POV: Runa
How does one screw up hitting a woman?! There she was, the woman, within easy striking distance and he turns around to pick the professional victim. The lucky little priss.
And then she blunders! How?!
The Runa from this universe was fond of Baggage for some reason. There had been no evidence to support such a kind assessment. In Runa’s original native universe, Mio could carry herself with sexy confidence. Mio knew how to move her body. Baggage? No. The Drake of this side named her correctly.
Also, weirdly enough, Baggage was kind of a prude. Mio had the hero in her grasp within an hour. It would have been less if Sayaka had taken the hint and left the room. The hero was an old-fashioned boy that way.
Runa had no idea what Baggage had done in the woods but it was obviously incompetent. Seducing him should have been easy. Worthy of a staged melodrama…
“Hero Drake! You are so cold! I have naught but this small heater and your gigantic fucking coat to keep us warm. Alas! Alack!”
“Do not fret, my emotionally unstable failed love interest! Save yourself from the cold and I will stoically freeze to death!”
“Such manhood! Oh, but strong hero, what of (dramatic pause) the children? Do they not deserve you by their side?”
“Fear not, my erotically bullemic government-assigned liaison, Ethan and Lily do better without me!”
“What valliant resolve! Although, there are many dangers in this world. You and Sayaka chief among them. Who will protect my frail little self whilst I enjoy my favorite hobby of sneaking up behind explosively violent felons?”
“Gadzooks! Yes, my hormonally bankrupt trophy chick, I will protect you with all my alpha maleness!”
*kissy* *kissy*
… more complex scripts could be found in vaudeville.
She was giving serious thought to railing him in his sleep, but there was an intensity to the man that triggered all of her self-preservation instincts. Would he kill her if she did that? Possibly. The guy’s version of self-restraint was to do enough emotional damage to himself so he wouldn’t be able to do whatever-it-was anymore.
Forget it. She should focus on getting back to her own universe then hitching a ride to the good Drake’s Earth. They had billions of people. At least a hundred of them had to be good-looking and competent. That would be enough of a gene pool to start with.
Earth only had a trickle of mana, but Runa was certain it would be adequate to use the unacceptable people as mana batteries. Then she would have enough to keep both Runas young, and she could get to work on conquering the Earth.
Computers would be the key. A very small amount of lightning magic was required to charge a phone, the next step would be to alter the computers Drake said kept track of money. She’d buy a small area, Vermont for example, and build her army there.
Or maybe she could conquer the world as some type of celebrated figure. Two Runas as “twins” would turn heads. So many ways to dominate a planet!
Wait a minute.
She wanted to conquer Earth.
Her anti-megalomania choker wasn’t working for Earth.
Runa tried it out loud, “I want to conquer Earth.”
Nothing.
Runa giggled. She was allowed to conquer every planet but Tenka.
Well. This was an exciting opportunity for a career change that she had not previously considered.
- - -
*thump* *thump* *thump*
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Yo! Runa!”
“I’m not doing anything!”
The carriage door opened and there was Drake, looking like he was about to say something vacuous.
Runa gave a small performative squeak as she gathered up her relevant scrolls for Earth invasion.
“How dare you walk into a woman’s chambers unpermitted! You are no gentleman! I am a lady, sir!”
As a sad testimony to the state of Earth’s heroes, her diversion worked. Drake turned around and Runa rolled up her scroll labeled ‘magically induced plastic-eating bacteria targeting a technological society’.
Even Drake would catch that hint.
“Sure. Anyway, we got orcs ahead that are telling us to turn back.”
“Kill them and go around the bodies. It’s an air sled, we don’t need roads.”
“OK.”
She’d bail the dummy out shortly. Wizards could do anything, they just needed preparation time, materials, knowledge, and mana. Her other self in the other universe was a little low on power these days, while she was low on materials for the fast spells and not looking great for the slow ones-
A series of gunshots penetrated the air, interrupting her thoughts. There were screams and sounds of steel weapons and armor.
On the other side of the carriage, Baggage woke up from her nap, heard what was going on, and stuck her head out the window. Sticking her head out into danger? What happened to Little Miss Vulnerable? Was it simply not convenient to be her right now?
