Sam and Loki faced off against one another, the ring surrounded by the susurations of the crowd.

  “Are you going to apologize?” Sam asked.

  “Fat chance!” Loki screamed.

  “Then you leave me no choice. I’m not going to hold back!” Sam screamed, darting forward.

  Loki hissed and leapt across the ring, slamming into the ropes and bouncing back at Sam’s face, claws outstretched.

  “Predictable!” Sam shouted, holding his hand out and slapping the cat as he flew through the air. “You always go for the eyes!”

  Loki landed with a roll and was on his paws in an instant. “Liar! You’re taking it easy on me!” He screamed. Sam kicked at him, only for Loki to dart between his legs, claws aimed at his groin. Sam checked him with a knee to the torso, the cat flying back once again.

  “That was my beef stick you little jerk!”

  “If you want it back, wait a few hours, it’ll be used though!”

  “I’m gonna wring your little neck, you disgusting-AAAAGH!”

  Loki had managed to dodge and roll around him this time, going for Sam’s achilles tendon. The scratch was shallow, but it sent Sam down on one knee and gave him the opening he needed to leap on his head.

  “EEEEEYYYYE SLAAASH!” Loki screamed as he went after Sam again.

  Sam reached back, grabbing him by the scruff.

  “Oh no.”

  “YOU! ARE! OUT!” Sam shouted, chucking Loki with all of his strength outside the ring.

  “NO FAAAAAIR!” The cat howled as he flew, twisting in the air to land on his feet on the hard floor outside.

  “You lost.” Sam said coldly.

  “These rules are stupid! We should fight to the death!”

  “I don’t care if it’s a sim, I’m not killing you.”

  “Wuss.”

  “Says the loser. Now what was the bet again?”

  “No! I don’t wanna!”

  “Say it or I’m swapping you to dry food for a month.”

  “You wouldn’t! You monster!” Loki climbed back into the ring.

  “I can and I will.”

  “Fine! I’m sorry I ate your beef stick. Happy?”

  “Next time I’ll punt you out of the ring, you little jerk.”

  “It’s not fair! My claws can only hurt your soft bits.”

  “Yeah well my fists can’t hurt an aug. You need to learn to use what you’ve got.”

  “I want metal claws! Like that old movie hero the old lady watched.”

  Sam shuddered. “Yeah, I can imagine the bill when I come back to the hotel room and see what you did with the furniture.”

  “Humans use weapons, so should I!”

  “Yeah, and I’d be all for it if I thought you could be trusted not to hurt someone!”

  Suddenly they were startled as the sound of a phone ringing broke through the virtual world.

  In an instant they’d left the simulated ring and were back in the gold-plated luxury of the hotel room. The sheer enormity of the place took Sam by surprise once again - several rooms full of more high-end hardwood furniture and authentic gold than he’d ever seen in his life. Even Loki got a gold-plated litterbox.

  The slow ringing seemed to suddenly accelerate in a disorienting way before Sam lept off the bed where he’d pinned down Loki, half the stolen beef stick still in his mouth, and went to the phone.

  The corded phone was unusual, but not all that different from his cell. He quickly snatched it up and answered.

  “Hello?”

  There was silence on the other end for several seconds.

  “Is this a dead call?” He said, confused. Suddenly a familiar voice burst through the other side.

  “Sam my boy! Sorry about the silence, there’s a time-delay on this call.”

  “Grandpa! Where are you? What’s happening?”

  “I hope you’re enjoying the luxury accommodations. Unfortunately they come at a pretty hefty price. Not in terms of money, but - oh, I’m on the Gem Star right now. That’s why there’s such a long delay in our communications. It’s pretty far away from the Lost Star. I need you to get something for me.”

  Sam decided to start pausing before he spoke. “Sure, I mean I don’t have any money, but I’ll do my best.”

  “I need you to get me a branch from a tree. Ahh, not to worry about that. It won’t cost money. It is going to have to be stolen, though.”

  “Wait, what? I’m not a thief! I don’t know the first thing about stealing things. Why would you even need to steal a branch from a tree anyway?”

  “You two need to put that fancy aug to use and figure out how to get me a piece of that tree! You have almost a week to do it, so you'll get it! If you could beat a heavyweight champion in four months, you can figure out how to steal a stick. Loki is a little Ninja, he’ll figure it out if you can’t.”

  “You didn’t tell me why you need it!”

  “There’s an unveiling ceremony today in the cylinder you’re on! You’ve got to get there and figure it out. Just make sure you don’t tick off DeGausse!”

  “Wait, DeGausse? Like the actor DeGausse? Le Clown?”

  “Yeah, exactly! Don’t piss him off! It’s better if you’re not even on his radar! Now get me a branch from that tree and I’ll see you on the transport in a week!”

