[ Part 4 of the Royalty & Loyalty Series ]

  "..."

  Hana Zurgen. A being that can only see pitch black, a void that stretches out into infinity. A void that only she can comprehend what it really is. No one can gaze into the void like she can, with eyes that bar her from enjoying the universe in its infinitely stretching beauty.

  She can't enjoy a sense of touch, something only she can comprehend too. One would say losing the meaning of sight and touch would mean that you're edging closer to being free.

  Being truly free, means being truly dead.

  That's something Hana stood by ever since she was born.

  The lack of eyesight and the lack of touch, it made her feel like she's not a living being, but merely a vessel that's traversing the infinite cosmos, an aimless vessel at that.

  But what really is the meaning to be truly free in the midst of a controlling world? Being free comes not with the very meaning of "free", but the meaning of everything that makes everything "free".

  Destruction, erasure, incomprehension.

  Or the fact that nothing holds meaning at all.

  The galaxy is filled with people who have a meaning to be alive. Those who do have meaning are the ones who are chained by their very own will, a will to live.

  Nothing brought them to life, yet they mindlessly search for ways to survive. They weren't given a goal to life their live how something wants them to live it.

  Those who let go of their will to live, are those closest to being free.

  They were brought into this world, from nothingness.

  A meaningless life.

  A meaningless body.

  A meaningless will.

  To live, is to live a meaningless life.

  So why does she, a meaningless living being, have to live with a meaningless defect?

  If she is meaningless, then why does she have to live?

  The ceiling didn't provide an answer to any of her questions. Not that there would be a ceiling she'd know to look at it. There is a ceiling, however she'd never know since she can't feel it nor see it.

  The only way she would understand if there was a ceiling, is that if she tapped it to hear the sound of it.

  Even so, she can't just make it out to be a ceiling by just hearing a metallic noise.

  That's Hana Zurgen, someone that is never too sure of something.

  She isn't even sure if she has a fully functioning body.

  Hell, she could even assume no human carries actual flesh, but something else, something far more different.

  "What is the meaning of being Born Free...?"

  She asked that question a couple of times already. She didn't know who she was going to ask the question to. Maybe Serith Arannis will have an answer to that question. But Hana isn't sure if Serith will know either.

  .:. I don't think anyone has the answer to being truly Born Free... but being Made Free... .:.

  What is the meaning of being Made Free?

  If one is not born of freedom, then they must be made into it.

  If one has no meaning to life, they must be made into having a meaning, but then that defeats the purpose of having no meaning at all.

  But... if being made free is the meaning to being free, then the rest of the universe is already meaningless, including being born free.

  So what truly is it? Born Free? Made Free?

  To let go of everything and carry no meaning to everything you once thought had a meaning, that is freedom. That is being Made Free.

  To be born into nothing and to become nothing in a world of nothingness, that is being Born Free.

  So which is Serith? Is he Born Free or Made Free?

  And what am I? Made Free or Born Free?

  There's no answer.

  Not yet.

  .:. "The idea that you are free... is what you should strive for." .:.

  .:. "No one in this world is free." .:.

  ...

  I simply can't comprehend the meaning of being free.

  Does freedom really exist?

  Beyond where I can stretch into, possibly hanging on the edge of a place I can never enter, let alone witness?

  Even if I am eternal and exist forever, will there still be a question that I can never get the answer to?

  Maybe that is how it feels to hold meaning.

  To live with a meaning in a meaningless life.

  If I let that go... will I truly be free?

  ... I don't know.

  But perhaps, the answer will show itself to me one day.

  "... Will it be too late then?"

  Being Made Free... or Being Born Free...

  How do I become free?

  ...

  I want to be free...

  Maybe that's what she wanted too.

  A world that double-crossed her like it did me, wanting the snow to engulf her in a void of white.

  If Serith Arannis, he who is Born Free and Made Free, can show me the answer to it all...

  Maybe I wouldn't have to kill myself to be Made Free.

  -

  “Huff--!!” Hana was jumping from tree to tree in a forested region of Minos-VIII, this action was initiated as an evasion from a rock-monster she was fighting called “Galakua”, Galakuas are rock formatted creatures on this world, although not particularly dangerous, a fully grown Galakua can put a Soul-Wielder of decent power through a tough time but if there were MANY Galakua, it can put even Hana in a bad time.

  “HH-“ She narrowly avoided a claw strike from the Galakua, they attain a bulky, tank-y build but lose a lot of agility and speed because of it, something that Hana will have an edge over.

  After avoiding its claw strike, she gracefully landed on its arm and went down to an axe-kick on its head, obliterating it into pieces and rock remains flying everywhere.

