I wake up gasping for air from a nightmare that seemed all too real. My body is cold with sweat and my heart beats franticly inside my chest. I tear myself from bed and stumbled towards the bathroom panting, leaving damp foot prints behind me. I nearly slip but catch myself on the sink. I turn on the tap and water bsts from the spout violently. I lessen the pressure fearful of waking someone up. I wet my face and use the sound of the running water to help slow my breathing and calm myself.

  I breathe deeply looking at my pale dripping face.

  “Happy Birthday Raven”. I sigh, relieved and stand up straight turning to go back to bed. I make my way from the bathroom back into the dormitory and y on my damp sweat soaked sheets. I wonder if I have woken anybody up, I look around and see no prying eyes or confused faces. ‘Good’, I think to myself, st thing I need is to be the breakfast topic of the day.

  The summer heat is quick to warm my body and dry me off. I take a deep breath and try to fall back to sleep but am caught off guard by the morning bell chime set to wake every one up. I sigh again, just another day in the Sunny Side Orphanage.

  I rise with the rest of the kids falling into the usual routine of a jarring cold shower, getting dressed unenthusiastically, eating some warm oat meal, brushing my teeth and of course making my bed. All these tasks are done on auto pilot, minimal effort, and muscle memory driving me forward. Some days I go through it without even being aware of it.

  I spend a little extra time in front of the mirror, my own personal ritual. I fix my hair; parting it just right so I can see through the curls with only one of my eyes, my good eye. My hair is my sanctuary, my barrier, the thing that separates me from the rest of the world.

  The second bell chimes an hour after the first, signalling for everyone to depart to school. I collect my backpack, prepared the night before and shuffle out of the dorms and into the world with the rest of the lost and forgotten.

  [---]

  Today was the final day of school and the final year for me. I had managed through with average grades and a negligible presence. I don`t hate school but I don`t really enjoy it either. For most it’s a gate way to a higher education, for me it was just another stage in a mediocre life. I wasn`t sure what was going to come next, a job probably, what kind I wasn`t sure.

  Teachers attempted to maintain order in their cssrooms, students becoming ungovernable as the hours ticked passed. I kept my head down as friends gossiped with one another, talked about pns for the future or just looked to pass the time.

  I had made it to the final css of the day without incident. When suddenly a powerful wave of nausea descended upon me. I try to compose myself, but I can already tell where this is going.

  Without a word I storm out of the room, the teacher yelling after me confused. I dash into the nearest bathroom delirious, the walls and floor moving on their own. I grab the corners of a sink and lose myself to the feeling of viotion that comes with throwing up one`s insides. Immediately I feel a wave of relief as an empty stomach seems to clear my head. I take a deep breath and proceed to wash out my mouth only to be greeted by the faint taste of blood.

  I look down into the sink horrified to see it pstered with blood, a few drops still lingering in my mouth. I stare in disbelief. I wipe my mouth clean and wash out the basin trying to ignore the reality in front of me. Rinsing out the sink I start to hear a rattling sound, I look closer picking out a few white objects amongst the bloody water and half-digested food.

  I reach down and pick up one of the small objects. I wipe it clean on my bck skirt trying to make out what it was. It`s a tooth. I drop it horrified, letting it fall back into the sink bouncing around against the porcein until it rests with the others. I count quickly, one, two, three, four. Four teeth, are they mine? I reach inside my mouth to feel if these teeth had indeed come from my mouth. But they hadn`t, all my teeth are accounted for, not a single gap. It makes no sense; everything feels so unreal, like I’m still in that nightmare, but I know without a doubt that I am awake.

  [---]

  The final bell of the day chimed and I immediately made my way towards the school’s exit. I am in no mood to hang around in a pce, I quite honestly, could be going mad in. I keep to myself, dodging teachers and students in the cramped halls. Despite my hair in my face I am very good at navigating rge crowds.

  I exit the building into the courtyard, my bag held close to my chest. The school gate is insight when suddenly I see Alice blocking my path.

  “Hey No Name, what’s the rush?”, Alice sneers at me.

  I look at her through the gap in my curls, wishing she hadn’t seen me in such a hurry. It made me a target, a stupid mistake.

  “I`m not in a rush”, I mumble back. Hiding behind my hair, hoping the less I say the more disinterested she will be.

  “You seem to be in a rush to me”, she says with a friendly tone. Her words are like venom in my ear and I know she has some ulterior motive in the works.

  “I just want to get home”, I reply softly, knowing she will have something to say about it.

  “But you don`t have a home No Name”, she says, with a big smile across her face. “Remember? Your family abandoned you on a door step”.

  “The orphanage is my home”, I snap back. That was a mistake, to be so bold, especially with Alice. What more I did it for a lie, I never thought of the orphanage as my home.

  “No Name, so chatty today. I almost feel like we`re having an actual conversation for once. Tell me…”, she moves forward, putting her arm around my shoulder holding me uncomfortably close. “You know, I always felt a kind of kinship between us. A sort of sisterhood. Can you imagine it, us as sisters?”

  I hesitate to answer, I know whatever I say would be falling into a well-set trap, “I guess”.

  “Perfect”, she let go of me and from behind two of her friends emerge, nameless faces that live to work for her attention. They grab a hold of me one on each arm, my bag falls to the ground. I look side to side concerned now that she intends to do something more than simply insult me.

  “You know No Name, I’ve always liked your hair”, a pair of scissors appear in her hand. The writing is on the wall now, I know what she intends. I look around desperately hoping for a teacher or a passer-by to call upon. Unlikely, they are still in the school building, saying their goodbyes to one another.

  “What’s the matter? We`re sisters aren’t we? Sisters cut each other’s hair all the time”, her words are disguised, all warm and welcoming hiding their cold intent. Anything but this, my hair is the wall that keeps me safe. Most kids grow up with teddy bears I grew up with my hair.

  She takes a step towards me with every intention to take it away from me. No she wouldn`t, she can’t do this not to me, I have so little already.

  “It`s not fair”, I whimper.

  “Not fair?”, Alice leans close to my face, she moves my hair back and speaks in to my ear, “Life isn’t fair, get used to it”.

  Her words echo inside my head, I watch her, bringing her scissors close now, ready to cut and strip me of my only possession. Ready to take away the only thing that brings me comfort in this lonely world that is so quick to disregard me.

  “No more”.

  Everything goes bck. It`s just for a moment. One second I am in the clutches of the ruthless Alice and the next I am on top of her, my teeth sunk deep into her soft supple neck. I`m biting down hard, coldly tasting her blood, enjoying the sweet taste of her life force.

  In that moment time freezes, as I y dominant on top of Alice, feasting on her, my will eclipsing hers. My actions scream as an act of protest towards her years of torment and something more.

  Time unfreezes and Alice screams, kicking me off of her. Her ckeys run to her side checking to see if she is okay. They look at her neck, shock and terror cast across their faces as they have never witnessed such a thing.

  My senses come back to me as I am sat on the ground leaning back in disbelief, the taste of her blood still fresh on my lips. Terrified and confused I grab my bag, leap to my feet and run.