Capital headquarters was a crowded, chaotic mess at all times. Especially so due to the war with the Dhrak empire to the west. Yet the only person that was calm and mostly unbothered by the chaos was the ever so tranquil stone in a raging river, Ren. She was wearing a purple kimono with an orange sash. There were violet flowers designed on the kimono. She calmly drank a wooden cup of green tea. Her katana was still by her side. She sat in a wooden chair in a beige hallway near a rounding corner of heavy foot traffic. Admin staff, squires, knights, officers, and other government officials passed on by like diligent worker bees. She was sat by a wooden door with a sign that read: General Argos de Castile Gonzales.

  Ren looked perpetually disinterested in everyone and everything, though this was all an act out of years of self-isolation and being constantly let down. She only wanted to be alone and to be out fighting. Instead, she was to be here in headquarters to explain her past actions.

  She wondered if her being distant and never showing emotion to her men dying was detrimental to her. She wanted to know how to be more open and caring whilst maintaining respect as a leader. She had no clue. She remembered her old family and her intensely stoic father. A feeling of anger welled up along with unbridled sadness. She stared at the wall in front of her disassociating in order to cope with her current feelings.

  “Just like father said,” Ren thought to herself. “Suppress and cut out the fat that is emotion. It’s what holds everyone back… Fuck that bastard… He wasn't wrong.”

  A lot of the people passing by whispered rumors of her. A handful of women were gossiping about how "stone-cold" Ren was and how she "felt nothing" when her men died. Ren was used to the harsh rumors said about her. She paid them no mind.

  Most of the knights, footmen, and squires all saluted her as they walked by. Ren would give a casual nod of recognition to them like that of a bored security guard. If ever one of them came by with a mechanical or wooden prosthetic or very obvious injuries sustained in battle, then she would salute back out of respect.

  She viewed those with serious injuries from war as being those of true strength and honor. Everyone else was an afterthought to her. As for the officers of lower rank than her passing by, they were better off being nonexistent in her eyes. She viewed them as inexperienced, rich kids who only cared for their status instead of being true warriors and good leaders. Though she would be remiss to say that some officers were exceptions.

  A few younger officers fresh from the academy walked by and expected a salute from her. Ren ignored them coldly. The first two quietly moved on not caring. One hotheaded young officer turned around to say something snarky only for the other two officers to grab him by his gambeson collar. The hotheaded one yelled out, “What’s the deal? She should salute us!”

  “Shh! Are you stupid?”

  “What?”

  “She is of a higher rank than you and all of us combined. She has an oak leaf insignia on her katana handle. She is the ‘Ghost’ man!”

  “Ghost? You mean…”

  “Yes! That one! She is the best swordsman in the land. Expert demon slayer. She can kill us like that!"

  "Why is she a 'Ghost' then?"

  "Her last mission resulted in a whole platoon getting wiped out by a few demons. She marched them to their deaths and she never flinched or showed remorse once! This is her third lost platoon, man. That’s why!”

  “Oh shit,” the young officer said meekly.

  He was going to apologize; however, Ren finished her cup of tea and threw it at him. He nearly fell catching the cup. She lit a cigarette and said staring at the wall in front of her, “Thanks dear. Can you throw it away for me?”

  “Um,” the young man responded unsure of what to say. “Uh, okay… Sir… I mean Ma’am! Major – sir! Ma’am!”

  “Thank you, dear… Also, it was twenty one demon knights. Not a few.”

  The other two young officers grabbed him apologizing to Ren and took him away from her expeditiously. They loudly ran up the stairs shoving admin staff out of the way. She leaned back blowing smoke circles into the air with annoyed boredom. She finished her cigarette in an ashtray built on the top of a small waste bin by the general’s door to the right of her.

  She sighed thinking to herself, “Please god, let’s get this reprimand over and done with… I’m craving doughnuts.”