  Another one swooped in and tackled Hana head-on, Hana’s senses were not on point which resulted with the tackle connecting. She knew she was hit because of how her breath cracked her voice.

  “WoAH-”

  Hana slammed right through a tree and was stuck in a hefty grip, however, being the special case she is, her current strength is vastly superior to these rock creatures.

  Ironic, isn’t it?

  Hana is a mere Testharian, sure Testharian on average possess good physicals without a Soul but for Hana, she passively has this incredible strength that despite being seen as a fragile girl, she packs explosive hits – much like her mentor, Serith Arannis.

  “So cheap.” The Galakua burst apart from Hana’s sheer strength.

  Smoke kicked up from the weight of the Galakua’s rocks, standing in the middle of it was Hana. Ahead she felt the ground vibration, indicating that much more Galakua’s turned up.

  “..3…4…hm...”

  Hana got into a defensive stance, she picked up a few things learning under Serith, all in a few weeks’ worth of training.

  So far, she has managed to keep a steady control of her total strength, currently, she must learn the perfect equilibrium, which relies heavily on the senses.

  Due to a lack of eyesight, touch, balance and acrobatics is key for the kind Hana belongs to, without it, speed and agility do not mean much paired with strength alone – it’s technique that closes the deal in many scenarios. She must rely on sound more than everyone in the galaxy, even Serith.

  The Galakuas bunched up, a niche ability they are capable of is a rock-fusion, they can become the ultimate Galakua if they come together and fuse into each other.

  All four Galakuas fused, multiplying their strength and their size, Hana had to face a kaiju of a monster, a rock monster.

  “How the hell am I meant to defeat that…?”

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  The Ultimate Galakua roared out, scaring away all the peaceful wildlife and looking down at Hana. It raised its building-like arm and aimed at Hana.

  She backflipped away, landing on the side of the tree and using the tree to propel herself onto its arm after impact. The sound was close to what she predicted. The impact of the Galakua’s punch put down a large crater and the destruction of multiple trees.

  Hana ran and dashed up toward its forearm, she super-jumped toward its head and was going for a quick lethal blow without having to give it time to adapt.

  The large size of the Galakua meant the more surface-area of attack, which meant that this incoming backhand would be about impossible for Hana to avoid without sensing it beforehand.

  “GU-“ Hana was backhanded by the Ultimate Galakua, the force of impact sent her straight down and crashing with a strong enough impact to form a big crater around her.

  .:. My mind is all over the place… Did I get hit instead? .:.

  “…H-how am I…”

  She laid there, disappointed. An Ultimate Galakua will shred right through squads upon squads within the Dark Intrinium but for Hana it just meant that she isn’t strong enough to even kill a creature of no thought, no self-autonomy – essentially a lower life form to Hana, just how see is often seen as.

  “….”

  “Lay if you must, but your enemies will not give you that opportunity in true combat.”

  Serith stepped by, looking down at her.

  “…Lay? I’m laying down now?”

  “You are.”

  “…I got hit, didn’t I? S-sorry, Serith…”

  An unwanted apology however, Serith couldn’t care any less, well, it isn’t that he couldn’t care but rather…

  “Hana, know one thing about your opponent, they all share one very thing in common.”

  The Galakua set its sights on Serith next, it raised its building-sized fist, striking down to immediately wipe him out in one blow.

  ?!

  “It’s that they can feel death also.”

  Serith stood there, unaffected, not only that, but he also stopped the Galakua’s punch with his hand, one hand.

  The Galakua turned its head slightly – only to be shredded apart instantly after its attempt of killing Serith.

  Hana sensed it, she heard Serith wipe out this huge rock monster in just one attack.

  It was raining small pieces of rock all over the area, he moved so quickly that even the Galakua didn’t know what happened until it was too late.

  …but rather Serith was also a creature of no thought.

  -

  The two sat around a campfire. Hana recovered from her injury earlier a lot quicker due to an enhanced healing factor and a good meal. A good meal, something Hana couldn’t enjoy in a while and in an unusual scenario no less.

  The feeling of a soft tissue or a perfectly cooked, tender meat.

  She’s banned from experiencing it in it’s fullest glory.

  Serith didn’t concern himself with a meal, much less because he wasn’t hungry, rather he didn’t need to, those were the advancements in his body.

  He took out a cloth from his coat pocket, grabbing a weapon of his which was a sword and began to clean and wipe off any stains there were from killing that Ultimate Galakua.

  Hana could always hear the metal clings when Serith is in proximity, she was able to deduce that he does carry a weapon of his own, but of what kind is what poked Hana’s curiosity.

