------

  “Have I already mentioned how much I dislike escort missions?” Yoruichi complained for the umpteenth time.

  "No, you haven't. Please tell us more. We'd love to hear you expounding on the issue further." Edirah shot back sarcastically.

  "I'm glad you asked!" Yoruichi exclaimed with a nasty smile. "Those you're escorting are invariably stupid. Even if they are supposedly generally intelligent, when it comes to protecting their lives, they suddenly turn into slobbering idiots. When we tell them to stick together, they scatter because they think surely we didn't mean them specifically. Just the others. They just need to do this one little thing that won’t take long. Except it always takes longer than they think. When we tell them to take the shortest route, they make detours because they heard about this one thing they simply must deal with and/or buy. Surely we didn’t mean to prevent them from making their wife/husband/mistress/child happy? Or stop them from making just a bit of extra profit.”

  "Don't forget the fact that they always move slowly when we need them to move fast, and then decide to move fast when we need them to move slowly," Yrel added helpfully.

  "Thank you Yrel. I almost forgot that little nugget of pleasure. And when we tell them to hold position, they invariably bolt, because they’re cowardly chickenshits.” Yoruichi continued her tantrum.

  "I dislike the Drukhari even more," Wrex grunted. "Bloody pyjaks keep appearing and disappearing from out of nowhere. They take a couple of shots and then vanish. They never stick around for a proper battle, and we can't give chase because then they'd attack the suddenly defenseless and erratic group of ships we're supposed to be escorting. At least the Necrons have the decency to give a proper fight, even if they aren't very satisfying to kill."

  "Sounds like you're all having a great time," Seraphiel announced as she entered the bridge after her break at the bar. "Sounds like you want to take another shift and allow the rest of us to take a proper rest. I can go back to the bar if you want.”

  They were working in three shifts like most military vessels. "Aww heck no! The only time we get any real peace is when you're on shift. None of the escorted are stupid enough to get uppity with you, and the Drukhari don't actually try attacking while you're willing to take just clap your hands and send them inside the nearest star." Yoruichi practically leaped from the captain's chair to stop Seraphiel from leaving.

  "It's actually rather suspicious how quickly they learned when not to attack," Wrex grumbled some more.

  "Oh, I assume their spies among the Aeldari traders told them," Seraphiel stated cheerily.

  "Of course they have spies," Wrex complained loudly while lifting his arms theatrically towards the ceiling. "Why wouldn't they?! Damn elves and their space counterparts!"

  Seraphiel just laughed. “Now, now. You should all be happy the rest of you chucklefucks get to fully rest while I’ll maintain the fort by myself. Well, me and Ashredar.”

  “Someone has to stop you from making stupid decisions.” The AI joked.

  "And I'm sure everyone appreciates that," Seraphiel responded good-naturedly.

  The rest trundled off with some complaints. She wasn’t actually left alone on the bridge, as one of the Draenei stuck around as a communications officer, while another one was maintaining watch on the scanners. There was always a strike team ready to go on the lower decks as well. It was likely people would visit her during her shift, so she wasn’t going to be as lonely as she implied.

  It still felt a little odd to just be escorting a small flotilla of Aeldari trade vessels as they visited multiple worlds for supplies and all sorts of goods not available on the craftworlds. Some of those goods might have even been somewhat questionable in nature, such as weapons, but that was none of their business. They had not been hired to ask questions. The transition from outright war to babysitting traders was a little jarring though. It was relaxing in comparison, and she certainly didn't mind a bit of activity and fighting where the fate of nations didn't hang in the balance, but it wasn't exactly heart-pounding action when it came to entertainment. That was always the downfall of guard duty. Most of the time it was boring, as nothing happened, and you easily lost focus and got sloppy. Hopefully, they'd be professional enough to avoid that.

  She closed her eyes for a moment, just extending her senses outwards. She could faintly sense the Drukhari vessels, hidden by their stealth systems, circling them like prey. Yet they kept wisely kept away. As she opened her eyes again, there were two new presences on the bridge. “Mother. Brother.” She said simply, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

  "Sephy, darling, you never come to visit anymore," Lucifer complained.

