Senna - The Farm

  The oppressive darkness pressed in from all sides, crushing Senna like a vice. Though not physically, it tightened on her mind, making her feel crazy. In the day, precious light filtered through the tiny gaps in the old floorboards of the main floor. But at night, the dark was total and complete, making her mind race. She tried to fall asleep before the fire went out upstairs and her family’s footsteps stopped creaking overhead, but she couldn’t always find sleep with the noise. Not to mention the constant, underground damp cold and only having a thin, threadbare blanket for warmth. Her fingers and toes had gone numb within hours and had seldom left her corner, limbs curled in tight around herself for warmth atop her meager bed of hay. She listened intently for mention of her. The men above barely spoke and she never once heard her name. Forgotten.

  At least, she would think that was true if one of her brother’s didn’t bring her a bowl of stew and bread every night. Just enough food to keep her alive. She pleaded with them to let her out and they just looked at her in pity before closing the door again without a word. Jensen and Harvey were the only two to make an appearance, never Geo or her father. Once, Jensen hesitated, like he wanted to say something to her but then decided against it and left. She could only think of what her father had revealed to her before sentencing her to confinement. The conversation played on repeat in her mind as she lay shivering. Besides the bed of hay and blanket, there was only a bucket to relieve herself, which was changed out every other night when her meal was delivered. The tiny room had no windows, a concrete floor and a thick wooden door. It was just a tiny closet turned prison cell. She knew better than to try and fight her way out. With limited food she was weak and her brothers were strong. The door was secured with a heavy chain and padlock, the key hanging a few inches away on a nail in the wall. She knew there was no chance of fighting off her brothers in the small window they held the door open. Even if she managed to get past them it would be a temporary reprieve before they caught up to her and threw her back in. And it would likely cause a visit and beating from her father, she’d learned the hard way.

  She had been locked in the basement room for four days and nights before her father came down in the morning to retrieve her. He pulled her to her feet and forced her out of the room and up the stairs without a word. She knew what this meant and almost wished she could go back to the dark room downstairs. He pushed her to the back of the house where a bath had been drawn. He instructed her to bathe and closed the door to give her privacy. She knew he waited on the other side and that she would be smacked if she didn’t do as she was told. Briefly she considered it: making his life hell if he was going to force her to go through with this. But she knew, in the end, he would force her into the bathtub and scrub her himself if it came down to it. She’d been here before. In her early teen years, her father had taken to locking her in the basement for stretches at a time. He would grow paranoid when the town collectors would come around for the dues. When Senna had started to go through puberty, he had seen her face and body changing before his eyes. He was convinced that someone would notice their secret. He’d lock her away and say if they asked about his other son, he’d tell them he had developed an illness and they isolated him so it wouldn’t spread. Isolation wasn’t an uncommon way to treat illnesses so it likely wouldn’t be questioned and no one would come poking around for fear of catching the illness. After a while, though, he stopped locking her up when she started wrapping her breasts and wearing extremely baggy clothes and a large straw hat when leaving the house. Her father only allowed her to eat a small lunch and dinner to stay extremely thin, worried her body would fill out and be impossible to hide.

  She survived though and, beyond those hard years of living in fear of her father throwing her into the dark basement room and nearly starving her, she managed to find happiness in her life. Rydan became her best friend. He knew that she wasn’t a man, as did the rest of his family. While they turned their backs on her like some dirty little secret they wanted no part of acknowledging, Rydan never cared. He treated her like anyone else, laughing and chatting as they helped each other work when they didn’t have to finish their duties on their own farms. She loved the animals, each and every one of them and found solace in being in their company. She considered them friends. Then when she was allowed to tend her herb garden, she was completely at peace, knowing she was providing for her family. It was as if she had a unique place in the world and she could put her secret aside and just live. She never expected things to turn.

  Though, when she thought about it during those long days locked away, she had to admit that this likely had been her father’s plan for a while. He didn’t marry Geo off not because he was saving up the money but likely because he was waiting for her to mature to an acceptable age. Rydan’s family acted strangely when seeing them together, which she thought was because they knew she was a woman. She assumed they were wary of Rydan’s intentions but in reality they were likely worried about how it would look to Senna’s father who had promised her to Geo. Geo’s tension toward Rydan confirmed this theory in her mind. Plus, Geo rarely spoke to her in a normal manner like her other brothers did. She’d find him watching her with an intense expression at times. When she’d meet his stare he’d look away but she would occasionally catch him watching her work. It all added up now.

