Fifth Moon, Last Shoots Day, Night

  Aida was exhausted. In order to ease her irrational guilt about attending the Fire Festival in three days, she had been pulling a lot of overtime in the greenhouse after dinner. Despite having a curfew, the teachers had become a lot more lenient about letting students - those with important jobs, at least - stay up late, with the rationale that those duties were in the vicinity of either the Affiliates or the Professors themselves, so there would be assistance if an emergency occurred.

  The moon was high in the sky when she finally left the greenhouse, the grounds silent and peaceful. The furnaces had long since cooled, despite the summer heat lingering in the muggy air.

  Aida trudged back to the main building, looking forward to a dreamless sleep.

  That was the good thing about having a tight schedule: she was too tired at the end of the day to lay awake in bed, stressing about how much she had left to do and how little time she had.

  When Aida quietly slipped in through the door, she became aware of a faltering presence in the shadows of the hallway. She took a deep breath, getting her thoughts together.

  “Hey, Ezra. It’s kind of late.”

  “I know.”

  They stood quietly, neither one quite able to see each other, but able to feel each other.

  “Why are you down here? There’s a curfew,” Aida finally said.

  “I was meditating before bed…and I noticed you were still awake.” Ezra shuffled uncomfortably. Even though Aida could barely see him, from the movement she saw in the dim lighting she could imagine his action: a slight tilt of his head as he looked away from her, his hand grasping the back of his neck as he attempted to hide his discomfort in an awkward admission.

  “Maybe this meditation training isn’t such a good idea,” Aida said jokingly. “I don’t like the idea of losing my privacy.”

  “I don’t go out of my way to look for you,” Ezra said quickly, sounding uncharacteristically flustered. “Your mana was flaring quite brightly, in contrast to everyone else’s sleeping mana. So I couldn’t help but notice.”

  “I was just kidding,” Aida said gently. “I know you wouldn’t.” Ironically, she felt a little disappointed to hear that Ezra wouldn’t check in on her. As silly as it sounded, it reminded her of how defeated she felt whenever she posted something on her social media back in her previous life as a young schoolgirl, only to not receive the coveted ‘like’ or view from her crush of the moment.

  “You’ve been overworking yourself,” Ezra said, his voice soft. Aida felt her lip twitch in an unwilling smile. How the tables have turned.

  “You’ve been pushing yourself as well.”

  “I’ve pulled back. You’ve taken on more than you should.”

  Aida laughed lightly as she walked towards Ezra, leaning on the wall beside him.

  “I have to, if I want to finish my work before the Fire Festival.”

  “Ah…you are attending the festivities, I heard.”

  “Yes. Are you?”

  “No. I’ve never particularly enjoyed the event.” Ezra sighed before quickly redirecting the conversation. “Which celebration are you planning to attend?”

  Aida hesitated, uncertain how much she should say. The emptiness in her heart that she had managed to fill with work and pragmatic concerns seemed to be making its presence even more obvious. She longed to tell Ezra everything, since he already knew the truth of her circumstances…but since they were no longer together, and not quite friends…it didn’t seem right to burden him with her thoughts.

  She had multiple reasons to avoid the Buddington Festival: she was worried “her” parents would expect her to visit home, or worse, they might cross paths and she wouldn’t recognize them; she wasn’t looking forward to third-wheeling Sue and Caleb, which she was certain Sue would insist on in the spirit of best friendship; and of course, the travel time to Buddington was much longer than the trip to Shale Port, which would add to the anxiety in the back of Aida’s mind about how efficient she was being with her time.

  “I was considering going to Shale Port with Lily and her date,” Aida finally said. She smiled, trying to inject a note of levity into their conversation. “Did you hear? Vanita asked Abedi to go with her to the Festival, so we’re going to tag along and make sure everything goes smoothly.”

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  “I heard. I was surprised. It’s a very bold move for Vanita. I wonder where she found the courage…” Ezra’s voice had tapered off as he pondered the relationship development.

  “We have to thank Lily for that boost,” Aida said, choking off the snicker that had slipped out due to her exhaustion. I don’t think he wants to hear the reason why Vanita made a move.

  “What did Lily say to Vanita?” Nonplussed, Ezra continued the conversation as Aida tried to come up with an acceptable exit.

