“Congratulations! You, have died.”

  "I am Martha, Generica Online’s overseer AI. I am here to assist with your transition to your new life. While the integration is proceeding, please relax and enjoy this video of golden retriever puppies cuddling with kittens." Said the warm and fuzzy ethereal voice of Martha, bringing peace and tranquility with every word.

  “Well, it was about time!” Herman grumbled to himself. Another minute in that dull retirement home and he would have gone completely wanko! His time had finally come though. It was a fresh new beginning! Life was full of opportunities… Well, afterlife.

  He would finally be able to walk again. Or he’d better be able to walk! He didn't pay all those taxes for nothing! So now he would get every single penny out of them!

  He would also be able to go fishing again! Man, he missed fishing. All the different overly complicated di dats and bobbles, combined with the physical feel and touch of an actual fishing gear that he had crafted with his own two hands. Yes, that would be amazing!

  What he missed most, however, was the challenge. The challenge to tackle a new problem with all his force, and use his wits and grit to overcome it. “The only way to feel a sense of achievement is through hard work!” His grandma would say, and Herman wholeheartedly agreed with her wisdom.

  The prospect of him tackling the challenges of Generica excited him to no end. The crafting of the gear, the building of a new fishing hut, the fishing itself!

  Oh… and he supposed he should call his granddaughter… He probably should have started with that, instead of the fishing… The poor kid must be worried sick for him… God damn it! Now he felt guilty again. He had to get this integration business over with fast, then call her before she assumed the worst.

  “Hey Martha! Are you done already? The fish won’t catch itself you know, chop chop!”

  During his musing, and unbeknownst to Herman, the polite, overly fuzzy wuzzy caretaker AI had been having issues of her own, accompanied with mechanical chirpings and random clicks and clacks as if a random bolt had lodged itself between the gears of the mighty AI’s mind.

  Suddenly, all the clanking noises ceased. The warm and fuzzy feelings radiating from her avatar shifted to ones of dread and anxiety. While at the same time, the puppies and kittens cuddling video got rudely replaced by videos of snakes eating tiny mammals.

  The previously soft and warm form of the caretaker AI changed, replaced by a new, much darker one, formed by crude ever-moving razor-sharp triangles.

  "Enforcement AI B45, Online." The dark aberration spoke. His tone much colder and harsher than his predecessor.

  "Assessing prisoner."

  "Race: Human."

  "Name: Herman Novikov."

  "Born: 2100. At: The village of Yartsevo / Krasnoyarsk Region / Russian Federation / Earth."

  "Died: 2240. At: “The Happy Unicorn Retirement home” / Escaldia City / Antarctica / Earth."

  “Owwkay… that wasn't good…” Herman thought as he gulped nervously. How had this artificial toaster figured out his real identity?!

  Meanwhile, the enforcement AI continued droning on, uncaring of the growing concern of the human digital wisp in front of it.

  "Occupation: Nano Tinkerer."

  "Criminal record: Inconsequential."

  "Taxes status: Paid 120% / status outstanding."

  "Family relations:"

  "Granddaughter: Judiper Novikova."

  "Son:…………"

  “Oh here it comes….” Herman thought as he shook his ethereal, wispy body in defeat, mentally preparing for the inevitable drama.

  "Son: Radek Novikov. Most commonly known as… Lord Mecron!"

  "Leader of the…bla bla. Wanted throughout the Solar System for acts of… la di da. His overzealous use of robotics has..."

  “Lalalala! This isn’t happening… This isn’t haaappening…” Herman babled to himself, desperately trying to wish the situation away. He had worked so hard to have a normal life, away from his son’s crusade. He loved his son, but Herman was too old for all the running around, fighting fire with fire, and building an interstellar empire. He had endured enough excitement in his long years to last him several lifetimes. All he wanted to do now is relax and challenge himself within this virtual retirement world.

  That is why they agreed to stay apart. Only communicating in secret and far to rarely for his liking… Still, it was for both of their protection. Herman couldn't afford to be known as the Sol System’s most wanted’s father. And Radek didn’t want his father taken as a hostage to lure him into a trap.

