'WTF is this, impossible mode! I mean seriously, an ember is usually after a fire so I have what 5-10 minutes to live!'
30 seconds later...
Random Boy 1 walks in with a bucket of water. "Sheesh, why do I have to put out the embers, why can't someone else?!?!" He says with a obnoxious, bratty voice. He then proceeds to pour the water onto our hero who immediately dies with his last thoughts being, 'F*ck you Santa Claus.'
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'WTF, why is it so dark?!?! Did they make me reincarnate inside of the egg?!?!'
Little did our MC know, he was actually reborn inside an egg that would soon be used to make someone's breakfast.
Random Person 1 picks up the egg, cracks it, releasing its delicious, golden delight and killing our 'SUPER LUCKY!' MC again in the process.
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'Why does this always happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why am I always so tasty? Find out next time on Dr*gon B*ll Z.'
Random Child 1 tosses a chicken nugget covered with BBQ sauce into his or her mouth, chews it up and swallows it, killing our amazingly lucky MC in the process.
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After countless more deaths(actually it was 96), our MC had a message pop up into his face, that is, if he had one.
'Status'
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
'WTF is with my luck and that no luck skill. I understand the rest but seriously, WTF is with my luck. Please, Sage, give your divine wisdom to me.'
'Use the force.'
'Thank you, Mr.Sage.'
'Oh no, I really am going senile. I'm talking to myself. It's just like that breaking news guy said...Oh wait that was also me!?!?'
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'What. The. F*ck. Why am I so tasty to eagles and how do they know what I taste like?!?! Well, at least I'm finally human.'
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2 months later...
'Checkmate, I win. What are we at now?'
'213 wins me, 213 you and 213 draws'
'Wait, who are you?'
'I'm you, you must be going senile.'
'Nah, that was about two months ago.'
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While waiting in his new mothers womb, our hero, Haruto, developed and max leveled a skill called Mind Space. It allows the user to make a space in their mind in which they can use to do whatever they want, which in this case, was playing chess against a mirror image of himself. He also unlocked the chess skill but even with all the games he has played, he didn't level it up that much, probably because he has a poor aptitude for it.
Coincidentally, this skill could also help him practice martial skills or magic but he wouldn't realize that usage until a bit in the future...Well hopefully he would.
Wait, there is a new development within our MC, what could possibly be happening to him? People sometimes need a different opinion, POV Change!
(Author-sama's POV Change magic! Yay!)
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'We get updates!?!? This is amazing! Let's try all the new options!'
'Options'
'Eeh, I don't really like the way that the blue and white go together but I can't change them so, who cares. Next on our list, Shop'
'What should I buy? Hmm, oh yes, I want a kitten lets just go through about, lets say, a lot of pages to get to it, no problem with that at all.'
'Well, nothing else to do, might as well start looking.'
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After countless pages(13), our hero, Haruto, finds something that interests him. What interests him is two skills, one called Disembodied Voice and the other one is called Advice of a Sage. They interest him in, not what they're called but what they do.
The first one, Disembodied Voice, grants the user a disembodied voice which will chat with the user and maybe give him or her advice. Which was interesting because who doesn't want a creepy disembodied voice following them around and watching their every move.
The second one, Advice of a Sage, is interesting because in times of confusion or peril, the user will receive advice from a sage. What's so interesting about it is that our MC has already gotten advice from a sage before so this skill could probably be gotten from repetition. That means he could get this skill for free, F-yeah, free stuff!
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'Oh great and wise Sage, how can I receive advice from you more often?'
'To easily defeat an army, kill the leader. To easily attract a Sage, offer some porn.'
'Thank you, oh so wise Sage.'
'F-yeah, just like I totally planned thoroughly to the tiniest detail.]
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{Author's Note}As you can tell, our MC has managed to acquire a skill for free just by reading the description of it and guessing what to do to get it. What a bastard he is, what a bastard he is.
Yes, I agree.
Who are you!?!?
I'm You?
Why is that a question?!?!
Is it?
Argh!!!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the second installment of Whatever This Is Called When I Publish It.
