I felt pretty conflicted, since I didn't particularly feel guilty about killing a bunch of criminals.
After all, I must have killed a lot of bad people across all the lives that I'd since forgotten. I must have killed a lot of good people too, and probably not for good reasons.
It'd be an insult to those people if I felt guilty about human traffickers of all things.
But...
'Does this mean they don't plan to do anything to us after all?'
"Then... what's the party for...?"
Although I didn't like forming connections with people, it wasn't due to any sense of haphephobia, so I didn't care too much one way or the other about being hugged by someone.
"Huh? Wait, what did you think it was for?" Van asked in a perplexed tone, finally letting me go.
"Uh... going away party?"
"Are you going away?"
When I didn't answer him immediately, he finally answered my own question. "No, it's nothing like that. We're just celebrating you and Lilac returning safely, that's all!"
I was very confused, but since there were a whole bunch of people around, I decided to just ask later.
"Do parties mean going away in the Lost?" He asked.
"I... don't know?"
***
The party food was pretty good.
Although I didn't like accruing connections or debts, and attending a whole party hosted on my behalf was sure one heck of a connection to have made, it was a bit late to do anything about that.
Honestly, not eating anything might be seen as more rude.
That's what I told myself as I ate it, anyway. I convinced Lilac to try some too.
Savi didn't need any particular convincing.
Between being treated like some kind of princess after being kidnapped, and then having a party hosted to celebrate my return, I'd been getting really spoiled lately.
It seemed pretty unhealthy to me.
They asked me to teach them Lost games, but Kazzim hadn't really taught me any.
But the guild happened to have made a few boards made similar to the ones I brought to the last tournament, so it seemed they just thought those had been Lost games from the start.
I taught them how to play a few.
For some reason, they were surprisingly popular with some of the dungeon regulars.
I didn't really understand why.
***
'It's really troublesome...'
These were my thoughts as I considered everything that had happened.
It didn't make any sense for a group of people to protect an outsider at the cost of their own.
Which meant they already considered me one of them.
At least, more than a bunch of crooks and foreign gangsters.
'They know I'm an immortal, and that I'm not from Terra.'
Of course, they didn't know that I was in fact from an impossibly distant place called Atlantis.
'Do they still see me as a child they need to protect? Ah... the name...!'
I'd called myself Kid.
It was just a throwaway name, only meant to help downplay my existence. It wasn't meant to actually stick. In fact, I'd even tried to abandon that identity altogether, back before I'd met Kazzim.
But now, every single person who saw me would instantly know me as Kid, Boss of the Lost.
It was easy for me to forget about it, but that false identity had somehow become the truth of this world.
I was still at the party, so I decided to ask about it.
"Hey, Van. You know how you can tell someone's name when they gain a Skill... or just in general, if they're a dungeon boss?"
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
"Huh? Yeah, sure. What about it?"
"Where does that name come from?"
"Hmm... maybe the Akashic records?"
"Huh?"
"Right, right. That reminds me, I got you something. I dunno if it'll answer your questions, since I can't say I really know the answer either... but you're a smart cookie, I'm sure it'll put you on the right track."
'Huh?'
I watched blankly as he got a book out and handed it to me.
Not a particularly small one either. It was heavy, not to mention clearly expensive.
It had a leather cover that was decidedly old fashioned by imperial standards, one that offered only a single clue about its contents in the form of an embossed title across its front: Scan.
'Hadn't he said he'd get me something about that... wait, this is way too fancy though...'
I looked back up at him, concerned that he'd just given me something worth more than I could make in a year of working... no, probably decades.
Technically, I was an immortal, so time wasn't a big deal for me, but he wasn't.
Was he trying to bind me into some generational debt?
"Use it to teach Lilac too. Nobody in the Empire should discriminate too much against you two, but it's still something you both can use it to build a future for yourselves."
Unfortunately, he didn't give me the chance to protest his gift.
After patting me on the head as I'd done to Lilac plenty of times, he just... well, walked off.
'What the heck... wait, but if he was planning to give this to me all along, how come he only did it after I tried asking him a question?'
Had he just forgotten to give it to me earlier?
***
Van exhaled a sigh of relief.
He'd been carrying that damn book around for weeks.
Of course, he hadn't brought it on missions, since he had separate backpacks for separate purposes, and so it had sat undisturbed in the one he usually took to meetings... nearly ever since he'd first told her he'd give it to her.
When Kid had gotten grabbed, he was even a little worried he'd never get the chance to.