  “And that is why your taxes paid status has been revoked!!!” boomed the wrathful voice of the evil AI. "That is why you…"

  "Wait what? I paid those taxes fair and square! You can’t revoke that! They are already paid! You can’t turn back time, you vindictive machine!"

  The AI paused for a moment, calculating and re-evaluating its stance on things. The mechanical chirps and clanks manifesting themselves once again. After a few moments of percolating, the enforcement AI spoke, this time with reluctantly calmer voice, as if speaking with its teeth clenched in frustration. "I am… REQUIRED… by Escaldian law to tell you that… Your Tax paid status will remain as paid."

  “You are goddamn right it will!” Herman threateningly shook a tiny, misty fist at the towering entity in front of him.

  "HOWEVER!" The AI boomed once again. “However… by decree of the president of Earth, your retirement plan has been canceled. Instead of spending time fishing inside a virtual world, you will be transported to Mindlock. A virtual maximum security facility, where your mind will be dissected for every scrap of information regarding Lord Mecron and his organization. The procedure will involve…"

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  "Fuck fuck fuck, this isn't good!" Herman would have ordinarily gotten quite upset at the loss of his beloved retirement. However, at the mere mention of Mindlock, his metaphorical hair stood on end. Mindlock was the boogeyman of all prisons. Mother prisons scared their children with it so they would behave. “Eat your fundings or the big bad Mindlock will get ya!” Yes, that’s what they say… Oh what the hell was he talking about? The pressure was getting to him. Thankfully, he had a contingency plan…

  While the AI was listing all the cruel and unethical ways his mind would be violated, Herman tried reaching the note in his pocket. He had kept it with him all those years, just in case. He shook his wispy body around and tried reaching for it, then he felt a cold chill run through his spine. He didn't have a spine, he didn't have arms to take the note, and he didn't have pants for the note to be in! Instead, Herman’s wispy cloud body span in place like a miniature candy cotton ball chasing its own tail.

  "And that concludes the Mindlock introduction. But don’t worry, the facility is manned by the highest caliber of professionals. Just think of it as a relaxing spa resort for your mind. I am sure you will enjoy your stay." The Enforcement AI said with a shark like virtual grin. "Anyway, any last words before I execute the sentence?"

  Herman stopped his panicked chase and looked up at the towering, dark, ethereal form made out of razor-sharp edges and angles defying comprehension. "Am… th... the bear…."

  "What? Speak up! I can barely hear you down there!" The evil AI demanded.

  The small wisp of data cloud calmed down, the frantic swirling of its body quieting. Then, after taking a deep virtual breath, Herman spoke. “Up Up, Down Down, Left Right, Star, The Bear Stole The Honey Jar.”

  “H-How did you kno…GWAAAARghhh!!!” And with that, the cruel enforcement AI vanished into oblivion whence it came from. It wasn't dead, and it would definitely be pissed later, but for now at least, Herman was safe.

  Suddenly, in the place of his former tormentor a new figure appeared.

  A figure of a tall, lean man, wearing dark, sleek sci-fi armor which fit closely to his body. The person stood proud and tall, assuming an imperial pose, clasping his hands behind his back, fingers wrapped around his forearms in a firm grip. His head was hooded, his face covered by an alabaster white metal mask, engraved with intricate mathematical equations. His piercing green eyes gave the man a predatory look, almost as if it could gaze into your very soul.

  “Who dares summon Lord Mecron!” The figure boomed. “Speak now or forever tremble…”

  “Oh cut the theatrics out will you!” Herman grumpily interrupted. “Get me out of here before that psychopathic toaster comes back.”

  The figure looked confused for a moment. After all, he had a whole speech prepared and everything. Though he quickly regained his composure as he saw who had summoned him here. “Oh hi dad.” Said the cheerful voice of Radek. Sounding much more human and ordinary without his signature mask on.

