I left the dorm building with Seth's magic dog–or rather hyena–whistle wrapped around my foreleg. I had to walk carefully or it would slip down, but I figured I might need it to find the packrats. I knew they lived on campus, but I almost never saw any.

  Seth's dorm overlooked the city with a view of the Palace in the distance. Which meant it was on the outer side of campus. Where I needed to look was on the complete other side, along where the coliseum had been carved out of the mountain wall.

  That was close to where I'd seen the packrats before, and I'd been searching that area at night anyway, looking for Professor Mighty Mick's wardrobe teleporter. Of course, I hadn't found that yet either. I actually didn't know where Mick's rooms were. I didn't know if he was associated with a tower or what. I wanted to follow the guy, but my opportunities were limited.

  Somehow sneaking around at night when no one was up meant you didn't see too many people, including dear old Mick. Funny how that worked.

  I wasn't worried about Mick tonight anyway. If I spotted him, sure, I'd divert. But right now I was looking for a rat.

  First, I snuck around for a bit. I checked out where I'd stashed Seth's bracelet, looking for any signs that I could get to the rat's nest from there. Nothing obvious. It wasn't far from there to the spot next to the coliseum where I'd met the packrats before.

  The moon wasn't out, but the campus was well lit enough that I had no trouble seeing. A good portion of that was my amazing cat eyesight. It was like built in nightvision goggles. Being a cat was awesome.

  I climbed up to where I remembered the grandpa rat coming out. He was a fat dude, so I should be able to fit into a hole he could get through, even if I was taller. Instead, the little bastards had stuffed rocks in the entrance.

  No big, I'll dig it out.

  After about twenty minutes, I was dusty, dirty, smelly with some substance I did not want to know more about, and still nowhere near getting inside that hidey hole. The little buggers had filled it in the whole way, and I'd have to dig blindly into the mountain.

  I couldn't get in. Not this way. That was fine, I had other options.

  I blew the whistle, thinking 'Come.' And then I waited.

  And waited.

  I blew the whistle again, and this time kept blowing. 'Come,' I thought as I blew on it. I only needed one stupid rat, and I could follow it back to the nest through whatever new hole they'd dug.

  A few pebbles bounced down from somewhere above my head. Sure, my head is only a little higher than a housecat's, so it wasn't very high, but still. The bastard rats were making sure their front door had collapsed. Fuckers.

  I headed back to where the bracelet had been stashed. It was behind a disused building. There was a section of old buildings on this side of campus, I imagine from a time when the city was more populated, the school had more students, or they housed more staff on the grounds. One of these was the same building that had a secret basement egress into the city.

  If there was a place that rodents liked, it was a place that humans had vacated and left stuff behind. So that's where I started whistling again.

  I expected something to come. Regular rats maybe. Instead I got nothing. This was starting to piss me off. Grandpa Packrat must have sent his unenlightened family away when I blew the whistle near the coliseum. He knew I was here and was taking precautions. Time for plan B.

  "This stupid thing doesn't work anymore," I said loudly and tossed the whistle in the grass and walked away.

  When I was thinking up this plan, I'd thought of what magical items I had available that I could use to lure the packrats. I had my or Seth's amulet–nope. Seth's crystal rod from the ogre illusion–I'd prefer not that because the kid had plans for it. My ring–fuck no. And this whistle. So, the whistle it was.

  I waited around the corner and watched. I considered watching from the roof, but I thought I might not be close enough.

  Minutes ticked by. Finally I saw a small form creep out from the shadows. Every few feet it raised up on its hind legs and peered around, paying particular attention to the direction I'd disappeared in. It had the shape of a rat, and a fuzzy tail. A packrat.

  There was a word for finding exactly what you're looking for. It escaped me at the moment.

  I crouched low to the ground and started slinking forward, nearly invisible in the grass and nighttime shadows.

  The rat rummaged in the grass until it found the whistle. I froze when it stared in my direction again. Then it scooted back the way it'd come. I'd seen where it came out of, and followed silently, but quickly.

  I kept the packrat in sight and froze every time it looked in my direction. The beast was extraordinarily pleased with the whistle, and kept stopping to examine it. Eventually it headed off with a purpose, clearly heading back to the nest.

  The fieldstone foundation of one of the buildings was missing a stone, and the packrat disappeared inside. I hesitated a moment trying to see inside, but it was too dark. Fuck it, if I didn't hurry I'd lose the thieving rat. I pushed through the hole.