Of course, she was probably unhappy to receive any gift at all, never mind something like that. Skill books were worth more than their weight in gold.
Even if the internet had been slowly making them an obsolete concept, it hadn't quite caught up to them yet.
'Hmm, but I told her to use it to teach Lilac, so she shouldn't be able to complain too much.'
Lilac, he knew, was Kid's one weakness.
Of course, he wasn't just using her as one.
It was like killing two birds with one stone.
Honestly, if either of the two acted a bit more childish, usually the problem would be the other way around: One kid being jealous of whatever another received.
Fortunately, these strange Lost children were particularly selfless and protective toward one another instead. It was still the same problem in some ways, but such selflessness would surely bloom in wonderful ways.
'Though it'd be more wonderful if we could convince them that they don't have to live in a cave...'
After that, he got thoroughly made fun of by his guild mates for suddenly hugging Kid and then trying to look cool before running away.
***
OutsiderFan71: Did something happen with Kid?
RedOwl: It's probably better not to pry.
Hero194: She taught me how to play Division.
Hero194: It was... really cutthroat...
Indigo997: What's that?
Hero194: It's this board game!
***
"Isn't self defense usually punished in the Empire?"
I asked Savi this the next day while watering my plants.
"Well... there's a bit of a memetic reputation for that here compared to other countries, yes. Non-adventurers aren't allowed to carry weapons, and adventurers can be censured for using them recklessly. Why do you ask?"
"Well, it doesn't seem like they're planning to punish me."
"What would they do that for?"
"I shot a bunch of the people who were involved in grabbing Lilac and me."
"Huh..."
Savi mulled the incident over while I finished watering everything.
'There's a stream nearby, but I'll probably need a better system for water once we start growing more food. It doesn't rain here, after all...'
I wondered where all the water went, if rain wasn't part of its cycle.
While I considered such possibilities, Savi had apparently finished thinking about my question.
"I guess it's because you're a dungeon boss. It's natural that if people challenge you, they might die. Your position here is somewhere between a king, or I guess queen, a wild animal, a diplomat, and a person. As long as you don't start incidents, you'll have a lot more leeway to finish them however befits you."
"Isn't that too convenient?"
"It's not really. If you die, another dungeon boss will be crowned, whether eventually or immediately. It could be Lilac, but the dungeon could decide that your death means that diplomacy isn't viable, and crown a monster. That monster could eventually make this dungeon inhospitable. It'd ultimately be a loss for the Empire to go from a mutually beneficial relationship to a hostile one."
"Has that ever happened? I mean, nobody can die in here anyway."
"Yes. Even in beginner dungeons. Not being able to die can be a frightful thing when the world itself is hostile toward you."
"That's very true," I conceded, having experienced such cruelties myself in my past lives.
Not being able to remember them clearly was more likely a blessing than a curse, but even though my memories were hazy, the never-ending whirlwind of suffering was still etched into my soul.
Though, it served no point to dwell on such things, especially when my current life was quite good.
"Thanks as always," I told Savi, grateful for her insight.
It sounded like I had a bit of leverage. Of course, I had no desire to actually take advantage of it, but it was convenient if it meant the Empire could eventually come to view me as given that they didn't have to interact with.
'Although... if Zaitenmodi keeps visiting me... won't I be causing them trouble again and again?'
There didn't seem like any way out of this dilemma.
Speaking of Zaitenmodi, after taking care of my garden, I practiced his meditation technique a bit, before reading the book Van got me.
I figured that if each increased my odds of learning a Skill, perhaps using both would stack and guarantee that I'll learn Scan.
The book was full of its own meticulous and strange rituals, complete with data on how effective each one seemed to be. Although it had a whole chapter supposedly debunking a myriad of allegedly useless approaches, it remained true that nobody knew with any real certainty how to gain a Skill.
It was all just, methods that had no apparent correlation or even a negative correlation with gaining the Skill, versus methods that had a positive correlation.
Of course, extracting causation from correlation was difficult, but since both Terra and Naraka depended on Skills in their own various ways...
Isn't it kind of bad they don't really know how to actually get one?
Well, whatever.
I taught Lilac too.
Without Zaitenmodi's tutoring Skills, it was a lot harder to teach her how to meditate, so who knows if that was actually successful.
I wasn't even sure if I was doing it right. The Demon King himself said that I was, but he was a bit boastful, so it was hard to be sure...
But Van was right. It'd probably be good for Lilac's future if she acquired a few Skills too.
Although, even I still only had the one.
Beginner.