It was a long, quiet journey back to Blackstone Station. The hum of the engines was the only thing that battled the shared silence the rescue team and the Star Gazer Squad had.

  They fought with their life on the line to save the one person that could've struck a huge blow in Dark Intrinium by controlling the biggest route in the eastern Milky Way, but failed.

  Mikael had a dead look in his eyes, Nanasu was petting Kleine while Claude was slumped over the comms station. He had just relayed the message to Central Command, but he felt like he had just signed a death warrant.

  It was eerie, too eerie.

  They came into this fight with confidence and in good spirits. So much that Nanasu brought her handheld because she thought it would be an easy task.

  Now they're coming home with injuries that will take weeks to heal without a Support-Type doctor present.

  "Did we really think that was going to be easy?" Nanasu broke the silence, barely audible to consider it whispering. "All that bragging... all that confidence... for nothing."

  "The Uprising of Kytron are a different breed. We underestimated them. That's all there is to it." Mikael responded, not moving an inch from the bench he sat on. He looked down at the floor, seeing a reflection of himself in the metal.

  "... If they have such a squad to wreak havoc across the galaxy, imagine the rest of Dark Intrinium's forces. We'll be fighting a war we can't win."

  "The only war you can't win is the one you don't fight." Claude said, still slumped over the comms station. He balled one fist and slapped it on his other open palm. "They were so strong, it just makes me want to feign for more! It's like I've unlocked a new power!"

  "Huh? Are you okay? You took a pretty bad slash to the back." Mikael said, finally looking up.

  "Cheap tricks!" He laughed.

  Nanasu didn't even bat an eye toward her beloved captain, nor Mikael or not even to her pet. She stared out the window with a blank stare. She saw the same reflection as Mikael, but it wasn't her. It was a memory. A memory of her old squad. A memory of her past.

  .:. "Valadne... Captain of the Comet Glider Squad." .:.

  .:. "It's a shame you'll follow your brother in his footsteps... into a grave." .:.

  -

  2189

  "Dracon! Let them go! They are not yours to fiddle with! They have lives, they have families to go back to! This war is over!"

  Nanasu screamed to the Hyperkiller with a broken arm and a full-bloody leg. She was holding on for dear life by grabbing a piece of rubble that she had kicked out.

  The Hyperkiller, Dracon, had dealt a strong physical blow to one of her squadmates, Anton Foyer.

  A punch so strong that the condensed shockwave of it blew a huge hole in his guts. He was down, drowning in his own blood. The only thing he could do right now is beg Nanasu, her captain for help.

  And another squadmate down on the ground was Jencent Neskal. It was only 3 months ago that he became part of the Comet Glider Squad. Just 3 months. It would be a shame to die so quickly.

  To someone who calls himself:

  Dracon, The Soul Tyrant.

  Someone who wants power for the sake of eliminating any fear of not having such a power.

  "Dracon!"

  Nanasu yelled again, blood pouring out of her mouth. She had enough. She let go of the rubble and charged at Dracon.

  But Dracon just laughed. "Here! Take your pathetic squadmate with you then!"

  Dracon threw Jencent towards Nanasu, forcing her to catch him. He landed on Nanasu's arms but as she caught him, Dracon blasted a condensed Soul-Beam at Jencent's neck.

  It hit an artery, causing the blood to gush out of his neck wound. He choked on his own blood, desperately trying to breathe. Nanasu's tears started to well up as she tried to patch up the wound with her hands.

  It was as if their deaths were written a long time ago.

  Only she wouldn't expect it to happen to be in her arms.

  The blood gushed out harder, turning Nanasu's face in a deep crimson red.

  "... DRACON! YOUR LUST FOR POWER WILL BE YOUR UNDOING!" Anton had turned around with the last strength he had. To blow his face off, he charged a Soul-Beam at Dracon's face.

  Dracon was unaffected however, as his unstable Soul-Aura disintegrated it before it hit him. At this point, Anton knew he was going to die.

  But if he was going to die... He'd die trying to live.

  He was the person that taught Nanasu to live with that in mind.

  "DRACON! NO!" She yelled once again.

  Anton had one thing to say to Nanasu but didn't get the chance to do so, as his head was crushed into a bloody pulp by Dracon's foot.

  Her squadmates died, in the worst ways possible.

  Jencent choked on his own blood, losing all control of his own body while Anton got a hole in his stomach and a crushed head.

