The front of my mage robes are reddish-brown, now.

  They should be blue, but I got soaked in so much blood I think they're beyond saving. The enchantment still works, but those stains aren't going anywhere.

  Oh, well. I'll keep an eye out for good replacements.

  It's been a long day.

  We woke up in Fort Sungard and checked out that last area we didn't look into. It was just as empty as the rest of the fort. Inside was a shrine to Kynareth. There wasn't anything special about it; it was just a normal little shrine, with candles ready and everything.

  There was an alchemy table and some empty coffins downstairs, but that was it. The whole thing was weird and we were all eager to get out of there and back down the hillside to the road.

  We followed the road along the plains' edge and up the steep hillside towards Falkreath. It was quiet, for the most part. We fought a sabercat, but that was it. The weather was bright and pleasant most of the way, and we passed a lot of travelers on the road. We even walked with another group of adventurers for a time.

  I was thankful for that, actually, despite their annoying gossip later on. The bottom of the signpost pointing up the hill towards Falkreath had an arrow for Helgen.

  I don't think I would've noticed it except I stopped to gather flowers that were growing at the base. I jumped back when I saw it and bumped into Lydia, who caught me. She figured out what happened and spun us around so she was blocking the view.

  I heard the screams again and I was having trouble breathing when I heard an unfamiliar voice ask if everything was all right.

  I came back almost instantly. Apparently my head only picked up that there were strangers, and immediately thought they were a threat! I didn't even think. My hands just came up with Flames at the ready! Erandur threw himself between me and the other adventurers and snuffed the fire on my hands with his own. He told me that it was him and that I was safe.

  I apologized as soon as I realized what I almost did, and drank the water Lydia offered me. I took a minute to hug Septim while Valdimar explained to three very confused adventurers that it was just a Spirit Wound acting up.

  They understood, and asked how they could avoid setting me off. Valdimar gestured towards Erandur, who was standing in front of the sign post, blocking my view of the bottom arrow. All he said was that I'd been in Helgen during the dragon attack, and that signs pointing there, well…

  They take me back.

  The trio nodded in understanding, and as we all started up the hillside, the lady fighter with them asked if the name was enough. I said it wasn't, just don't remind me that it's in the direction we're going.

  She said she heard the Dragonborn was at Helgen, too.

  Lydia surprised us all when she spoke. She hadn't until then. She asked what other rumors they'd heard about the Dragonborn.

  The other fighter, an Altmer, said he heard that the Dragonborn called the dragon! That was just a rumor, though. He didn't think it was true.

  The mage, an Argonian, said that he heard the Dragonborn was an Imperial woman, but wouldn't that be just like the Imperials? Of course they'd want to spread the rumor that one of their own was the Dragonborn. A Nord rebel against an Imperial Dragonborn! It was Skyrim versus the Empire, but on a smaller scale. It was just too good to be true, he said.

  He had a point, but I was getting fed up with the gossip, and my friends could tell. Before they could stop me, I snapped that ACTUALLY the Dragonborn is only half Imperial. Her other half's Breton, if they must know.

  The lady asked how I knew, so I turned to glare at them and pulled back my hood to show off my features better.

  I look very Imperial, but I have freckles like what you normally see on Bretons and while I don't have the elf-ish ears that some of them do, mine are a little pointy. I have a bit of a slant to my eyes, too. It's just enough that you can tell if you know what you're looking for.

  The trio got very quiet, but eventually started chatting with my friends while I walked in front.

  Back then, I just concentrated on the climb, but now I can't help but wonder if what the Altmer man said is true.

  Did I call Alduin? I mean, I didn't exactly say a prayer or anything when I put my head on that block, but I did wish that someone would help me.

  Was that enough? Does my connection with Akatosh link me to Alduin? To all dragons and dragonborn?

  Dammit. If I have trouble sleeping I'm blaming that guy.

  Anyway, we walked together until the road split a little ways past a mill. I noticed the Argonian put himself in front of the signpost, and I thanked him for that.

  We wished each other safe travels, then parted.

  Not far down the road the atmosphere started to get all spooky like it does near Falkreath, but somehow it felt… Worse. The howling wolves that burst out of the trees didn't help, either.

