The first rays of light, sheepishly peeking from behind the distant mountains, protruded through the trees and branches before giving their warmly embracing a particular group of sleeping goblins. They only skipped over the one named Krakka, choosing to avoid making contact with that ugly face of his. That being said, not everyone was as content with letting him sleep.

  ‘'Hey, everyone, wake up!'’

  Krakka, abruptly woken up by Gromp the orc slayer, peeked through his eyelashes to see what was going on. After seeing that the others had yet to wake up and after a moment of hesitation, he chose to close his eyes and pretend to be sleeping. This was a rather bad move.

  Gromp rammed his right leg directly into the poor goblin's stomach, sending him wailing on the ground and consequently waking the others as well. The kick was so effective that it roused goblins from other squads as well.

  Gromp's face scrunched up as he scrambled to calm down his squadmate.

  '’Take it easy, I didn't mean to kick you that hard.'’ He regretfully expressed, patting the squirming goblin on his back.

  A few of the older goblins scattered around the group, forcefully woken up and yet to take their morning piss, began to unsheathe their weapons angrily. It seemed like they were ready to sacrifice a tribesman or two in exchange for a few more minutes of peaceful sleep.

  Gromp looked around, nervously smiled and muttered a few quick apologies before crouching down and leaning in towards Krakka who was crying loudly while clutching his stomach.

  ‘'Shut the fuck up before I kick you again, alright!?'’ He threatened through his clenched teeth.

  Krakka slowly raised his head up, devoid of any and all tears, and cracked a nervous smile after seeing all the hostility emanating from the nearby squads. He patted himself downwhile making sure that as many little rocks and leaves as possible flew towards Gromp.

  ‘'Whatever you say, boss.'’

  After further convincing and threatening from the self-assumed squad leader, the youngsters finally gave up on catching additional shut eye and agreed to follow him. The group made their way through the somewhat dense woodland, the trees’ intertwining canopies shielding them from the sun, and stopped before a small cliff. The trees below made it impossible to accurately gauge its height, but the drop couldn't have been more than six goblins deep.

  ‘'So… why did you bring us here?'’ One of the goblins challenged with menace permeating his voice. ‘’You woke me up in the middle of a dream about the chief’s daughter, you know?’’

  The orc slayer rolled his eyes at the unwanted comment, deciding to ignore the goblin completely.

  ‘'You see that?'’ He asked, pointing towards one of the many branches of the tree below them.

  A green piece of torn cloth hung from the branch, swaying in the wind.

  ‘'Throg fell down there last night, drunk as a skunk. He said he stole some wine from behind the elder's tent. That's a piece of those fancy pants of his.'’ He stiffly declared to the small crowd.

  Krakka made his way to the front with a cynical smile on his face, deciding to be the one to address the obvious elephant in the room.

  ‘'Did he survive?'’ He asked in a strange tone of voice.

  Gromp simply shrugged.

  ‘'I don't know. I followed him around to make sure he didn't create any trouble with our superiors, but I didn't expect him to fall down here. I called for him, but he didn't respond.'’

  'So he's dead, huh?' Piped up one of the gobs.

  Gromp could not think of anything to say, wisely choosing to stay silent and look ahead with a neutral expression.

  They shared a moment of silence. The moment didn't last long.

  ‘'About time, am I right?'’ Krakka blurted out, looking around him for affirmation.

  The goblins shared a cheerful laugh, some even going as far as to slap their knees as they snickered. Only the death of a mutually hated tribesman could bring together and bond a group of monsters to such a high degree.

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  ‘'However,'’ Gromp added, raising a finger into the air and mimicking the words he had rehearsed with Throg last night, ‘'some problems might arise from this situation.'’

  He started to get immersed into the role he was playing, acknowledging that acting might just be one of his very few talents given how he had apparently fooled everybody up until now.

  ‘'You see, if we do not report this to the elders, they will very likely notice that he is missing. Throg was quite the character, after all.'’ He joked, mostly to himself.

  He gradually started to enjoy himself and gave his words extra weight by using hand gestures and raising and lowering his voice’s intonation like the chief liked to do. He just barely held back from laughing after seeing his squadmates' serious expressions.

  '’They might think we have a deserter on our team, or that we killed him ourselves. We might get punished for no reason.'’ He asserted with a distressed tone.

  The others nodded, having no choice but to agree with his words.

  ‘'On the other hand, if we report this directly to the elders, they might give us trouble for reporting something so insignificant, or maybe think that we're covering for him!'’ He clarified further.

  ‘'So, what do you say we should do?'’ Asked Gido, the leftmost goblin holding proudly in his hands a short spear.

  All of the goblins looked at Gromp for the answer.

  ‘'I Think,' he said, slapping his chest with his palm, 'that we should report this only and exclusively to elder Turak.'’

  The goblins continued looking at Gromp, waiting for him to continue. He was stunned.

  What the fuck? I had a whole speech prepared for when they would question me and ask me to explain, but they all just went with it!

  …Am I really that amazing at acting?

  Elder Turak paced around with an uneven stride, as only his right foot had the privilege of being comfortably nested inside a warm leather boot. Hence, his right foot was in a higher position in comparison to the left one when coming in contact with the ground. Thus, again, his stride was uneven. On the other hand, in contrast to his way of walking, his thoughts were uniform – straight as an arrow.

