Waking up alone was something I had grown used out of, but it was something I had looking forward for the unforeseeable future. The fact that the first thing I saw was the plushie Violet gave me only made me feel even lonelier. I thought I didn’t have to ever feel this sad, but it was a necessary evil if wanted a peaceful home life. If we can even call it that.

  It did motivate me getting out of bed so I’d see her faster, but I’d much rather have difficulties getting out of it because Violet adorably clung to me, not wanting her dear girlfriend to leave her.

  “Yeah, I really should hurry up.”

  The faster and sooner I got out of the house, the sooner I could get to her place. I could even maybe cosy up with her for a bit. It’d negate the point of me taking a shower before leaving with how stuffy it was at her place, but maybe there’d be time for us to share a shower together.

  “Get out!” my sister shouted when I opened the bathroom door.

  “Sorry!” I shouted back, her voice being a bit too close to our mum’s for my heart’s comfort.

  “Oh, it was you Abby,” I heard her sigh from the other side while I supported my weight against the door as my legs got shaky after having been shouted at. “Sorry, I thought it was dad. I’ll be out in a sec.”

  My dad was always the first person getting up in the house, so I understood her reaction and would have done something similar to her. Were it not to how much I was missing Violet, I’d probably had been the third getting up today, but as things are, and despite how long it took me to fall asleep, I was up and about. I still would have preferred not getting shouted at first thing in the morning though.

  “Take your time,” I told her, my legs starting to gain some consistency as I did breathing exercises. “I’m not in a rush.”

  I was, but I didn’t want her to see what became of me from hearing her raised voice.

  “…Everything ok?” she asked after opening the door. “You’re looking kinda pale.”

  I told her I was having my period as an excuse for looking a bit anaemic, and she nodded with a concerned look before telling me to take care and leave me to my business.

  As she walked towards her room with only a wrapped towel covering her, I used the chance to confirm last night’s suspicion: my sister had lost weight.

  I could clearly see her arms and legs looking too slender compared to before. It made me worry, but I still felt uncapable of calling her out. Believe it or not, since she arrived last night, this had been the most we talked, and it wasn’t what I’d call a conversation at all. Just holding the gaze on each other was hard enough.

  “…I really want to see her,” I mumbled to the shower head.

  Any time I felt the slightest bit of loneliness or sadness, if Violet wasn’t around, she’d come to mind and stay. I doubted she could give me any advice, but at least she could hold me and make me feel safe and understood when I voiced out my concerns.

  Right now, she was either sleeping or maybe shifting in bed, the fan not being able to keep her cool enough to sleep. Was she perhaps dreaming of sleeping together with me? I hoped she was sleeping even if not dreaming of us, but if it was the latter, she certainly was seeing my face in her mind.

  Only a bit more, and I’d make it turn reality.

  ???

  I couldn’t believe I was thinking this, but sleeping alone with this heat sucked. I’d much rather have my skin sticking to Abby’s as we yapped and kissed than feeling this miserable on top of missing her. The damned fan was working its hardest at the beginning of the nigh and it barely had any effect. A little past midnight, and it made an awful grinding sound and smell of burned plastic before completely stopping dead, condemning me to a stifling night. Were it not how the one in the living room sounded like it was tearing itself apart above the medium speed, I’d have gone pick it up and point it at my body to help me cool off, but the noise it made was far too much for what it could blow.

  “…I wonder what Abby’s doing?”

  She was an early bird, but even this was too early for her, so she was likely still sleeping. Since I wasn’t there, would she still be doing those cute sounds she does when I hold her? I missed them so much. I was realising how important they were in me falling asleep now. They instilled a sense of peace I needed for my mind not to fuss over stupid things and shut down completely.

  If only her sister didn’t go living with them…

  It was such a selfish thought. She had apologised to Abby for what she said and did, but I still couldn’t forget about it. I wasn’t that type of girl. I wasn’t kind like Abby.

  “I wonder… how did it go last night?”

  I’d have to ask Abby sometime later, but… haah, would we even have time for that?