  Once the pack was taken care of, we all realized that it was a very familiar sort of feeling in the air. The sound was muffled, and the plants looked less vibrant.

  Erandur said we must be close, and he was right. It was just like the Black Door on the beach in Dawnstar.

  We were on the edge of a stone overhang, and we looked down. Sure enough, we could see a trail, and we followed it. Set into the side of the rock face, deep under the overhang and flanked by nightshade and deathbells, was a Door. The design was just like the one in Dawnstar, but this one was brighter with bits of red on it. It looked...

  I hate to say it, but it looked more "alive."

  There's a pond there, too, but the water's dark, and has a sort of… Filmy look to it. Septim took one sniff of it and hid behind Valdimar.

  I told the others to step back before I went up to the door. Valdimar made me promise not to pickaxe it, though. As I got near, silence covered me like a shroud. I couldn't hear the sounds of the woods, or even my own breath. Just my heart and my blood, roaring in my ears like the sea.

  I heard that same creepy voice like I did in Dawnstar. It asked me, "What is the music of life?"

  "Silence, my brother," I said. I could hear myself speak, but it sounded strange. Almost flat, like the sound didn't echo at all. It was just consumed by silence.

  "Welcome home," it said, then opened.

  I went in, and the door shut behind me without a sound. I was on a small landing at the top of a narrow staircase leading down. Once I got the shivers out of my system, I turned and waited for the others to join me.

  And then I waited some more.

  I started to get nervous, so I went to poke my head outside but the door wouldn't budge! I tried to push it open again, but that creepy voice came back and whispered that "the unworthy" were outside.

  That's when I realized that I never told the others the password. Clearly, they'd tried, failed, and now the door wouldn't open.

  I had to go it alone.

  Rather than try to sneak down the steps, I summoned a Flame Atronach into the lower room.

  I heard a man yelling at it almost immediately, so I rushed down, with my dagger drawn and covered in paralysis poison.

  The man, Arnbjorn, was too occupied with the Atronach to realize I was there. I managed to stab him in the back and paralyze him, right as my Atronach exploded!

  I was sure someone heard that, so I covered my blade in more poison and started stabbing away at him until I knew he was dead.

  I waited, but no one came running, so I took a minute to loot him and look around. He had some nice weapons on him, but what I was most glad to see was a wedding band identical to Astrid's. That's how I knew it was him, and I'm thankful that he didn't turn into a werewolf as soon as he saw the Atronach.

  I was in a small room that sort of looked like an office, with a table and a chair and some shelves. There were two doors; one was an open arch at the top of another set of narrow stairs, and the other led to a bedroom with a double bed and a fireplace. It was quite cozy, actually.

  Still, I took what I could, including some soul gems, and looked down the steps. I couldn't see much of anything besides a dirt floor, so I decided to try the same tactic on whoever was down there. I could hear at least one person, and I didn't want to rush into a group of them!

  This time, my Atronach was destroyed almost immediately, and an Argonian wearing assassin armor came running up the steps towards me, his daggers drawn. I didn't have time to get another summon ready, so I threw a Firebolt at him that staggered him long enough for me to poison my dagger.

  I paralyzed him like I did Arnbjorn, but the poison didn't work very well. He went down for only a little while, but he was slow getting up. I managed to dive behind him, and stabbed him in the back, killing him.

  I didn't hear anyone else down the steps, so I crept down and found myself in a well-lit cavern. There was a waterfall pouring into a little spring full of clear, clean water. Above it was a creepy stained glass window of a skull with more skeletons around it, mostly in red. There was a little forge area off to the left, along with some practice dummies and targets. A flight of steps to the left of the pool went up to a doorway by the window, and another path beyond the practice area went to a ramp that went up and behind a Dragon Wall.

  This wall was quieter than the others. I didn't hear it until I got nearer, but I was careful to not get too close. I didn't want that pull to drag me forward just yet. There were still assassins in there, and I didn't know if it would knock me out or not!

  There was a door to the right of the spring, across from the wall, so I went that way.

  I next found an old man in his room. He turned out to be a mage, so he mostly concentrated on warding against my Atronach and trying to fight that, rather than attacking me. I placed a lightning rune behind him, and used Shock magic to finish him off.