  “Alright, I guess I’ll figure it-” The line clicked.

  “Did he just hang up on me? Grandpa? Grandpa? What the heck?”

  “It was the scary old guy again?” Loki asked.

  “Don’t call my grandpa scary. You spent months with him! Well, simulated months.”

  “He is scary though.”

  “He saved our lives!”

  “I’ve only seen tigers on TV, but I’m pretty sure he could beat up a tiger.”

  “I mean… fair. He did beat up a warframe.”

  “He’s the scariest predator I’ve ever met. Scarier than Ian!”

  “He’s not gonna eat you.”

  “That’s because he wants us to do stuff! Could you stop him if he wanted to?”

  “I mean… I guess I couldn’t? He’s not gonna eat me though. He’s not a Greek Titan so I’m pretty sure I’m safe.”

  “What’s a Greek? What’s a Titan?”

  “I was talking about the mythological Chronos- you know what, we have work to do. We can talk about this later.”

  The two made it to the front lobby, where Loki was required to put on a tracking collar.

  “The birds here cost more money than the gold furniture in your hotel room,” The clerk explained, “So if he eats one you’ll be paying for it.”

  “You hear that? Eat a bird and you’ll bankrupt me.”

  “Awwww. But I like eating birds!”

  They figured out where the unveiling was by looking at the public terminal in the lobby.

  “Looks like it’s pretty close to the hotel. We’ll walk.”

  As they left the hotel, Sam was struck by just how gorgeous this side of the dome was. The builders had meticulously recreated the landscape of southern California. The artificial hills gently swept through the dome, with trees lined along the river.

  It felt artificial, though. The trees were too straight, the sunlight generated from what was basically a gigantic bar of lights running through the middle of the cylinder. Even the smell was wrong. Something about the air was too sharp and chemical to really remind him of the outdoors.

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Looking upward he could see artificial woodland directly above him. Unlike any natural forest the trees had been planted neatly, in rows. The birds seemed to adjust to it alright, but a number of them were a vibrant magenta that indicated genetic engineering.

  It felt like walking through a rich suburb back on earth - or at least the ones he’d seen in the movies. Mansions dotted the landscape, their sprawling construction taking up enough space to fit hundreds of skyscrapers on the city-side.

  The walk didn’t take too long. Sam simply followed the crowd. Reporters flitted around a stage in front of a large tree covered in a massive sheet. There were only around fifty people there, but this was the largest gathering he’d seen on this side of the cylinder. A large yacht was anchored on the river next to them.

  “Well,” he said within the void to Loki, “At least there aren’t too many people. We might be able to steal a branch once this is over.”

  The reporters were covered in the garish shifting colors so common now, but all of them paled before the man standing beside the stage. The pied clothing of the clowns of yesteryear had nothing on his outfit, and Sam realized the silver screen did it no justice either. Every single section was a different pulsating color, shifting and writhing in a hundred different patterns. Somehow the simulation they made in the white void didn’t show it properly either. He considered himself glad he’d never been epileptic, because every single section of that clown outfit would have set one off.

  DeGausse stepped up onto the stage, his subtle French accent enhancing his voice.

  “Ahem. Everyone - behold! A tree!” He shouted, pulling off the curtain.

  What he revealed was a tree that was half LED as it glowed electric blue on every leaf and branch. The entire area lit up at that moment as the sky itself dimmed in the section of the cylinder they were on.

  “This is the Cornucopia tree! It can grow any kind of fruit or vegetable in the world. Like me, it is colorful, but giving. With a few more of these, the colony won’t have to worry about importing so much food.”

  DeGausse continued talking, but for Sam the noise faded out as he saw a single person in the crowd with a sour expression. He slowed time as he looked at her, trying to figure out what was so interesting that she somehow outshadowed a famous actor.

  She wore a subtle cream-colored jacket and skirt, her head framed by short, vibrantly red hair cut into a bob. On her prominent nose hung the circular frames of red lensed sunglasses. Her scowling lips were thin, and she was slender. She looked only a year or two older than him.

  “What’s so upsetting?” he said, surprised to find his voice not wanting to come out.

  She looked at him that said she was assessing him as carefully as he had examined her. She leaned in close, and he felt his pulse suddenly quicken.

  “You don’t look like a reporter.” She said.

  “I’m not. I’m just stopping by.”

  “Hmm.” She said, scowl lightening. “Walk over here a few feet.”

  “Uh… sure?” For some reason, he felt a building desire to go wherever she wanted.

  “Hello? Don’t we have a job to do?” Loki said.

  “Yeah, later. Don’t bother me now.”

  “Alright,” She said to him. “Some of them have listening augs, but they’re focused on the stage right now.”

  “So what did you want to say?”

  “That tree is a joke.”

