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4.40 Forgetting.

  The chilling laughter filled the air as I spun around, my heart racing. Move. I had to move. My knees were unsteady. They trembled as I started to edge across the lily pad, making it even harder to keep my balance. Each step made the leaf under me wobble. It dipped beneath my feet, making it feel as though I was trying to walk across jelly. I was terrified that I was about to fall at any second, but I had to keep going. If I stopped for even a moment, they could get me.

  I didn’t even know who they were. I hadn’t seen them, and I was too scared to look back over my shoulder and scan the trees once more. If I did, if I looked up for even a second, the leaf could tear, and I’d fall into the disgusting water below. I recognised it, though. I’d heard the jeering noise they were making before, and although I couldn’t remember where, it was enough to send a shiver down my spine. They couldn’t catch me. I couldn’t let it happen. Not again.

  My step faltered as I caught up with my racing mind. Had they caught me before? I had no recollection of that happening, but they must have, right? Why else would I have thought that? But when had it happened? It couldn’t have been recently. I would have remembered if it had been. I was almost sure of that.

  Was that why my memories were so scattered? The question came out of nowhere, making me feel even more off-balanced. They could have been the ones to blame for that somehow. Perhaps they did something to me, something to my brain, and if I went back to them, they could help me. They could repair whatever damage they’d done.

  But I couldn’t bring myself to stop or turn back. Even the hope of being fixed wasn’t enough to overpower the terror that pounded within me. The people behind me would not help. They wouldn’t nurse me back to health or show any mercy. They were monsters. The only thing they wanted to do to me was watch me suffer, and I couldn’t let that happen. I had to get away.

  Water sloshed over my shoes, immediately finding a way in and drenching my socks, but I forced myself not to think about the foul-smelling liquid or what could have been in it. I was too near to the edge of the lily pad. That was what I needed to focus on. I had to jump, to make it across the gap.

  Panic seized me, making me slow. I longed to hurry back into the middle of the floating platform. It felt safer there. The leaf sunk less under my weight than it did at the edge, but the next lily pad was too far away. I couldn’t be any further from the side, or I wouldn’t be able to do it.

  The shadow in the water drew closer, close enough that I felt the ripple it created through the lily pad. My chest clenched painfully as I ripped my eyes away from the space between the leaves, finding the creature, and my fear intensified.

  I watched it swimming through the murky lake, helplessness rising within me. The people behind me were not the only monsters waiting for their chance to capture me. There were monsters in the water too. I was surrounded on all sides, and I needed to jump before it was too late.

  Time seemed to slow as I threw myself into the air, desperately praying that I’d make it across. The gap was so much bigger once I’d jumped. It seemed impossible that I’d actually manage to clear the water, and I stared down at my feet.

  Gradually, the thin green leaf began to rush towards me. Anxiety thrashed within me, making me nauseous. I held my breath, unable to do anything else, as I made contact with the lily pad.

  It sunk under my weight, plunging into the water below. A wave of dark sludge crashed over the edge of the pad behind me as my feet continued to sink lower, and for a moment, I was terrified I was about to tear right through it. The leaf was too fragile. It was too delicate, and I was too heavy. I’d been falling too fast, and I was sure there was no way it was going to be able to support me, but it was stronger than it looked.

  I couldn’t hesitate, though. Immediately, I stumbled forward, rushing towards the centre of the lily pad. That was the thickest part. I was safest there, but I couldn’t stay. I needed to keep going, to get to the next one. There were so many leaves I had to leap across before I got to the other side. I just had to keep going.

  The next jump was just as terrifying as the first. I staggered as I landed, falling forward. My hands crashed into the strangely waxy surface, immediately starting to sting. I stared at them in shock as the laughter still ringing through the air became even more jeering.

  Why were they burning? Was it because of the leaf? Did it have some kind of coating on it to repel predators, or was it from the residue of the water that had been left on the leaf? I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t stay there and work it out. I needed to get up.

  Slowly, I pushed myself upright, wiping my palms on my legs to try and rid them of whatever was causing the painful tingling. It didn’t matter. Once I got to the other side, once I was safe, I could deal with them.

