> CORE_KERNEL: ACTIVE // LATENCY: 0.004ms

  UPLINK: [UNSTABLE]

  0x7FFD001: MOUNT_FS

  0x7FFD002: SOUL_INIT

  0x7FFD003: MDN_SYNC

  [LOADING...]

  TERMINAL_SESSION: 09

  GARDEN HOSES AND BULLET TRAINS

  TEMP: 104.2°C

  PRESSURE: 800PSI

  STATUS:[OVERHEAT]

  

  [ FLUIX RELAY 9/8/3/14/29/5 ]

  > BIOLOGICAL_LOG_DUMP: SUBJECT_XU

  [WARN] Internal conduits (Calcium-Class) showing 98% structural fatigue.

  [FAIL] Meridian 'Shattered Garden Hose' protocol engaged.

  [INFO] Purple_Crystal.dll loaded. Self-repair initiated.

  [NOTE] Soul-Signature currently oscillating at dangerous frequencies. Proceed with extreme caution.

  0% INTEGRITY // 100% AUDACITY

  

  Skrrr. Skkkkkkkr. Skrr—

  Skrr.

  He looked down.

  The Foundation Settling Pill was three feet away from where he’d left it, nudging itself across the warped floorboards toward the thin black seam of the closet door. Its glow pulsed faintly with each tiny sound. His stomach dropped so fast it felt like he’d missed a step on stairs.

  He lunged out of bed, palms slapping the cold wood, and scrabbled his hands over the floor, barely catching it before it slipped into the darkness.

  He sat up, clutching the warm sphere in his fist.

  He stared at it.

  He stared at his closed hand.

  …

  The thought had arrived uninvited. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to push it away. He let it sit there, because part of him already knew why it had shown up.

  He moved to the edge of his bed. The mattress sighed under his weight. Weak morning light filtered through the grime on his window, turning the room a dim, washed-out gray.

  He stared at the peeling wallpaper.

  His eyes flicked to the dark crack of his small bathroom door. The alternative crept over him like a wet blanket.The sentence didn’t finish. A future… My future… The kind where every day is just a wait for something worse to happen.

  That was the part that made him feel like he was suffocating.Memories vividly flashed through his mind.

  The taste of his own blood in a CyberSEC alley. A scavenger had pinned him by the throat over a spool of stripped copper wire he found. His vision tunneled. Then, the sickening crunch of a brick shattering against the scavenger's helmet.

  She was shaking and crying, but she grabbed Xu by his collar and dragged him to his feet anyway. Their sprint through the rain, the way his lungs had burned, how their feet shattered neon puddles. She didn’t even let go of his hand until they were a full three blocks away, until her shaking slowed enough to remember she even could.

  He smiled ruefully.

  The smell of burning grease. Taylor had hidden behind a dumpster with him, clutching a stolen, severed, hydraulic Spec arm to her chest. They thought they were going to die. But when the gang actually accepted it as payment for the kid they had chained up in the back… He remembered the way that strange kid had thrown his arms around him and buried his face into his shoulder, covered in tears as he thanked them for saving him.

  The biting cold. A winter so bitter his bones practically still ached. The three of them had huddled together under their single stolen tarp on a concrete roof as he had carefully broken rock-hard bread crust into three perfectly equal pieces. It hadn’t been enough, but watching Taylor and Lee eat theirs had made his hunger feel quieter. The delirious, exhausted laughter that filled their tarp when Lee, still freezing and starving, just couldn’t help but critique the baking technique of gutter-bread.

  and neither are they.He threw the pill into his mouth.

  01101011 0x7FFD_SYNC 10110010 0x00A1_LOCK 01110101

  [ FUCKED UP: 99.99% ]

  >>> UPLINK_THROTTLED // ENCRYPTING_PASSAGE_LOGS...

  It had already been 15 minutes.

  Nothing happened.

  Xu opened his eyes. He patted his chest.

  He stood up and began to tidy up his apartment after the chaos of the night before.

  It started subtly. A strange, tight heat waved through his stomach.

  Xu froze.

  Then, the warmth turned into a cramp. Then, the cramp turned into the distinct sensation that someone had started a flesh fire inside of him.

  Xu fell off the bed, clutching his stomach, his breath hitching. He dragged himself to his discarded pants, pulled out his phone with shaking fingers, and frantically typed into the search bar: “Ate foundaton pill at fourth stge wat happn?”

  The screen loaded.

  

Did you mean:

  Showing results for: Funeral arrangements near me

  

  Ad ·

  Omni-Clean: Bio-Hazard Removal & Upholstery...