  I'm glad he didn't focus on me. You don't get to be an old assassin unless you're good at what you do!

  I wandered through a few more rooms in a side area. They were small bedrooms, but one of them was strange.

  There was a stone bed, like what I've seen in Markarth, but it was small.

  As in, child-sized.

  It looked recently used. There was a cabinet with some children's dresses in it as well, and a side table with a hand basket full of fresh flowers on it, like what Sofie carries with her. The whole thing felt eerie, and… Off.

  I got out of there and went into the room on the other side of that creepy window. I found a little side area with a table set up for food, and through the door next to that saw a Redguard man dressed like an Alik'r warrior.

  He cut down my Atronach in a few hits, but I had enough time to absolutely carpet the path to me in Flame Runes!

  I did have to stab him a few times, but like the others, I paralyzed him first.

  The door led to a landing set up with a bunch of beds and dressers. Clearly this was their main sleeping area, and below was their kitchen and dining room. If you ignored the skulls and bones arranged artfully everywhere, it had a nice, homey look to it.

  The far side of the dining room had a doorway with stairs going up, so I put a Flame Atronach at the foot of the stairs in case anyone heard the Flame Runes exploding.

  A small Frostbite Spider came down the steps and attacked my Atronach, and I could hear a woman in the room beyond. I ran down into the dining area and threw a Flaming Familiar at the steps, and the fire wolf dashed up. I heard it explode, and I redirected my Atronach to the top of the steps.

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  The assassin in the room, a Dunmer woman, had a bow. We traded shots at each other once the Atronach was gone, her with arrows and me with fire. Eventually I was able to put another Atronach up there, and I kept sending exploding familiars at her until she was dead.

  That room was a work area, with alchemy gear and an enchanting table. There was also a little pit to the side, covered in webs and with a skeleton in it. I realized that the spider was someone's pet!

  Eww.

  The skeleton had a note on it, and whoever he was, he was an idiot. He'd been spying on the Dark Brotherhood for some reason, and was determined to get inside.

  Not like this, I'm sure!

  Anyway, I came out above the Dragon Wall, and by this time the noise was so loud I could barely think. I went up to it, and even though I braced myself, it still hit me hard. The word left me shivering and gasping, but not with cold. My stomach dropped, and I could feel my energy leaving my body, like my very life was being drained away. My sight darkened, and I felt like I was sinking. I came to when my knees hit the floor, and I felt so weak I had to pull myself up!

  Something tells me it's more of that one Shout I don't like using, the one I'd used on Astrid.

  I did a quick second sweep to see if anyone was hiding, and to loot everything I could carry. The place was clear, so I headed up the steps and left.

  It was dark by the time I got out of there, and when I did the others stared to rush towards me, but stopped in their tracks. Even Septim didn't jump up like he usually does.

  I was covered in blood and gore.

  Still, they were glad to see me, and I quickly reassured them that only a little bit of the blood was mine! They asked what happened, and I started to tell them, but then my headache got too much and I had to go retch in the nightshade by the door.

  I'd not been too injured, but I used so much magic I was almost entirely out of Magicka potions. I think I drank a keg's worth!

  Erandur led me to a stone and had me sit and drink some water. He warmed up a cup of tea for me, too, while Valdimar told me what happened after they went in.

  They couldn't follow me because they didn't know the password (I apologized for not telling them) and after some testing, they discovered that anyone close enough for the door to talk to couldn't be heard. There was some sort of bubble around the door where no sound could enter or escape.

  That explains it. I thought they heard me.

  Anyway, I was filthy, my head hurt, I was still a little sick to my stomach, and I was dead tired. So, we headed for here. According to the map, the town was just over the ridge on the other side of the creepy pond.

  And it was! We stepped out of the woods and right into the little cemetery behind the Hall of the Dead. We quickly made our way to town, and we heard the sounds of a fight! A vampire and two Death Hounds were attacking a guard.

  Runil ran forward out of nowhere to join the guard in the fight. Septim bolted in to help, and I summoned a Flame Atronach. The others went after the Death Hound, and Erandur charged the Vampire.

  Runil didn't use any spells, just a dagger, but the old mer's scarily good with a knife!

  The vampire and his pets went down quickly after we joined the fight, and after taking all we could from him, we went to Dead Man's Drink.