  I began to rush forward again, making my way across the bobbing surface slightly quicker than before. I could feel myself starting to get more used to the movement. It still felt unnatural, and I wasn’t moving as quickly as I would have been on land, but it was definitely easier.

  Diving into the air again, I felt hope begin to kindle in my heart. Perhaps it was foolish, but it actually felt as though I might be able to make it. I barely even stumbled as I landed on the next leaf; I was able to regain my balance quickly, and I was making good progress. I was moving fast, and I couldn’t help but think I’d be able to make it to the riverbank before the people following me did. There was a chance I’d actually get away from them.

  The gap between the next two lily pads was slightly bigger than the last. Fear bubbled in the pit of my stomach, threatening to smother my hope, but I forced myself to push it aside, clinging desperately to my flimsy belief. It was only a little bigger than the last, I told myself. I just had to move even faster. If I had more speed, it would be easier.

  My feet hit the lily pad harder, causing it to jerk erratically beneath me, but I managed to stay upright. The creature in the water drew closer as I approached the edge. I couldn’t risk looking back to check, but I must have been near the centre of the lake.

  It was the most dangerous place for me to fall in. Anywhere else, I might have been able to make it to the shore before the monster caught up with me, but there was no chance of me making it all the way from the middle. Perhaps that would be good, though. I was pretty sure I’d have a quicker death at the hands of the creature than I would if the Company were to catch me.

  But I could make it. Neither would kill me that time, I decided as I leapt into the air. My heart tightened as the shadow passed under me, swimming gracefully between the two lily pads, before I landed on the other side.

  I didn’t get a good look at it. The water was too dark, but I was pretty sure it was an alligator or a crocodile. I wasn’t sure what the difference was or even if there was one, but it had to be one of the two. I prayed it was whichever was less dangerous, less cruel. That would be good. I could use some kindness.

  The lily pad was rocked by a wave as a creature swam too close to it, and my head snapped up. That was the wrong side. It had been moving in the other direction. It should have been on the left side, not the right, but I could see it in the water there. There was no mistaking the ripples it caused as it swam.

  I rushed forward, moving away from the edge as my eyes darted back and forth, searching the water. How had it done that? How had it moved so quickly? Did it swim under the leaf? That wasn’t possible, though. It shouldn’t have been, anyway. I was sure there should have been roots or something under it. All plants had roots, didn’t they? But then, how was it there?

  My breath caught in my chest as I spotted another shape moving through the water. The movements were just as sinuous, just as dangerous, as the first. Two. There were two of them in the lake, just waiting for me to fall.

  I felt my eyebrows pull together as I stared at them, my breathing coming in shallow gasps. Why were there two monsters in the swamp? How had I not realised that before? I should have. I was in a rush, hurrying to get away from whoever awaited me on the shore behind, but I should have noticed that there was more than one creature.

  Or did I already know? A fuzziness seemed to crackle at the back of my mind, the burn echoing the sensation in my hands. Had I somehow noticed them before and forgotten about it? That couldn’t be possible. I hadn’t been hurrying across the water for long. It had only been a few seconds at most. There was no way I could have forgotten about them in that time, was there?

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  Fear swelled in my heart, threatening to suffocate me, and I risked a glance back at the riverbank I must have come from. It was so far away, but that didn’t feel right. There were easily eight or nine lily pads between myself and the far side of the lake, but I’d only jumped across a few, hadn’t I?

  What was happening to me? Why couldn’t I remember? Tears burnt behind my eyes, and I tried desperately to suck in a breath as the forest started to spin around me. I was forgetting everything. I was losing my mind, and I couldn’t make it stop. I needed to do something. I needed help.

  Would the people in the shadows help me? I couldn’t see them. I was too far away, and my vision was too blurred by tears to make them out, but maybe that was why they were chasing me. They could have been doctors, nurses, or hospital workers who were just trying to get me back to safety, but instead, I was going to drown. I was going to fall into the water and drown.

  The lily pad beneath my feet lurched again as a creature swam so close it must have touched the edge, and I stared at it in terror. I wasn’t going to drown. I was going to be eaten by whatever that monster was. I needed help. I needed the people on the shore to help me. They could do it. They could chase the monsters away and get me back to the hospital, or where ever it was I must have escaped from. I just had to stay there and wait, and they’d get to me.