  Did a loved one attempt ascension in the living room? We offer discreet, no-questions-asked scraping services and sub-flooring... [Expand Site]

  ?? OMNI-CLEAN

  

  ?? LIVE SUPPORT (Online)

  ASSISTANCE AIO-BOT 9000 says:

  "Hello. Due to high troubleshoting traffic, the AIO Would like to apologize for our organizations reckless oversight in estimated service capacity. We'll be back as soon as possible.

  [Chat disconnected: No Response.]

  

  WE MAKE IT LIKE

  THEY NEVER EXISTED.

  "Whether they reached the Heavens or just the ceiling fan, our industrial-grade solvents guarantee your security deposit survives."

  

  DISPATCH SCRAPER TEAM NOW

  STEP 1: ASSESS THE MESS

  What is the current physical state of the client?

  [ ] Mostly Solid (Requires heavy lifting)

  [ ] Viscous Liquid (Requires wet-vac & sponges)

  [ ] Sentient Gas (Requires exorcist & air filters)

  

  SUBMIT PRE-CHECK & PAY

  ERROR_404 SS:

  Cannot bill deceased/liquefied clients via standard STRIPE. Please revive the client to process the 15,000 CR down payment, or connect a cold wallet and pay with QI-COIN.

  

  

  Tier 1: The Scrape

  Ideal for early-stage qi explosions. Includes heavy-duty spatula work, surface wipe-down, and standard urn filling.

  

  BOOK SERVICE [ 500 CR ]

  ?? Cart Notice: Heavy-duty spatulas are currently on backorder due to an unprecedented surge in amateur alchemy. Please allow 3-36 business days for scraping. (Try not to slip).

  

  Tier 2: The Melt

  For acidic meridian failures. Includes carpet removal, sub-floor bleaching, and neutralizing a particularly bad case of "The Hammies".

  

  BOOK SERVICE [ 2,500 CR ]

  UPSELL OFFER: Do you want the toxic sludge of your loved one pressed into a commemorative gemstone? (+500 CR)

  

YES, PRESS THEM INTO A ROCK

  ERROR: Gemstone press currently clogged with previous client.

  

NO, JUST FLUSH THEM

  SUCCESS! Municipal plumbing fine (20,000 CR) added to cart.

  

  

  ? 99.9% DNA Eradication Guaranteed · ? No Police Contact · ? Certified by the Ascension Board

  

  

  maps.local-sect.org ? businesses ? funerary

  Discount Urns & Tarp Supplies (Open 24/7)

  Buy 2 get 1 free on all industrial-grade Tupperware and reinforced trash bags. We do not ask questions. Cash or Spirit Stones only... [Expand Site]

  Discount Urns & Tarp Supplies

  ★★★★★4.8(1,204 Reviews)OPEN 24/7

  

  ?? CALL STORE

  > Ringing...

  > [CLICK]

  "Look, if you're the cops, we sell flower pots. If you're a cultivator, bring exact cash to the back door. Don't knock."

  > [DIAL TONE]

  

  ?? GET DIRECTIONS

  ROUTING ERROR:

  Your primary route intersects with an active Tribulation Cloud. Rerouting through available Heightway lines. Estimated survival rate: 42%.

  [ CANCEL NAVIGATION ]

  

  ?? Click to Purchase Items

  

  10-Gallon Opaque Tupperware

  [ 15 SS ]

  Air-tight seal. Perfect for preventing soul-leakage.

  

  + ADD TO CART

  > ERROR: Limit 3 per customer to prevent accidental mass Necromancy. Please adjust quantity.

  

  

  Industrial Sludge-Bags (3mm thick)

  [ 5 SS ]

  Select Variant:

  Standard

  Screaming-Soul Suppressant (SOLD OUT)

  

  + QUICK BUY NOW

  > SUCCESS: Transaction confirmed. A hooded courier will drop these in your alley at midnight. Do not make eye contact.

  

  

  

  ??? MAP VIEW (Click to Activate Qi-Radar)

  ??

  STORE

  ?? QI-RADAR ACTIVE: HAZARDS DETECTED

  ??

  STORE

  ??

  FLESH-FIRE

  ?

  TRIBULATION

  

  Recent Reviews

  

  ? WRITE A REVIEW

  > SYSTEM ALERT: Your IP address is currently restricted by the Imperial Censor. Please deposit 500 Spirit Stones to unlock free speech.

