I am overwhelmed by a tempest of fiery power and my ears are filled with the sound of rushing wind and fire as it swirls around me in a roaring vortex of flames. It picks up speed, howling with the force of a tornado.

  I scream out in agony as I'm reduced to ash, suspended within a blazing hurricane that roars around me like a freight train. I am overwhelmed with fear as I am broken down and re-forged into something new, something far stronger and greater.

  Then, all at once, it stops.

  I blink a couple of times, and find myself kneeling on the remains of the cottage floor. The pendant glows softly in my hand, and I feel a kind of raw power coursing through my veins, and a fire smoldering in my heart.

  I shake my head. What the hell was that!? I was just touching it!

  As I stand up, I see that my house is scattered like burning garbage all over the flat, never-ending grassy plains. The roof, the walls, and most of flooring are now nothing but fiery slivers of black on blue grass in the eternal predawn light of Astraea.

  Well, that's not good.

  As I check out the destruction, I feel like my perspective is all wrong; like I'm standing up on a stool or something. In fact, everything feels different, from head to toe. But it doesn't feel bad.

  I almost fall over as I reach down to pick up a piece of mirror on the ground. As I do, I pull a bit at when I see my hand. What the hell? My hand is as big as a catcher's mitt!

  But it's not not just my hands. My arms, my legs, my chest; everything.

  What the hell? I'm huge!

  Then I pick up the shard, angling it to get the best view of in the dim light.

  Holy shit!

  Even though in the low light, I can clearly see the change: I am almost a completely different person. I look like I just stepped out of an action movie: black jeans, black t-shirt, black boots, and a sleek black leather biker jacket. I'm ripped, rugged, and ready for anything. My muscles are like steel plates under my tanned skin, and my hair is a thick, luxurious black pompadour.

  I sense something inside my jacket's inner breast pocket. I can't help but smile as I pull out a pair of fresh and amazing aviators. With them on, I look even more badass. Now that's what a goddamned Hero looks like!

  I chuck the mirror shard and begin to move around the ruins of the cottage, taking a few paces with my heavy boots. The ground seems to quake with the sound of my big steps. I feel sturdy; like I would be able to walk through a wall like it was paper.

  Oh, I gotta see this. I stop, clutch the Hero Pendant, and close my eyes for a few moments.

  Hey, you dumbass necklace! What are my stats?

  In seconds, strange blue runes appear in the darkness. They are completely alien to me, but I can still understand them somehow.

  NAME: FERDINAND LUCAS GLADWIN

  RACE: HUMAN (EARTH)

  ALIGNMENT: NEUTRAL

  INCORPORATED ELEMENTALS: NONE

  ARCHETYPE: CUSTOM

  PROFICIENCIES: HEALTH (SUPREME), STRENGTH (SUPREME), ENDURANCE (SUPREME)

  DEFICIENCIES: INTELLIGENCE (LACKING), WISDOM (LACKING), MANA (ABSENT)

  CORE ABILITY: HEART OF VENGEANCE

  ACTIVATED ABILITIES: BALLISTIC BEATDOWN, RAMPAGING REGENERATION, INCENSED INSTINCTS

  PASSIVE ABILITIES: HARDENED BY HARDSHIP, TOO ANGRY TO DIE

  OTHER EFFECTS: THE PRICE OF POWER: MAGIC

  I can't help but grin ear to ear. Damn, I'm strong! But more than that, I'm tough. Maybe too tough. I'll be able to protect Althea, Zazel, and Astraea from goddamned near anything with this kind of power.I give the Hero Pendant a quick little kiss and tuck it into my shirt.

  Okay, now let's see what I can do. I strike a few poses, and I notice my movements feel much more fluid and graceful than before, like that of a professional athlete or a martial artist.

  I perform some moves I remember seeing from a few movies back in the day, and they come back to me like a boomerang, but with way, way more power and speed. I feel like a master martial artist who's spent his entire life training in the most advanced and secretive fighting styles ever known.

  I begin to get into some kind of flow and start to kick and punch at the air with more and more power. I flinch a bit as the power of my blows striking out at the empty space in front of me creates massive cracking sounds and rushes of air. Fuckin' sweet!

  I ball my fist tight, admiring it with a smile. Shit, I shoulda done this from the get-go. Don't need magic if I've got skills like these. And with my insane endurance, it's almost like I'm cheating. I ain't playin' no game, though.

  Satisfied, I dust my hands and head over to the obliterated remains of the kitchen, grab some mystery jerky and one of the nasty wine skins. But as I do, something familiar on the ground catches my eye: that shield and sword I used to lug around. I turn toward them and wonder, for one stupid second, if I should bring them with me.

