterwards.”

  “So, it’s part of the ritual?”

  “Not exactly,” he shook his head. “I… have you ever tried to mesh your mind with someone else’s?”

  “Obviously not,” she scoffed.

  “Well, emotions are… contagious. Before I knew what I was, what I could do, I sometimes felt like I was going mad, the way other people’s feelings would just bleed into me, mixing with my own, overwhelming them. Now, I’ve learned to control it. But when I am actually in someone else’s head I can’t exactly block it out,” he shuddered, taking a sip of his drink. “It all gets stuck in my mind and suffice it to say that is extremely unpleasant. Another reason I try to avoid doing this sort of thing. Anyway, I just need a little mental reset, to clear my head so to speak. And I have never been any good at meditation. Is that a problem?”

  He stuck his chin out, prepared for a fight. Mikiva sighed. After all that had happened, for him to push himself this far to help Jade, it was actually kind of… gallant, selfless even. She wouldn’t have thought he was that kind of man. Finally, she shrugged,

  “Not if you’re willing to share.”

  “Be my guest,” Av’ry grinned, relaxing. “I hate drinking alone, anyway. Not that I’d let that stop me, mind.”

  Mikiva retrieved a glass from the cabinet and sat down on the second bed, across from his. Av’ry filled her glass and passed it back.

  “I’m warning you though, it’s not very good. I’m told I have extremely low standards.”

  “After a day like today? I couldn’t care less,” Mikiva replied.

  “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he chuckled, draining his glass in 2 quick gulps.

  Mikiva took a tentative sip. It burned like fire as it trickled down her throat and she grimaced involuntarily.

  “What is this stuff?” she coughed. “It tastes like kerosene.”

  Av’ry laughed, refilling his own glass.

  “A little taste of home,” he replied with mock wistfulness. “Ayveness moonshine. Good only for stripping paint and getting very drunk very quickly. At least partly because drinking it slowly is not something anyone is willing to do.”

  “I’ll take that advice,” Mikiva gulped the rest of it back fast.

  He was right, it was easier that way, though not by much.

  “It does serve one useful purpose though,” he winked. “If it starts to taste good, you know you’ve had enough.”

  Mikiva rolled her eyes and held her glass out for a refill. Av’ry obliged.

  “So, let me ask you something,” Mikiva leaned back against the wall.

  “I won’t tell you anything about Jade.”

  “No, it isn’t that,” she waved away his concern. “I have actually been meaning to ask you something for a while, but things keep coming up to distract me.”

  “Well, we have nothing but time now. Ask away.”

  “Twice now, once in the alley and once back at the inn, you did something… odd. You used strange clay balls full of smoke. That wasn’t magic, was it?” Mikiva scrutinized him for a moment. “No, I didn’t think so. Which makes me wonder, how did you do that?”

  “Oh, that,” Av’ry chuckled nervously. “You probably don’t want to know. It isn’t exactly… above-board.”

  “I am an assassin and a spy. You think that matters to me?”

  “It might. It does to most people,” he drained his glass again, and relented. “But I guess I can’t keep it secret forever, not if we are going to keep working together. It wasn’t magic, it was a chemical reaction. The clay separates two reactive chemicals. They are inert individually, but when they combine with each other and with the air, it rapidly generates a caustic smoke. I make them myself.”

  There was a distinct note of pride in his voice.

  “Chemistry?” she had been prepared for a less then legitimate explanation, but this went beyond that. This bordered on sacrilege. Again. “That is forbidden by the Gods.”

  “Forbidden,” he chuckled. “And why is it a forbidden, exactly? Because the priests of the Pantheon say so?”

  “The Gods only want what is best for us. If they say that the sciences are too dangerous for humanity, then why wouldn’t we listen?”

  Mikiva realized even as she said it that that was almost the exact speech she had been given as a child. In fact, if she really thought about it, she had rarely met anyone who questioned the Pantheon’s guidance, even within the less than stellar circles she ran in. Just reading about the Dragons, one of the forbidden subjects, made her nervous. But to actually practice chemistry… it was unheard of in polite, or even impolite, society. If the priests knew what he was doing…

  “I am going to tell you a secret,” Av’ry replied. “That’s crap. The Pantheon and their gods know that it is advantageous for them to be the only ones with certain powers and abilities. It works out well, because it means that no matter who is in charge they need to look to the Pantheon to get some things done. So, they have all the power and all the control. Sciences like chemistry and physics allow even non-mages the ability to perform incredible feats. It usurps the gods’ authority and weakens their power. So, they outlaw it. Tell us it’s too dangerous. Like we are children who need their protection. I think I’ll make my own choices about what is too dangerous, thank you very much.”

  Mikiva didn’t know what to say, so they drank in silence for a time. Eventually, he broke the silence.

  “So, are you going to turn me in?” Av’ry raised an eyebrow.

  Mikiva considered the question for a moment, finally she laughed. She was being absurd, wasn’t she?

  “Well, since what you did saved our lives, twice, I’d have to be a real asshole to turn you in over it, wouldn’t I? I can’t speak to your soul, but your secret’s safe with me.”

  “Maybe there is hope for you after all,” Av’ry laughed.

  “I like to think so. But that does beg the question, where did you pick up all of these… radical ideas?”

  “My old partner was somewhat,” he considered his words for a moment, “non-traditional in her beliefs. I guess some of it rubbed off.”

  Thinking back, Mikiva did recall that Taevyn Fox had a reputation as being a bit strange. Perhaps it was only natural that he would share some of her eccentricities, after all the years they were together.

  “So, now that you know my deep, dark secret, can I ask you a question?” Av’ry said.

  “I suppose that’s only fair. Ask away.”

  “How did someone like you become an assassin?”

  “Someone like me? What am I like, exactly?” she asked rhetorically. “I imagine that I got into it the same way anyone does. It was just a job.”

  “That is obviously not true,” Av’ry replied. “I saw the way you looked at M’arec. There was so much hatred in your eyes. And I heard what M’arec said to you. When he told you that you were just like him, it hurt you. I can’t help but wonder, why did you do that job in the first place, if you feel that way?”

  Mikiva sighed. There was no point denying it, he was right.

  “It’s a long story.”

  “I have time,” Av’ry leaned forward and refilled his glass.

  Mikiva hesitated. She didn’t tell this story. In fact, in the years since she had left the Scorpions, she hadn’t told a single person. Not even K’ivin. Then again, no one had ever really asked; it wasn’t like she had a lot of friends and K’ivin already knew, at least most of it. It was why he had sought her out. Perhaps it wasn’t even really a secret, it was just that no one had ever cared before. And maybe that was why part of her did want to tell him. Of course, the fact that she was already a little tipsy probably wasn’t helping her quash that impulse. She put the glass down without refilling it. With everything going on, she didn’t need to actually get drunk tonight. But maybe she did need to tell this story. It had been hard, to see M’arec. Harder to kill him. And feeling like it was all some great secret weighed on her. Just saying it aloud would be so… freeing.

  “I didn’t hate it when I started out,” she said quietly. “At the time, I was alone, and I was angry. I thought that joining the Scorpions was the only way to accomplish my goal.”

  “Which was?” Av’ry prompted.

  “Revenge,” Mikiva dropped her eyes to the floor, shame burning her cheeks. “I wanted revenge, and nothing was going to stop me from getting it. Not back then. But I suppose that answer requires a bit of explanation itself, doesn’t it? If you really want to hear it.”

  “I do. Really.”

  He sounded so sincere that Mikiva was tempted to believe he actually cared. Though she had no idea why. Still, perhaps a sympathetic ear was exactly what she needed.

  “Alright,” she took a long breath. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

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