  Valga took one look at me and asked if I wanted to try their new bath.

  I was the only one really in need of one, so the others freshened up and tried to clean my robes while I relaxed in the tub. They also ordered me a bit of food and a drink before bed.

  I'm working at the little table in my room, writing before I sleep.

  We didn't make any plans during our late dinner. We mostly just grabbed a quick bite and went to our rooms, but we'll figure it out. I still want to go back to the lighthouse. We could swing through Whiterun to resupply, go to the lighthouse, then go home before we head for Markarth.

  Yeah, that sounds good. I don't think the others will argue. We'll sell our goods tomorrow, then be on our way.

  We're back in Breezehome tonight. It was a quiet day, but it felt longer than it should. That's probably because we did so much walking. You know how travel is!

  We got up this morning in Falkreath, and did a bit of trading. Picked up some Fire Salts at Grave Concoctions, sold some things at Grey Pine Goods, and went to Lod's to get rid of the extra armor and weapons we picked up.

  Lod's still looking for that dog, but we haven't seen it. He showed us a few things he came up with for whenever he does get one, and asked if he could try them out on Septim.

  I keep forgetting to get Septim a collar, so I was glad to have Lod fit him for some things. He had a few different packs for him to try on, and he made some adjustments so they sat well on him.

  Septim, thank the Nine, was a good boy and let him do his work without any complaints.

  The last thing he had Septim try on was a harness, and Septim seemed to be quite comfortable wearing it! It didn't take much to fit to him, so after Lod took some notes on how to fix it for other dogs, I bought it from him. As thanks for being such a good boy, Lod gave Septim a small leather ball!

  I hope he finds that dog. It's going to be spoiled rotten!

  Anyway, we thanked Lod and got on the road. We decided to cut through Riverwood on our way towards Whiterun, in case we came across anything else to sell on the way there.

  Well, aside from a few bears and wolves, the trip to Riverwood was quiet. The weather was actually quite nice, too, and it didn't start to get cold until we got near the town.

  Lydia asked if we should check in with Delphine, but I didn't feel like it. If it was urgent, she knew where to find us. I ducked in to the Riverwood Trader to see if Camilla and her brother had anything interesting. They didn't, but I got some soul gems anyway.

  Things got a bit exciting as soon as we left the shop, though. A bandit rushed out from a side street and attacked a lady traveler, but he didn't see that a guard was right there! Septim bolted forward, and so did Lydia.

  The thief was down in seconds.

  -/-/-/-/-/-

  Okay, Lydia's hair is braided, and now it's my turn!

  That bandit was honestly the only bit of excitement today, aside from the bears and wolves. We took some time to play with Septim as we walked, taking turns throwing the ball. I'm glad for his new gear. He ran past a traveler up ahead of us while he was chasing a rabbit. The man was surprised, and looked like he was about to attack Septim until he noticed the harness.

  The man looked back, saw us farther up the hill, and waved.

  It's obvious that he's our dog, and that makes me glad.

  I wonder if I can enchant the harness to help protect him? Maybe shield him from Flame spells, since we use a lot of those?

  That's worth looking at later on. I'm just glad he doesn't mind wearing it. He actually seems to like it!

  Even as we walked through Whiterun, people were a lot friendlier to him when they saw he was clearly someone's pet. The guards even patted his head as we walked by!

  It was late when we got here, and the shops were closed. We were all cold and tired from the hike, too, so we decided to stay in for the evening and relax.

  So, we had dinner, took turns washing up, and now my hair is done, too.

  While Lydia worked on my hair, she said that we wouldn't have to room together when we stayed at inns anymore.

  She's right!

  Since the assassins started coming after me, we'd been getting a room with two beds, or sharing a double if that's what they had.

  Valdimar couldn't resist a setup like that, so he nudged Erandur and said that now they can share the double if he wanted!

  Erandur shot Valdimar a doubtful look that got him laughing, but while Valdimar was distracted, Erandur leaned over and whispered something in his ear that made him turn red and almost fall over in his chair!

  You know, as much fun as it is to see Erandur get flustered, seeing Valdimar being teased is just as good! I'm so glad I told Erandur to start flirting back.