  Those were such gruesome deaths that it etched into Nanasu's mind forever. She would see these images for the rest of her life.

  And the last thing that came to her mind was... that she was powerless to save them. Always powerless. That's what she was.

  A powerless figure in a domain of powerful beings.

  She would always be in the other side of it. Always someone to be saved. Never the one to save. That's what she thought.

  She joined Soul-Core to be a saviour of justice, not to see her squadmates die right in front of her in the worst ways possible.

  The squad that she made more memories with than the Star Gazer Squad was reduced to nothing more but a nightmare of a memory, all because of a person that longed for power. Power to control, power to become the fear that made him fear power. Fear of being weak.

  The competent captain, Captain Valadne, was no more.

  Now all that's left is a slothful, scared girl that's fighting for a cause that she can barely handle.

  -

  The sobbing became gradually louder. Louder and louder until it turned into hysterical weeping. Nanasu was curled into a ball, with Kleine on the other side of the rescue shuttle.

  The sobbing made everyone uncomfortable here, even Claude. A captain so stupid that only marches them to their deaths. That's what Nanasu thought.

  "So, uhh..." Mikael tried to collect some audible feedback from other people other than the weeping.

  "Mhm..." Claude leaned back on his seat with his hands behind his head and his leg crossed with the other.

  "How long of a break do you think command will give us once we get back."

  "Probably a week or so... Too much couldn't have happened while we were gone, eh?" Claude smiled.

  "Heh... I guess not. It's only been a few days."

  The silence returned, but this time, it was punctuated by the sound of Nanasu's weeping. Kleine tried to comfort her, purring and rubbing its head against her arm, but it was no use.

  "... Nanasu? Are you alright?" Mikael finally acknowledged her, trying to break through her wall of grief but only to stop the sobbing since he couldn't ignore it anymore. He too had bigger things to worry about other than her 'childish' act.

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  "...Alright? Am I alright!? Do I look like I'm fucking alright, Mikael!?" Nanasu held a strong eye contact with him, her body shaking entirely.

  "We almost fucking died back there! We're always hanging on the edge with your lives, doesn't that scare you guys one bit!? You can't possibly enjoy this, Captain!"

  Claude stopped leaning back, now leaning forward. He had a serious expression on his face.

  "How are you guys so calm about this!? Do you guys just not value your lives at all!? Would you guys be okay with dying or something-"

  "Who says we're calm? I can't speak for Boss, but I was terrified nevertheless." Mikael responded with a stern body expression. "This is our job, Nanasu. You should expect to not live a long life if you are constantly fighting for your life."

  Nanasu didn't buy it. She thought that Mikael was just putting on a brave face, that deep down, he was just as scared as she was. But she couldn't see it.

  "The best of the best also face the worst of the worst, even if we don't want to."

  "Look at the injuries we all sustained! We go out in the battlefield all confident and strong and we come back all battered and bruised up. Like fucking robots, we go in and break ourselves beyond repair!"

  "I thought you joined the Soul-Core to fight for justice, not to cry like a little baby when you get a few scratches." Mikael said, his voice laced with a hint of disappointment. He expected more from Nanasu, especially since she used to be a captain herself.

  "You've been in this game for a long time; I would've assumed you understand the conditions of being a soldier of the Soul-Core. You are much older than we are, and you've made it this far."

  "..."

  Nanasu stood up, limping with pain. She walked over to Claude; her eyes locked on him. It's all because of him anyways. This is a person who goes in battles like a suicidal maniac and loves the thrill of it. He likes living life on the fast lane.

  He's a person who enjoys the thrill of the fight.

  And Nanasu, being Nanasu, couldn't possibly understand how someone gets off on that.

  "... Is that what this is to you!? A game!? This is all just a fucking game to you!?" She yelled at Claude, her face inches away from his.

  "It's all because your fucking knack for fighting that we get in these situations! Excuse me for valuing my life more than you guys do, but if this is gonna continue like that then I'm not going to follow you guys anywhere, ANYMORE!" She then stormed off to the back of the shuttle, leaving Mikael and Claude alone.

  "So that's it? You're just going to pussy out like you always do?" Mikael was the second to stand up, yelling at her before she completely made it to the back. She stopped in her tracks.

  "We stuck our necks to save each other's asses for years, just for you to turn your back on us and resign?"

