Alwin looked around the campgrounds, eyes darting between tents and makeshift signs, in hopes of any obvious clues to where the bathroom might be. There was none. Unless you consider nature the world's biggest bathroom, but he wasn't that desperate. Not yet.

  Instead, he had no choice but to ask the guards stationed in front of the tent. Oh, and the logistics department, too, while he was at it.

  "Excuse me. Where's the closest bathroom?" Alwin asked. "And the logistics department?"

  The wolf, goat, and cabbage exchanged a loaded glance before turning back to Alwin. Without a word, they pulled out a small spade and a roll of toilet paper.

  "Bathroom hasn't been set up yet," the wolf soldier said, handing Alwin the items. But when he realized his mistake that Alwin had no hands, he sheepishly placed the rolls on top of the already perilous pile on Alwin's head. "Just make sure to cover it up when you're done. And make it obvious enough."

  Alwin was left gobsmacked as the soldiers looked at him with faces that said, “First time? I get it.”

  "Logistics are over by the Caesar Salads," the cabbage soldier pointed toward the other end of the camp. "I'd hurry if I were you. Commander Cooper gets ticked off easily whenever Cooper Trooper is involved."

  Who cared about the egg? Right now, Alwin's needs were way more important. Was he desperate enough to really bury his treasure? He wasn't. Alwin was smart enough to come up with another solution.

  He dashed off, running past tent after tent after unlabeled tent. But he didn't need a sign to point to his destination. Alwin just had to retrace his hops.

  Alwin dove into a tent. The tent where his classmates first assembled. Then he dove into the tent that was inside the tent. From there, he dove into the glowing portal that was inside of a tent inside of a tent inside of a ginormous tent that was Tentative Camp—yes, it’s confusing, but that’s the point.

  One second he was in Tentative Camp, the next he was back at the Warp Station. Without any care for the weird looks he received, Alwin zipped through the station and into an empty bathroom stall.

  A long sigh of relief escaped his soul as Alwin broke the world record for the longest time spent going number one while balancing a bunch of items on his head.

  Now, with that settled, Alwin could take a nice, leisurely stroll back to camp. However, the thought of being yelled at by Uchronia for taking so long sent a jolt of fear that jiggled throughout his entire body. Even worse, what if Commander Cooper found out and failed him! Or maybe Uchronia being disappointed would be worse.

  Rather than debating which was the worst option, Alwin sprinted through the Warp Station. Security golems spotted the runaway slime, but he was too fast, and they were too late. Alwin dove through the portal once more and found himself back in Tentative Camp. He didn't even look back to see if anyone followed him. There were bigger things at stake here.

  Alwin didn't know where the Caesar Salads were, but he couldn’t afford to slow down. So, he did what any questionably rational person would do. Alwin spun on his behind as the world revolved around him.

  Tents. Wolf. Tents. Bion. Even more tents. Finally, a cabbage!

  The spinning top came to a halt as he hopped toward the Caesar Salads. Tess the Lotus Turtle waved hello, but Alwin barely managed a nod as he zipped past. Pleasantries could wait. Logistics could not.

  After a lap around the horde of vegetable soldiers, he spotted a tent that looked like it dealt with logistics.

  A long queue in front of the tent snaked away. Monsters would line up empty-handed and leave with what looked like a mix between a peeler and a whetstone. If they were doing what he thought they were doing—literally sharpening themselves. Wow… That was hardcore.

  But Alwin had no time to wait. So he did what only a bad monster would do. He cut to the front of the line.

  "Hey! Back of the line," a carrot soldier scolded, pointing a leafy limb at Alwin.

  "Yeah, no cutting," added the cabbage in charge of the logistics tent. "Which platoon are you with anyway?"

  "None?" Alwin replied, his voice peeking. "Unless Commander Cooper is a platoon?"

  "The captain?"

  "I thought he was a Commander?" Alwin asked.