  After we calmed down, Erandur got up to do his prayers. Valdimar called up the steps that he'd better ask Mara's forgiveness for having such a mouth on him! Erandur shot back that if he couldn't handle his words, his mouth would probably kill him!

  This got Lydia and I cackling again, and Valdimar wondered what had gotten into the priest once he heard the door shut.

  Before I could say anything, Lydia pointed out that he was the one who started "this little game", and that got them talking about why Erandur was suddenly playing along.

  I decided not to say anything, and kept writing while she braided.

  It's more fun this way!

  Still, I'd better finish my drink and get to bed. Valdimar's headed upstairs already, and Lydia's almost ready, herself. We have some trading to do before we can get on the road tomorrow.

  And I'm back at the same table where I was dragged from, here in the lighthouse of blood and death.

  Well, it's less bloody now. We did a bit of cleaning so it wouldn't start to smell.

  Anyway, after a quick breakfast we went out to sell our goods in the market and see if anything caught our eye. Belethor was as slimy as ever, but at least I was able to sell most of what we got on the road.

  We went to Adrienne's to see what she had on offer, and she asked for a small favor. She wanted me to deliver a greatsword to Dragonsreach that she made for Balgruuf. She asked that we give it to her father so that he could present it for her when the time was right.

  It was beautiful, and Lydia said as much.

  We agreed to run it over for her, and went up to Dragonsreach.

  The replacement Gildergreen is doing great, by the way.

  Proventus was impressed by his daughter's handiwork, and gave us a few coins for our trouble. He said he'd present it to Balgruuf when the time was right.

  Lydia requested a private audience with Irileth and Balgruuf so she could tell them about the Dark Brotherhood. I handed her the ring I took from Arnbjorn in case they needed proof.

  The rest of us went to see Farengar while they talked.

  He gave me a sneer when he saw my stained and heavily-patched robes. He said that he had some robes for sale, if I was interested?

  I found some stronger ones than what I was wearing, and although I didn't get much in trade for my old robes, I was glad to have a set that wasn't covered in blood and held together with patches!

  When we were finished in Dragonsreach, we went to Arcadia's. I sold some spare potions and got some Ice Wraith Teeth.

  That was all we had to do, so we left Whiterun and set off for here.

  We skipped the road and just headed north. We'd not gotten far when we ran into a bandit camp practically in the shadow of Dragonsreach! There were two men there, and we saw a sabercat attack their horse and carriage. The horse bolted, and we went to help them.

  We didn't realize they were bandits at first, but as soon as the sabercat was dead they turned on us! So, we killed them, and I started looking through their stuff.

  It was a nice place, actually. There's a big overhang to keep the heat in, a table, some shelves… Not a bad setup, for being so out in the open. We were seeing what we could find when suddenly, three more bandits rushed us! They'd been out doing something, and they weren't happy to see us rummaging through their goods.

  We killed them, and then took all of their stuff and left. We kept going north, and came across a farm with a windmill. Right about then, the weather started to get colder.

  We spotted the road we needed, so we went to follow it and walked past a guard wearing armor for the Pale.

  We fought a frost troll on the way, but no ice wraiths, sadly. We turned to head towards Nightgate Inn, but we made such good time we decided to keep going, and headed up through the pass.

  Erandur and I were freezing, but we made it. I got another blessing at the shrine of Arkay up top, and I made a little promise to do my best to take care of Habd's remains. Went down the other side, and in the ruins of Alftand came upon a fight between some Stormcloaks and Imperial soldiers.

  I didn't know what to do! Lucky for me, the fight was over almost as soon as we got there.

  The Stormcloaks won, so we took what we could off the Imperial soldiers and went on our way before Erandur and I froze to death.

  I wasn't too happy to be back in the shadow of this place, but I was glad for the big stack of firewood in there. Valdimar got a fire going, then we took care of Ramati once we'd warmed up.

  Then, we went down the steps, back into the basement.

  None of the chaurus eggs had hatched while we were gone, so we were able to get through the whole thing without any fuss. I found Habd's remains - well, his skull, at least - inside the chaurus reaper, and I hoped that would be enough.

  We took a moment to tend to Mani and Sudi's bodies before we left. They deserved better than what happened to them, but at least we could do right by them, as much as we could.