  But what if they hadn’t seen them? They were so far away, and the creatures were staying beneath the surface. The only hint that they were even there came from the waves they caused, and the others, whoever they were, might have missed them. They might have been so focused on what I was doing they didn’t even see them, and they could be in danger. If they tried to come out to get me, if they entered the water, they’d be eaten.

  My head snapped up again, and I opened my mouth, intending to shout a warning to them, but the words died on my lips as I noticed something. Confusion swirled within me as I looked down slowly.

  There was a breeze. I could feel a breeze on my knees and thighs, but that didn’t make sense. I’d been fully dressed before, hadn’t I? I was sure I had been, but maybe I’d torn them off at some point? I didn’t remember doing that, but…

  My eyes finally found my legs, and my confusion turned into horror. I was right. I had been wearing clothes, but there were holes in them. My leggings were starting to disintegrate, to melt away. The angry red skin of my knees had become visible, but the sides of my leggings were still dissolving as I watched.

  Deja vu slammed into me. I’d seen that before. I’d witnessed my clothes liquefying before my very eyes before. I knew I had, and I wracked my mind, trying to recall when or what had caused it, but I couldn’t think of anything.

  Was it just my clothes, though? There had been something else. I’d watched as something else melted. I knew I had. It was different that time, though. Unlike my leggings, whatever it was had reformed. It had changed and become solid again, but what was it? What had I seen?

  The ground! I’d seen the forest floor turn to liquid and drip away. The memory felt hazy. It felt unreal, but I was certain it had happened. I’d taken a step, expecting to feel it beneath my feet, but it hadn’t been there. I’d fallen, tipping forward and plummeting towards the ground until—

  A sound split the air, and I staggered as the thing beneath me rocked violently. My arms stretched out, wheeling as I almost fell. What was that? My head whipped back and forth, trying to find the source of the noise, but I couldn’t see anything that could have caused the crack. It was so loud, so deafening, that I couldn’t even work out where it had come from, and I scanned the treeline desperately.

  Another bang sounded, and I leapt into the air as the water beside my lily pad exploded. A gunshot, I realised, my eyes returning to the forest as I searched for the unknown shooter. Were they trying to shoot the creature, trying to kill it so they could send people out to rescue me?

  Relief made my knees weak, but another gunshot sounded, and a hole appeared in the leaf not far from where I was standing. I stared at the dark water oozing through it before slowly lifting my gaze.

  They’d missed. If they were aiming for the creatures, they must have missed. The monster—the monsters—were nowhere near me. The first shot must have scared them because they’d scurried away to the edge of the swamp. The water was still churning angrily from their movement, but it was obvious where they were. How could the people on the shore not have seen that?

  Unless they had. There was no way they couldn’t see it, but that didn’t make sense. If they weren’t aiming for the monsters, why had they shot their guns? There had been multiple gunshots since the creatures fled, so what were they aiming for?

  Me.

  I spun around as the water beside me shot into the air again, sprinting across the leaf. They were trying to kill me. They weren’t trying to save me at all. They wanted me dead, wanted to watch it happen, and I had to get to the other side.

  Lily pads were scattered across the water, and I longed to zigzag randomly across the surface of the lake as I’d been trained, making it harder for the shooters to hit me, but I had to run in a straight line. Only a handful appeared big enough to support me, and I couldn’t risk going for one of the smaller ones. They might not hold me, and the creatures had been scared off by the noise of the guns, but I had no doubt they’d strike if I fell.

  The tattered remains of my leggings flapped as I hurried away from the people on the riverbank, leaping into the air as another bullet slammed into the water behind me. My face was hit with the spray, and I clamped my mouth shut, but I wasn’t fast enough. The rancid liquid made me stumble as I landed, and I gagged.

  It tasted unlike anything I’d ever tried before, but I couldn’t stop. I lifted my arm as I ran, wiping my tongue on the back of my hand. That was a mistake. My hand must have gotten wet at some point. I had no memory of it happening, but it must have gone in the water or been splashed because there was even more on it.