  "Well, he is.” The cabbage nodded.

  The carrot that had chastised him earlier added, “That's his first name. But it’s also his title as Commander of FieldOps. His actual rank is Captain. So, what does the Captain want?"

  "A heat crystal."

  "It's for Trooper?" the logistical cabbage exclaimed, leaves widening. "Why didn't you say so!"

  He ducked below a counter and yanked out a rough red heat crystal and handed it to Alwin. Until he realized that Alwin had no hands to receive. He had no choice but to place it on top of the roll of toilet paper, right where the hole was.

  "Go on, quick!" he shouted, waving Alwin off.

  “Yeah! Quick!” The other vegetable soldiers in line echoed out.

  Alwin hightailed it out of there, balancing the leaning tower of armor, toiletries, and crystal atop his head. With great caution, Alwin weaved through the various rows of tents, dodging carrot patrols and cabbage duels and navigating his way back to the most centralized tent in the entire camp.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  Once there, he ignored the guards who had so graciously offered him their toiletries and dove straight into the tent.

  "I'm back!" Alwin declared.

  Both Uchronia and Gus spun around, their faces covered with panic. Their heads dropped toward the crib where Cooper Trooper should have been. Emphasis on should.

  The nest of blankets was empty. Not a single trace of Cooper Trooper could be seen. As for where Cooper Trooper was located? Well, that's quite the mystery. Maybe the culprit was still lurking inside the tent, hiding in plain sight, waiting for the perfect moment to snatch their prize and slip away once the three of them left to investigate. Or perhaps it had something to do with the small hole on the floor that was suspiciously next to the crib.

  What a mystery that only a master detective had the skills to possibly unravel.

  "What happened?" Alwin asked.

  "I-I-I don't know. There was a huge flash of light, then the next thing I knew the egg was gone," Uchronia cried out. Her leaves flapping erratically. "Then you popped in."

  "Yeah," Gus said. "The light was so bright that it smelled like curry."

  "I don't really get the analogy, but that sounds bad," Alwin said. "What are we going to do? If Commander Cooper finds out he's going to fail us!"

  The gears in Alwin's brain started to spin. There was a way he could be absolved of all responsibility.

  "Actually, he's going to just fail both of you. I was out grabbing the crystal. I have an alibi." Alwin breathed a sigh of relief. However, that sigh was quickly shoved back into his body, along with whatever dignity he had. Because a certain angry plant girl wasn't having any of it.

  "I mean, we better go find Cooper Trooper fast before the Captain finds out."

  "Don't you mean Commander?"

  "Nope. Captain's his rank." Finally, Alwin had a chance to one-up her with knowledge she didn't possess.

  "I see... So he's a Captain, and his position is Commander of this company. Does that mean Commander's his first name?"

  How did Uchronia figure all of that out with just one sentence? Alwin needed like two people to explain everything to him before he got it. Darn it!

  "Yeah, but never mind that. I bet whoever kidnapped Cooper Trooper did so using that hole!" Alwin pointed at the hole next to the crib, using his tower of gear on his head.

  "Well, obviously. But I'm more worried about the Captain blowing a gasket when he finds all of us missing whenever he does his spot check," Uchronia said.

  "Oh, that's easy. Leave it to me," Alwin said.

  "Are you sure? Can I trust you?"

  "Probably!" Alwin gave her a huge toothy grin. If he had hands he would've given her a thumbs up as well.

  Uchronia simply sighed and rolled her eyes at him. Now, that's the Uchronia he knew.

  "Now go catch up with Gus," Alwin said.

  "What do you mean?"

  Uchronia turned around to find that Gus was missing. The only evidence of his existence was the trail of wet crumbs that led into the hole in the ground.

  "Why, that!" Uchronia interrupted herself before jumping into the hole. Her voice echoed up from below. "Don't take too long and catch up with us, fast!"

  Now, Alwin was all alone and ready to enact his plan.