  And then it was Habd's turn. We went to the very top of the lighthouse, and looked out over the sea. It's windswept, cold and desolate, but I can see the beauty he saw in it. Sort of reminds me of the swamp back home.

  Erandur had the skull and said a few words before handing it up the ladder to me. I tossed it into the lighthouse fire, and the flames roared furiously, then died down to where they had been.

  You know, I'm almost afraid to sleep here! I mean, I know Astrid's not going to come get me, but still. At least this time we took lots of precautions. We only ate and drank what we brought in with us, and didn't touch anything else.

  Lydia and Valdimar went out together on patrol, and made Erandur promise not to let me out of his sight while they were gone.

  I mean, I can't blame them for being paranoid.

  Erandur told me how distraught they'd been. He wasn't sure, but he was almost certain he saw Lydia trying not to cry when they realized that I'd been kidnapped.

  Even as he told it, he started to blink a lot, so I gave him a hug and thanked him for making sure the others were all right.

  And for caring about me.

  No one really did once Dru and I were kicked out of the orphanage. I mean, sure, I had friends, and a few failed romances, but I don't think for a minute any of them (except probably Dru) would stick their necks out for me the way my friends here do.

  Erandur was surprised at that, and said that he should be the one thanking me!

  I asked him what for, and he said…

  Gods. I held it together while he was talking. I'll try not to smear the ink.

  He thanked me for asking him to join us, and for accepting him. He said, "The warmth in my heart is like when I first came to Mara."

  He said he never would've known this if he'd stayed behind in Nightcaller Temple. He said that traveling with us made him realize that he didn't understand Love as much as he thought he did. Caring about others and loving them was only the beginning, he said.

  He started rambling a bit, and I just listened. I could tell these were things he'd wanted to say for a while, and that he just had to have someone listen while he thought out loud.

  He said his "exile" in Nightcaller Temple wasn't because he loved the people of Dawnstar or wanted to protect them. It was his guilt and shame over what he'd done to his brothers and sisters in the cult. He told me that shame is the opposite of love, and he realized that the guilt that inspired his prayers "poisoned" his worship.

  He said it was no mystery why his shrine couldn't keep the dark forces of the Skull of Corruption at bay. He spent his time begging for forgiveness he didn't really need, deliberately turning his back on the light She offered freely, rather than thanking Her for the friendships and love She'd brought into his life.

  He wondered if all of his shame and fear was feeding the Skull. He certainly had night terrors enough for it to draw power from, and plenty to inspire them.

  I tried to reassure him that there's no way to know. With everything going on in Skyrim, it's not like the Skull would be starving for fuel!

  Either way, he said, people had died, and it was his fault, but he realized that he could only beg forgiveness so many times, and for so long.

  "It's love, not shame, that She sees."

  He thanked me for helping him see that, and how dwelling on the past didn't do any good. I told him that saying I learned from Miss Agrippina: "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."

  He liked that, and said he was a far cry from a saint. I pointed out that he was a pretty good priest, though! A priest who had prayers to get to, he reminded me. He asked if I minded, and I told him to go ahead.

  He always did his prayers in private, or at least off to the side somewhere where we couldn't really hear or see him. I realized that aside from tending to the dead or other quick things while we were out, I hadn't actually seen him pray.

  He knelt by the fire and put his hands out with his palms up like I've seen a lot of priests do, closed his eyes, and start whispering to himself. Sometimes he put his hand over his heart, or both, and other times he gestured. The longer he went on, the more it felt like a conversation between him and his Lady.

  I've never seen a priest pray like that, but he's not exactly a normal priest.

  I started writing while he prayed. Septim had been sleeping by the door, and came over to lay down next to Erandur once he started. After a little while, Lydia and Valdimar came back in, hauling some wolf pelts and troll fat.

  Erandur stopped his prayers and we both went to help them get out of their armor. They said there'd been a massive fight between two frost trolls and a pack of wolves a bit down the road. They decided to just watch and wait to see who won, then take care of the victors.

  Once we were all settled, Lydia reminded me about that door outside.

  I'll have to check it tomorrow.

  Speaking of Lydia, I need to go poke at her. She's a bear to wake up, no matter how much sleep she's gotten, but it goes better if I do it slowly.