  “And you only call for me when there’s trouble. Never just to talk.” Charlotte Richards added her own protestations.

  For some reason, the two Draenei officers on the bridge didn’t seem to notice anything.

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  “Well, you gave me the option to not deal with the System anymore.” She said to Lucifer, deciding to ignore Mother for now.

  “And I said you could visit! Don’t forget that part. I said you were welcome to spend time at the penthouse. I’d fix you a drink or five. We could even jump in the jacuzzi or go downstairs into the club. I could play the piano for you. You know I sing, right?” Lucifer coaxed her.

  "Luci, we're angels. Being able to sing is in the job description." She responded with a deadpan voice.

  “Never helped with Uriel.” Luci’s face got a bit sad. “He always was the most unfortunate of us. He had one great gift and then drew the short stick on everything else.”

  “Father always did say that imperfections are what makes the mortals great. Considering His like for the mortals, maybe Uriel was His favorite.” She shrugged, rather disinterested. She’d never been close to Uriel.

  Lucifer gave a chuckle. “Actually, we discovered some time ago that Amenadiel was His favorite. Don’t ask. His most favored son, or other such trite.”

  “Hey now, don’t mock poor Amenadiel. He’s always been too serious, but he’s a good boy.” Mother interjected.

  "He's slightly less serious and boring now that he's a father himself," Lucifer said placatingly. He took a seat at the First Officer's chair, while Mother sat down on the gunnery station.

  “And with a mortal of all things?” Seraphiel shook her head, somewhat surprised. “Are they a good match at least?”

  “I…they’re not actually dating as far as I know. They were just having a bit of fun for a while where he was having a crisis of faith and supposedly mortal. Don’t ask me how his mind works.” Lucifer leaned his cheek on his hand, looking almost bored.

  “What your brother is failing to mention is that he was having fun with that mortal first. She was Lucifer’s therapist. Still is, I think.” Charlotte chuckled.

  “Good for you brother. I’ve never known anyone in more need of a good therapist than you.” She nodded approvingly.

  “Except you.” Luci shot back.

  “Except me, yes, but I don’t tend to stick around long enough for something like that.” She didn’t bother arguing the point. He was right after all. “Now why are you two here? I don’t believe for a second you just came to reminisce.”

  “Well, we’re duty-bound to inform you of something. Father has now officially retired. The position of God back home is now open. I’m occupying the position for now, mostly to make sure Michael doesn’t get the position, but you’re the one with an actual piece of His divinity. And you have the ability to go home if you so choose. It would be remiss of us if we didn’t make the offer, even if we don’t think you’ll take the job.” Lucifer revealed.

  "Huh. If He's retired, what is He going to do next? Having Him look over the new God's shoulder all the time would be kind of a pain." She pointed out.

  “He’s taking some time off. Maybe He’ll figure out the rest later.” Charlotte said vaguely.

  "Well, I'll have to think about it, but at this very moment, I'm not all that keen on the idea. I'd like to visit, just to see the family and my new nephew, but I don't think I'll stay. Who's likely to end up with the job if I say no?" She'd rather stay here all things considered.

  “Amenadiel.” Mother stated with confidence.

  "That's not a bad pick, but I think you're ignoring the obvious best option." Seraphiel smiled a bit. "And no, I don't mean you, Mother. I mean Azrael. She's a bit on the timid side, but no one can argue that she hasn't fulfilled her obligations as the Angel of Death, even one isn't actually necessary. Father foisted the job on her as a punishment, but she has still done her best with possibly the worst job. Yes, even worse than being the ruler of Hell brother."

  “Huh…that’s…huh.” Lucifer seemed genuinely stumped. “I could get behind that.”

  “You know, that’s not a bad idea. She’ll have to accept the job though.” Mother pointed out.