  When he stepped outside of the tent, about to execute it, the wolf soldier stopped him. "Can I have my stuff back?"

  "Oh, sure. Just gimme one sec," Alwin said.

  Begrudgingly, he had to summon a pair of Spirit Hands to aid him with his plan. Grabbing the dirty toilet spade with his mouth was way too gross even for him.

  The hands grabbed onto the spade and followed Alwin's instructions. Since he didn't have a sign on hand, he just had to make his own sign. But he didn't know how to do that either. So, with the help of the Spirit Hands, they drew a crude sign on the ground using the spade.

  “Private Karaoke Party. Do Not Disturb!"

  Yup, that should do it.

  The Spirit Hands returned the toilet spade and toilet paper to the wolf soldier, who gave a nod of thanks. His eyebrows arching when he looked at the sign that they drew. Behind him, the goat soldier and cabbage soldier snorted with stifled laughter.

  All of a sudden, all three of their expressions disappeared as their hands shot up to their head.

  "Afternoon, sir!" They saluted.

  Alwin was smart enough to know that Commander Cooper was behind him, but he still wanted to entertain the idea that they were actually saluting him.

  "At ease," he whispered to himself before whipping around to find the incredibly muscular chicken staring down at him.

  "Recruit!” Commander Cooper boomed. “What are you doing out here instead of looking after my baby?"

  "I was putting up a sign so that no one disturbs us."

  "A karaoke party? Interesting… I suppose I can afford a break or two."

  Oh no. His plan was falling apart right in front of him. It hadn't even been a minute.

  "Wait, sir!" Alwin said, just before Commander Cooper entered the tent.

  "What is it? You better have a good reason for stopping me from serenading my precious baby."

  "It's a private party, sir. Even you're not allowed to disturb it. Cooper Trooper's orders."

  "Really now? Then tell me, recruit! What are you going to sing to my baby?"

  Alwin was sweating bullets now. He really should've thought through this plan more. Or, at the very least, see what lullabies Commander Cooper had prepared.

  “Mary had a rock-a-bye baby have you any wool,” Alwin blurted out.

  A long beat of silence broke out as Commander Cooper stared at Alwin.

  "Yes, yes. That's my baby's favorite lullaby too,” he suddenly said. “I'm glad you're taking good care of my baby. Now go on and serenade him. And tell me when the party's over so that I can visit my baby. Understood?"

  "Yes, sir!"

  Alwin breathed a sigh of relief as Commander Cooper returned to his office. That actually worked? Why, of course it did. For he was the genius tactician of the squad, and it was most definitely not just pure dumb luck.

  After giving himself enough praises and pats on the shoulder, Alwin dove into the tent, making sure it was sealed shut before jumping into the hole next to the crib.

  Surprisingly, the tunnel was just wide enough for Alwin and his tower of items to squeeze through. And Gus was right. It did smell like curry, plus a lil bit of muffin too.

  Soon, Alwin could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He popped his head out for a nice deep breath of non-curry scented air—not that there was anything wrong with curry.

  "Over here," a voice whispered to him, breaking him out of his justification session.

  Alwin turned around and found a giant tent that blended in with the forest. Since when could tents talk to people? They probably couldn't, so that must be the giant tent that housed Tentative Camp. Alwin turned around again and found who was whispering to him.

  It was Uchronia.

  Her plant body was suited for blending in with the surrounding foliage, melting into the bushes. On the other hand, Gus' bright yellow fur was not. He stuck out like a sore, jaundiced thumb.

  "Be quiet," she whispered again, beckoning him to come closer.

  Alwin tip-hopped his way to the bushes, wondering what they were hiding from.

  The sounds of people talking from the other side of the bushes rang clear as a cloudless day. Voices bounced off the trees and made their way towards their ears. Those were the meanies that had stolen Cooper Trooper and his pass for the Final Exam.

  Now was the time to steal them back.