  “…You carry a sword, but given your strength, I will say that I am surprised that it has not destroyed itself from the blows you initiate, why is that?” Hana asked.

  Serith didn’t change his posture or expression when asked.

  “The blade’s name is Lunette. It is a natural-born foundation of the galaxy, it has life and its life is to empower whoever bears its strength, the bearer returns its strength and simply increases.” He explained.

  The design of the blade was simple, it had no added attachments, no unique engravings or hilt design. The color was primarily jet black, in fact, it was ONLY jet black, displaying a lack of any contrasting colors.

  It is a blade not known as a gimmick but talent.

  Hana raised both brows, surprised because she knew what it was.

  “You have a Soul Artifact? That is far from normal that someone like you- or us, bother utilizing what is of the world.”

  “Us…”

  Hana thought on that word, ‘us’, she doesn’t know who or what she is, nor what Serith is. After all the time that has passed training under Serith, no questions have been answered about what she is, it was in her right to now ask.

  A question that will finally place her at the edge of the universe, where the answer lingers to be questioned.

  Something she chased for her entire life… What she was… What he was…

  …

  …

  “Serith, what are we?-“

  “We are nothing.”

  Before Hana’s question was able to be processed, she received an answer immediately, but not an answer that made sense or even proven.

  “What? Nothing? What does that even mean…”

  Hana wasn’t fond of that response and hoped for a better answer, to her, it seemed lousy coming from Serith however this is Serith she is talking about.

  “Our existence, what we are, it means nothing. This World is ruled by the wielders of the Soul, something that I find does not exist.”

  “But Souls do exist, I know of people that possess those traits.”

  “It is untrue, why do you feel the blinded alienation of others you know, others you care for?”

  “Because I’ve made terrible mistakes, it isn’t that at all.”

  Hana stood up.

  “You talk as if you know all about me, Serith. I have never mentioned anything about my past or that relative. But you are here because you know what I am so why don’t you just tell me?”

  Hana was demanding at this point, demanding an answer so clear and so simple, why couldn’t Serith deliver?

  The meaning of being Born Free or being Made Free.

  . . .

  “Why can’t you see?”

  . . .

  “Why can’t you feel?”

  . . .

  Hana let out a breath, unable to respond. She placed her hand on her chest, but could not feel a thing, she lifted her hand to look up at but could not see a thing.

  . . .

  “You are frivolous, Hana. What you are is cursed to the one’s at the top, no merit in your existence…”

  . . .

  “Why do you seek so deep for an answer? Do you not wish for freedom? Abandon any future you think there is, any purpose you may have – you matter to none and that will be your freedom…

  You will die either way, so die free, Hana.”

  . . .

  No!

  NO!

  It hurts, why does it hurt? I can’t feel a thing. What is he saying? Why does it hurt? Die free? Freedom? An answer, but the answer hurts, it’s hurting me right now. Make it stop, stop, stop.

  Stop.

  Stop.

  Stop.

  Stop!

  Stop!

  He’s putting thoughts into my head! It trembles! It hurts! Please, stop. It hurts, why are his words making me feel this way? What is he? He is lost? Was he the answer?

  I cannot see anything, but I can feel… everything... it hurts.

  Stop.

  Stop.

  Stop!

  Stop!

  STOP!

  .

  .

  .

  The buzzing… the humming… It’s… It’s…

  “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

  Hana fell to her knees, crying out as if she was in pain. Serith remained unmoved.

  “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ALL I AM HEARING IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE TO GIVE UP ON YOUR LIFE.”

  DIE FREE? WHAT KIND OF TRADEGY ARE YOU? YOU SAY THAT I AM CURSED BUT I HAVE A REASON TO GO!”

  “ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THE ANSWER TO IT ALL DOESN’T EXIST? THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER?”

  “YOU ARE WHAT IS CURSED, SERITH! YOU HAVE ALL THIS POWER, ENOUGH SO YOU CAN CONQUER WORLDS- CONQUER KINGS! YOU CAN BE A GOD!”

  . . .

  “YOU ARE A GOD!”

  How far from the truth I could have been about him.

  “…”

  “Gods do not exist.”

  “Nothing more tragic than having a make-belief of ‘god’, no such thing. Souls fall under that; they do not exist.”

  “We are the same whether you despise it or not, you cannot break from what you were born to be.”

  “I am no god. I am a natural born.”

  “I don’t delude myself like you have. This is acceptance, power does not rule. I am merely just a cog in the clock work for this World.”

  “If you fail to understand then there is nothing here for you.”

  All while Serith still remained unmoved.

  “…”

  I was able to understand finally, I knew what he was, what he is, it is the only time that I ever felt hurt not because of me….