  Thinking about what we’d do once we were done with classes, I was finally able to at least snooze. It felt like an eternity when I felt the bed shift and I felt a familiar pleasant scent intensify, but I had that occur many times throughout the night, so I wasn’t convinced it was true.

  But then, the smiling creature who had her chin rest on the back of her hands as she crouched by the bed and stared at me spoke, and I felt her breath hit my sweaty face.

  “Hi there!” she greeted with a low, honeyed voice. “May I join you?”

  It wasn’t a dream, my girlfriend really was there, admiring my messy sleeping face. Even after having been a victim of that so many times, I still felt a bit embarrassed, and even more so due to being completely naked and spread like a starfish, but my desire for having her in my arms was overpowering that. I nodded and got on my side, creating space in bed for her as I tugged her arms.

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  “Pfft, hehe! I need to undress first so it doesn’t get wrinkles,” she told me as she playfully slapped my greedy hands away.

  I was pouting at first, discontent for having to wait a bit more, but that went away the moment she removed her tie and started unbuttoning her shirt as she stood sideways, unaware that I had my eyes fixated on her.

  “Pervert,” she said after noticing me, that only happening at the end when she turned back to me.

  “You’re my girlfriend, so it’s fine,” I grumbled as I now successfully pulled her in. “You look cute in the uniform, by the way.”

  “Hehe! Thanks,” she giggled, making me hug her more tightly in our spooning. “How about out of it?”

  The third thing she said to me, and it was another huge tease. That’s a thing I love about her, but she could also be a bit more merciful. Like me, asking her how she slept after telling her she looked very cute right now that we matched outfits.

  Her answer was a no, and was received with, mixed feelings.

  The good part was, what little she did sleep, Abby slept well.

  Now to the bad… the worst part wasn’t that she didn’t sleep that much, it was that a small part of me felt happy she didn’t because she had missed me that much. I hated that little corner in my mind grinding ear to ear for having Abby telling me that.

  “By the way, did the fan break or something?”

  “And quite spectacularly so,” I groaned.

  “I’m already guessing, but how was your night?”

  “…It’d at least have been tolerable if I could have hugged you like this…”

  “Oh? Is that so?” she said, sounding legitimately surprised to hear me say that.

  “Yeah… the bed felt so big an empty without you here too…”

  “Hehe! Sleepy Violet is the most honest Violet,” she giggled as she turned around, being completely wrong about my sleepiness and now facing me with a smile so bright, the sun itself paled in comparison.

  I rubbed my nose on her hair, it tickling me and filling my heart with even more romantic words it wished to sing to her, but Abby was in a playful mood, so she dictated the melody.

  She joked about getting me a body pillow or a doll her size as a replacement, but I refused it by telling her it would never be close to a thing comparable. I wish I wasn’t as awake as I was right now, because I’d tell her my reasoning for that and she’d be having one of her giggly fits after hearing me voice it out.

  It’s strange to say it like this about a person, but Abby was very comfortable to hold. She was impossibly soft, but there was also a firmness, both being impossible to mimic. The smell? Ditto. Maybe she could hug the pillow or doll, or we could dress it in her clothes, maybe even use her body wash products on it, but it still could never reach the same level, or be even remotely close to it.

  I did however tell her about the adorable happy noises she makes after I hug her tightly just in the right way.

  “Noises?” she asked, frowning in confusion. “What sort of noises?”

  I was going to ask Abby about how things went with her sister last night, but it’d have to wait a bit longer.

  Telling her again they were adorable wouldn’t cut it, so I gave her another nice squeeze, already knowing how much pressure I had to apply for her to let out a squeaky moan. As soon as Abby made it, she realised what I meant.

  “Do I always make that sound!?” she asked, sounding and looking a bit embarrassed.

  “Only when I’m doing something that makes you really happy.”

  “Hmm… that explains how you get so good at it so fast,” she told me before licking the tip of my nose. “Mmh! Salty and sweet.”

  Sometimes, it was a squeaky, moany sigh, but that was more often when we were relaxing in bed after… well, after. It was also similar to the sound she makes when peacefully sleeping in my hold.

  “Yeah, all thanks to your cute sounds.”

  “Hehe! Am I cute?”

