I stepped out of the portal first and immediately seized a large swath of the air here and started warming it up. The others came out, blinking their eyes clear. The rush of warmth I was pushing into the atmosphere had us surrounded in a wall of fog, condensation boiling away into the frigid world around us.

  "This looks a lot like some stupid wilderness," Larianne said, scowling around. Apparently she had higher hopes for the rumored origin of her House.

  "It is," I said. "This is a part of Wanfarrun that the kingdom never tamed or assimilated. The poisoned jungle keeps people at a distance, so it's wild land for several miles on every side. Still, we're going to have a more comfortable time of this than anyone else who has ever tried to take on this area."

  If nothing else, we didn't have to hike three weeks in miserable conditions to get this far. We are rested and ready instead already being wrung out before we've properly started. We stood only a hundred feet from the border, which was curiously sharp. Along one line, hardy grassy scrub lands. Past that point, The Forest of Phantasms.

  "I'll bet it's lovely in the summer," Tiviti said, looking around at the tall trees. The fog was lifting as the barrier between warm and cold air shed its humidity, and we could see the tall, straight trees all around us. The arching branches and swooping, spiraling limbs high above were bare of leaves but clearly would bear a stunning canopy in the summer. The bark was crackled like old ash, but the color was an unsettling orange tint that looked like nothing else.

  I glanced down all around, the snow was melting around us now. "It is lovely in the summer. It's also a death trap. Every one of these trees has hallucinogenic properties. The bark, the leaves, the smoke, the pollen. High winter is the only time it's remotely safe to come near here. Don't touch the leaf litter, don't touch fallen branches. Gloves on at all times. Don't touch your face with your gloves. We'll all know if you do it by accident because the hallucinations are not subtle."

  Quarl snickered. "You can make all these rules. I know you'll forget them too, and it'll be even funnier when you do." He gave me a small push on the shoulder, apparently this is how he responds to tension.

  I smirked. "I habitually use magic to adjust my hair, makeup, and to scratch small itches. I almost never touch my face by accident or intent." I waved at Licard, who was shouldering a truly massive knapsack. "If you accidentally contact the plants, get to Licard fast. Even if it's just a small dose. Small doses of potent poison are easy to cure, unless you start hallucinating that you're in gym class and go running through the underbrush. Don't make us chase you."

  Licard nodded. "I would rather cure a small contact that you think is no big deal, than to have to chase you down to cure you of whatever you've picked up while you were crazed. Expeditions like this fall apart from carelessness."

  Nux gazed up into the skeletal canopy. "A vast blast of the bastard's mast, shrapnel the splinters and burn real fast, bad guys breathing the dream-smoke fast until they trip into the past." With his hands he gestured an explosion among the trees, spreading out ahead of us.

  I sighed wistfully. "I wish any of our enemies were susceptible to this stuff. Instead, it's only a liability. Let me stress to you all: the monsters we encounter will be entirely immune to the trees and their poisons. Don't get overconfident, and know that they might be smeared in sap or bark. So be aware. Let's head out."

  Quarl glanced back at me. "I thought he was crazy?... That was almost a coherent plan he had there, in a way."

  "Oh, yeah, he's bonkers," I agreed. "But the more violence there is, the more his insanity tunes in to our insanity. In a peaceful park he's incoherent, on the eve of battle he's just eccentric."

  Hiking is good exercise, which means that it really sucks and it's a great way to get tired out long before you thought you would. Even those of us that play field sports find out that walking carefully over mixed terrain, sloping up or down and slipping one way or another works a whole different set of muscles than running on a level field. And we need to be terribly careful where we stop to rest- a bare rock is a good place to sit, but if you sit down on a fallen log to catch your breath, make sure you don't use your hands to brush your pants clean afterwards. For convenience Kimothy and I started making couches or chairs out of fog or wind so that people would not need to touch anything about them.

  "So, Tiviti, is this like hunting monsters back home on the frontiers?" Quarl asked.

  "You mean aside from the hallucinogenic trees and the need to travel as a party instead of being on my own?" She looked up from her gauntlet, which she seemed to be tightening up with a key or something.