  Hana tapped on a piece of metal on the ground, picking up a hunting dagger that was used to kill for the meal she ate.

  “If you are nothing- then why don’t YOU…”

  She did a full dash toward Serith, backhanding the dagger for a lethal slice.

  “…DIE FREE!”

  Serith reacted instinctively, parrying her attack and staggering her into the nearest tree.

  “...My orders are left unfulfilled if something were to happen now, Lord Veyron made clear of that.” He responded, raising his blade at her.

  “Orders!?”

  “I find it unnecessary in the first place to have this altercation, Hana.”

  Hana kicked up against the tree and front flipped onto the ground, displaying her acquire acrobatics.

  “Because you speak like you are inferior! I know DAMN WELL you could destroy Veyron if you wanted- YOU COULD DESTROY THE ROYAL ERIA IF YOU PLEASE!”

  She went in for round 2, hoping to even get a scratch on him. The two have sparred many times before but now it felt as if Hana wanted to kill Serith.

  .:. Stop… the buzzing in my head! .:.

  Serith went for a basic swing, but Hana sensed it and dodged to the right, jumping to his behind. Upon landing she turned around with a full force swing with the dagger but hit absolutely nothing.

  .:. Where did he-?! .:.

  Serith had been the one that ended up behind her, counter-attacking her moves, ultimately tornado kicking her down into the dark forest.

  Hana had been sent flying, but it wouldn’t stop there. Serith broke her momentum by placing himself where she was heading for, with perfect timing, he elbowed her across the jaw, launching her into the sky.

  …His attacks, his intent to kill do not exist, each contact feels devoid, like I am the one attacking myself – that’s how I knew and what had ultimately broken me that day..

  .:. His blows hurt… The buzzing gets louder… that’s pain… .:.

  He blitzes past the falling Hana, axe-kicking her to the side for even more airtime. Tears fell from Hana’s eyes, not because of pain, she could not feel pain in the physical world but in the mental world.

  Serith, I am so sorry..

  Hana regained her balance, turning her body to predict where Serith was going to be, but it was too late, Serith’s speed was on a fundamental-level.. possibly beyond. Paired with his strength. There was no doubt in what Hana said – Serith could really defeat Lord Veyron if he tried.

  Serith delivered a series of punches to Hana’s chest, he did so with surgical precision, only striking points in her body that do not create internal ruptures or hemorrhaging.

  You were just a boy, weren’t you, Serith? The name of your blade isn’t what it’s truly called…

  She recovered quickly, dashing through the air to strike at Serith again, tears falling out of her eyes rapidly. Serith opened his palms.

  …it’s the name you gave it because it is all that you ever had, right?

  He let himself get impaled through his hand, Hana’s head was faced down, crying.

  You were contradicting but it all made sense, you say that the World is ruled by Soul-Wielders, but you do not believe them.

  You seek freedom through a meaningless intent but still follow orders given by Lord Veyron.

  It all seemed pathetic but it’s clear to me now. You were not tragedy incarnate, Serith.

  . . .

  Serith looked into the eyes of Hana, eyes that she is unable to see out of. He saw the tears flow out.

  The two fall out of the sky finally, Serith was careful to make sure he took the landing impact with Hana on top of her, though she couldn’t feel pain, he still didn’t want her to bear any injuries because of him ultimately.

  He removed the dagger from his hand, watching the blood drip from his hand in which a single drop landed near the tears of Hana.

  . . .

  Serith, your curse was your body, wasn’t it? You are human, you want to believe there is a soul, you want to believe that you have a soul? I’m sorry, Serith. You do not have a soul, no matter how hard you want to try to believe, there is a cognition in your mind that will refuse that concept and ultimately revoke your own existence altogether.

  . . .

  You are not tragedy incarnate.

  You are alone.

  -

  -

  -

  -

  Next Morning…

  Serith stood up from the ground, where he had been sleeping as he looked over, to find Hana missing. Piecing it all together, Hana had left him behind.

  He turned his body, facing the direction of sun rise.

  He stared for a good while.

  The sword that was perched against a tree rattled vigorously before bursting into particles and taking form.

  The form was that of a woman. It was Lunette.

  “She has left.”

  “Tell me, Serith.” Lunette walked over, leaning against his arm,

  “Why did you care about sticking around? You only trained based on given orders. What is the exception here?”

  Lunette asked.

  ..

  “Hana was something different, she was different like me. She was like me, is like me but has full acceptance of herself and has the will to find the purpose.”

  The sun rose, rose beautifully over the dusty planet.

  “Tell me the truth, Serith.” Lunette said.

  ”I didn’t want to be alone.”