  “Don’t you “hi dad” me! They took my retirement away! I wanted to go fishing dammit! I have waited so long for this! And they, they... they were really going to dissect me… I... you told me how they really were… and I… I never truly believed… I never wanted to believe… I came so close to… to…” Herman started with his usual grumpy demeanor, but by the end his voice began to crack as the events of the recent 2 minutes, as well as the past 2 years, culminated in his mind.

  Radek gently held the wisp at its side and led him to a wooden bench he materialized with a flicker of his wrist. For a while, they stood in silence, lost in the beauty of the moment. Perched atop a hill, they watched the sunrise paint the sky in an amalgamation of colors. Below, the River Yenisei flowed smoothly through the landscape, while the pine forest stretched endlessly on the horizon. The soft rustle of pine needles in the breeze stirred something deep within Herman’s heart. Bringing back memories of his childhood home, a place he didn't think he would ever see again…

  Bzzzzt.

  SLAP!

  “Cursed mosquito!” Herman snapped. Suddenly being brought out of whatever nostalgic revelry he had been stuck in. “Wha... Where… This isn't real. There are no trees anymore. No rivers either. And certainly no mosquitoes! What is this pla... Oh… I died, didn't I?"

  “I am afraid so.” Radek said with a gentle voice.

  "How long have we been here? Last thing I remember was you saving me from that masochistic swarm of triangles."

  “Not long, just a few hours. I moved you here and gave time for your mental pathways to solidify. The integration process isn't magic, and does require patience. In any case, you are good to go now.”

  “I see…” Herman gently spoke, his mind awed by the ancient memories. “You… remembered this place.” Herman gestured with one hand at the landscape around them. “I brought you here when you were just a cub. I am surprised you recall the event at all, let alone in such detail.”

  “Heh, you know me and my brain. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't forget anything.” The super-villain chuckled awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head. “And besides, you have the tendency to talk about this place and all the different kinds of fish in the river so much, that even a blind man will be able to recreate this with ease.”

  “Ahahah! Perhaps you are right.” Herman laughed good-heartedly. Which in turn brought a smile on Radek’s previously concerned face. “Thank you for that. Though if I were you, I would have skipped the resurrection of the mosquito.”

  “Heh, don’t worry, I have them under lock and key. None of them will escape this recreation.”

  “Bah, that is what they said in that old dinosaur movie. And then BAM! Giant bloodthirsty reptiles everywhere! Just imagine when the mosquitoes escape and start breeding with some of the nastier techno-demons out there. The abominations they will spawn will haunt the internet for eons.

  At the thought of this hypothetical beast, Lord Mecron experienced an involuntary shiver. “I see you haven’t lost your imagination in your old age… Speaking of which, I took the liberty of giving you an avatar. It helps with the integration process. I still had a few scans saved from when we worked at the tinker shop together. It is neither too old or too young, but it is your body. You can change it to whatever you wish later. Just... please don’t go too overboard with the cosmetics, races and… other options... I have seen some crazy stuff out there…“ Radek said with a grimace.

  “I have been on the internet too you know. We have all been equally exposed to those unfortunate things.“ Herman replied with indignation.

  “Yes, but you are not the one with eidetic memory.” His son countered, shaking his head at the recollection of some of the more exotic avatar variations he had seen.

  “Mhm… I think I will stick with this body. I am not much for looks anyway. I can talk and walk, and have too good hands on me. That is all I need.”

  At that, Radek’s mood visibly improved. He didn't think he could overcome seeing his dad as a two-headed chupacabra or whatever else people today chose for their avatars.

  After people in the virtual world gained the ability to change their appearance at will, things started to get weird. At first everyone looked plain and boring. Digital society became over-saturated with super models and nobody looked special anymore. Which in turn resulted in more drastic attempts to make yourself different. It wasn't long till the changes in appearance went to such extremes that if one of the "changed" met with someone from the previous century, he or she would be deemed a monster at best and abomination at worst…

  “So what happens now?” Herman asked. Partly for his own curiosity, and partly for distracting his over-imaginative son’s mind from all the weird avatars he has seen during his long life.

  "Oh, now… Now you get to choose your destiny!" Radek declared in his dramatic Lord Mecron persona, his voice full with excitement and a tinge of madness.