  

  ★★★★★ - Daoist_Steve (2 days ago)

  "Dave exploded. The heavy-duty tarps held up perfectly. Didn't leak on the downstairs neighbors at all. 10/10 will shop again when my other roommate tries to breakthrough."

  ★★☆☆☆ - Grieving_Sister (1 week ago)

  "The standard urn was way too small for all the sludge, had to upgrade to the Tupperware. Also the cashier judged me."

  

  ? View Owner Response (1)

  Store Owner: We didn't judge you for the sludge. We judged you because you tried to pay with a LIVING SPEAR that started whispering to the cashier and killed 6 customers. Read the sign by the register: CASH OR SPIRIT STONES ONLY. We don't accept haunted weapons.

  

  

  Sponsored Results

  

  Ad · www.omnicorp-pharma.net/sustenance-7

  SUSTENANCE-SEVEN?: The Pill For ...

  45 minutes on "chewing" when you could be scripting? Sustenance-Seven? suppresses the "hunger" centers of the brain while providing a mild... [Enter Site]

  [ OMNICORP PHARMA ]

  LOG IN / REGISTER

  ?? SUSTENANCE-SEVEN?

  Tired of eating? Why waste 45 minutes on "chewing" when you could be scripting? Sustenance-Seven? suppresses the "hunger" centers of the brain while providing a mild, long-lasting euphoria!

  

  + View Mandatory Side Effects & Legal Waivers

  WARNING: May cause phantom chewing, temporary loss of object permanence, or the belief that your organs are "plotting a coup." By purchasing, you waive OmniCorp Pharma's liability for spontaneous dental combustion. Do not take if you are currently wheelchair-bound.

  

  ?? ADD TO SECURE CART [ 49.99 CR ]

  CHECKOUT: Sub-Prime Financing

  Pay over 72 months at 66% APY. Your soul will be held as collateral in the event of default.

  CONFIRM SOUL BINDING

  

  

  [ Toggle Sponsored Results ]

  

  

  forum.ascension-net.io ? y/EpicAscensionFails

  Yeet-It — My Cousin Ate A High-tier Pill And...

  Within five minutes, his pores started leaking a smell like burnt rubber and expired ham. Ten minutes in, he started screaming that he... [Read Thread]

  y/EpicAscensionFails

  + Join Sect

  ▲

  14.2k

  ▼

  Posted by u/SectTrash99 ? 6 years ago

  ?? URGENT: COUSIN ATE ACCUMULATION-TIER PILL BY ACCIDENT

  "Guys, my cousin just found a pale gold pill in my uncle’s desk. He’s a Stage 3 Zero. He ate it thinking it was a lemon drop. Within five minutes his pores started leaking a smell like burnt rubber and expired ham. Ten minutes in, he started screaming that he could “hear the color purple.” Now he’s just... melted into the carpet? Does anyone know if this is reversible? Help would seriously be appreciated!"

  

  ?? Load Comments (402)

  PathologyPete[Verified Medic]? 5.1k pts

  "Is it reversible? Technically, yes, if you have a Grade-A vacuum and a high-fidelity centrifuge. Practically? No. At Stage 3, his body didn't just overflow, it likely shattered on an atomic level. The “color purple” he was hearing was likely his own neurons firing at 400% capacity before they liquified. My advice: scrap the carpet. The smell of expired ham never really leaves the subflooring. (Personal Experience.)"

  

  [+] Comment hidden by moderators (Downvoted below threshold). Click to expand.

  GutterSage_X? -432 pts

  "Wait, if he’s already melted, is his uncle’s desk still available? Asking for a friend who needs a new setup. Also, tell your cousin that “hearing the color purple” can actually be a Live Resonance breakthrough phenomenon—so, hey, tell him congrats on his success! Or, well, at least tell the carpet. Whatever’s left of him."

  

  BladeGrip88? 3.8k pts

  "Lmao another one. Why do people keep their high-tier pills next to the candy? This is like the fourth “lemon drop” incident this month. OP, if he’s still bubbling, try to scoop him into a jar. Sometimes the resulting sludge has enough residual Qi to sell to a local Fertilizer-Sect for a few credits. Might as well make the funeral costs back."

  

  

  

  med.cult-web.org ? pathology ? qi-overdose

  Qi Overdose: Signs, Symptoms, and Pathological...

