(Short chapter today. Getting my writing mojo back.)

  We were all covered in sweat after a long day of training in the sun. I looked at all of them with a small appreciation for their forms. It was too bad their cn was so prudish as it would have been pleasant to start an orgy amongst us all. I went around to each of them and took the weapons from them. Slowly I put them away and stretched my tight muscles. My rippling abs were tight.

  We went to the watering hole and drank deeply from our portions. It was so hard for me to swallow my pride and leave my thirst barely satiated. The constant ck of meat and the repcement meal being less than desirable. I took a deep breath and walked with Haloor into the line for food. Her male came to her side and I watched them embrace.

  Shaking my head, my thoughts went to Melokuhle. Embracing and holding her was something I wasn’t ready to be craving. I could not take comfort in Haloor’s arms as well. There were no homeless men or women I could take into my shelter and use to my heart’s content. Offering them a pce to stay if they satisfied my needs. Forcing myself to be calm I grabbed the bowl of food that would fill my stomach. There was no sign of my male or the dreaded Oda. No doubt they were in the frenzy of a mating week. It would have been enough by the morning. I couldn’t stand anymore days of this theft of my property.

  I ate with my hands, licking my fingers clean before returning the bowl and headed to Haloor’s hut. I held my pack and looked over the things I had been allowed to take with me. A few day’s worth of gruel, a simple portable shelter, three throwing spears, and a club.

  Haloor’s hand settled on my shoulder and I tensed. When I turned and locked eyes she looked sad. “You’ve made a choice haven’t you. Please, tell me you’re returning the traveling things and staying.”

  Taking a deep breath I shook my head, “It would be too difficult. Oda has already become comfortable pushing me to give up my mate for a time. I would be your lover only in secret, and my time with Chuma would be judged as well. This pce is not for me.” I looked back at the sack of things I was given in return for whoring out my male. The price of swallowing my pride thick in my chest.

  “It could be different. It might be accepted.” She seemed hopeful but resigned.

  “Or it could be exactly as I predict and I would be a pariah even more so then what I am now. I’m going to go somewhere and be a hero, not some… threat to everyone around me. I see the way everyone else looks at me. How they saw my treatment of the male and will shun me for it. It is too much.” I gripped the sack. “Being farther away from everything that reminds me of what I’ve lost recently is another reason. I see Melokuhle in every hyenakin I see. Hoping to see the spots that I desire so much.”

  Haloor gripped my shoulder tighter as I swallowed the pain. “I’ll talk to my mate. What if he accepts? Won’t you stay if he accepts?”

  “Can your mate leave you? When you are most likely with pups? What of your children? No, there is no right for me to have a group of lovers here. I’m going to leave. I’m here for one more night. I’m collecting Bongani in the morning and leaving. Whether Oda likes it or not.” I shrugged Haloor off me and returned to staring at the pack.

  “He could leave me. We don’t control our males like your cn does. I… I would risk it for you.” Haloor seemed so quiet, not the warrior I had fought in the ring and won the right to dominate while she was with my cn.

  “Don’t, just live without me. I’m going to leave the cn nds. See what the world has to offer.” I stood and looked down at her. “When I return though, I might get rid of your male and take you for myself once more.”

  She looked sad, “I don’t know if I’ll want that. Would you listen to me if I stop you?”

  I brushed her cheek with my hand and frowned. “I’ll only know when it happens. I can’t tell you what I’ll be like in the future.”

  “Would you mind if I name a female pup after you? It is a powerful name,” Haloor looked hopeful as I thought about what she said.

  “Seems strange that we only met less than a month ago,” I bent down and kissed her gently. I could feel the flood of emotions that she was feeling.

  When we broke apart she was shedding a few tears, “It might be silly but you were my first. I didn’t think mating would feel so good, but you showed me it wasn’t something to be afraid of. You are strong, Aphelele. Don’t lose that.”

  “When I come back I’ll only be stronger. Now go to your male. I’m sure he is uneasy with you spending so much time with me. Cocks have a tendency to be jealous.” She ughed and walked away from me. I took a deep breath. One more night and I’ll be farther from Melokuhle, but closer to what I need to do.