  "Yes, aside from that."

  "Not in the slightest," she said, turning back to her equipment maintenance. "Everything is different with different intent. There, I would be tracking, finding gathering places, comparing fresher trails. Here, we are covering distance and hoping not to get ambushed. There is every difference between hunting, and trekking."

  Each of us got caught by minor contacts on the first day, and all of us wound up being surprised at how little contact it really took for the tree's toxins to start messing with your head. We expected that small doses would be a minor distortion, maybe moving textures or a bit of dizziness, but even minor brushes or a falling leaf could induce a dreamlike delusion with full immersion. It would have been nice if even one of us had managed to prove themselves careful enough to avoid the jungle's toxins, but in the end it was miraculous we got through as lightly as we did.

  Hardly the only surprise we got on the first day.

  "What the fuck are those?!" Kimothy hissed, staring upwards.

  "Skywhales," I said, shading my eyes. "I thought you were there for that briefing."

  Kimothy stared up at them. "Dragons," he said in wonder.

  I couldn't fault him for the sense of amazement as he marveled at them, because I felt it too. They were a lot more impressive in person, the game only gave us a couple of slowly-moving images. I also could not fault him for mistaking them for dragons, though these are very different creatures.

  Like giant pterodactyls or leathery pelicans, they glided about with almost no motion from their wings. They were covered in papery scales or close-fitting feathers, and they gave off a soft glow like reflected sunlight. And the reason they were called skywhales instead of 'giant pterodactyl' was their sheer unfathomable size. The one overhead blotted out a quarter of the sky as it wheeled lazily about, its great gulping pouch-mouth drawing in several pounds of pollen, insects and small birds dazed by the trees. The maw snapped shut, and it began the slow patient process of swallowing.

  It had supple wings where its foremost fins would be, and its tail flukes were broad and long, almost like peacock tails, the scale-feathers there extending far back to add extra surface area. The creature lifted its flukes once and then down again, and moved away at ponderous pace, the dignity of a great sailing ship easing past the port.

  Tiviti stared up with rapt fascination. She sighed dreamily. "Dibs."

  "What?"

  "When it comes time for us to kill one of them, I want dibs," she said.

  Licard scoffed. "We aren't possibly going to kill something like that!"

  "Not for a while anyway," I said. "Be patient."

  Licard gave me the sort of incredulous stare you're supposed to reserve for someone who is clearly delusional and has said something preposterous. "Really?!" he demanded. "One of those?!"

  "Nothing wrong with being ambitious," I said.

  "Ambitious adventurers are the kind that need the most healing," he said darkly.

  Captain Maspers caught up to us, hiking easily. He had his thumbs tucked into his knapsack straps like suspenders. "Hey guys. Did you know that Nux guy is peeling bark off the trees and eating it like jerky?" He was doing the best of us, like he regularly hiked nature trails.

  I craned my head to get a look backwards. "Is it making him any crazier?"

  "Not that I can see," the guardsman replied cheerfully. "Maybe he's immune?"

  Licard gave me a worried look. "I don't think he's immune. I'm gonna go check on your madman."

  My legs hurt, I put some wind under my feet and floated up to the front of the line of travelers, setting down next to Thumper. She gave me an envious look and a punch on the shoulder. "Flying around like that. Can't you pick us all up with your magic and fly us around?"

  "If I lift above the tree canopy the whales will try to eat us," I said, settling my footing, "and if I try flying you below that I can't steer everyone else as well as I do myself, I could accidentally fly every one of you into leaves, brush, or pollen and never notice it until we reach the clearing. I promise I did try to think of easy ways before I committed us to hours of hiking."

  Rather than her usual rapier, she had a staff in hand and was using it to test the ground in front of her for roots, sinkholes, gophers, snares, or soft spots. The rapier was on her hip. We moved around brush and deadfalls. In another forest we might have packed machetes to hack through dense cover, but here swinging a machete would spray sap, leaves, and particles of bark all over the group.