  Spontaneous Combustion (Flesh-Fire). Rapid oxidation of intestinal linings as the Essence rejects the host's biology. 10–15 mins: Hyper... [Examine Symptoms]

  ? CULT-MED WEB

  Medical Peer-Reviewed by: Mortician-Disciple Vane, MD (Martial Death), The AIO - Inquisitor Sasha, & Post-Mortem Ascension Group

  Clinical Overview: The subject has induced a catastrophic Systemic Meridian-Vessel Overpressure Event.

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  Interactive Pathological Progression:

  

+ Phase 1: 0–5 Mins (Click to Reveal)

  Acute Psychological Denial. Stage 1 Trauma Response; often characterized by a sudden urge to "clean the apartment" or pretend nothing is wrong.

  

+ Phase 2: 5–10 Mins (Click to Reveal)

  Internal Spontaneous Combustion (Flesh-Fire). Rapid oxidation of intestinal linings as the Foundational Essence rejects the host's low-density qi storage biology.

  

+ Phase 3: Terminal Collapse (Click to Reveal)

  Hyper-Viscous Impurity Discharge & Total Collapse. Commonly referred to as "The Ooze." Reality takes hold. Host typically transitions from "Cultivator" to "Sludge."

  

  Palliative Care: Relocate patient to a waterproof, non-absorbent tarp. Avoid contact with professional Healers to prevent bankruptcy of surviving kin.

  

  Then came the ooze.

  The first sign was like fire. Thick, viscous black sludge began to pour out of his pores. He knew that expelling impurities was normal for a stage advancement, but this wasn't a comedic little puddle. This was an extreme, horrifying volume of mass. It looked like an oil rig had catastrophically failed inside his veins. The black ooze saturated his clothes and rapidly began staining his new sheets, pooling into the floorboards.

  Xu coughed aggressively, sputtering black liquid from his lungs.

  He clutched his throat.

  He was drowning from the inside out.

  Through the blinding haze of pain, a memory sparked.

  Xu dragged his heavy, sludge-covered mass across the floorboards, leaving a thick black snail-trail behind him. He reached the underside of the desk.

  A hand went up and over the desk, feeling around.

  COUGH!

  More sludge, thicker this time.

  Xu kicked the bottom of his desk, sending it across the room and through his window.

  The black box had flown across the room and landed next to the closet.

  Click.

  The closet door slightly swung open. The spear came out, beginning to wrap around the crystal like a hook, but then its tip pointed at Xu.

  It “looked” at Xu.

  Xu looked at it.

  Click.

  It left the crystal.

  His vision had already vignetted much too far. He could barely make out its glow.

  He threw his arm forward as a desperate last attempt, blood bursting out of his popping veins.

  The moment his fingers closed around it, the white-hot pain was violently overwritten by something worse.

  An itch.

  It was completely overwhelming. Every single micrometer of his skin, every muscle fiber, every cell of bone marrow felt like it was being aggressively scrubbed by steel wool. Xu thrashed on the floor, biting his own arm to keep from screaming, scratching wildly at his chest, his arms, his legs. It was maddening, all-consuming agony.

  And then, slowly, it began to subside.

  Xu lay panting through his nose, entirely coated in globs of black grime, clutching the purple crystal to his chest. His arm had healed into his teeth.

  He waited.

  He didn't explode.

  “HOLY SHIT,” Lee had entered through where his desk had left.

  01101011 0x7FFD_SYNC 10110010 0x00A1_LOCK 01110101

  [ IRRITATION: 99.0% ]

  >>> UPLINK_THROTTLED // ENCRYPTING_PASSAGE_LOGS...

  Twenty minutes and a very aggressive shower later, Xu sat on his knees in front of Lee.

  “What the fuck, Xu?”

  Lee held the bridge of his nose as he exhaled slowly.

  “I don’t know whether to be angry that you were incredibly stupid and lived, or angry that you made me come into your room again. I JUST promised myself I wouldn’t.”

  Xu’s eyes fell to the back heels of Lee’s shoes.

  Black sludge had stained them.

  Lee glanced towards the bathroom.

  “It clogged the bathtub? Yeahno, we’re leaving.”

  01101011 0x7FFD_SYNC 10110010 0x00A1_LOCK 01110101

  [ DISGUST: 100.00% ]

  >>> UPLINK_THROTTLED // ENCRYPTING_PASSAGE_LOGS...

  Lee led Xu across the housing sector to Taylor’s door after stopping for coffee.

  Lee rapped on the door seven times at varying intervals.

  “Come in!” Taylor yelled from inside.

  Lee walked in and then gestured with one arm for Xu to do the same.

  Xu did not walk. He strutted.