  The general’s door flung open causing a loud bang against the wall that startled everyone including Ren. A cute, half-elf assistant with short, blonde hair in a messy bob, wearing the standard issue navy blue admin uniform with a mini skirt burst out from the door with over compensating exuberance. She was holding a note pad that was barely in her grasp. She blushed for a second and tried to adjust herself. Ren sighed with a thin smile at her.

  She excitedly said to Ren, “Hello! Good to see you again! My so beautiful! Love that kimono on you.”

  “Hey, Shari.”

  “How go’s it, love?”

  “Same stuff as usual. You?”

  “Hectic day and all the anxiety in the world. You know? The war is chaos and so is here,” Shari said blushing as a bead of sweat dripped down her left temple.

  Ren noticed this and her eyebrow shot up curiously. Shari quickly brushed her hair behind her ears and straightened up as her toes tapped the ground rapidly.

  Ren sighed and said as warmly as she could, “You’re doing good, girl. Relax.”

  “Thanks! Needed that honestly. Overwhelmed, but nothing major… Major. Ha! Well, except him of course… Sorry! Very scattered right now. He’s not happy of course. Sorry!”

  “He wants to see me now?”

  “Oh yes… YES! I mean… Yes, the general would like to see you now,” Shari said almost dropping her notepad trying to sound professional. “Oh yes! One more quick thing. Do you want coffee, tea, biscuits… Doughnuts perhaps? One more night of… Closeness after the meeting with him and once we get off work? I miss our nights.”

  “Not tonight, girl… Chocolate glazed doughnut is fine, Shari. Thank you.”

  “On it,” Shari said happily as she sprinted down the hall running over a custodian and shoving a group of knights down a small set of stairs that led to the second floor.

  Ren said to herself, “Bless her… Wait… She only offers me food if things are…”

  “REN KOMATSU!”

  “Shit!”

  “Come in,” General Argos said loudly in a deep baritone.

  Ren entered doing her best to remain calm as she straightened herself up and carried her katana in her left hand. She was preparing herself mentally for another harsh tongue lashing. She was used to these type of meetings; however, she always had that lingering fear that everyone gets when their boss suddenly demands a meeting with them in private. She was thinking of what type of punishment detail she would be given.

  The general’s office was spacious and lavish. Mahogany walls, green carpet with gold embroidery, warm arcane-powered lighting, leather chairs and couches, fire place with a white marbled mantle, a secretary’s desk with stacks of papers and books, and lastly a large window into the building’s courtyard from the third floor. Ren sat in one of the leather chairs in front of the massive, red-orange wood desk. Her katana was gently placed on the chair next to her. Argos was reading over a report Ren wrote a while back. Ren saw the notebook and her pupils narrowed anxiously.

  General Argos was a man of strong stature. Black hair with streaks of grey on his sides. A salt and peppered beard. Kind, brown eyes sunken deep behind a constantly worried brow and crow’s feet. He wore a navy blue, double breasted jacket with a red sash draped over him. Just behind him was a great sword and brass knuckles with spikes on the end mounted to the wall. On the wall were arcane-magic-created pictures. One was of him in armor with a bunch of footmen in a field. Another was of him with his family just outside of his house. The last one was of him and Ren when she was a teenager just outside of the academy with Ren in graduation robes looking confused by whatever was taking the picture. Argos was resting his hand on her shoulder like a proud parent.

  His weathered, meaty hands delicately held the thin report as he slowly put down his reading glasses next to a pile of files and books on his right. He slid the blood stained notebook to his left. He looked at Ren and said, “I’m not going yell this time.”

  “Not true.”

  “Anyway… I’m finding it rather odd that every time we meet it’s always about how you and your platoon end up getting killed or if you pissed off another noble or if you are taking responsibility for one of your own subordinate’s fuck ups in order to protect them… Care to explain?”

  “Explain the report – I mean, the last mission in detail or respond to your question, sir?”

  “REN,” he answered tersely startling Ren.

  For a second, she felt like a kid getting scolded by a principal as she instantly sat straight up. Argos realized this and his apologetic eyes closed for a moment as he rubbed his temples. Ren relaxed noticing his response.

