This must be... The Void. Where all is connected, yet where no place ever meets. The area between realms, planets, molecules.

  Hello darkness, my old friend.

  Nah, i'm just kidding. I have no idea where the hell I am. Maybe I should have a useless monologue, like all those protagonists, who, in the end... get together with a sexy lady... and smash... which will never happen to me, considering i might no exist anymore. Who knows, though? As Socrates said, "I think therefore I am."

  Was it Socrates? I tend to forget these things. Even if you have trained your memory from a young age, I guess it's hard to remember trivial things, huh.

  So, onto that monologue.

  I woke up after being horribly brutalized by an unknown being of unfathomable power, only to see myself staring into a never ending dark expanse. It was quite painful, if I must say(or think), being smashed by multiple objects protruding from the ground.

  Continuing to stare into this abyss, I wait for something to stare back. Waiting for some response in this never ending, horrible realm. Nothing greets me, especially not the warmth and satisfaction that comes with seeing the light. However, i have grown used to this darkness. I was born in it, raised in it, never leaaving the path of the chuuni.

  Aaaaand, that got boring really quickly. Maybe, if I lay here~, if I just lay here~. Sorry, went a bit off track with that one. I can't even 'lay', or get laid, for that matter...

  Man, I am really childish. Probably because I was a twelve year old just two years ago. No, it could never be that.

  So, time to... relieve my boredom. Somehow. Who knows? Maybe this is fantasy. Sometimes, the most unexpected things are the outcome. Like, hmm... Status!

  It... didn't work? Wow. That was... actually unexpected. I guess it is true that sometimes the most unexpected thing is the outcome. Since, obviously, just willing the status into existence would be impo-

  Yes! It worked! Reverse psychology, Biatch!

  Maybe... In the same way I could make all my titles in Japanese, since that would be amazing. However, that is just a far off drea-

  Yes! That also worked! Wait, why is the title Mushi? Doesn't that mean bug? Am I so amazing, that the system considers me a bug!? Let's see for ourselves.

  Huh...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  ...

  Wait, what!?

  Oh, oh god. I... I remember conception. That... is not pleasant. Why is my only other memory about a family heirloom? Why is the heirloom a relatively new hammer? Why was this body in a coma?

  Well, who cares? I'm just happy to be alive.

  I try opening my eyes, and they are immediately assaulted by an overwhelming bright light. It takes some time to get used to. After blinking, a few hundred times, I believe that I am ready to take in all the sights.

  The first sight that greets me is a hammer laying next to me. A very specific hammer. The very hammer I was writing a story about.

  Also the fact that I am a toddler. Ohhh, I remember now. As an excericise to raise my vitality, my father smashed my head with this hammer, about... 3000 times a day.

  I don't get it.

  What the hell?

  That doesn't even make sense. How am I still alive? Though, it does make sense that I was in a coma... even though it was only for around a day. Still, who does that to a toddler?

  So, my hammer leveled up, simply because it was beating me to death?

  Why am I a beastman?

  Why do I have Godly Vitality?

  Why am I-

  "Rick! It's time for our daily session!"

  Is this real?