“Hello, Blue.” Through the howling curtain of sand steps a skeleton. Muscles weave their way around the barren bones, veins snake their way into any gaps they can find, and skin stitches itself together atop it all. Kara takes a few long strides and pauses before Cassie’s unconscious form.

  My mind screams at me to stop her before she does something.

  She’s not real. It doesn’t matter what she says, what she does. Nothing’s real. I begin to read louder in an effort to preemptively block her voice.

  “You really think you deserve to help her? Even after all you did?” Her voice cuts through my shouting as if we were in a silent room.

  “It doesn’t matter.” I keep my focus on my book.

  “Then why do you feel like it does?” Kara reaches down, taking Cassie’s jaw in her hand and investigating both sides of her head. “Look at her, and I’m sure whatever Vince is going through is far worse. You did this, and you don’t even deserve to live, much less to save them.”

  “I said it doesn’t matter!” I put the book to the side. If reading isn’t going to work, I’ll figure out something else. “I don’t deserve to help them, who the fuck cares? I don’t deserve to feel bad about it either, I don’t deserve to wallow in my own misery. I’m going to save them because nobody else can.”

  “No you won’t.” She drops Cassie’s head roughly, letting it bounce on the cold stone ground. She’s not real. Cassie is as safe as I can get her. “Vince, Ivy, and Cassie couldn’t kill Mara. What makes you think you can?”

  “I have to.”

  Kara strides over to me with an amused grin on her face. She leans down, her eyes locked onto mine. I can’t force myself to turn away, and she halts only when her face is an inch from mine.

  “And why would the world care what you think you need to do? All you’re going to do is end up delivering Cassie to the same fate you condemned Vince and Ivy to.”

  “Then I’ll do it myself. I’ll leave her in Vegas and go by myself. Nobody of worth has to be risked.”

  “You really think you can do that? Just leave Cassie behind? And you think Cassie will let that happen?” Kara laughs. “No, the only way she’s being left behind is beneath the sand. That’s not a fight you can win, unless you do it now.” Kara peels back my skin plates, grabbing Cassie’s knife from inside me and forcing it into my hand. “Show me you have what it takes to save them.”

  I drop the knife without a word. She’s not even worth arguing with, I just need to distract myself. I begin to pull the resources I stashed from my chest and limbs, I need to take stock.

  “Fine, I’ll do you a favor then.” Kara picks up Cassie’s knife and steps toward her.

  It doesn’t matter.

  How much food did I stash? I lay everything out before me and do a quick calculation. She only had a few days worth of rations. If she was in good shape, I could probably stretch it out to three weeks, but with her injuries? She needs the food for her body to heal. Two weeks sounds like a good compromise.

  Kara crouches above Cassie, resting her knife atop Cassie’s neck, daring me to try to stop her. My mind screams at me to do it, to put an end to her and her games. I can’t do that. I can’t trust what I’m seeing, for all I know I could end up shooting Cassie by accident.

  Water is a bigger problem than food. Almost all her rations are dehydrated, and I can probably only stretch the water for a week. With how slow I travel while carrying her, that’s not enough time to get Cassie anywhere we can get more, other than Mara’s trench. I have time to figure something out though.

  Kara pulls her knife roughly across Cassie’s neck, and Cassie comes back to consciousness. Her one good arm comes up to her gurgling throat, desperately trying to stem the tide. The floor is painted red with my slowly dying friend.

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  Bandages are a problem. I can replace the ones on Cassie only twice. I can probably get a third from ripping up our shredded clothes, but that’s still not a lot. I can’t waste water cleaning them either, but the medical kit does have some antibiotics. I’ll need to start her on a regiment as soon as she’s conscious.

  Cassie’s eyes lock onto me, and she weakly reaches out for any help. As much as it hurts me, I can’t. For all I know, trying to bandage her wound could just result in me choking her to death.

  I still have both of Cassie’s guns, both of mine, Corax’s vest, and even Vince’s rifle survived the journey. I set them out in front of me, and a glaring omission stares back. I scramble through my internals, desperately looking for something my memories confirm I’ve left behind. There’s no extra ammo for them, and no extra magazines. The only saving grace is that we didn’t actually fire that much in the trench.