  “I mean, a tree that can make every kinda fruit is pretty cool.” He noticed something subtle about her accent. It was like somewhere on the east coast, but subtly like the British.

  “That isn’t what it’s supposed to do. That isn’t a fraction of what it’s supposed to be. I’m not allowed to talk about it, but the real one… it was more than that.”

  “It’s a tree. Why would they even bother with that?”

  “I’m not allowed to talk about that either. It’s just unfortunate. I saw you looking at it like you were interested. I thought you should know.”

  He looked at her eyes, sparkling green in the light of the shimmering tree.

  “Look, I’m gonna be here for a while. I just had to know why someone so pretty was scowling when everyone else looked like they were going to start cheering. Can I at least know your name?”

  He stopped himself. “Wait, what did I just say?” He thought.

  She smiled at him and he suddenly felt more pleasure than he had after resetting from his mental trauma.

  “I’m Fiona. It’s nice to see a real human up here. There’s so few. I saw you on the news. You were impressive when you took out those infiltrators.”

  “Wait, does everyone know what I did up here? I mean… whatever, yeah, it was me. I’m Sam.”

  “Only the ones that pay attention.”

  “Well I mean… you look normal too. In a good way I mean.”

  She laughed, and he felt like his soul was beginning to sing.

  “Listen - what you’re planning probably isn’t going to work like you think it will. There are cameras here, hidden in the landscape.”

  “Wait, how would you-” he started before he caught himself.

  She leaned in close and whispered into his ear.

  “You’re definitely not a professional spy. How would you like a piece of the real one? The real tree?”

  “Uh… I’m supposed to… do something else. I think.”

  With her this close, he was suddenly finding it very hard to think.

  “When it all falls apart, meet me here tonight.”

  “Um…” He hesitated.

  “Look at that yacht.” She said pointing at the boat moored on the river. “They didn’t build it here. They shipped it up here piece by piece. Thousands of people could have come up here for the same price it took to bring that here. Do you really think the same people that would value a yacht over thousands of human lives would make anything worth keeping? I’ll see you tonight, country boy.”

  With that, she walked back to the crowd. He stood still, staring at her.

  “Sam? Sam! SAM!” Loki screamed in the void, swatting his leg with his claws.

  “Ow! What the heck, cat?”

  “Stop making moon eyes at the human girl and get to work! We have a job to do or the scary predator will eat us!”

  “For the last time, my grandfather is not a predator! Also I was not making moon eyes. I was gathering intelligence.”

  “You got a crush! You got a crush!”

  “Shut the heck up. I don’t… think I have one?”

  He stopped to consider, looking down. He’d never had a crush in his life- never felt anything like that. He was too busy trying to study, work, or fight. He’d barely seen people his own age growing up. He’d only tried to go on one date, and the girl had stood him up.

  Then he focused on the feelings he’d felt while talking with her.

  “Okay, maybe a little one. But it won’t get in the way of this job. You’re right, we’ve got to earn our keep. Not that I have any idea how to do… this. I’ve never stolen something.”

  “Do you remember in the movie how Le Clown tricked the infiltrator in the fourth movie?” Loki asked.

  “Sleight of hand in plain sight?”

  “Yeah! A bird landed in one of the branches. I’m gonna chase it. I’ll get in trouble, but you heard what they said - it’ll be a fine, and I’ll let the bird go. The big predator can pay for it.”

  “How precisely is that going to get us a branch?”

  “I’ll break a piece off and you’ll have it get caught on your clothes, then you’ll walk off with it stuck to you! I get stuff stuck in my fur all the time.”

  “That would be impossible to pull off on purpose. Unless…” he considered it. “Okay, we’ll wait for the unveiling to be over, because I don’t want to be on the national news. If we’re gonna make this work we’re gonna have to spend the whole simulated month we’ve got practicing.

  “Okay!”

  They ran a simulated version in the white room over, and over, and over again. By far the trickiest part was trying to get the branch to stick to him. It’d have to be just the right size, and broken just the right way. Loki scrambling up the tree wasn’t too hard, but breaking the branch in just the right way and catching it was.

  The speech ended, and DeGausse left the stage. The reporters turned and left, and people started carrying a ring of orbs around the tree.

  “What are those?” Loki asked.

  “Shit, those are like a cattle fence. I saw ads for little versions back in Idaho. Time’s up, we’ve gotta move. If we don’t do it now, we won’t pull it off.”

  “Alright! I’m gonna catch that bird!”

  “Remember not to actually kill it!” Sam shouted in the void.

  Loki moved like only a cat that had sapience could. Every cat is part martial artist and part ninja, simply by nature. Loki was a cat that had been actively and intelligently practicing acrobatics. He darted to and scrambled up the tree with a speed that was startling, even after seeing it played out in the void thousands of times. He simply ran up the trunk, flipping as he moved across the branches.