  I turn back. Nah. What was he thinking when he gave me that crap? Shoulda given me a motorcycle and a shotgun instead.

  Then I see the little burlap coin purse tied to the hilt of the sword; its contents begin to glow a bit through the material, almost as if calling out to me. Nope. Fuck that.

  I take a swig of the wine, make a face, and head out to Althea's.

  No time to waste. Those Limp Dicks will be here right on lightning tap and I ain't gonna get caught with my pants down.

  The endless ocean of grass is a dull shade of grayish-blue, and it stretches out as far as the eye can see in all directions. The sky above is a dull bluish-purple, a there's not a single star to be seen. A gentle breeze blows across the field, but my badass biker jacket and jeans keep me warm and cozy. Aside from the occasional rock, there is nothing in this big field aside from Althea's glittering tower in the far, far distance.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  Can't get this party started without ol' Althy. Though I can't imagine seeing her anywhere near one.

  The walk is long, but I enjoy it. I breathe in the fresh air; each lungful feels like a gift after all the smog I sucked in back home.

  And although the wine is kind of bad, its still better than what I had on Earth. And the jerky, regardless of what animal it may or may not have come from, is rich, spicy, and fatty. Couldn't afford much booze back home and meat? Actual honest-to-god meat? Forget about it. Even though we had cows, they were only for milking, and when they died we still didn't eat them because we could keep the far afloat for almost a year by selling the carcass.

  I gobble the meaty treats up by the fistful like someone is trying to steal them from me. Each strip makes feel like a king, and fills me with energy. Damn, that's nice. So simple, yet so delicious.

  I keep going and going, my thick biker boots crunching against the fresh grass. As I make progress, I begin to see more and more details of Althea's tower, which sparkles and shines nicely even through my aviators. It is tall and majestic, like a skyscraper of crystal and platinum. The huge thing shimmers, sparkles, and glows in the dull purple Astraean twilight.

  After hours and hours of walking, I finally reach the edge of the tower grounds. Looking up at the huge thing from so close makes it look like it punches right into space. I can't see the top, and looking for it makes be start to feel dizzy.

  Surrounding the mighty keep at the base is a big-ass wall made of huge bus-sized bricks of spotless white stone. I drink in the sight of Althea's not-so-humble home through my shades as I turn onto the long white cobblestone road to the gates of its gargantuan ramparts.

  After a steep hike up the long road, I come up over the crest and spot the two Knights that guard the gates. The cartoonish suits of shiny silvery plate armor are identical and each carry a matching sword and a shield. The helmets are closed and have a large feather jutting up into the air, like the plume of some big-ass bird.

  I close my eyes. Necklace, it's been a while. Tell me about the Knights.

  THEY ARE THE THRALLS OF THE ELEMENTAL OF ORDER. WHILE MOST ARE SUITED FOR MARTIAL ROLES, THERE ARE SOME THAT ARE PURPOSE-MADE TO SERVE IN NON-COMBAT ROLES, SUCH AS THOSE IN THE LEGAL, CLERICAL, AND CEREMONIAL DOMAINS.

  IN COMBAT, THEY ARE UNIFORM IN THEIR TACTICS, AND EACH WIELDS A SWORD AND SHIELD. WHILE THEIR OFFENSIVE CAPABILITIES ARE REASONABLE, THEIR DEFENSES ARE RATHER STRONG, ESPECIALLY WHEN FIGHTING IN CERTAIN FORMATIONS.

  Legal shit. Now I remember. Makes my piss come to a boil just thinking about it.

  I open my eye and head over to them. They are perfectly still as I approach; they don't budge even once.

  I stop some feet away and wave a hand. "Yo."

  A moment passes, then metal rubs against metal as the Knights courteously nod. They speak in unison: "Please state your business."

  "I wanna enter the tower and meet with the Elemental of Order."

  "Do you have an official invitation or writ of passage?"

  I reach into my shirt and display the Hero Pendant. "As you can see, I am the Hero."

  They shift subtly. Then one marches up to me and leans in to inspect the pendant. It lifts its shining steel visor and leans in more, revealing its hollow interior for a moment.

  It closes the visor and returns to its position. It spins back around and speaks in unison with the other: "We are under orders to allow entry to anyone wearing a Hero Pendant. However, you must still fill out the appropriate forms and make guarantees before passage may be granted. No exceptions, even for the Hero."

  "Oh, you will be making exceptions. If you think I'm gonna-"

  I stare as the two guards march over to and open a small door next to the gate. Two more suits of armor with fancy medieval clothes stretched out over each them emerge carrying a fancy white desk and two equally fancy matching chairs . Three other identically dressed Knights follow them out with a tea set, a large box of stationery, and a ridiculously large stack of papers.