  One thing bothered her most, though. She wondered if Rydan knew the plan all along but was forbidden or, for some reason, wouldn’t tell her. The thought of him keeping something like this from her made her stomach turn. He was the one person she was able to talk openly with, able to be herself and not hide who and what she was. She couldn’t fathom it was possible that he knew but… was it? She couldn’t dwell on that thought very long without her the little food in her stomach threatening to make a reappearance so she tried to force it out of her mind.

  She bathed quickly and dressed in the robes her father had laid out for her. She saw them when she had come in and hadn’t needed to ask if they were for her to dress. There would be no more baggy shirts with overalls and straw hats. She’d wear the tan robes without the hood and mask into town and come back completely clothed. She pulled them on, immediately noticing they hung extremely loose on her tiny frame. They weren’t new, the thread worn and patched in some places. They were likely her mother’s and had been tucked away somewhere until now.

  She emerged from the bathroom to find her father sitting on a chair beyond the door. He looked at her in the robes when she emerged, something momentarily softening in his expression as he did so. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then thought better of it and turned to head toward the front of the house.

  “Come on,” He said, already walking away and motioned for her to follow him. Once again, she did as she was bid.

  She sat down at the dining table as instructed, her brothers nowhere in sight. She knew they were likely already busy with the day’s chores. Even if her life as she knew it was ending, theirs needed to continue uninterrupted to keep the farm running. She couldn’t help but to envy them.

  She ate the dry, bland oatmeal that had been set out for her. Her father claimed “for energy” to face the day ahead. It didn’t matter what it tasted like, it could have been a decadent chocolate cake from the bakery that she always admired in the window in town and it still would’ve tasted like nothing. She ate every bite of the oatmeal though as her father watched, arms crossed over his broad chest. As she finished the last bite, a commotion outside their house caught their attention. Senna turned to look as her father jumped to his feet, cursing under his breath. Senna spotted Grady’s form, bounding around in the front yard as raised voices reached the house. Oh no, she thought as she too got to her feet and raced toward the door.

  Rydan was standing with his back to the house, Geo in front of him, in his face. Rydan was red in the face, visibly livid over whatever had begun to transpire between the two of them. Grady paced back and forth, a low growl escaping him as his intelligent eyes stayed locked on Geo.

  “Where is she?” Rydan asked in a low, threatening voice. “I’m not going to ask you again.”

  Senna was startled to hear him say ‘she’ as no one in her family dared refer to her as anything other than he or him, even to one another. Realization hit her that he must have heard what was going on. Her father moved off the porch toward the two men standing in the yard. Grady’s attention flickered to him before returning to Geo, leaning in Rydan’s face. Geo’s face was serious but calm. There was no trace of anger there but that didn’t mean he didn’t plan to fight Rydan. It wouldn’t be the first time. Just a few months prior they got into a skirmish over something Rydan had said. Geo came out with a split lip and chipped tooth. Geo had attempted to hit Rydan first but he dodged, countering with a fist to Geo’s mouth. Rydan’s father had broken them up that time before things could escalate further.

  “What our family does is none of your concern, son,” Senna’s father said as he reached them.

  Rydan turned toward her father to reply but caught sight of her standing on the porch. When his eyes fell on her they gre huge and his mouth fell open in stunned disbelief.

  “N-no,” He said, a look of horror coming over his face. He went pale as he looked her up and down, eyes lingering on the tan robes and hood she held in her hand. “I can’t believe you’re really doing this to her.”

  Senna’s heart hammered at his words. He hadn’t known then. Though she knew it meant nothing toward her fate, she was still glad that Rydan didn’t have a part in their family scheme. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at him, helpless.

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  “I told you,” Her father said, voice stern. “It isn’t your concern. Take you hound and go home, Rydan.”

  Rydan turned toward Senna’s father, anger returning to his stunned face. “And here I was thinking our family wasn;t like everyone else. That we were better than that. Better than this,” He said, throwing a hand out toward Senna. “I was actually proud that we weren’t like everyone else, treating their women like nothing more than expensive objects. Boy was I wrong.”