  Mikael too, had a hard time to keep his anger inside. The tone changes in his voice was enough for Nanasu and Claude to pick up on it. Both wanted to blow off steam, just not at each other.

  Claude was on high alert as Mikael yelled at her. The paramedics of the rescue team didn't look at the squad at all. They were more focused on the mission they just had and the injured they had to treat. They were in their own little world.

  "Mikael, enough..."

  "No, no, it's about time she has learned that if she's going to cry after ever mission, that she is not capable of being a soldier! If you value your life so much, why the fuck don't you stay home instead of bringing us down and being in our way!?"

  Nanasu's tears streamed down her cheeks, trying to balance rage with sadness. Mikael continued his rant.

  "I've been in a hospital bed 3 times this last month. I don't go around crying like a fucking kid seeking compassion from my own squadmates! I'm not going to sit quiet and let my pain be for nothing! I'm not going to agree with you resigning and let all the times that I've saved you from certain death be for nothing!"

  Both Nanasu and Mikael were wrong about one thing. This whole time, they were talking about themselves and their own hardships. They never once acknowledged each other's hardships. They just used them as a justification to be angry at each other.

  "You've been living your life on the edge for half your fucking life? What happened that's changed you? What happened to you that you became a former shell of yourself!? Or were you ever really a captain?"

  "Mikael, stop." Now Claude stood up. He wasn't mad. He was more concerned about Mikael's and Nanasu's health. This could get out of hand. Very, very quickly.

  "You were never there, Mikael! You never saw what happened! You never saw your friends die right in front of you! You never had to carry the weight of a dead squad! So don't you DARE tell me how to feel! I saw things I wish I've never seen! I saw my squadmates die in the most gruesome ways possible!"

  Mikael was the one that stayed quiet now, hearing Nanasu exploding in a fit of rage and despair. There were some things that she kept bubbling up inside her for years.

  "I can't bear to see another squad die in front of me! Maybe I am pathetic! Maybe I don't deserve to be a soldier! But I am sick and fucking tired of seeing people die constantly! Maybe you aren't so vocal about it, or maybe you've grown to get used to it! But I don't! I DON'T GET USED TO IT!"

  Nanasu stomped the floor, crying even harder. Was this just a kiddie tantrum at this point.

  No, both Mikael and Claude understood that something deeper was going on. This wasn't a tantrum; this was a cry for help.

  "I was born because we were given life! And I intend to lead that life to live it to it's fullest! I can't do that if I'm always fighting for my life and seeing others die! If this means resigning, then so be it! And if you guys want to live life on the edge, then BE MY FUCKING GUEST!"

  ...

  ...

  .:. That's where you're wrong, Nanasu. .:.

  .:. I don't live life on the edge... I just want to save lives. .:.

  "..."

  "You've seen countless people die. You've seen countless people get their heads blown off, their arms, their legs, their torso's. The death of your squadmates, what does it matter?"

  "... What did you say!?"

  "They all knew what they signed up for. YOU knew what you signed up for, yet you use the death of your old squad as a shield to deflect any form of criticism."

  "Mikael!" Claude interfered now. He wasn't going to let this slide. He put his hand on Mikael's shoulder.

  "Go on then, resign. If you want to leave, fine. But don't pretend to be my squadmate anymore. I'm sure everyone here will have a weight off their shoulders now that the squad's resident coward is finally out."

  "..."

  The silence was eerie. Too eerie.

  The paramedics didn't even turn an eye.

  Mikael's words were harsh, but they were true. Nanasu was being a coward. All the words that she spoke wasn't meant to be a cry for help. It was meant to be a confession. She tried everything in her arsenal to justify resigning. But there was only one justification that came out of her.

  Fear.

  She was a coward.

  Mikael was way too angry to caution any restraint. Even Claude would be a bit more compassionate to someone like Nanasu. It wouldn't really matter one bit. The Star Gazer Squad may be just a simple squad, but they were friends.

  They were best friends.

  They laugh, they sing, they play together. They train together, they fight together, they joke together.

  They all had different personalities to balance out the eccentric atmosphere.

  Claude, the stupid but charismatic and inspiring leader.

  Mikael, the valiant, stoic but witty elite.

  And Nanasu, the slothful, anxious but kind-hearted member.

  But this argument was about to change everything.

  It already did.