  “Behold,” Xu announced, stopping in front of Taylor with his hands on his hips. He raised his arms and flexed, intentionally showcasing his new, slightly larger muscles. He was not subtle about it.

  “The teacup has become a bucket.”

  Lee choked on his coffee. He stared at Xu, his face cycling rapidly through genuine surprise, profound confusion, and anger.

  “Did you work out or something? I don’t get it.”

  “I might not have, but breakfast did.” Xu bragged, wriggling his eyebrows with a massive grin.

  Taylor raised an eyebrow. She looked at him for a moment.

  “What are you—”

  “HE ATE THE FUCKING PILL.” Lee rudely interjected>

  “HE WHAT!?”

  Taylor and Lee locked eyes.

  PING!

  Noodles painted the floor.

  …

  Without a word, she reached into her jacket, pulled out her phone, and made a call. She didn't explain who she was calling. She just gave a room number and hung up.

  “Who was that?” Xu asked, his grin faltering.

  Taylor didn't answer.

  “Lee, what's happening?” Xu asked.

  Lee sipped his coffee, but didn’t break eye contact.

  Xu turned to leave. “You know what, I’m just gonna go get breakfast—”

  Taylor’s hand shot out, grabbing his shoulder. The grip was like an industrial vise grip. She forced him down onto a nearby stone bench.

  “Sit, you’ve already had breakfast, silly,” Taylor commanded. She flashed him a smile.

  “You're kinda being a party pooper…” Xu muttered.

  Taylor stared at him.

  Ten minutes later, a Spec arrived.

  Knock. Knock.

  He wore a crisp, utilitarian uniform and carried a heavy, reinforced medical case. He was entirely professional. He had the distinct vibe of an overly thorough man, specifically to extort the concept of an hourly rate.

  He didn't introduce himself. He just walked in, set his case on the table, pulled out a handheld scanning device, and pointed it at Xu.

  “What uh… whatcha got there?” Xu questioned.

  A hum filled the air. The Spec looked at the readings on his screen.

  He frowned.

  He reset the device and scanned Xu again.

  “Well,” the Spec said, his voice a dry monotone. “Stage reads as Ninth.”

  Xu looked at Taylor and wriggled his eyebrows once more.

  “However, body development is far past what would be typical at the peak of any of the Zero stages. Your physical constitution is roughly equal to that of an Extreme Stage Resonance cultivator. You are, medically speaking, an abnormally exceptional super freak. Unfortunately, physical strength doesn't count for much at higher realms.”

  Smugness had practically embossed itself into Xu’s face. His eyebrows began to somehow wriggle even harder.

  Xu grinned at Lee. “Hear that? Super exceptional.”

  “He also said freak.” Lee countered.

  Taylor seemed unamused.

  “I’m not finished,” the Spec said. He tapped his screen. “When something is this weird. It’s rarely only a single thing.”

  The device hummed at a different pitch. The Spec looked at the results for a long, quiet moment. He adjusted his glasses. He looked at Xu, then back at the screen.

  “Yep, your—”

  “Even more exceptional than you thought?” Xu couldn’t help himself.

  “Not exactly. Your meridians are shredded,” the Spec said flatly.

  The silence in the room was absolute.

  “Strained?” Lee asked quietly.

  “No, no, Lee. Sprained.” Xu corrected.

  “Shredded,” the Spec re-corrected.

  “Not strained. Not sprained. Not underdeveloped. Shredded. To use a metaphor you might understand: it looks like someone tried to force a bullet train through a garden hose.”

  Xu’s eyebrows let out their final, sad movements.

  Taylor crossed her arms. Her knuckles were white. “When?”

  “Recently,” the Spec replied, packing up his scanner. “The tissue damage is incredibly fresh. Sometime in the last twelve hours.”

  “What does shredded meridians mean, like practically?” Lee asked carefully.

  The Spec sighed, shifting into his rehearsed lecture voice. “Zero stage cultivation is purely physical development. It is the process of building the body and the meridian network to the point where external Qi can safely exist inside it. The meridians are the infrastructure Qi flows through once the Priming is crossed and you reach the Resonance Realm.”

  He looked at Xu, his eyes devoid of pity.

  “Without functional meridians, the Resonance Realm is impossible. Your body can develop to the edge of the threshold indefinitely. But it will never cross it. Not until the meridians heal.”

  The Spec looked back at his tablet. “This is highly inconsistent. Normal cultivation methods that produce this level of physical development at your age… actually, those don’t exist to my knowledge, but the closest among them do not produce this kind of catastrophic meridian damage. This pattern doesn't match any known cultivation deviation or overdraft condition I’ve ever seen. Even in the most extreme cases.”

