Breathing hard, I try to control it, slow it down and ever so slowly I do, the frantic rise and fall of my chest slows back to my normal, I look down at my hand and let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. What was I dreaming about to cause me this reaction? All I remember is falling deep into something. Slowly I try to probe my mind for anything about the nightmare that caused me to wake up in a frantic manner. I find nothing besides falling. All every part of me knows is that I was falling fast but for a long time.
Picking myself up quickly I begin writing in the dirt what little I remember. A fall, a deep abyss, and fear. That's all my mind can remember. Staring at my writing I remember some of the lessons that were taught up to the awakening. All dreams have meanings, but newly awakened dreams are special. In those dreams every part of you becomes one again for a short amount of time. Dreams can help a newly awakened shifter find themselves fast. Though from all I can gather from mine isn't anything I can use. Kicking the dirt to erase my writing I get up and prepare what little I have to do before the caravan leaves.
The next few days blur together all of them following the same routine, waking up from dreams that no matter how hard I try to have it stick inside my mind there's nothing but fleeting moments. Once the caravan was ready to head out in the morning we would start on our travels looking for a tribe of shifters, Xertrics seems to be more absent than I thought the most I see of her is out of the corner of my eye and then she's gone. I would have asked if there's any tribe specifically that we're looking for that I might help navigate to the areas that the few I know decide to set up at but the longer I spend with them the more it seems that they don't know where they're going or who they're searching for.
The only difference from the first day that I spent with the caravan was that every time there was a break or when we stopped for the night or right before we started moving in the morning i was teaching the man who poorly tried proposing to me on our first meeting, Salkin he's taking to the language like a fish takes to walking, every time it takes a large amount of time to teach him even a couple words but it's the only time that I actually speak to someone. I learned that his name is Veln, it's a lot easier to say correctly than Xertrics.
I'm not sure why but he doesn't seem to have the same problems as the others in this caravan. Veln never has a problem coming over to me for his lessons in Salkin or just talking to me despite me not understanding what he's saying. It's nice someone is actually speaking to me after my time alone and all the others I'm traveling with ignoring me. They still haven't even motioned for me to join them for dinner or breakfast.
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Yesterday I'm not sure exactly what had driven me to do so the bear, elk and firebearer all remained silent or did they I'm not sure not fully but i like to think that they were, I think it makes me feel better. But yesterday during one of the stops I caught the scent of a doe. It was plain for me to tell where she was and so I went, not caring for the looks that I had gotten or the whispers that were clear in my ears. The words unknown the intent were clear.
I had walked farther into the brush past the game trails the horses were following, drawing ever nearer to the doe sniffing the air ears alert listening for anything that could interrupt my hunt for food. I kept going silent, footfalls hunching over ready to charge and take down the doe when I finally found her. Then I reach a small watering hole and I see her there drinking.
I patiently watch her breathing slowly, waiting and waiting until right as she bends her head down to take one final drink, I lunge forward. She lets out a huff and grunt in pain unable to do more as my jaws find her neck and my claws pierce her lungs. She struggles in my grip trying to fight even though she will die anyway. It's calming how simple this interaction was.
There were no places filled with fear, disdain, or any other emotions, just a simple hunt and struggle for life. Nothing more and nothing less, not anything to cause me pain and struggles in my life. I begin eating as I walk back not caring about saving the fur or anything else with the deer. Once I made it back to the caravan I noticed that they had moved of course they had. Why wouldn't they though I doubt that they moved because they knew I could find my way back to them.
I flopped down in a spot away from all of them as they stare at me and my blood stained clothes and fur but I keep eating, eventually all I have left is a leg that I easily bite through sending a loud snap and crunch through the caravan and the surrounding area. Before I know it there's a shadow being cast over me. It's Veln my want to ignore the camp had made me so easy to sneak up on.
He looks at me and says in broken Salkin “warning… next time… you made… persons worry.”
Looking at him I simply nod not answering not knowing how to but the pit forming in my stomach gets filled a little and becomes lighter. I return to my food as he walks away with a smile on his face. I don't respond in kind to it just focusing on the… it's gone all of the deer that I had worked for were gone. Licking the blood off of my paws no hands then I lay down for the night. The memory of yesterday keeps resurfacing in my mind while giving Veln his final lessons for the day, then my nose catches a scent that makes my heart speed up but my stomach churn.
Telling Veln as easily as I can to go tell Ket the good news for them at least. We're near a shifter tribe though I don't know which. Veln quickly goes to tell Ket as I sit alone dreading what tomorrow will bring.