  He said in a calmer voice, “Ren… Being called a ‘ghost’ is not a good thing. Especially as a major… This is another example of that.”

  “It doesn’t bother me, sir.”

  “Good to know. I’m happy the demon presence was dealt with.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Ren said as she was pulling a sealed letter from her pocket. “I also want to mention…”

  “However,” he said cutting her off. “Losing a certified and experienced war mage, a captain, two lieutenants, and a cleric along with your whole platoon is not what you would call acceptable losses. I know that you and your platoon were constantly harassed by the demon scourge for the past few months out there; however, I expected at least more of them to still be alive.”

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  “They were inexperienced and fresh from training, sir. Fighting demons as their first mission is not ideal.”

  “Command makes the decisions! A four star general approved of that mission and as a major and soldier of this army you are to obey and follow those orders even if it’s not ideal… Anything else you care to expound to this, major?”

  “…”

  “Charging recklessly head on with a band of demon knights is a good way to end up dead! How many damn times have we been through this, Ren? HOW MANY!”

  “I… We were ambushed and… Sir. We tracked them down and engaged. I believe it was necessary…”

  “It was not necessary, Ren… Just because your reputation and military career shows a great aptitude for honor and determination does not mean you have the right to waste away good men, experienced or not, with the way you command! UNDERSTOOD,” Argos yelled slamming his fist on the desk that echoed out into the hallway.

  “Sir… Understood,” Ren replied quietly looking slightly away with tiniest hint of shame. “Understood. Will never happen again. I’m sorry. I take full responsibility.”

  “Now,” Argos sighed as he popped his neck and took a minute to calm down. “How many times have we had this talk? There’s only so much I can do to keep Royal Command from raining down fire on you.”

  “A few too many, sir… I’m sorry,” Ren said retreating into herself. “I’m sorry.”

  Argos felt like a father in this moment instead of a two star general. He looked back at the one picture of Ren and him and he sighed tiredly.

  He said warmly, “It’s not your fault for their deaths… Pinche demons are always tricky. Plus, a valiant effort in tracking them down and killing them in the end… Tell me one thing, Ren… Did you get to know your men this time?”

  Ren immediately thought back of Thomas and his death. She put the letter back in her pocket. She suddenly remembered when she was a little girl being trained by her biological father. Her father was a tough and cruel man who drilled into Ren that weakness and showing emotion will lead to her death. She had be “perfect, unrelenting, and precise” with every attack in order to win even if it meant sacrificing your allies according to her father.

  Argos noticed Ren’s silence and asked tenderly, “You know this isn’t Odai anymore? You can be honest, Ren.”

  “I…”

  “Okay... It was noted by one of the medics who picked you and the bodies up was how one of the fallen knights… A, um give me a second… Sir Thomas Caldwell, age 18, youngest son of Ambassador Caldwell, was found with his arms crossed over his chest with a blue flower in his hands. The medic also notes how out of all the bodies, this one seemed to be at peace with a faint smile. It’s as if someone was there to comfort him in his last moments… I can only assume you know of this, yes?”

  “…”

  “Well done, Ren… I am proud of you and so is the ambassador,” Argos said in a way that only a caring father could.

  Ren relaxed and adjusted her kimono. She wanted to smile at his remark, but forced herself to remain professional. She asked curiously, “Is that all you wanted to see me for?”

  “No.”

  “Is it because I disrespected another officer who happens to be related to a politician or noble again?”

  “No not that, damnit.”

  “Is it because of the last mission and how it turned out?”

  “No! It’s clearly not that. We just about wrapped that up.”

  “Is it because…”

  “Now you’re just getting under my skin on purpose.”

  “Guilty,” Ren smirked. “Can’t help it, sir.”

  “Anyway,” Argos said tiredly hiding a laugh behind his hand. He looked out his window for a moment and clasped both his hands together before looking over at Ren. “You are to be assigned to a new squad.”

  “Another suicide squad as punishment? Again? Sir, with all due respect…”

  “With all due respect, Ren,” Argos retorted. “This is not what you think it is.”