  “Well, just remind her that it means her current duties are no longer necessary. That should do the trick.” She advised them. “Amenadiel isn’t a bad second option though. He’s always been dutiful, even if too serious. Perhaps some of that seriousness has worn off with becoming a father. Or he could’ve become a total manwhore like Luci, I don’t know. You guys don’t visit me enough to keep up to date on these kinds of things. Oh, wait a moment.”

  One of the Drukhari ships had become impatient enough to make a move, and she sent it into the closest star with a gesture. The Drukhari were bloodthirsty and completely brutal, but they were also fundamentally cowardly in the face of a superior power. You just had to remind them why they should keep away on a regular basis.

  “Well, with Father gone, what are you going to do Mother?” She returned her focus to the conversation at hand.

  "Well, I was making a new creation of my own, before it got swallowed by this abomination of a universe. So, I'm thinking, why not become the Goddess of this realm? You seem to enjoy it here, so I'd have company. Luci seems to be enjoying his time as the System avatar as well." Mother threw out a suggestion. "Your Father will likely hover around like a jilted boy toy, but that's something I'd have to deal with anyway."

  “I’m guessing the current deities of this realm wouldn’t be too happy about it. And judging by how you like to do things, you don’t want to just smack them down and force your will on them. Not directly anyway. So let me guess, I’m going to have to do that?” Seraphiel speculated based on what she knew and suspected.

  “You are my Champion and Paladin. Besides, it’s not like you’re too busy. And you’re looking for something to do. This would give you something to entertain yourself with for a while. Don’t say I never do anything for you. Besides, you’re kind of doing it already, just piecemeal and without focus. Just your presence will draw challengers. Might as well face them head-on.” Mother said innocently.

  “Admit it sister, you’re bored. These escort jobs won’t keep you engaged for very long. Soon enough you’re going to start looking for other ways to entertain yourself, and while there’s nothing wrong with a little debauchery, isn’t that how your previous slump started?” Lucifer suggested. “You just got rid of the curse, so it would be a bit of a shame if it came back just because you’re bored.”

  "I'll take it under advisement. For now, I'm busy babysitting. Might as well get me a drink Luci, and then you can bugger off." She taunted, and Lucifer acquiesced with a smile. He summoned her favorite drink out of thin air and just vanished after handing it to her.

  “Seriously though, darling. Give it a thought. You’re obviously not living your best life now. Either accept my offer, accept becoming God, or settle down somewhere and have babies like Amenadiel. Or do something different but wild. You have options. Just pick one. I know you’re used to being pushed all over by your Father, but that’s not going to happen anymore. Old habits die hard, but you’re going to have to get over this. I can lead you to the water, but I can’t force you to drink.” Charlotte smiled at her with motherly warmth.

  “Do recall that you’re comparing me to a horse at the moment.” She joked.

  “No, I’m not. I left the word out on purpose. If I were to compare you to an equine, It’d be to a mule. You’re stubborn like that.” Charlotte shot back, before tactically vanishing.

  “Bastards, both of them.” She smiled.

  She knew her Mother actually had very little interest in becoming the Goddess of this universe, besides maybe just to rub it in the faces of others. There was a more than even chance that the only reason She'd even throw the idea out there was just to give her something to do. A goal to work towards. That's just the type of being She was. And of course, She couldn't be honest about it. That's the type of people they all were. She did have a point though. She and Luci. She was currently just coasting.

  The idea of just settling down was likely meant as a joke, but it wasn't as unlikely as Mother had likely assumed. The only problem being that She was also right about just her presence inviting challenge. On the other hand, she could probably convince a couple of people at least to settle down with her. They'd likely get bored after a few years though. Her included. She might tolerate it longer just because she kind of wished for peace and quiet after everything. But equally, after everything, she didn't know if she could just settle down. Though, raising a family might be an interesting change of pace.

  Perhaps that could be the end goal? First, show the universe why fucking with her was a bad idea, get Mother elevated into the position of the superior being, and then try settling down? That could be worth a shot.

  First, she'd need to deal with the contract though. This escorting business was just her trying to avoid going down to the planet and face some of the ghosts of her past. Wonder how many of those were still around?