  Xu felt the cold dread pooling in his stomach. “So I’m stuck?”

  “Thankfully, no,” the Spec said dryly. “If this were 10 years ago, then yes, unquestionably. Luckily, you just have to take medicine for a little while. It’s a highly regulated Spec-grade medical serum. You just need to apply online and show up for an in-person, and I'm sure they'll approve it given your condition. Your meridians will eventually knit themselves back together, you’ll be as good as new.”

  “How long?” Taylor asked.

  “Only two years,” the Spec said.

  The Spec packed the rest of his equipment into his case. He told Taylor he would send the full invoice and report to her secure channel.

  He turned, walked away, and took the noise with him.

  Even Xu’s mind was silent.

  “Okay,” Lee said casually, breaking the silence. “Could be worse. Let’s see the damage.” Clicking sounds rang out from Lee’s phone.

  His eyes shot up.

  “How much?” Taylor said instantly.

  “Too much,” Lee replied.

  “Nothing is too much if it’s for—”

  “Taylor. It’s too much.”

  Silence swallowed the room.

  …

  “But… my trust fund unlocks in six months,” Lee mused, rubbing his chin. “I… could leverage it early through a shadow broker. The interest rates are predatory, and my father would likely have me assassinated from the great beyond, but could cover it. Well… half of it.”

  Xu’s stomach wrapped around his heart.

  He was drowning in guilt. They would ruin themselves for him, and they wouldn't even hesitate.

  “Did you know?” Xu asked, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears.

  Taylor stopped talking to Lee. She looked at him. “I suspected something was wrong. I didn't know for sure.”

  Xu looked at Lee. “What does this mean for the Inner Sect?”

  He hesitated. “The entry requirement for the Inner Sect is ninth-stage body development.”

  Lee slightly shrugged. “You do have ninth-stage body development, so.... The initial filter doesn't scan meridians...”

  “That gets him through the door, yes,” Taylor said, her voice hard. “It doesn't solve the problem on the other side of it. Inner Sect training is Resonance Realm training. Xu has no path to Resonance. They will find out immediately. And by the time he heals… Ninth Stage Zero at age 17. Not too special?”

  Xu asked the only question left. “So then what do I do?”

  Nobody answered immediately.

  Xu looked down at his hands. He thought about the fight with Cai. The way his body had known exactly where to be before his mind had finished deciding to move it.

  He thought about the eye embedded in his leg. When he had showered to wash the ooze off, he had noticed it had grown eyelashes.

  He thought about the Spear in his closet. The Pit in the corner. The purple crystal in the box. His mutation that had been accelerating, quietly and violently, underneath everything since long before he understood what it was.

  …

  “There has to be a way,” Xu said softly.

  Neither Taylor nor Lee argued with him.

  “We’ll figure it out,” Taylor said.

  She didn't even look like she believed herself.

  “I’ll ask around,” Lee added, adjusting his collar.

  “I’ll even search deeper web archives.”

  Nobody asked what the actual plan was. They all knew the truth.

  The plan was that there was no plan.

  SYSTEM STATUS: UNSTABLE // NEURAL LINK ACTIVE

  AIO-OS v.9000.4.2

  DECRYPTING

  > ACCESS GRANTED BY USER: Sasha

  I hope everyone enjoyed the interactive Web and the digital graveyard you found all the hidden links.

  While Xu is busy being an "Exceptional Super Freak" with the internal plumbing of a shattered garden hose, feel free to dive back into the reviews for Discount Urns.

  Shoutout to Grieving_Sister for trying to barter with a haunted spear. Honestly, we’ve all been that desperate.

  Hey... I tried, but even I can't make myself believe that.

  CURRENCY ADVISORY

  "It’s strictly Cash, Spirit Stones, or Qi-Coin only in this economy."

  [ FAIR WARNING ]: If you clicked "Purchase" or "Soul Binding" on anything and the system said Success?

  I will be coming to personallycollect those Spirit Stones or Credits. I’ve got an Omni-Clean Scraper Team to pay.

  

  DO NOT CLICK

  > ERROR: UPLINK_TERMINATION_FAILED.

  > SOURCE: AIO-Bot 9000 Interface

  > STATUS: IP_TRACED_SUCCESSFULLY

  "I can see you scrolling. Why are you interested in funeal arrangements. You wouldn't happen to be a Dice would you?

  Stay where you are. A scraper team is already in your quadrant."