  Ren leaned forward in her chair and stared daggers at Argos as if she was trying to see what his plan was. A bad feeling boiled in her gut as her eyes widened with a mix of intrigue and annoyed anger.

  Argos continued, “You’re not to be placed into a platoon of standard knights or footmen again. You won’t be going on long patrols along the capital walls or anything boring like that."

  “Then what, sir? More demons? I'm getting tired of demons.”

  “You will find out... Now... Someone from SF made a personal request to have you transferred over to them. Royal Command approved.”

  “I’m not doing recon work.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s,” Argos said as he was trying to explain simply.

  Shari busted through the door happily like an excited dog holding 5 boxes of doughnuts from the local shop nearby. She excitedly handed a plate sized chocolate doughnut to Ren along with a pile of napkins. The rest of the boxes were placed on small tables Shari got the other secretaries to pitch in for.

  Shari whipped around and said happily, “Sorry for interrupting talks, sir. I got doughnuts! I know you wanted just one chocolate doughnut, but then I started overthinking about what if I got the wrong one and what size and so I thought why not get you a whole bunch and share with the floor! Also sir, this is the bill. My bad!”

  “Okay… Thanks Shari, but…”

  “It’s okay, sir! I told everyone on the floor,” Shari replied happily.

  Ren and Argos both looked shocked and the feeling of doom loomed over both of them. Soon a hoard of admin staff, knights, and so forth barged in like ravenous wolves. Argos swiftly grabbed Ren as she was mid-bite with her oversized doughnut as they both went through a hidden wall door that led into another office with a hidden exit door to the break room.

  Ren made sure her katana was nearby. Argos adjusted his clothes, made sure his weapons were behind his less immaculate office chair, and then sighed in relief. He said exhaustively, “That girl means well, but DIOS MIO! What hurricane of emotions!”

  “Hmm-mph,” Ren responded with a mouthful of chocolate doughnut staining her face.

  Argos waited patiently until she finished munching away at the doughnut and when she cleaned her face. He handed her a cup of water that she instantly gulped down. She finished and gestured with her hands to continue the important talk.

  He said in a serious tone, “What I was trying to say is that your new squad is a small band of specially selected SF knights and other members from other units tasked with only the most serious of missions… Your new squad is wanting you because the Emperor has made an order in regards to the current war with the western alliance forces.”

  Ren remained silent, but intrigued.

  “So Ren… This request is not one you can deny. It’s important. Royal Command has signed off on it. You are to be assigned to… Let me read this… Task Force 13. 2nd Regiment. Naga squad. You are hereby a newly sworn in major of the ‘Hero Squadron’ as of now. You’ll be second in command to a Commander Shoyo Yoshiro. They expect to see you within the next week. He was very adamant about having you. You will be assigned your mission once you link up with them. That is all I am allowed to say.”

  “Okay," she responded. "Anything else?”

  “Here’s the dossier for your new squad, where they’re located, personalities, everything,” Argos said placing a large, leather binder in front of her. “They’re stationed at a Kino City west of here. Lynx Base. Last major city before hitting the front lines on the border. The carriage-train should be fine for transport. Here’s the first class ticket along with room and board info for it. All at the government’s expense. You’re being transported as if you are an ambassador of the Emperor. A company of royal guards will accompany you on the ride along with other political persons as to not draw too much attention. One of the few privileges we officers get, eh?”

  “You’re spoiling me,” Ren sarcastically replied in a dry tone. “But why in this way? Is this supposed to mean something else? I’ll be fine if I traveled in simple carriage myself.”

  “Ren,” Argos said tenderly walking around the desk. He twiddled his thumbs a bit.

  Ren felt nervous internally, but kept up her stoic demeanor. Inside she was flustered and annoyed. This felt like a punishment for her from someone hire up than Argos. He was only a two-star general. She figured it had to be certain higher ranking generals who ordered him to do this, so she rationalized to herself. Her new squad were to "be lambs to slaughter" she thought.