  Senna noticed how strained Rydan’s voice was. She watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists while he spoke, looking between her father and Geo standing a few feet apart.

  “Boy,” Her father said, poking a finger into Rydan’s muscular chest. “I’m warning you right now, you WILL mind your tongue or I will be forced to teach you your place. I am doing this for the good of our family. ALL of our family, your household included. There won’t be anymore hiding. No more secrets. Senna can actually live, as she’s meant to, and fulfill her role in our family.”

  “Furthermore,” Her father continued, “You will not be welcome to spend time with her alone any longer. I thought it was good for her to have someone to talk to but I can see now how wrong I was. I should’ve listened to Geo when he came to me about your feelings for her. I knew your father had planned to get a wife for you soon and figured your friendship would be temporary and harmless while I waited for her to be old enough to wed Geo. Well, that ends NOW.”

  Senna knew that was the breaking point for Rydan. She watched, as if in slow motion, as his expression turned darker and darker with each word her father spoke, like a storm brewing across the plane of his face. She took a step off the porch, arm reached out in concern, but knew she’d be too slow. Before she could take another step, Rydan had moved. She opened her mouth to yell at him, to tell him no, it wasn’t worth it, but the words never made it to her lips. She watched as Rydan raised his fist and brought it up to crash under her father’s chin. He was caught by surprise, eyes flying open in shock as he tumbled backward and crumpled on the ground. Geo moved instantly, kicking Rydan behind the knees as he was focused on his father. Rydan fell, not expecting the blow and Geo pinned him to the ground using all of his strength. Grady growled, crouching low to pounce.

  But then Senna’s father was back on his feet, blood dribbling from the side of his mouth.

  “Call off your hound or I will gut him in front of you,” Her father growled, coming to stand in front of Rydan’s face glaring up from the ground, neck strained. Rydan glared up at the man for a moment but did as he was bid, whistling low once. Grady reluctantly sat back, another growl escaping him, low and menacing. Senna moved to the side of the hound and crouched, scratching behind his ear in comfort. He didn’t acknowledge her, eyes glued to Geo, still pinning Rydan in the dirt.

  Rydan didn’t struggle as the two men rolled him over and sat him up. Geo still held his hands firmly behind his back as Senna’s father stood staring down at him, arms crossed. Then he knelt in front of him, a wicked grin coming to his face.

  “I warned you, boy,” Senna’s father said in a low, dangerous voice.

  He punched Rydan in the nose and a loud crack sounded. Senna cried out but they ignored her. Then her father stood and started landing blow after blow on Rydan’s head, face and stomach. Rydan didn’t struggle in Geo’s grasp, knowing it was futile and the two men had him in a prone position on the ground. Senna cried out with each blow, Grady tense beside her. Though obviously anxious, the hound didn’t move. His keen eyes watched every blow to his master but he obeyed the command to stay. Quiet whines escaped the hound as his master cried out from the blows, body quivering in anticipation of being called upon to defend him. But the command never came. Senna’s anger continued to build as her father beat her cousin to near unconsciousness. Rydan looked up at her as she called his name on her knees, arm still outstretched to him and tears streaming down her face. His one eye was swollen shut, lip busted and bleeding as he mouthed, ‘I’m sorry.’

  Something inside Senna broke at that moment. As she looked into her cousin’s beaten face, the one person who actually cared for her, now lying on the ground, getting beaten to a pulp for standing up for her, she felt anger flare inside like she had never felt before. It was as if time stood still and she could see clearly for the first time in her life. This was her life. Not theirs. She stood in a fluid motion, not thinking about what she was doing, letting her anger guide her. She saw Rydan’s eye widen for a second before black flame blasted from her outstretched hand. She had it now directed at her father’s back, directly in front of her. Geo didn’t notice her as he was looking at Rydan getting beat with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

  The strange black flames coiled around her arm and hand for what felt to her like a long moment, but was really less than a second, and shot out toward her father. The strike hit him square in the back. He didn’t even have time to scream as he slumped to the side, body bursting into black flame. The flames had shot a hole through his back and immediately engulfed him, killing him on impact.

