Qingge was one of the last returnees to trickle into the Training Hall. She was in no particular hurry and had accompanied Daiyu part of the way back to her home near the Reinforcement Hall. She’d move back there herself in a couple of days, but for now she still had all of her stuff in her room at the Training Hall’s headquarters.

  Despite her late arrival, the streets hadn’t cleared of returning disciples, quite the contrary. There was an entire crowd of them right at the entrance, meeting up with those who hadn’t visited the tournament. Qingge rolled her eyes: she’d seen enough big crowds for a while. Right now, a big part of her wanted nothing more than return to the quiet, if tedious normalcy of day-to-day sect life.

  Another part of her found the very idea of doing that incredibly strange. This wasn’t a normal situation. A war was brewing that would rage throughout a good two thirds of the peninsula, people would die in the thousands and untold amounts of suffering would follow – and she was just supposed to go back to paperwork and petty disputes?

  There was a jarring disconnect between the reality of the situation elsewhere and her own, personal inability to do anything about it. Her sect, or rather its elders, had decided to take a neutral stance which she had absolutely no influence on. Even if they hadn’t, she didn’t possess the personal strength to make any sort of difference in a conflict such as this. And even if she did, she wasn’t even sure that she would want to. She’d made her first experience killing another human being back in Moonlake City which still occasionally spooked her dreams to this day, and she wasn’t at all keen on repeating it.

  Qingge had spent much of the voyage back here grappling with these thoughts, and while it did at least help her properly understand why she was feeling so strange about all of this, it hadn’t gotten her much closer to actually resolving them.

  She had toyed around with the idea of asking Master Wei for advice but hadn’t been able to bring herself to it. He always seemed so resolute in his actions and here she was, an adult who had spent most of her life in this sect, struggling with one of the most basic realities of the world of cultivators. What the heck was she cultivating for when even the thought of using her strength was troubling her?

  As Qingge moved through the crowd with a determined effort to leave it behind as quickly as possible, she suddenly spotted a familiar face in the corner of her eye which was enough to bring her to a halt. Stumbling through the crowd was Professor Lei, wrapped in a coat of fur that was almost comically large and thick on the man’s slim frame. An unusual mix of confusion and concern was painted over his usually thoughtful expression, and he altogether seemed rather out of place.

  Since she could hardly just ignore it, Qingge changed directions to intercept him and called out.

  “Professor Lei!”

  “I… Oh, Lady Qingge!”

  As he turned around to face her, some focus seemed to return to the Professor’s eyes.

  “You must excuse my inattention, I was just… just… Never mind. I’m happy to see that you all safely returned here.”

  “You don’t seem too well, Professor.”

  “I don’t? I… Oh well, I suppose I’m not exactly skilled at hiding it.”

  He let out an embarrassed chuckle.

  “I must admit that I was rather taken aback by your group’s return. I have spent the last weeks rather absorbed in my work and hadn’t even heard that it would be today. Only discovered it upon returning from the library just now. And then, I just overheard that… well, that…”

  He sighed, obviously at a loss for words.

  “Lady Qingge, could I trouble you to give me a rundown of the events at the tournament? I’ve only heard some snippets of the conversations here, but it seems that it didn’t exactly go as planned?”

  Well, if that wasn’t the understatement of the week!

  “Of course, Professor. It is, however, a bit of a convoluted story to tell, so I propose that we move to a calmer location first. If it’s all right with you, you can accompany me to the headquarters.”

  “Thank you, Lady Qingge. Let’s do that.”

  …

  “…After that, Patriarch Tengfei Ye formally declared war against the Roaring Thunder Sect and their remaining members were apprehended. “

  “Just like that… I suppose most important events seem sudden when observed from the outside. Especially when they are hinging off of an assassination attempt.”

  “We were all just as shaken as you. Nobody had expected it; how could we have?”

  “It seems so… unreal to think about it. The alliance hasn’t seen a war on this scale in… in forever. I’m not entirely sure if there is even a comparable instance to draw from. I believe the last internal war on this scale must have been the one that resulted in advent of the Serene Plains Sect as the fourth great sect. Which I for one, know next to nothing about… Oh, I’m sorry for interrupting you, Lady Qingge. Please do go on.”

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  “Well, that’s actually about all there is to tell. Master Wei told me that the present elders held an impromptu meeting where they decided against directly joining the war. I think after that, the elders participated in some more diplomatic talks throughout the night and the next day, while everyone packed up their things. Then we just marched back to the ship and set sail. We didn’t even pass by the sect, so I didn’t see the damage that the attack has done with my own eyes. It’s been over a week since then, but nothing has happened in that time. Or rather, no news have reached us yet.”

  “And… do we have any idea how this war is going to turn out?”