  The staff was a good idea, because I almost immediately hit a small burrow and started to tip over towards a pile of rotting leaves. I panicked- instead of levitating up and away, all I could think to do was to throw my arms up in front of my face. Not nearly enough.

  But Thumper's grip on the back of my collar was enough. She held me in place, with her arm at full extension, and then drew me back in and set me on my feet. One-handed.

  "Thanks," I said. And then I blushed hard. Nobody could see it, because I blush white-on-white, but I knew what happened. And now I've got to figure out what that's all about exactly. Am I crushing? I better not be crushing.

  I checked the position of the sun, then I remembered that being raised in the provinces is not the same thing as being a woods-wise ranger. Skydown Crossing village is more of a suburb than being country, and the stands and groves of trees in Meadowtam are more orchards gone to seed than they are real wilderness. "Hey, Thumper, about what time is it?"

  "About sixth bell," she said. Late morning, but a little too early to consider stopping for lunch.

  "Not much longer now," I said. "I'll stay up here next to you."

  "Visions?" she asked, skirting a long way around a fallen limb that would roll if someone stepped on it.

  "Yep," I affirmed.

  "Hey, in this jungle you're not the only one who's going to be responding to visions."

  "Funny," I said. "Stay careful, I want to put off the worst of it as long as possible."

  "Can you tell me what you're waiting on?"

  "The mancatcher. I forget his name."

  She scoffed. "You forgot?"

  "Yes."

  "Wait, you have visions given to you and sometimes you forget them?"

  "Mostly details," I said. "I think I've still got the important stuff all memorized."

  She shook her head. "That does not seem like it should be possible. If you're getting supernatural knowledge it should be permanently emblazoned in your brain, not just something you have to try to remember. Anyway, what's the big deal with this mancatcher?"

  I looked ahead through the trees, and saw a fast-moving glimmer darting from tree to tree. It was flitting erratically, and left behind a trail of light that coalesced into tiny fading stars that dripped down to the ground like cinders, or a like dust caught in sunlight.

  A fairy.

  Thumper was watching me, not the trees. "Well? What's up with him?"

  "Well, for one thing he's got great timing," I chuckled. I cupped my hands and called out. "Hello! We mean you no harm sir!"

  And from a bush, a man stood up, holding a huge hook in his hand with a gleaming steel point. He was dressed for winter camouflage, the brown of dead leaves and the gray of winter bark, crisscrossed with dark lines like shadows of bare branches. His hair was long and shaggy, but most of it was covered by a deep cowl-hood, and a bandana covered his mouth. He looked at me, slightly groggy. "I'm looking for this man," he said, his voice clear and determined.

  "Hello?" Thumper said, looking cautious now. She was staring at that hook, and her hands were sinking towards the belt around her waist and the scabbard that hung from it.

  "I'm looking for this man," the stranger said, taking a step forward. "To make us rich and famous."

  "I don't think he can actually hear us," I said to Thumper. "It's best just to let this part play out."

  The others were catching up behind, spreading out a little to see around us and watch the newcomer.

  Staggering a little, the mancatcher trembled. "He has the marks of a genius," the stranger declared. "I'm looking for this man, to sell him to other men." He wobbled, again, but firmed up again and found his strength. "Lock the target," he snarled, looking around. He was suddenly focused, sharp, hungry even. "Lock the target, bait the line," he said, looking around him, frantic.

  "what the fuck?!" Kimothy muttered from behind us.

  "Should we?.... " Licard asked, but he did not finish the thought, like he was sure we should do something but he could not begin to articulate what we should do.

  "Lock the target!" the mancatcher yelled, stumbling back. "Bait the line! Spread the net! Catch the man!" He glared around at us, and then he turned. I could feel the mana flare just before his boots glowed, and he was off like a shot.

  "Gods that was weird," Captain Maspers said. "I think I've worked with him before."

  "Shit, really?" I gasped. "Gods, it's been annoying me. His name, it's something ... Farty? Forty?"

  "Fortu," Maspers said. "Yes, a bounty hunter, and a good one. What brought him out here?"