  The bird let out a terrified squawk as it tried to take off, and Loki shouted.

  “Something’s wrong! This isn’t what we practiced! The tree is made of metal or something!”

  “You’re gonna have to put more force on it! Break off a branch!”

  As Loki deftly maneuvered his way through the tree, Sam ran under it.

  “Loki! No!” He shouted out loud. “Stop that! Let that bird go! I can’t pay the fines!”

  Loki could have pounced on the magenta-colored robin, but instead let it fly away into the air before leaping up and slapping it between both paws. As he came down, both hind legs landed on a single branch, driving down on it with all the force his tiny body could muster. There was a snapping sound and Loki started tumbling from the tree, letting the bird go.

  Sam waited beneath the tree, watching the small branch as it fell even as he saw Loki hanging on by a single claw.

  In his greatest show of sleight of hand so far, Loki put on a show of falling down, his claw slipping. Sam waited with arms extended below him, the branch falling just in front of him.

  Loki fell right after the branch, his paw carefully tucking it inside of Sam’s shirt.

  “What the hell, Loki! I told you not to chase birds up here! I know you understand me!”

  Suddenly Sam was startled as he heard not yelling or security, but a slow clap. The turned and paled as he saw Francois DeGausse immediately behind him.

  “Now that was a performance!”

  Sam scrambled to figure out what to do - getting caught by the actor that had already left to visit his yacht wasn’t something they’d thought of.

  “Oh my god! It’s Le Clown!” He shouted. “I’m such a big fan.”

  “I can tell. That was something straight from one of my films.”

  “I don’t know what you mean, we’re nowhere near as good at flipping around as you are.” He said.

  “Have you ever considered getting into the film business? That little cat would make a fantastic stunt-animal. Here, my card. Sam reached a hand out and grasped the small piece of stiff paper.

  “Oh no, I’m gonna end up with such a huge fine from this!” He said, not entirely faking his terror.

  “No, you’ll be fine.” Degausse said, giving a suspiciously knowing smile. “Here.” He said, reaching into Sam’s jacket and taking off the little branch that Loki had tucked away there.

  “Now this would have gotten you quite the fine, but no harm no fowl eaten, right?” He said, patting Sam on the shoulder.

  Sam paled.

  Francois leaned in closely. “Be careful with the girl. She’ll break your heart. My assistant isn’t as nice as you think.”

  He winked, then cartwheeled and flipped his way back to the yacht.

  Sam held Loki tightly and all but ran back to the hotel.

  ***

  “I screwed up so badly! Grandpa is gonna kill me! I did literally everything I wasn’t supposed to do!”

  Loki said nothing, staring at the floor.

  “What do we do? What the hell are we supposed to do! All because I talked to that girl I ruined everything! Grandpa told me not to let DeGausse notice me!”

  “He wasn’t like the movies.” Loki finally said.

  “Why the heck are you talking about the movies right now? I’m going to get shipped back to Earth! Shoot! The one job Grandpa asked me to do and I screwed it up.

  “He was scary. Just like your Grandpa.”

  “He’s an actor! Oh heck, I might have just ticked off a famous actor. I mean he gave me his card, but... am I gonna be on the news? Is this going to be international news? Oh, I’m so screwed.”

  “I don’t wanna meet him again. He moved wrong.”

  “That girl was right. It didn’t work. We spent all that time practicing and it didn’t work at all.”

  “We could try again.”

  “No way. Once looks like an accident, but twice is gonna look like we’re doing it on purpose. I was hitting on Le Clown’s freaking assistant, Loki! I screwed up so, soooo badly.”

  “She said she’d give you a tree. Just go meet her. Then your grandpa will be happy and you won’t be in trouble. The scary guy let us go. We’ll be fine.”

  “You’re right. Alright, tonight, we’ll meet her again. Then I won’t be in trouble.”

  ***

  Sam walked back to the tree, and as promised, Fiona was waiting there for him, dressed far more casually than in the morning.

  “So that went about like I thought it would,” She said.

  “Look,” Sam said. “I honestly don’t know what’s going on with everyone here. I’m not some spy, I’m not some thief, I don’t understand any of this.”

  “That’s obvious. Look, take this. If you are who I think you are, your grandfather will be able to actually use it.”

  She reached into her jacket and took out a small, glowing branch with the same bright neon color as the main tree. It looked identical.

  As he reached out and grasped it, he heard rustling in the bushes. As one, he and Fiona turned to look.

  A dozen men, all heavily augmented and hulking, stood there with weapons drawn.

  “Take them down!” They shouted.

  Sam tried to slow time, but realized he was still out.

  As he saw the weapons fire, the world went dark.