Just one second

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Yo, what, NO PLEASE HOLY SHIT. CALM DOWN WHAT THE FUCK. PUT THAT FUCKING SWORD AWAY. PLEASE.

  I'M SORRY. IMSORRYIMSORRYMOMDAD.JESUSCHRISTIMSORRYPLEASE.

  *begins crying hysterically, isn't able to hear anything being said to them. Passes out*