Runa checked her diminishing supply of magic spell components, found a few that could be applied to a small group of twenty orcs, and leaned out of the window in front of Baggage to see how much the hero needed assistance.
Huh. How about that?
He was kicking ass.
Kai had removed his bulky coat and was moving in brief sprints. His favorite tactic was to get past an orc’s guard and make one cut across the torso. Armor didn’t seem to matter much.
That sword of his could slice through hospitals.
“Runa! I can’t see!”, wailed an ‘emotionally delicate’ woman. Runa thought Baggage was putting on a big act of fragility and couldn’t believe anyone was falling for it.
“Just protecting you,” Runa said dismissively and looked through her pouches for what she would need.
Then the carriage door opened. Baggage had pushed out of it. She was halfway through the window of the door, her belly was on the frame, her hands bracing her torso so she could look over Runa, and her feet were using the door latch for support.
“He’s doing well, right? I think he’s absorbing the Tenka magic as you said.”
Runa hadn’t said that, the one originally from this world must have. Admittedly, it was confusing to keep track.
Runa stepped out of the carriage and into a wheel rut left by one of the many people who could not afford air sleds. Cold mud and water soaked through the boot and her toes felt frigid and damp. She would hate this world if it weren’t identical to her own. From her new vantage point, it was easier to see the battle. His style of fighting emphasized footwork. She saw him briefly stumble in the same wheel rut she stuck her foot in. Runa watched his feet. He was used to flat surfaces. Yes. Yes, a pattern was emerging-
*bump*
Baggage had shifted her weight on the carriage door so it had moved forward and gently bumped into Runa from behind. Baggage hadn't noticed. She had pushed her torso up to fully extend and her knees bent up in the air like a child kneeling on a bench.
And she was biting her lip.
Great. She won’t boff him, literally part of her job, but she’ll admire him from sidelines, not part of her job.
*thunk*
An arrow hit the door beneath Baggage. She ignored it. “I think he’s doing well,” she repeated unnecessarily.
“Baggage,” Runa said evenly. “You’re a non-combatant and should be inside.”
“I’ll be safe. See? Sayaka is running in circles around the bad guys and picking off the ones trying to escape.”
Runa sighed. Despite what the dramas said, if a warrior faced 4:1 odds, fast escape was the smart move. Even 2:1 was dicey, for a normal human. The orcs should not be running away, they should be making Drake their private fun toy.
Baggage was right, he was improving beyond human limits the way all Earth heroes did when their mana-starved bodies were constantly bathed in a vast supply of magic energy.
Drake did something grisly to an opponent and then glanced back at the air sled apologetically. Baggage made a little ‘shoo-shoo’ wave with her hand. He smiled and went back to create more horror and death.
“Baggage,” Runa said patiently, “you have to make him work for your support. Otherwise, any forgiveness you give him won’t feel earned and it will either fester or he’ll think you don’t mind being treated abusivly.”
“Yeah.” said Baggage. “I understand. The battle is exciting though. I never got to do wild things growing up. My parents were strict about academics.”
Wait. What?
“Your parents encouraged you into the eromancy Facilitator program? That’s… rare.”
“My mom sort of failed out when she met my dad. I guess she wanted me to take her place. Oh! Did you see that? Kai-kun footstomped a guy in the chest!”
“Baggage. If you so much as take one step to giving him a victory hug I will burn your clothes right off of you.”
Baggage snorted, “That’s Not happening, Runa. I get it.”
Baggage’s serious face would flip back to politely interested, presumably when Drake did something martially stylish. Then back to serious for some Baggage-type reason.
Runa gave up. She went back into the carriage and plotted her conquest of Earth while trying to ignore Baggage’s rear sticking out the back of the open door.
Wait a minute. Did Baggage really say “Kai-kun”? The suffix for boys? It was how teenage girls might refer to a prospective boyfriend. Seriously? Was that the level of combined emotional growth for those two?
Fine. Runa would give Drake a coupon to a tea shop and instruct Baggage not to eat too many sweets.
She hated this whole universe.