  My skull fit. It took some wiggling, but I managed my shoulders. My ass was a problem. Good thing that cats are liquid though. I let my hind legs stretch out straight and long. The longer I stretched the skinnier my ass got, and I slid the rest of the way in like I was a snake. Whew. I was almost too big for that. I looked at the hole and realized I wasn't likely getting out that way. Meh, future me problem.

  As it was, I took so long to get in that I couldn't see the packrat, and had no idea where it went. I went still and held my breath, listening hard and waiting for my eyes to adjust to the deeper darkness in the basement. Very faintly I could hear scrabbling in the far corner.

  I was on a shelf high in a storage cellar. When my eyes adjusted I could see that it was mostly empty. The far corner, however, had some junk stacked rather suspiciously. I jumped over. Upon closer inspection I found a trap door going down to a sub basement.

  Huh. With my luck this might go all the way down to the Below. Only one way to find out. Enough of the boards in the trap door were rotted that I had no trouble getting down there.

  I found myself in a wine cellar. Most of the barrels were empty or broken, but there were still a few that looked intact. And judging by the random bottles strewn about, a pile of blankets, and other interesting tidbits, I'd say either this was a secret party room, or someone had been living down here. It'd been a while since it'd been used though.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  That left the question of where that rat had gone. They were definitely nearby; this place reeked. I realized I could hear them. Faint squeaking and chittering, conversations I couldn't quite make out.

  I followed the sound to a pair of barrels on a stand near the wall. There was a gap between the stand and the wall. The gap was narrow and hid a passage, but just wide enough I could walk behind the barrels and into the passage. It was a big enough passage that the kids could crouch through and it headed down. It was pitch black in there. I'd be blind.

  I stood at the entrance to that passageway and debated with myself. Did I want to walk blind into the potentially hostile nest of a magic beast?

  Nope.

  Would I do it for Seth?

  Eh, the kid would be fine for a while. I didn't need to do this right this minute. I could always tell Seth where it was and let him do the dirty work. On the other hand, I was already dirty and smelly from digging in the rat's old front door. I really didn't want to get dirtier though.

  Would I do it to steal the whistle back?

  Hmm. Tempting.

  Would I do it to fuck over Grandpa Packrat for taking Seth's bracelet in the first place?

  Actually, no. I didn't give a shit about the rat. I did want the bracelet back though.

  Did I want to know what was down there?

  This one got me. If those rats gathered everything magic they could find, I wanted to know what they had. It might be gross, or it might not. I had to know.

  I stepped one careful paw at a time down the passage. It sloped down and curved a fair distance before I saw light. I crept up on the end of the passage to where it opened up into a mildly well lit, very stinky, large chamber.

  This looked like another sub basement of a neighboring building. There were heaps and piles of refuse in all the corners, and a couple in the center of the room. Magical lighting hung haphazardly from the ceiling. I could see other tunnels both high and low along the walls, probably heading to other middens or exits. Wine barrels formed a circle of perches for five packrats.

  Grandpa Packrat stood on a tall table by the biggest pile. Beside him was a small barrel that he was spinning with a handle. After turning it three times, Grandpa reached in and pulled out a disk.

  "Has silver!" He squeaked, and laid the disk down.

  The other rats fussed with objects on their perches, a couple of them squeaking excitedly. After a moment, Grandpa started spinning the barrel again.

  He pulled out another disk. "Has a cord!"

  "Does a chain count?" one of the other rats asked.

  "No! A cord is a cord! A chain is a chain!" one of the other rats retorted.

  "You can use a chain as a cord!" the first rat argued.

  Grandpa Packrat banged the disk on the table. "I say a chain is not a cord!"

  I had no idea what the rats were doing. I kept watching, fascinated.

  The barrel got another three spins. "Is round!"

  "Oh! Me! I got it!" one of the other rats squealed. "I got Bingo!"

  That was also the word I was trying to remember earlier. Now that I see it, I remember it.

  I'll be damned if that little asshole didn't wave Seth's bracelet up in the air. They were playing bingo with the treasures and junk they found around the school.

  The other packrats grumbled and turned over their treasures to Grandpa Packrat. The one that got bingo hugged Seth's bracelet to its chest.

  I turned around and headed back to the wine cellar. I wasn't willing to kill the rats. They were just being themselves, and I couldn't really blame them for liking shiny things. That said, I wasn't going to let them keep what they'd taken. I wasn't optimistic about a conversation with Grandpa being productive as he was an asshole, so I needed a distraction.