  Geo and Rydan stared at the burning man in shock and disbelief. Geo fell back, letting go of Rydan as terror came over his face as he glanced up at Senna whose hand was still outstretched but free of fire. She looked into his eyes as he realized what she’d done. He scrambled back from her, trying to get away. She had never seen him, or anyone, look so scared. She was frozen, staring at the scene in front of her, knowing she did it but not comprehending how it was possible. Rydan still lay on the ground, eyes wide in shock. He didn’t try to get up as Geo scrambled away. He finally managed to get his footing and stumbled, running as fast as could toward the barn. Hearing his fading footsteps, Rydan snapped out of his shock and rolled to his side, trying to get up. Grady was there in an instant, sensing the danger to him was gone and giving the burning body a wide berth. Rydan got shakily to feet and limped to Senna who was still standing frozen and staring.

  He grasped her shoulders and shook her, trying to break her out of her stupor.

  “Senna,” He said, voice strained. “Senna, look at me.”

  She still stared at the mass of what had been her father, burning on the ground. The smell of burning flesh burned her nose, making her eyes water, but still she didn’t move. Her chest felt leaden and she could barely draw breath as she tried and failed to process what she had done.

  “Look at me!” Rydan yelled, grabbing her face and turning it to him.

  She finally looked into his bloody, swollen face as tears began to once again well in her eyes. “I-I don-n’t know,” She fumbled, sobs wracking her body. “H-how… I didn’t m-mean…”

  Rydan pulled her in a hug, crushing her against him and rubbed her back for a moment before pushing her back to arms length and looking into her eyes again.

  “Listen to me,” Rydan said, blood dripping from his mouth as he spoke, his swollen lip slurring his words slightly. “We don’t have much time. Geo had surely gone to get my father. They will bring weapons. They will KILL you Senna.”

  She stared at him as she continued sobbing, barely taking in the words but she nodded anyway.

  “You have to go and you have to go NOW,” He said, shaking her a little as he spoke. His fingers dug into her shoulders as he squeezed but she barely felt it as her mind reeled. “Run, Senna. Don’t come back. Stick to the trees. Wear men’s clothing and your hat and you RUN. Keep running until you get far, far away. Settle somewhere where they won’t hear of this. Somewhere they will NEVER find you.. Get close to and trust NO ONE until then, do you understand?”

  Senna nodded again, sobbing even harder.

  “Good,” He said, dropping his hands from her shoulders at last. “I will go to try to hold them off. I will tell them you ran down the road toward town to throw them off. I will act like I’m scared of you to get them to believe me. You go into the house and get changed out of this,” He said, gesturing toward her robes, voice dripping with disgust. “Take a small bag of food and a waterskin and go out the back and run like hell into the woods. When you get to the stream, run up the river, against the flow. It will be hard but the stream is pretty shallow until you get much farther upstream. When they don’t find you here my dad will send the hounds to track your scent. Going upstream will protect you. When they lose your scent they will guess you used the river but they will assume you went with the current because it’s easier. Don’t leave the river until it gets deep and you’re forced to.”

  Senna nodded along as Rydan spoke, trying to remember all that he said as her mind tumbled. Her stomach clenched painfully and she fought the urge to throw up. Her body shook violently, eyes darting between the burning body of her father, features now nothing but blackened ash and Rydan’s beaten face.

  “And Senna,” He said, voice cracking on her name. “LIVE. Live your life. Be free and never waste it. This world we live in will not make it easy, the odds are stacked against you. But find a way.” He grabbed her hand and brought it to his chest and squeezed. “Promise me you will find a way.”

  Tears poured down Senna’s face as she nodded again and jumped into Rydan’s arms to embrace him. She realized that this was likely the last time she would ever see him, the one person who meant the most to her. He held her for a moment but was then, too quickly, pushing her away. “Go,” He urged, turning away and limping toward the barn, the way Geo had gone. He didn’t look back as he went and Senna turned and raced into the house, heart thundering. It was by some miracle the Geo hadn’t run into Harvey and Jensen and sent them back to the house already to detain her. But more likely he probably took them with him, afraid to send them to face her and a fate like their fathers.

  She rushed around and grabbed a small leather satchel and waterskin from the wall, hung there for her to collect herbs or small creatures from their snares. As fast as she could she shoved hard bread and some random root vegetables from the table that were laying around from the previous night’s stew prep into the small bag. Then, she rushed out the back door and streaked straight for the trees as Rydan had told her, never once looking back at the only home she’d ever known, that life already part of her past.

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