  "Unbelievable," I watch as the Knights set the table and chair in front of me, set up the inkwells and quills, and pour a cup of steaming hot tea.

  "Please, have a seat and fill out these forms," it sets them neatly on the table. "You must make guarantees before passage may be granted."

  "No dice."

  "Please fill out the appropriate forms. No exceptions, even for the Hero."

  "Hell no."

  "No exceptions, even for the Hero."

  "Blow me."

  One of the Knights sits down at the table and gestures politely to the papers. "Please fill out the appropriate forms."

  I walk forward and lean into one of the Knights. "Dammit, Althea! I know you can hear this! Let me in right now! You know I'm the Hero! Why do I gotta do this!?"

  The Knights ignore me and continue to stand silently at attention.

  I point at them. "Look, I'm not gonna fill out this bullshit. Open the fucking gates."

  "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  I shove the papers back across the table. "Get this garbage away from me and let me in."

  The Knights still ignore me.

  "Althea! Open the door! Seriously, what is the fucking point!? I can't even read this crap!"

  There is complete and utter silence. The Lawyer Knight at the table shifts slightly, folds its hands, and rests them on the table next to the fat stack of forms.

  I let out a huge sigh. "Fuuuuuck."

  I plop down, snatch up a quill from the table, and begin filling out the first form.

  The Lawyer Knight nods. "Please sign at the bottom."

  After what feels like a century, I finish the last form and flick it at the Lawyer Knight, who inspects the signatures carefully and meticulously, ensuring that they match the previous pages.

  I fold my arms and tap my foot. "C'mon, dude."

  After a good, long moment, the Lawyer Knight speaks. "Your paperwork is satisfactory. We will open the gates now."

  "Wow, finally." I stand and start walking to the gate.

  The Lawyer Knights bow, pick up the papers, tea set, utensils, desk, and chairs, and retire back through the small door. The first two Knights return to their positions and the massive silver doors start to slide open as soon as they are back in place. I bump shoulders with a Knight as I pass through, march through the courtyard, and push my way into the keep.

  The inside of the keep is impressive. Every inch of it is pristine, exquisite, and bathed in a gentle white light. It is the cleanest and fanciest place I have ever been; nothing back on Earth even comes close.

  The sparkling crystal pillars are really mesmerizing. They are made of the clearest crystal, and they reflect the light in a way that makes me feel like I am walking through a kaleidoscope. The white marble floors are polished to a shine, and they shimmer in the magical lights that decorate the walls.

  The tapestries and murals catch my attention for a moment. They are delicately woven and painted with a lot detail and I feel like they almost want to be touched or something. I don't know what they represent, exactly, but the images look kind of religious, like the pictures from some old books my parents used to show me.

  Another Lawyer Knight approaches me from out of nowhere, arms loaded with a thick stack of papers and forms. "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  "Nope." I push past it and begin walking down the hall again.

  It follows closely behind. "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  "Nah, I'm done with that bullshit."

  "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  "Shut up or I'll kick your ass." I flip it the bird as I pick up the pace.

  "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  I climb the huge spiral stairs and make my way up several floors, the Lawyer repeating itself and following closely behind me the whole time.

  After reaching the landing, I head down a big hall and to the massive double doors of the audience chamber. At the end, in front of the brilliant silver doors, I see a mighty golden suit of armor standing tall and firm in front of them. Its hands rest on a massive sheathed broadsword in front of it, which is almost as big as the metal man himself. It gleams in the light, each piece shining with a lustrous sheen that makes it seem lit's made of pure gold.

  I stop a few feet away and wave at it, but Sir Biscuit is dead silent and doesn't move an inch.

  The Lawyer Knight almost bumps into me as it stops. "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  "I told you to beat it, douchebag!"

  "Please fill out the appropriate forms, Hero."

  I swat at it like it's a housefly before turning back to Sir Biscuit.

  Sir Biscuit remains silent and still.

  "Let me in."

  No response.

  "C'mon."

  Nothing.

  "Really?"

  Complete and utter silence.

  I clench my fists. "Open the fucking door!"

  It remains as still and silent as the metal it's made of.

  "Goddammit."

  The Lawyer holds out the papers for the thousandth time. "Please-"

  I snatch them out of its hands. "Could you at least bring me something to write on?"

  I use a nearby wall as a writing surface to finish the forms, and I'm able to manage it without losing too much of my sanity. I practically throw the forms back at the Lawyer Knight, who tidies and inspects the pages carefully and meticulously, apparently checking to see if they match the previous sheets.

  Finally, it looks up at me again. "Hero, your paperwork is satisfactory."

  "Cool. Now hurry up."

  The Knight goes back down the corridor as Sir Biscuit swings open the massive doors. The golden warrior gestures politely and I march my ass right in there.