  "A bounty," I chuckled. "Didn't you hear him? He's looking for a man."

  "With the marks of a genius," Tiviti said, looking to her side, towards Nux Gysmo. "Think he means this one? He's marked, and he's supposed to be nearly as smart as Lady Natalie."

  I glanced at the birthmarks on Nux's face, but shook my head. "No, it's none of us. Fortu's path is almost unrelated to us." Almost. I looked back in the direction he had run off. The same direction we were headed. "He's a warning. The reason why none of us should come here alone, and why we have to move slowly and carefully through this forest. You can't just run and hope that you get where you're going before the poisons get you."

  "Is that why nothing lives here?" Kimothy asked. "The poison?"

  "Oh, I'm sorry to ruin the optimism there's plenty of creatures here," I said. "Nailmonkeys, fairies, various monsters, centaurs, thunderbeasts. And of course barbarians. But we're not seeing them because most of them are in burrows. Some because it's winter, hibernation season. Some because it's daylight, the hunters here are nocturnal. As we get further in we'll attract more of their attention."

  "Glad there's plenty daylight left," Licard observed, turning his head to the east. "Gonna be bad once we have to watch every direction at once."

  Maspers shuddered. "Thanks ever so much for that. If we get assaulted by monsters they'll get a meal and a half out of you, Healer Licard."

  "I thought you swordsmen were here to make sure I don't feed any monsters at all," the giant medic said archly.

  "Swords versus thunderbeasts? I think not," Maspers chuckled.

  "That's a sorcery job," Kimothy reminded them both.

  "Leaf got me!" Thumper called from near the back of the line. Licard fell out of line and let the rest walk on without him so he could heal the girl before the toxins got to her brain.

  The walk was a trudging drudgery of watching out for twigs and leaves, and keeping an eye out for the various creatures of the forest. They spotted something that looked like a wounded deer, but the sly way it moved seemed just a little off. And then its antlers twitched, grasping, and its lips snarled back to show jagged pointed teeth. When we refused to hunt it and fall for its ambush, it sauntered away as if we were no longer worth its time.

  "Something is up with that deer," Maspers said, staring after it. "I don't like it."

  "Those? They mainly prey on wolves," I said. "It's called a blackhart. It pretends to be wounded and alone so the pack will surround it. Then it attacks. The antlers are some kind of pincer to hold them in place for it to bite the throat."

  "Gods," Kimothy said with a shudder. "It can really fight off a pack of wolves?"

  "If the wolves are already half-dazed from the tree's toxins, yes," I said.

  "And the monster is immune?" Larianne asked, curious now, looking for confirmation.

  More and more I'm having to repeat myself, to give reassurances. Even the experienced badasses, adventurers and monster slayers, are getting nervous in this place.

  I glanced at Nux, who still was not showing any symptoms. "Yeah. All monsters are immune to the poisons of this forest." He saw me staring, and he waved back. I found for a moment I would be more comfortable if he was back in shackles.

  "New plan," Quarl said. "We capture a bunch of those things, and we ride them through this forest. They don't have to avoid the shrubs and leaf-piles, we can move straight to the ruins."

  "Can't be tamed," I said. "It would literally never stop trying to attack you. It's a monster, not an animal."

  "Is there really that clear a line between monsters and animals?" Kimothy asked.

  Tiviti laughed uproariously, and that was Kimothy's answer. Larianne spoke up. "I assure you. True monsters are not a cousin to any naturally-occurring animal. Any resemblance is just intended to fool you."

  I slid my rucksack down to the ground, moving slowly and carefully. "Everyone, limber up and get ready."

  Kimothy glanced at me. "What, is it coming back?"

  Larianne and Tiviti were already in fighting positions, looking around. Larianne had her hands raised, fingers spread, and the black lacquer of her nails was glinting. Tiviti had her sword, but this time she held it by the grip instead of pommel, and held it in a slashing grip, crossed over her body.

  Sir Maspers and Thumper were slower about it, uncinching the straps before they took off their bags, and had to reach to draw their weapons. Thumper looked troubled. "What's the problem? I can't even see it."