  She wanted to live a life of peace. But that's the thing that she must fight for. Peace wasn't given; it was earned. And to earn it, you must fight. Being a soldier of Soul-Core for so long only made her understand one thing.

  That peace is but a fairy tale created by those who haven't known war.

  Mikael was right and that angered her. But she didn't want to be proven wrong. She wanted acknowledgement, that fear isn't cowardice. That fear is a natural response. That a person can fear death. But she didn't get any.

  All she got was an angry Mikael.

  .:. Fuck you, Mikael. .:.

  Nanasu then lunged herself at Mikael, tackling him onto the ground and pinning him there.

  She was about to punch him in the face before Claude held her back.

  "That's enough! Both of you!"

  But as Claude held her back, Mikael punched Nanasu off her.

  "You fucking bitch! I've saved you from death countless times! All you ever do is complain! Complain about your past, complain about the present, complain about the future!" Now Mikael was on top of Nanasu, trying to punch her face while she blocked them with her injured arms.

  Both were injured, and they were overexerting themselves to try and prove a pointless point. They were clawing at each other like wolves. There was no technique, no skill, no finesse. Just raw, unfiltered rage and pain.

  Claude then decided to not intervene. Instead, he just watched, letting them fight. But he had a worried expression on his face. Nanasu and Mikael did fight before, but it was always in a jokingly manner.

  This was an actual fight.

  And their anger could set off a surge of Soul-Energy that could blow everyone out the shuttle.

  Mikael was tugging on her hair while Nanasu had him in a headlock. Both were swearing at each other, their voices muffled by the struggle.

  Nanasu was too weak to keep him in a headlock for too long. Mikael broke free and tackled her to the ground once again.

  Mikael got up, and so did Nanasu.

  "You don't talk shit about me or my dead squadmates ever again! If their deaths don't matter, why should your death matter!?"

  That cut deep.

  "Goddamn you!" Mikael walked forward, ducking under Nanasu's swing and punching her face. That disoriented her, surrendering her to the ground. Such a strong punch and it wasn't toward an enemy.

  It was to a friend.

  "You...'re the worst, Mikael..." She said, in between punches. Her nose was bleeding. Her lip was cut.

  "Me? I'm not the one who's running away from her problems!"

  Nanasu was on the verge of tears again. She was being beat up by her friend, her squadmate. Nanasu twisted his arm, before roundhouse kicking his face.

  The kick sent Mikael into the wall, leaving a crack in the metal.

  Claude then stepped in between them, holding Nanasu's shoulders and telling her with a stern look to not get up. Mikael would however but stood where he was as he saw Claude in between them.

  "Boss!"

  "Stand. Down."

  Claude's tone left no room for argument. An order, the complete opposite of a request. The playful idiot was gone, replaced by the Captain of the Star Gazer Squad. The weight of his rank seemed to press down on the shuttle's atmosphere.

  Mikael, breathing heavily with blood running from the corner of his mouth, hesitated. He looked at Nanasu, who was now sitting on the floor, her head bowed with a singular sound of silent sobs.

  Mikael's realization weighted more than his anger at this one moment, which also ultimately helped him heed to what Claude said. Even if he didn't, Claude would've taken matters into his own hands.

  This was now a squad that was once a token of friendship, now broken.

  A squad that once had an undefeated record now had a failure under their belt.

  Now a squad that was once a family, now torn apart.

  Claude sat back down. Mikael returned to his own place while Nanasu was slumped right beside Kleine again.

  The silence returned. This was worse than before. Before, it was just the silence of failure. Now, it was the silence of a fractured bond.

  Oh, how long it'll take for them to get to Blackstone. Maybe they could've sorted it out, if Mikael didn't decide to take things a step further and bring up her squadmates.

  "... If that is what you want, then none of us will say anything more about it." Claude spoke for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

  "Boss... How are you okay with this?"

  At the very least the person whom she thought was a half-brainer was the one with a level-headed response. Mikael looked at Nanasu, who was still sniffling. He wanted to say something, anything, to fix it. But the words wouldn't come. What could he say? Sorry I called you a coward? Sorry I brought up your dead friends? The apologies felt cheap.

  .:. Sorry... .:.

  All Mikael could do is apologise to himself for being a fuck-up.

  He thought he was the one who was always rational but he snapped. He snapped at the worst possible person.

  .:. I lost people too... I didn't mean to disregard my own squad's death... .:.