Tetsu snuck Lila back into the palace grounds unnoticed, but Lila was still visibly upset. He wished there was more time as he had many things he wanted to show her. All he could think about was how it could have cheered her up. It was killing him not knowing what was wrong.
“That blade you made for my brother… It was incredible.” Tetsu was without words as he did not want to leave Lila like this.
“Yeah. Best weapon I ever made since I got the system.” Lila just let out a deep sigh. “It already feels like it has been a lifetime since then.”
“So why are you so upset? Did you do something wrong with the forging process?” He inquired, hoping for any insight he could get.
“Like I said, I skipped several steps. It’s more like a longsword in the shape of the katana. It would have taken too much time to fold the steel, and I would have needed time to find another metal to pair with the emberite for the san mai. Instead of adding a pattern, I just engraved some basic runes instead.”
“If you don’t want to talk about why you’re upset about it, then it’s fine, but just say so instead of avoiding the question.” Lila tried to leave, but Tetsu gently held her arm.
He felt that if this was how the conversation ended, then he would regret it. Meanwhile, Lila just wanted to lie down and forget about the sword she made.
“Most craftsmen are ecstatic when they say they made their best work yet. So why aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be bursting with pride? What about praising yourself for breaking your limits? Instead, you’re criticizing it.”
“I FELT NOTHING!” She yelled as she turned to stare him down. Her eyes, a mix of blue and red swirling in a maelstrom of colors. “For the first time in my life, I felt nothing when I swung a hammer. I felt nothing when I finished that blade, and that is my biggest shame in this. It confirms what I’ve been worried about most, and that is the fact that my interest in improving my skills as a craftsman is just a habit. A cruel echo of who I was!”
He could see that she was on the verge of tears, saying this, but he was confused. No matter how talented and dedicated someone was, you can’t make results like Sakura Mirage without loving their craft.
It didn’t matter if it was crafting, martial arts, or anything else. If you didn’t love what you did or felt pride in it, your potential would be limited. Yet he saw a blade that was forged by someone who loved their craft.
“Try talking to me about it. What do you have to lose?” Tetsu replied as he sat down and gently pulled her arm to sit with him.
Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.
They sat there in silence for a few minutes while Lila contemplated her choices before telling him what happened after she got her system. She told him about how things went well with plenty of offers, even though she planned to just stay to help with the forge. She told him about Austin. Told him about the despair she felt watching Pops on the TV before it cut out and showed him being arrested.
The entire time Tetsu stayed silent, holding his breath as if the act of breathing could break the spell that made Lila talk to him. He also wanted to meet Austin so he could give him hell for all he did to Lila, not having heard the end of the story yet.
“Well, in that moment of madness and impulsiveness, I pulled a fast one on Kon and the fae. By timing it right, I turned into a half-fae, half-kitsune. When they gave me a minute alone to calm down and adjust to my new body, I ran off to kill Austin.” When Lila got to this part, she bit her lip till it bled. She hated herself for her stupidity.
If she hadn’t tried to pull a fast one, she could have just chosen one of the three and made conditions to help find Pops and punish Austin for as long as possible. Instead, she nearly died fighting him and even gambled on adding demon genes to her chimera of a body.
“If I was stronger, I could have made that son of a bitch truly suffer. Rip his limbs off, tear the flesh from his skin, deny him his five senses, and leave him wondering what was going on around him until I let him die. Though it’s not as important as finding Pops. Yes, I need to find him.” She said as if she needed to confirm that last sentence out loud to hear it herself.
Tetsu watched as her mind dived back to the place of insanity as she talked about her regrets in her decisions, and only returned to sanity when talking about getting Pops back.
“As bad as that is, what does it have to do with you feeling empty when forging?” Tetsu asked when Lila realized she had left out some parts of the ordeal.
“To trick the Unseelie, I offered up most of my name, and she believed it to be my full name.”
“So Lila…”
“Is all I have left of my name. I didn’t realize what it truly meant to have your name taken from you. I thought it just meant that she would have more control over me, but instead, she ripped my identity out of me as punishment for tricking her.”
Tetsu let out a deep sigh as he processed everything he had just heard.
“It must have been a tough few years for you.”
“It hasn’t been a full year since I got my system. This is still very recent history for me.”
Tetsu could feel his eye twitching as he heard this.
‘How is she still standing after this, being how her year has gone?’ He thought to himself, learning not to underestimate her.
“Well, maybe you just need to keep swinging your hammer, and your passion for it might return.” He said as he patted Lila on the back.
“You may be right. I mean, what’s a name but a way to identify yourself? I just need to rebuild my identity…. Thanks for listening.”
“Any time Lila.” Tetsu replied as he gave her a slight bow, now knowing that she wasn’t Haruaki’s disciple but the princess of Spiritus. “Though next time we have a conversation like this, we should talk over drinks.” He finished as he made a drinking motion with his hand before vanishing into the night.
Lila smiled as she went to bed to get what little sleep she could before dealing with Haruaki in the morning.
https://patreon.com/NeromanticKobold