  “Master Wei told me that it’s never wise to feel too sure on such predictions, but in his opinion the new alliance has a pretty overwhelming advantage, though he also says that this war is probably only going to come to an end once Matriarch Liqiu has woken up again. Before that, they will have trouble dealing with Xing Zhou.”

  “That is at least somewhat relieving to hear, though I can attest that he’s right about that first part. I’m not a historian, but from the limited time I have spent studying warfare, I feel like wars have a tendency to surprise everyone involved. One can try to understand and explain them in hindsight, but the contemporaries simply don’t have that benefit. To think that this war may one day be studied in the same manner…”

  For a while, the two of them remained silent. Then, Qingge opened again.

  “Professor, if you don’t mind, could I ask you for some advice?”

  “I’m not sure I can help you, the mortal that I am, but please ask away.”

  Qingge took a deep breath. Sharing the troubles she’d been having wasn’t easy, but it was too good a chance to pass up on. If she was not going to ask Master Wei about them, Professor Lei was one of the few people besides him she could think of who might be able to offer her meaningful advice.

  “I feel… conflicted. On the one hand, it feels strange not being able to participate in the war, just pretending like it doesn’t exist. On the other, I don’t even know if I would want to participate, even if I could. I recoil at the idea of actually fighting and killing someone again. Even though I’m a cultivator.”

  Professor Lei sat up straight, his face turning thoughtful. While he didn’t seem to have an immediate answer, it was clear that he was back in his element.

  “Mhmm… I believe you are mixing two separate issues here. The first problem you are experiencing is an inherent property of war, or even of major crises in general. For every disaster, every terrible event that happens, there is always going to be those who are neither afflicted nor involved in it, for one reason or another, while simultaneously being aware that it is happening.

  “Most of these people probably share that very emotion you are feeling right now. In fact, I do as well. Trying to go on as if everything was normal, even while you feel that it isn’t is simply a strain on your mind. There isn’t much I can do to help you with this, other than assuring you that it is a feeling many share with you.

  “And perhaps to remind yourself that the circumstances you think of as ‘normal’ are only what you have already accepted as such because you have lived with them for a long time. We don’t live in a perfect world, far from it in fact. If we constantly reminded ourselves of every injustice and every harm around us, we could not function at all. As such, we can only go on turning most of them out as we go about our lives, while also trying to remain aware of them. And perhaps, slowly and incrementally, improving things for those around us to the best of our ability. In that respect you will find that the normalcy of the situation around you didn’t change at all.”

  He paused for a while to give Qingge time to take in his words. He was right. She was already surrounded by injustice within the sect, and even then, the sect was an incredibly privileged place compared to the outside world. She had seen it in Moonlake City, poverty and hardship on a level that was entirely foreign to world of cultivators. Nobody here had to think about where to get their next meal.

  And she had been able to go on despite it. She could only do her best. Why should that change now?

  “The second thing you are facing is the moral dilemma of harming and killing people. You feel that it is wrong, you don’t want to do it, yet you are walking a path of cultivating the very strength that would enable you to do so.”

  That was a very succinct way of outlining her issue, much more so than she herself had managed.

  “I feel like your master would be happy to help you work through this. It is, as I understand it, an issue he is not unfamiliar with. But since you asked me for advice, I’ll try to give you my own version. If I remember correctly, you killed someone during your escape from captivity back in Moonlake City, yes?”

  Qingge bit her lip and swallowed before she answered. Hearing it spoken out loud impacted her much more than just thinking about it, but she couldn’t keep dodging it either.

  “…yes.”

  “They attacked you while you were already fleeing, is that right?”

  “Yes, that’s what happened.”

  “I see that you don’t feel good about it, so please focus your mind on another question: If you were in that exact situation again, with your own life on the line, would you act in the same way?”

  Qingge took a moment to consider… It wasn’t pleasant to consider the possibility, but there was really only one answer. If she was attacked, she would defend herself.

  “Yes, I would.”

  “Very well. Then you already have a baseline of use for your strength, if only a narrow one. Now, consider this: If you were a bystander as someone else, someone innocent was being attacked in the same manner – would you defend them?”

  Qingge paused. Not to think about the question – the answer was yes, and it was much easier to reach than when simply thinking about herself – but because she was realizing where Professor Lei was going with this. Self-defense was one thing; she could try to avoid situations where it would be needed in other ways besides cultivation. But the ability to defend others was a genuine argument for why she could pursue strength.

  “Yes, I would defend them.”, she answered, already a lot more confident.

  “I thought so, and I see you have already drawn the conclusions. Let me just pose you one last scenario which I believe might help you with understanding your goals as a cultivator even better. I understand that you have recently broken through the next realm, a significant jump in progress and strength if I am informed correctly?”

  “Yes, but only due to Master Wei’s guidance and generosity.”

  “Very well, then think about the following: If you were in either of the previously described situations as you are now, with the same opponent you faced back then:

  “Would you even need to kill them to prevent them from doing harm?”

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