  Quarl answered her for me. "A creature like that does not disappear so quickly by accident. It walked and put a tree between us and it, and it did not come out the other side. We're on high ground, so if it stays low it can circle us without us seeing." He had his crossbow out and was furiously winching the string back. The tighter he wound it, the more I could feel the tension building in the steel, and the power it would release as soon as he gave it the chance.

  A branch snapped and we could not tell which direction. The sound seemed to be everywhere.

  Nux bent down and picked up a heavy-looking branch, solid through, a decent club. It was also infused with all the poisons of the forest. He did not seem to mind though. He looked around, and squinted.

  Thumper noticed the rangy madman getting antsy. "Hey, I think someone needs to get hold of Nux, he looks like he's about to-"

  Nux bolted.

  "Shit!"

  He was sprinting out with long, loping steps, knees coming up high with each stride. The branch came up and up, overhead, and he clasped it with both hands. "WHY ARE WE WHISPERING?!" he bellowed, just an instant before the blackhart lunged out of the shrubbery in front of him.

  The creature had dropped its disguise while it was out of sight, unfolding itself upright. What had seemed like a deer's neck covered in a shaggy winter mane was longer, taller, and narrower now, an extended new torso rising above the stag's shoulders. The "antlers" were folding back and down, revealing that they were actually joined at a pair of shoulders underneath the pointed, narrow head. What had been bony forks and tines of antler were actually spindly articulated arms, with a jointed carapace and long, pointed fingers that clacked against each other as it sprinted at Nux.

  Blackhart. The most savage and animalistic of the centaur races. And one of them was getting charged by Nux Gysmo, who was supposed to be standing back and scribbling on a notepad.

  He swung the club down to brain the thing, but the jointed antler-arms moved like skeletal hands, catching the cudgel with surprising strength. With a yank of its torso-neck, it pulled the club away from Nux and tossed it away.

  "Shit!" I yelled, and threw a hard barrier of air between them to buy Nux a moment, but he flung himself at the monster. "WRECK NECK!" he screamed out, with his hands out in strangling position. He was working just as furiously to get at the blackhart as it was to get at him.

  And then something went TWANG and the monster was flung backwards like it was pulled by wires, straight off its feet and tumbling through the air.

  Quarl was reloading his crossbow, and he looked around in all directions. Other than the sound of him winding the winch to pull back the string, there was no sound at all in the forest.

  "What the fuck?" Kimothy said, glancing back at the assassin. "How does that thing hit so hard?"

  Quarl flicked back the claw of the winch and set the string on its groove. "That's what crossbows do. That's why you can't just pull the string back like a bow." He glanced around. "Who's with me to check the body?"

  Thumper, Larianne and Quarl went to make sure the creature really was dead. I pretended like I had any idea that his crossbow could do that. Movies have lied to me about those things! Instead, I concentrated on Nux. "Buddy?" I said to him. "Are you going to hare off and starting beating monsters with blunt instruments again, or was this a one-time deal?"

  He grinned at me, wiping foam off his mouth. His hands were bleeding and he was favoring one leg. "I took my fightamins this morning," he told me, sounding proud of himself. He was a damn mess, clearly injured in several places but utterly unconcerned by it.

  Awesome, my research associate has a berserker class build. "Licard? I think Nux has pulled a few muscles."

  I sent the healer and the berserker to deal with each other while I tried to figure out how to get my backpack back on without exposing myself to any of the leaves that it had fallen onto. Welcome to adventuring! Thumper looked impressed, and a little giddy, as she led the others back. "Oh my gods," she giggled. "The side it hit? Little hole like this. The other side?" she held her hands up, fingers and thumbs forming the sides of a circle like a tea saucer. "You gotta see this thing!"

  Great, my assassin party member who might also be potentially a boyfriend has a crossbow that leaves exit wounds that look like craters, and my swordswoman party member who might hopefully be a girlfriend is really jazzed about it. My life is weird.

  I'm having a lot of moments like this all the sudden.