The Goblin-looking-thing died. I crushed its head in. I start shaking. Even though I have been training for this my whole life, actually killing something is hard. I take a good look at the Goblin thing.

  I guess that confirms that it is, in fact, a Goblin. "Wait, from what I recall, he wasn't alone. I was being chased by at least 3 of them." I mutter. I really need to stop talking to myself. I wonder if there is a loot screen or-

  Okay. Loot.

  Ooh, that's a nice upgrade. Thunk. An arrow slams into the tree just to my right. "Ah, there you are you little bastard," I say. 'You're dead." I take the sword and equip it. I spin around and see the little green asshole 20 feet away nocking another arrow. I charge at him in a zig-zag formation so he can't get a good shot on me. Woah, I'm a little bit faster than usual. Stat bonuses are pretty cool. I try to skewer the Goblin, but he dodges out of the way at the last second. I turn towards him and slash at him, he tries to dodge again, but I am able to get a glancing blow off of his arm. It screeches in my ear and pulls a dagger from a sheath on his belt. He takes a stab at me, but I spin out of the way, but because I'm not used to my current speed, I lose my balance and fall to the ground. He sees an opportunity to deal a finishing blow, but he overextends himself and loses his balance toppling onto me. While he is trying to get his senses back, I put him in a chokehold. I hear wood splinter. He struggles for a good 20 seconds before passing out, after he passes out I push him off of me. I stand up and stab him through the throat.

  So, if the victim is unconscious and it's a critical hit, it's instant death? That seems kind of broken. Nothing was really different about this Lesser Goblin Archer and the Lesser Goblin Fighter from before. The Archer has the less HP but more Stamina. They are both the same level. It dropped a Low-Grade Goblin Bow which does 10-12 piercing damage, but the arrows broke when I put him in the chokehold. Now, where is the third fucker? BOOM. A burst of flame hits my back, searing me and taking 79% of my HP. "Oh, fuck," I exclaim "It's a mage!" I turn around once again and see the little green motherfucker pointing a staff at me. On the top of the staff, there seems to be a red gem. The red gem is also on fire. I jump out of the way to dodge the fireball. It hits a tree trunk and sets it on fire. "Oh just what we need, asshole," I shout "A forest fire." I just so happened to land by the tree that the Archer's arrow that was fired at me landed in. I yank it out and grab the bow off my back. I take careful aim at the Goblin mage and shoot the arrow. Thawk. It pierces his left eye, I hear it screech. 'Fucking bullseye!" I exclaim in happiness. It looks at me with hatred with its one good eye. The arrow didn't kill it. A fucking arrow in its eye didn't kill it. "What the fuck." He starts casting another spell. I duck behind the tree where I got the arrow from. Woosh. I hear the fire hit the tree, and I come out of hiding and rush him. If I calculated right, It'll take me 2.4 seconds to get to the Goblin, and it takes him 3.2 seconds to cast the fireball. I pull my sword out mid-sprint and stab him right through the guy. A little bit of blood come out of its mouth as it dies. "Sayonara, bitch."

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  Oh god, that was a cheesy ass line. I'm glad no one was around to hear me say that. I open up the mages stat and loot menus. Oh goody, another level up.

  Holy Shit! That is a powerful as hell weapon! 30-45 base damage and I learned my first spell! Another superpower? That's 2 in one day! How do Intelligence and Wisdom affect magic? Ding!

  I should probably check all the others too.

  Woah, I really need to upgrade my Luck some. Dang, I was hoping it would tell me what the question marks were. I upgrade my stats, and they look like this. I also customize my Character Sheet. I really don't need to see my weight and eye color everytime I need to look at it.