  Argos looked at her and said, “I pulled some strings with help from Ambassador Caldwell so that your travel will not be uncomfortable. It’s his private carriage room that he’s lending to you because of your… Sensitivity with his son. It’s his way of thanking you.”

  “He doesn't have to. I appreciate it, but why are you doing this as well, sir?”

  “I’m doing this as my silent way of letting you decompress from all the fighting you have done so far as well. You tend to hide everything from everyone. You suppress every emotion and I know that you are burning inside because of it.”

  Ren looked away momentarily knowing he was right.

  “Being in the army you tend to forget that we’re still human. We still feel. We rationalize and internalize these feelings and call them emotions. We turn them into memories. We give them reasoning and meaning when things are complicated and precious. Things we can’t forget as we keep remembering. Things that haunt us, make us long for, make us cry, laugh, yell at the sky; all of that… It’s not a weakness to take a break… It’s not a weakness to admit that we care so much for others that it hurts greatly… It’s love.”

  “I see.”

  “I wanted you to know that,” Argos said empathetically. “I want you to be okay is all.”

  “Thank you,” Ren replied with a microscopic smile.

  She saw the pain in his eyes when he said it. She knew deep down Argos always meant well. He was the first man she ever met who was kind and understanding. She remembered when they first met 10 years ago. She was delinquent teenager who was constantly in trouble with the drill instructors at the academy. Back then, Argos was only a major acting as the commandant of the Junior Officer Training Academy.

  Ren was the only orphan there who lived in the dorms every holiday. She was 14 then. Same stoic and rebellious attitude. Her issues were that she would always question the DI’s or teachers along with finishing multiple fights with the other students. Argos only had a thin mustaches then. The wrinkles around his eyes weren’t as prominent as they were now. He never scolded her whenever she was brought into his office. He always tried to understand her point of view on every matter. He looked out for her. Ren never understood why at the time.

  She remembered the day she finally came to accept him as a good role model. She was alone on winter break at the dorms and he was still held up due to admin work and the Demon War. He brought her for dinner with the custodial workers. He treated everyone to hot pot and hot stone BBQ homemade by him and his wife. Ren never had a meal with a large family before. She always ate alone or with one or two friends.

  Ren remembered how proud he was of her for passing her exams and not causing any fights for the past 3 months. This always made her happy hearing the praise from him. Argos knew she was happy despite her struggling to express it. Ren knew deep down Argos was doing this holiday dinner because he lost his new born daughter 2 weeks before him and his wife made the feast. That was the real reason why he stayed on campus that winter break.

  He had built a room for his expecting daughter in his mansion. Sadly, only after being alive for 6 days, his daughter passed away from sickness brought on by a premature birth. He told no one about it. Ren only found out about because of her running into his wife a few days before the dinner. Ren hugged his wife dearly in response to the news.

  Back in Argos’ office, Ren asked him, “When am I to leave for this?”

  “In a few days, dear.”

  “Sir.”

  “Do you understand the assignment? Everything it entails? Any questions?”

  “No.”

  “Good. Dismissed, major.”

  “Sir.”

  “Best of luck, Ren. I’m counting on you,” Argos said as he looked at a small picture frame of a 14 year old Ren smiling as she leaned into Argos’ shoulder as both of them were sitting together at the winter feast he and his wife made. Argos grunted out a cough to fight off his sentimental feelings.

  Ren stood up and saluted. She placed a letter sealed with wax on his desk. His eyebrow raised curiously and he noted the title of the letter. It read, “From Thomas.” Ren was staring at the wall blankly, but the pain in her eyes was obvious. Argos silently put the letter in his jacket pocket and nodded his head understandably.

  He saluted back and shook her hand. For a moment she noticed he wanted to hold on a little longer, but stopped himself. He went back behind his desk and pulled out a bag of tobacco. He got out a yellow pipe and began to smoke as he leaned back in his chair.

  Before leaving, Ren stopped and said without looking, “I’ll keep you updated, sir.”

  “Thank you… Please tell Shari to get everyone out and clean up my office RAPIDO.”