  I looked at some of the smaller bottles of harsher spirits. Those would be pretty flammable. That would make the rats flee for sure. If that midden caught fire, the smoke would be toxic. I would be in there and didn't want to breathe that shit, so I kept looking and quickly got an idea.

  I wasn't sure how this would work, but I figured, why not. I tried to move one of the wine barrels. Whoee. Nope. I was an itty bitty kitty and that thing weighed more than Owen. What I could do though, was put some strategic cuts on the wooden frame and then I jump-kicked the double barrelled rack near the wall, and knocked it over.

  Two barrels smashed into the passageway with a loud crash. Gallons of old wine poured down into the packrats' nest. I'm such a considerate guest. Every bingo party needs wine.

  I expected the rats to come up, but they didn't. Instead they panicked. From the sounds below, they scattered like rats through the other bolt holes they had. I crept down to see where they'd gone.

  I caught a lucky break. They ran away while leaving everything behind. I quickly went to collect the bracelet and whistle. That's where my luck ended. Grandpa Packrat had already pissed on the bracelet, covering it in a thin coat of yellow resin.

  I had no thumbs. The only way for me to carry it was to pick it up in my mouth.

  I was not willing to do that. Like, not at all.

  I knocked the bracelet to the floor where it splatted into the spilled wine. I looked at the whistle. It wasn't much cleaner, but it wasn't coated in yellow resin at least. I looked around at the other 'treasures' the rats had. A ring, half a lock, a necklace, a handkerchief, a piece of broken glass, and similar bits of odds and ends. The ring and handkerchief were weakly magical, but the rest was just junk.

  The handkerchief was a suspicious yellow, and the ring was so coated in yellow resin that it was more like a coin than a ring. I wasn't touching those.

  I turned back to the bracelet. It wasn't so coated that it was a disk. Oh, could I use the chain on the whistle and loop it through the bracelet? Then how would I carry it? I really didn't want that around my neck.

  I was easily able to loop the whistle chain through the bracelet, but I couldn't get it to stay put on my forearm. Every time I took a step, the added weight of the bracelet dragged it down. So I squelched my gag reflex and put that nasty thing around my neck.

  I glanced around at the midden. It stank. It was dirty. It was yellow. I wasn't in the least bit curious anymore. But since I was already gross, I took a quick look through the piles anyway. For the most part they were solid and not easy to rummage through. I didn't sense anything of significant enough mana to bother with anyway.

  I found another trap door at the top of the nest. It was latched, but my super awesome skull key ring opened it easily, and I was outside without having to wiggle through that tiny hole again.

  I automatically headed towards Seth's room, but stopped. I did not want to lay on his blankets as gross as I was. I turned to the coliseum and the baths instead.

  For some reason, the women's side was occupied, so I headed to the men's pool. Blissfully empty. I leaped in.

  So eager was I to get clean, that I didn't even think of showering off first. I didn't realize I'd screwed up until I saw the film of dirt and filth on the water. So I ducked my head under the surface and shook harder to get as much dirt off me as possible. I didn't see the point in getting out to shower off now, the water was already dirty. May as well own it.

  After about a half hour, I started to feel clean again. I stood on the pool stairs and watched the filth circle. Considering how dirty I was, the water should have been much darker. It was draining somewhere.

  Well, of course it was. This was a 'bathing pool' not a 'swimming pool.' That meant there was clean water coming in, too. And it was getting heated somehow.

  I looked down at the bracelet. The resin still encased it. Over time, I bet the water would dissolve the resin, but it would take a good while.

  Yeah. Seth could do without it for a little bit. We could also use some time without being spied on. But where could I put it here that someone wouldn't take it? If I just left it at the bottom of the pool, the next person in the pool would take it.

  I didn't know where the water came in, or left. So I went looking. It took me a hot minute because it all happened in a level below the pool room.

  A locked maintenance door led down to chambers below the pools. The water came in from somewhere deeper in the mountain, and left down a drain that headed towards the city. I bet they just let it pour directly into the lake. Environmental protections weren't a thing people worried about until the environment started poisoning them back.

  Meh, not a me problem. I carefully tied the whistle and bracelet together. Thankfully both were loops that could be looped inside each other and I didn't need to actually tie a knot, and then wrapped them as securely as I could to the grate. The water flow here was slow enough that I didn't think I had to worry about it washing away, but still enough of a flow that the piss resin should get washed away.

  Right. Job done. I had to hustle back, it was almost dawn. And if I climbed into Seth's bed a little damp, well, maybe he wouldn't notice.