  A group of kids barely old enough to fight, or more specifically the couple of younglings the chief personally picked to be sent to their deaths had come to him moments before, just as he was donning his stolen boots. These were the same kids he had been mocking the night before, although, slightly surprising even himself, he did not feel any guilt or remorse. Truthfully, the situation was quite funny to him.

  They had told him about the unfortunate death of Throg, a youngster who was part of their group and based on their jubilant expressions, not exactly the most popular goblin in this forest.

  To an outsider, it might seem Turak was pacing in search of ideas, solutions to the current predicament. That was not the case.

  Having finally unstuck his balls, the elder turned towards the group.

  ‘'Yeah, I don't give a fuck.’’ Turak yawned dismissively. ‘’Go get ready, we have a long march ahead of us.'’ He commanded with a yawn as he turned his second boot upside down, watching as small pebbles and pieces of dirt fell from it.

  He chuckled, before turning his focus back towards equipping all of the fighting gear he had lying on the ground before him, something only an elder would dare to do.

  Damn, these kids are good at their job. They're dropping off like flies, even without my intervention. Well, we still need them for tomorrow, but a single goblin shouldn't make a difference.

  The group of goblins stood there with blank faces, quite stunned by the elder's response. Some even pondered why the hell they hadn't killed that annoying Throg earlier if it had been this easy. Only Gromp had a slight smirk on his face, as he failed to completely suppress his emotions.

  In disbelief that the plan had actually worked, he thought back to Throg's words the night before.

  ‘'I'm planning to desert, Gromp. I refuse to die a meaningless death for some shit my old man did years ago. But I will need you to help me out.'’ Asserted Throg in a solemn voice.

  At that time, Gromp didn't say anything. He simply gestured for Throg to go on, growing more and more interested in his words.

  ‘'The problem is that old bat, Yaga,’’ Throg muttered, anxiously scratching his arm. ‘’I have no clue what kind of witchcraft that crazy woman uses, but I know for a fact that she can track anybody down. That's how they caught elder Kuzza.'’

  ‘’Fucking outsider piece of shit!’’ He quickly followed up, pursing his lips.

  Throg took a deep breath to compose himself before continuing.

  ‘'That's why I need you to convince the others that I passed away in an accident. That way they won't try to find me.'’ He elaborated, restlessly fiddling with his fingers.

  ‘'Sure, that makes sense.'’ Gromp finally spoke up. ‘'But what about me?'’

  Throg stood up from the tree trunk, brushing the dirt from his pants with quick, deliberate motions.

  ‘'You, my friend, will make use of a different strategy. These orcs, given they sent scouts into our tribe's territory, must be preparing for war. And unless their chief is a total dumbass, they must have increased patrols near their lair.'’ He claimed as his eyes darted around, contrasting his confident manner of speech.

  He sat back down just as fast as he had risen, playing around with some moss that grew on the trunk’s backside.

  ‘'Our chief, too, isn't dumb.'’ He spoke after a long pause, his eyes now resting on Gromp’s feet.

  ‘'He's a crazy, disgusting piece of shit alright, but when it comes to killing, pillaging and destroying the efforts of others, he's the man for the job.’’ He joked and smiled, though only with his mouth. ‘’That's why I'm sure he will construct a couple of small teams to take the enemy patrols out. From that point on, it's simple – you should volunteer to join one of these groups, and once you're deep in the woods, either wait for the other to slaughter each other or run away as fast as you can while the others aren’t looking. They will think you got dispatched by those orcs… hopefully.'’

  Throg had hit the nail right on the head. Once the impromptu army geared up and gathered, the chief addressed his underlings, announcing that those experienced in tracking and stealthily moving about in the woods will gather by the tribe's best scout, elder Zakk, and eliminate the adversary tribe's patrols.

  Surprise surprise, there was a shortage of troops. As always, where there were no rewards to be taken, there were no goblins. Altogether, less than ten of them gathered around Zakk. They all knew each other, being veterans who scouted and did all their scouting stuff that scouts do in many battles before. Their ‘’occupation’’ was also reflected in their personalities, as very non stereotypically, the old friends simply shared a handshake while saying very few words.

  Despite these goblins' alleged excellence and their abundance of experience, there simply were not enough of them to cover all of the orc tribe’s surroundings.

  ‘'Any volunteers?'’ The chief said with a tired voice, once again having to rely on the more bloodthirsty idiots in his tribe, those who were always itching for a fight no matter the circumstances.

  As expected, some highly questionable characters raised their hands as the chief silently prayed for them to not create unwanted trouble. He swiftly gave a meaningful look to Zakk, who instantly understood his chieftain’s intention, preparing himself to be blamed for any little mistake they will commit.

  Gromp, as well, proudly raised his hand, fitting in seamlessly with the other battle-crazy volunteers.

  Damn, this plan is perfect. It's all going so smoothly.

  Just as he thought that, another hand shot up, its owner surprisingly standing quite close to Gromp. The lanky goblin immediately recognised the bracelets hanging from the arm's wrist. He turned, and Krakka's cold smile greeted him.

  As it turns out, no plan is perfect.