  “Um…nothing much. You know how she is, her forceful personality just wore down Vanita’s resolve.” She felt Ezra turn towards her as he heard the panic in her voice. “Anyway, why don’t you want to attend the Fire Festival? I believe Lily described it as…” Aida wrinkled her nose as she tried to recall the exact words. “’Our last time before we become full-fledged adults with jobs and stuff.’”

  Ezra exhaled slowly. “Well…I have no desire to go home, for one thing.”

  Aida nodded, her heart constricting as she recalled Ezra’s torpedoed relationship with his family. And all for what?

  “I used to look forward to the Fire Festival, just like any other child.” Ezra’s bald statement drew Aida’s attention back to him. “I didn’t used to be like this, you know.”

  “Like what?” Aida asked, confused. Ezra slumped against the wall, sliding down so that he was sitting.

  “I’m aware I come across as a caricature of a cold, unfriendly offspring of a powerful family. But I wanted friends, just like any other child.” Aida’s eyes had acclimated enough to the dark that she could see Ezra’s silvery hair, head bowed as the darkness weighed on him.

  “I was six years old. I was with two boys I thought were my friends.” Ezra’s voice went from steady and measured to - still steady, but with an undercurrent of anger. “Unfortunately, I was naive. They did not wish to be friends…they just knew, early on, that they had to be my friend. Because of what my family represented.”

  Aida waited with bated breath, shocked that Ezra was willing to share such intimate information with her. Confiding in her, despite everything that happened.

  “What did they do?” Aida kept her voice quiet, trying not to disrupt this sudden talkative mood.

  Ezra huffed out a small laugh as he dropped his head back against the wall, looking up at a painful memory. “The situation is shockingly ridiculous, when I think about it. We were collecting our paper cranes and sweets, as is tradition. However, because we were…who we were, the amount of sweets we received was significant. Too much for one child to carry, along with the cranes we were given. I offered to carry the cranes, because I was worried my friends would treat the cranes with disrespect, and cram the blessings into the bottoms of their bags.” Ezra’s voice took on a bitter tone. “In return, they offered to carry my sweets for me.”

  Feeling Ezra’s mana begin shivering in agitation, Aida reached out with her own, tentatively infusing him with her own calm, trying to soothe him. Ezra took a deep breath before he settled back down, resuming his tale.

  “I walked ahead with the cranes, eager to send them to the heavens so that I could finally enjoy my portion. Little did I know, my friends took the opportunity to split the three portions of sweets between the two of them - leaving me with nothing.”

  “That’s awful,” Aida said quietly. Ezra didn’t seem to hear her sympathy.

  “When I asked them why they did that, they retorted—“ Ezra laughed in disbelief here, before burying his face in his hands “—that it was too heavy to carry the candy. For some reason, it never crossed their mind that they were eating my share.”

  Aida looked down at him from where she stood, feeling a lump rise in her throat. It was such a simple story, easily chalked up to childish selfishness and misunderstandings, but she felt the stab of betrayal as if it had happened to her.

  “That wasn’t even the worst part,” Ezra mumbled through his fingers. “They saw no harm in being straightforward about their reasons for being my companions.”

  Oh no. Anticipating Ezra’s slow crumble as he dredged up childhood trauma, Aida fell to her knees, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

  “I wished for many years that they would have just lied to me,” Ezra said, his voice muffled.

  “What they said was awful,” Aida whispered, rubbing his back soothingly.

  “It wasn’t even necessarily their own idea,” Ezra continued dully. “It’s clear their family heavily influenced them to become friendly with me - for their own gain.” His head dropped, leaning against Aida. “My brother found me after, and was unsympathetic. He told me they treated me that way because I gave them no reason to treat me with respect.”

  Aida’s arms tightened around Ezra. Jasper is an awful older brother. “I disagree. Children are inherently cruel, and the fact you were sensitive and sweet from a young age doesn't mean you were weak."

  Ezra sighed, but said nothing else. From his defeated body language, Aida could tell he wasn’t reassured.

  Even though she knew he was adamant about not dating until he found whatever nebulous answers he was looking for, his vulnerability stirred the protective, vengeful, justice-seeking spirit in her. He’s hardheaded and stubborn, but ultimately, he didn’t deserve to have that kind of trauma associated with such a major event.

  “You know…it will be my first time attending the Fire Festival,” Aida said hesitantly, pulling herself away from him. He looked at her with dull eyes. “If you want to attend the Fire Festival with friends…I promise I won’t abandon you.” She gave him a wry smile. “And I assure you, I won't steal your candy.”