Excuse me waiter, where’s my menu?

  I woke in the morning to an uncomfortable pressure in my bladder. In the night I had rolled onto my side and the orb I had been given by Misaki that I put into my waistband was right under my kidney. I staggered to my feet and went to the front door. Stepping outside I noticed the outhouse at the edge of the yard and went to do my business. I studied the orb in my hand as I left, in the early morning light I noticed that there was an object embedded in the center like an insect. It wasn’t bright enough to make out what it was exactly. I made my way back towards the house where I was greeted by Adda’s pet squirrel.

  The door opened and Adda yelled out “bring in a pail of water when you come in.” I did as she instructed and when I came back, she had laid out some ingredients and built up the flames in the hearth.

  “Do you need some help with breakfast?” I offered. Everyone in the village had given me a warm reception and Adda had been nothing but helpful to me. Cooking has become one of my distracting havens after my son had passed and I dove into it with enthusiasm.

  “Have at it, I’ve always been rubbish at it. I have many talents but cooking was never one of them as my previous three husbands would attest.”

  I glanced around the room looking at the bunches of herbs she had tied and drying from the ceiling along with sausages and vegetables. Adda was watching and directing me to the various ingredients I needed. I grabbed a cast iron frying pan and placed it over the stove to preheat it, and stared to peel and slice an onion thinly with dab of butter from a crock. With the onions in the pan slowly caramelizing I went around the room tasting a bit of some the unfamiliar herbs. More blue screen pop-ups flashed up with little more than the name of the herb. Adda confirmed when I checked with her for verification.

  I diced and tossed some of the dry cured sausage into the pan to heat and started to beat some eggs. The onions had browned perfectly in a third of the time they should have. I emptied the pan and added more butter before adding the eggs. The cast iron was wonderfully seasoned and the eggs didn’t stick at all. I added back half of the filling and carefully folded it over before loosening it from the pan and plating it with a garnish of chervil. I started another for myself as Adda tucked into the first one.

  “I don’t thing I have ever had eggs cooked quite like this before.”

  “In my world we called it a French omelet. The eggs are still creamy and custardy unlike a western omelet. It’s just a matter of textures in the dish made from the same ingredients.”

  “That is very interesting but it is unimportant. Are you ready to talk about your menu now?”

  I swallowed and braced myself. The entire concept of life as a game was fundamentally disturbing for me, and I had been putting it off by sticking to the familiar. I had gotten quite good at distracting myself after my son had died. I needed to face this new reality though. Menu.

  “Now look at me and will it to be shared. I will be able to see what ever window you have open.” I did as she asked. “If you have question about something just focus on it and an explanation will appear.” Both of our eyes glazed over as we delved into my status.

  “Your attributes are self-explanatory, yes?” I nodded my assent. I knew what all of the words meant but didn’t understand how they measure up to the numbers. When I pondered strength, a new pop-up appeared.

  One after another I went through them.

  I focused on the Class tab and it brought up the class information that had been granted to me in my last interaction with the goddess.

  Next up was Boons.

  The Map and Quest log tabs were both greyed out an inactive.

  Adda told me, “Map will only activate if you get a hold of a map crafted by someone with the cartography skill or earn it for yourself. Now bring up your Skills.”

  “Now that is impressive. Eight skills, and one is rare with another one legendary. Let’s keep moving bring up your Resistances.”

  Next was Reputation but again it was inert, so we moved on to Abilities.

  Again, we ignored inert choices of Properties and Spells, and moved on to Traits.

  “Well, there is a lot to unpack with all of that. Let’s head out to the garden. I’ve got some chores that need to be done and you look like you need a moment to process.