  My stomach turned, and I heaved, unable to stop myself. I stumbled forward as the vomit splattered against my bare thighs, causing them to throb painfully. Tears cascaded down my cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to fall to my knees and cry, but I had to keep moving. I’d die if I didn’t.

  I could barely see as I threw myself into the air again. My feet hit the lily pad hard, sinking in even further than they did before, and water surged over the edge. I scurried away from it, my shoes slipping on the water that pooled on the surface. It was hard to see the edge. It was almost entirely submerged, with just the slight lip sticking up to warn me when I had to jump.

  The sight made panic scream within me as gunshots continued to sound, each one making me flinch. Had I made a mistake? I was trying to move in a straight line, to follow the path of the largest lily pads so I could get to the other side, but the one I was rushing across was too weak. It could barely hold me, and that was wrong. It should have been fine, just like the others I’d already sprinted across.

  I tore my eyes away from the water in front of me, quickly checking that I’d not veered off track. I hadn’t, though. I was exactly where I should have been, and that meant something was wrong. Either I’d made a mistake, and the leaves weren’t strong enough to carry me, or…

  There were holes in the leaves. I only noticed them as I flew through the air towards the next one, but there were gashes in the surface that were letting in water. They made the lily pads weaker. They were taking on water, and that meant they might not be able to hold me.

  Some were already starting to sink, I realised as I landed, throwing my hands out to catch me as I fell forward. It was the people chasing me. They weren’t aiming at me. They can’t have been. I was an easy shot. There was nothing for me to hide behind, and I wasn’t darting back and forth. They would have been able to predict my path and hit me without any difficulty, but they hadn’t.

  It was intentional. They were too good for it not to be. I wasn’t sure how I knew that, but I did. If the people on the shore hadn’t hit me, then they weren’t trying to. The lily pads must have been their goal. They wanted me to fall into the water and be attacked by the monsters who were starting to gain confidence once more.

  How had they managed to shoot the ones in front of me, though? The question came out of nowhere, but immediately, I was sure they’d surrounded me. They must have. The realisation made me falter as I leapt into the air, and I barely made the jump. Something rushed past my shoe, and I yanked my foot away as the snapping of jaws followed.

  A sob escaped my lips, but I didn’t look back to see how close I’d come to certain death. Somewhere, in another world where I was half a second slower, I was less lucky. The creature didn’t miss me, and I was being dragged into the depths as the people around me celebrated. I could almost feel the water forcing its way into my lungs as I screamed in agony, but no sound escaped.

  The urge to turn back flared within me as my eyes found the next lily pad. It was so riddled with holes that I was almost certain it was going to crumple beneath me, but I had to do it. I had to keep moving. If I stopped, I’d sink into the water anyway, and there were only a few more to go. Just four leaves separated me from the shore.

  Determination burned in my heart, spurred on by the gunshots and laughter, and I lunged forward. The leaves were smaller towards the far side of the swamp. In just three paces, I had crossed the first one, and the next one was so close. There wasn’t even space for the monsters to swim between them, and I barely needed to jump to make it across. I could have just stepped.

  Another sob clawed at me as I darted forward, but that time, it was fuelled by hope. I was close, so close. A few more jumps, and I’d be there. Once I was on solid ground again, I’d be able to run properly, and I could lose the people following me. They wouldn’t have managed to get all the way to that side, so I had time, I told myself as I made the final leap.

  A wild smile appeared on my lips as I sailed over the edge of the water, hurtling towards the land. It appeared water-logged and slick with slime, but I didn’t care. I’d survived the journey across the swamp. As long as it was solid and didn’t rock when I moved, that was all that mattered.

  My foot plunged towards the riverbank, but it didn’t hit the ground. The smile slipped from my face as I fell through the earth. Wind whipped against my face as I plummeted into darkness. The breath was stolen from my lungs, and my eyes burned as air rushed at me, but I fought to keep them open, needing to see what was happening. My vision was too obscured by tears, though. I could barely see anything, but it was starting to get brighter. There was a light in the distance. I was falling towards it, about to slam into whatever it was.

  I jolted in my chair, my heart pounding as if I’d just run a marathon. My head spun as I blinked quickly, fighting back tears and trying desperately to work out where I was. My eyes flicked back and forth, soaking in my surroundings as fear gripped my heart.

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