  “Doesn’t that make things easier?” Kara brings Cassie's knife down into her back, leaving it embedded in the corpse. “If you couldn’t save her, how do you expect to save the others?”

  Vince’s rifle is partially filled, with 22 bullets remaining. Cassie’s loud pistol only has 12 shots of hollow point ammo, and my pair only have 5 hollow points left, and 4 of the full metal jacket.

  Cassie isn’t going to be fighting. I take her hollow point bullets from her gun and load them into mine, giving me a single full mag. It’ll have to be enough.

  “Remember way back when you weren’t sure what was real? When you were convinced all this was just another birthday gift? Turns out it would have been a blessing for that to have been true.” Kara’s cruel voice stabs into me.

  It’s going to get cold soon, and with how much skin Cassie is missing, she’s going to need blankets. I used all of them to protect her from the storm, the best I can do is wrap the tattered rags around her limbs. It’ll have to be enough.

  “You know, you can always return. Take a step into the sandstorm, fall to your knees, and be swallowed. Simon can rip this whole adventure from your mind in a matter of days. You can return to your peaceful existence, unaware of the mistakes you’ve made.” Kara’s words strike to my core, igniting longing which I smother instantly.

  “Shut up.” How am I going to feed Cassie if she doesn’t wake up? I can’t just pour-

  “Don’t think I didn’t see that.” Kara once again forces me to stare into her eyes. “Just let everything go. Nothing has to be your fault. You can blame us for everything, wouldn’t that be so nice.” Her honeyed words flow across my mind.

  “You’re right.” I admit, I can’t hide anything from anyone, much less her. “But that wouldn’t help Corax. I promised I’d see him again. Nothing will make me break that promise.” Her gaze wavers, and I turn my head back to my work.

  I need a feeding tube. Maybe I could remove-

  “Then you’re going to have to stop me.” Kara tries to drag me to my feet, but I don't move. She’s not real, and for all I know, if I throw a punch I could somehow hit Cassie or Corax.

  If I could somehow remove one of my coolant tubes and clean it out, I could maybe use that as a feeding tube? I’m not sure how I would do that without killing myself, but as a last resort it might buy Cassie a few more days.

  When this storm ends, how am I going to move her? I’d never get anywhere carrying her, I need some way to drag her. The medical kit has a sewing kit in it! That actually solves a few problems.

  If I sew a couple of the less damaged clothes together, I could make a tarp to drag Cassie behind me with, that should speed me up substantially. Plus, it would make a perfect blanket to keep her warm.

  Second, I can repair some actual clothes for her. Sure I covered up everywhere she wouldn’t want me to see with bandages, but I’m sure she'd be more comfortable with actual clothes.

  Third, if there’s any material left over, I could maybe repair my clothes. They were the second layer of Cassie’s clothing, and while they’re still very damaged, it might just be possible to fix. As long as fixing them doesn’t impact Cassie’s chances of survival, I’d love nothing more than to hide some of my body.

  I’ve been trying to avoid looking at it, but I guess it can’t be avoided forever. My skin is gone, leaving only the dull aluminum base. I have no idea if that will impact my cooling in the sun, but I don’t need to worry about that right now.

  My scalp is completely barren, my beautiful red hair has been completely stripped by the sandstorm. At least the backpack protected Cassie’s head for the most part, she’s only missing a few large clumps.

  I have no idea what my face looks like, and that’s probably a good thing. I’m not sure I could handle knowing right now. Based on my blueprints, it’s not hard to guess. The aluminum plates can still move, I’ll still be able to emote, but without the skin covering me it’ll look weird, alien.

  On the bright side, missing my skin won’t impact me too much. I can still grab things with no problem, although they’re more likely to slip out of my grasp. Nothing squeezing harder can’t fix.

  I guess that’s everything I can take care of. When I look up, Kara is long gone, and Cassie is still laying where I placed her, still breathing. I walk over to her and brush her hair out of her eyes.

  “As soon as the storm has passed, I’m going to steal a car, and I'm going to get you somewhere safe. I promise.”

  I sit down and get to work repairing some clothes and try to bury my thoughts in our book.

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