  “The cutest!”

  “Pfft, hehe! Babe, we can’t!” she laughed as I started getting frisky, all about this interaction having gotten me in the mood. “We have to get you ready for school!”

  “Haah… I forgot about it,” I groaned, burying my face between her head and chest.

  “Pfft, hehe! There, there,” she laughed, tapping my back and head as a consolation.

  I asked if she wouldn’t join me in a shower, but she had already taken one before coming, so that idea was out, regrettably enough. She did offer coming to help me dry my hair since it had gotten so long. It was something we enjoyed doing for each other, so I promptly agreed to it. The fact it’d also help me get ready faster and not having to rush so much also didn’t hurt.

  But speaking of hair…

  “Could you lay on your back?”

  “Babe, I told you, we don’t—”

  “No, no, not for that! I want to try something.”

  She didn’t look fully convinced, but she complied with my request anyway. She got even more suspicious and raised an eyebrow when I partially got over her, but again I told her it wasn’t like that.

  It became clear to her what I was going for once I draped her under my hair, making it look like she was wearing a black dress that hanged just above her knees.

  “Do I look good in it?” she asked, striking a pose like she was in fact wearing something right now.

  And it’s not like Abby wouldn’t look good in a black dress, but… if it’s Abby, it has to be colourful. Any colour would do, but preferably, a warm one.

  “You should dye it then,” she told me, getting off the bed and offering a hand to hoist me out. “Now, what colour would it be? Red? Blond? Green? Violet, maybe?”

  I didn’t think about it, but instead on whether I should cut it or not. I had let it grow because I was a social recluse, and I liked wearing it long since it made me look even more like mum, but it had gotten too long. How long exactly? Let’s just say I almost broke my neck a few times trying to lean forward while being sat.

  “Do you think I should cut it?” I asked, interrupting her list of colour suggestions.

  “Well, if you ask me—”

  There was a knock on the door, and Abby took the shirt I wore yesterday before getting in bed to answer it, saying it was likely Oliver. Seeing Abby wearing it, it felt right, you know? I almost forgot she didn’t spend the night with me for a moment.

  “There you are, you murderous beast!” she told to the kitten who had walked in, tail in the air like an antenna and meowing a greeting or thanks for her opening the door.

  “Murderous beast? What?”

  “Yeah! Look!”

  Abby adjusted the way she was holding him to a sitting position against her chest, one hand supporting him while the other held him by the from. The latter hand’s thumb was being chewed on by him as he hugged it. A murderous beast indeed.

  “…”

  “…yes babe?”

  I approached her and combed her hair behind an ear before leaning down. Abby got on the tips of her toes to spare my back as I kissed her.

  Before leaving for my shower, I told Abby that I loved her, causing another one of her giggling fits and using Oliver as a face cover.

  …Our new routine might not be as bad as I thought it would...

  Still, meeting early in the morning, spending the whole day in classes and after that, each one of us going home… I didn’t think I could get used to it after how we spent our time last school year, but… I’d have to be brave and endure it until at least Abby and Sophie patched thing up.

  Hopefully, that’d come soon enough.

  “Right, you still haven’t told me your thoughts about whether or not I should cut my hair,” I reminded Abby once she got behind me to fiddle with it while I ate the breakfast she had prepared for me.

  “I could always braid it like this,” she hummed, gleefully doing my hair up in a long braid, thankfully shortening its overall length.

  It was a solution, but it hardly solved all the time I had it loose or when Abby couldn’t do it for me for one reason or another. In other words, despite saddening her, I’d have cut it. Shorten it, to be more accurate with my intention. I couldn’t really imagine myself with the same hair length as my girlfriend.

  “Hmm… it’d look cute though. Very mature. Fresh too,” she said, sitting by my side now that she was done, elbows on the table and clearly admiring me with her big, loving eyes as she propped her head up on her tiny hands, not uttering a word as she kept on smiling.

  “…”

  “…Hehe! Sorry, am I staring too much?” she asked, acting all fluffy towards me.

  I’m always thankful for Abby loving me this much but sometimes, it makes things a bit hard for me.