The Sevii Islands, North of One Island, Mt. Ember

  KWUAAAAK!

  "I'm sorry, sorry!" I picked myself up after a miracle stumble from the rocky path, dodging a tongue of flame doing so. My retarded brain just had to get the splendid idea of picking a fight with the region's most stubborn dickhead.

  BWUAAAA! KAAAAA!

  My words seem to taunts on the damn chicken even further as I feel a great heat gathering behind me.

  "Ah, goddammit! Slimeball! Go make yourself useful."

  "Bw-bui?!" The purple blob slushing alongside my feet made a shocked expression.

  "No~ the flaming maniac behind us. Yes you, of course I'm talking about you!"

  "Bwui-tou!!!"

  "Don't worry your sacrifice won't be forgotten. I'll make sure you'll get an open casket funeral or you prefer to be free in the wind as scattered ashes instead?"

  "Toouuu!"

  "Right right, Dittoes don't leave behind ashes. Not a problem, I'll scoop you up later as that bird's shit- THE POINT IS JUST TRANSFORM INTO SOMETHING!"

  "Biiii- LASTOISE!"

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  KWUAAAAAAA!

  After the stupid slime finally feels the dangerous heat levels behind us, it transforms into that prick's iconic blue turtle. The fried chicken hot on our asses appears to be on the verge of unleashing its fire after our bantering probably egged it on even more.

  "Fuck it, forget about the PP! Hydro Canon its ass Slimeball!"

  At that moment the Moltress' supercharged Fire Blast left its mouth while Ditto's lacking-compared-to-the-original-but-still-damn-powerful geyser of destruction aimed true and both met half way.

  BOOOOOOM!

  A mighty tremor shook the mountain's entire peak, scaring all wild pokemon down the slopes. Of course, I wasn't sitting with my thumb in my ass as it happened.

  "Molester, get us out!"

  "Mime!"

  Under the steamy smokescreen, Molester got out and teleported the three of us to the island's beach. With the purple flubber swaying out of commision due to Hydro Canon's backlash, and as a petty revenge for harassing me all day, I got my backup ready.

  "Trigger it!"

  "Mime!"

  Using his telekinesis Molester lifted the arm of the unconscious Explosion Maniac, knocked out by yours truly, and signalled to the slow Gravallers halfway up to the summit.

  BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! ... BOOM!

  Like cascading line of dominoes, the line of the slow-moving Gravellers and Macargoes escaping the Moltress' wrath fell victim to the Explosion Maniac's perversion with explosions teaching all surrounding wildlife to go with a bang, all went with a bang out of habit. That old man will definitely get along with a certain crimson demon clansman and a certain black robed artist if he survives the aftermath.

  KAAABOOOOOM!!!

  KREEEEEEAAAAAAAA

  By the time the explosion chain reached to top, pissing off the ghetto phoenix to no limits, we were scrambling the fuck out of there and into the sea. Good luck to the next poor sod who faces the rage of this deep-fried pecker.

  "Faster! Faster! You're a fucking turtle, aren't you? Doesn't mean you have to be slow as one! I'll turn you into turtle soup if you don't go faster!"

  "Mime Mime Mime Mime!"

  "Bwaa~toooise"

  Under Molestor's and my encouragement, the stubby turtle whines while paddling faster.