What was I thinking? Why didn't I choose sooner? What the hell is wrong with me!?

  I slam my fist on my rickety-ass wooden table and my shitty mug of piss water almost tips over. Everything we accomplished and all those good times we shared together don't count for shit now!

  I slap my booze off the table and it goes flying into the darkness of my moldy shack.

  I take a couple of moments. Then I let out a big sigh - rough and deep, like rolling gravel. At least I get one more chance. That's more than most get, probably. And I gotta make sure I do things right this time. How am I gonna fuck up the Limp Dicks if my ass gets killed before they even get here?

  I reach for the Hero Pendant dangling against my chest by its golden chain. The opal-like gem glows dully back at me.

  None of this shit even makes sense. God can turn back time, but he can't stop a few crazy cultists? What kind of God is that? And why do I have to handle all of this!? What, are all his other 'Heroes' on vacation or some shit!?

  My hand shakes as I squeeze the pendant. I squeeze until it hurts.

  Man, fuck this bullshit. The only reason why I'm in this fucked-in-the-ass scenario in the first place is because of the Limp Dicks. So fucking up one world isn't enough? The 'Liberation Society'. I should 'liberate' their heads from their goddamned shoulders. I didn't do shit to deserve this. Ain't no one to blame but them.

  A little montage plays in my head, and my piss boils as I remember all the little things they said and did to turn my girlfriend of five years against me. To ruin our lives. To murder me in cold blood.

  Those motherfuckers've gotta pay!

  Then Hero Pendant goes off like a flashbang, and my world turns pure white for a few seconds.

  When the light fades, I'm looking down at a fresh plate of corn, mashed potatoes, a little piece of bread with some... Butter?

  "Wow, mom! Is that real butter? I wanna eat butter every day!"

  Mom laughs. "That's beyond my power; we'll have to pray to the dairy gods to make that happen." She places her hands over her chest and looks toward the heavens. "O great Cows of Light, we humans thank thee for thy milk which provides us with nourishment, especially this creamy deliciousness, we call-"

  My dad bursts into laughter. Mom starts giggling too, but I don't know what's funny. Their laughing makes me smile a bit, but it's mostly pretty embarrassing, so I just look down at my plate and focus on my food.

  After dinner, we buss the table and clear the dishes. We are dog tired from the harvest, but working together, we manage to get everything done pretty fast. But when we're finished, mom and dad don't pat me on the back and tell me to go to bed.

  That can only mean one thing!

  They put an arm around each other and look at me with their gentle golden brown eyes and smile at me with their beautiful white teeth.

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  YES! It's been weeks! No, months! I wanna scream and hop around like a crazy rabbit on a sugar high, but I hold my breath and clench my rattling fists.

  Mom goes around and shuts all the blinds and curtains as dad disappears into the other room. Mom checks the locks the door and turns on the radio by the sink, which immediately begins vomiting out a loud, fuzzy news broadcast.

  Dad comes back out with the one true holy relic: the Key. We have a lot of keys, but there's only one that really matters, and I'd swear off butter for the rest of my life to know were he hides it.

  The three of us slide the kitchen table across the room and move away the old foot rug. Dad slips the key into a little hole in the floorboards and pulls up a trap door. A set of old wooden steps leads down into blackness.

  Mom smiles at me, a hemp bag of goodies in her arms. Dad winks at me and hands me a flashlight.

  Flashlight in hand, I lead them down as quietly as I can manage. I don't know why they always say we have to be so quiet when we go in, but I would walk down the stairs on my hands if that's what I had to do to get my movie fix.

  Dad tosses a bunch of pillows on the ground and a thick blanket. Mom pulls out an ancient DVD player and TV and starts setting it up, while dad sorts through our stash of movies.

  "Tonight's movies are two of the best cop films ever made," he holds them up to show me: Turner and Hooch and Kindergarten Cop. "What do you think?"

  Both are really good choices, for sure. But we all know what I really want to watch.

  Dad chuckles and shakes his head. "Again, Ferdinand?"

  "We didn't get to watch T2 last time because Mom wanted to see Titanic. C'mon, please?"

  Dad grumbles as Mom joins in, begging him with me. "Let him pick! Look at that adorable face!"

  Dad doesn't stand a chance with mom on my side. With a groan, he gives in and takes out Terminator 2: Judgement Day. "But we're watching Turner and Hooch right after. Arnold was a great actor, but you need to broaden your horizons a little, young man."

  Everyone chuckles as dad puts in the DVD and mom pulls out the snacks, which are usually bread and some fruit from the garden.

  As the movie goes on, Dad wraps me in his arms, pulling me close so that his hot breath tickles my ears as he whispers his commentary and explanations about how everything works. He never talks about movies except when he's down here, so this is the only way I actually get to hear his comments.

  We don't have the other Terminator movies, and probably never will, but he saw them all and always remembers some plot point or piece of trivia, so I soak up his every word like a sponge left out in the sun. In fact, Dad and Mom always seem to know basically everything about everything.

  Being cozy next to my two favorite people is pure bliss, especially with the best movie of all time playing on that ancient television. Feeling their heavy bodies pressing against mine, hearing their adoring laughs, and seeing their smiles is the best.

  Aside from that, my eyes stay glued on the screen. Terminator 2 is a heck of a film. The bar fight, the mall scene, the motorcycle chase, the rescue of Sarah Connor, breaking into Cyberdyne, and the final showdown with the evil terminator all play out gloriously as always.

  But when Arnold sinks into the molten metal, there is a flash white light.

  I find myself huddled between my parents out on our dusty corn field. The dust blowing through the wild air is thicker than usual, and the sunlight shines orange red.

  "We told you to leave! Our answer is and will always be the same!" Dad's voice carries like thunder, even over the howling wind.

  The corn is way too tall to see over; I try to peek between the gaps, but I stop as soon as mom squeezes my arm.

  It sounds like whoever is there is yelling, but I can't hear them over the howling gusts. All I can tell is it sounds like a woman; a nasty one with a voice that sounds like an angry crow.

  Mom squeezes me so tight it hurts. "We told you to go! Go now and never come back!"

  The dusty air becomes darker and the sun starts to turn blood red as the woman's shouts become louder and angrier. The orange-yellow air becomes a deep, dark grey like a massive storm has suddenly rolled in overhead, and the wind begins to and whip and buck like a bull. As the darkness grows, it swallows everything, including us, like a pack of wolves closing in on some prey.

  "That's- No!" Dad and Mom duck down and hold onto me tight. "Lucasta! We have no choice! We can't-!"

  "I know!" A moment passes, and mom squeezes me tight. She looks at me with misty eyes and strokes my cheek with a shaky hand. "Be strong, Ferdinand. And remember that no matter where you go, we will always love you. In all the years we have lived, we have never known a joy greater than you."

  "Momma, I don't-"

  She kisses me on the forehead and my world goes white.