The night is warm, to be expected from the summer season. The sky is a void dotted with stars and illuminated by a full moon, it is comforting. I sit alone on the swing, rocking back and forth with my thoughts in a maelstrom of anxiety and fear.

  I attacked someone, nearly killed them. Had Alice not been there I surely would have drank that man dry. What is happening to me? Nothing makes sense anymore, I feel like the whole world has turned itself inside out.

  My thoughts grow louder, I start to swing harder wanting to distract myself.

  What has become of me? Hearing heart beats, smelling blood, it is all madness.

  I throw my momentum back and forth gaining speed upon the swing.

  Biting people, drinking their blood. None of this is me.

  I fly up high and back down just as low going back up again reaching the farthest heights I can.

  Bloody nightmares, spitting up teeth, a voice that isn`t mine.

  Every thought pushes me further and further until I just let go.

  I blink and find myself looking up at the sky, the moon and its beauty transfixing my gaze. It makes me feel a slight sense of ease that soon fades as I sit up and look at my grazed and bleeding arms and legs followed by the still moving swing.

  I look at my wounds and want to cry, not because of the pain but the ck there of.

  “Raven!” , a voice yells behind me franticly.

  I turn my head to see Alice running towards me, a look of worry etched in her face. She kneels down beside me and examines my wounds, “Are you okay? You`re bleeding! What happened?”

  Her words come too quick for me to catch them, I simply look at her in a daze, nothing feels real anymore. My world has changed so much in such a short time and it is suffocating me. The only thing that makes the slightest bit of sense is tearing up in front of me.

  “Can you hear me? Raven?”, I hear her words fade in, regaining awareness.

  “I’m fine”, I mutter back, standing myself up.

  Alice is quick to help me up urging caution as we don`t know how badly I am hurt but I don`t care. Sanity has fled this world and it is taking me along with it. I look back up at the moon hoping to feel something but there is nothing but dark clouds rolling over and consuming the night sky.

  “Raven, I`m worried about you”, Alice mutters pulling out a tissue from her pocket pressing it against one of my wounds. I can already feel them closing up, healing in real time.

  She takes me by the hand and takes me to a nearby bench sitting me down, I follow her lead, too out of it to think for myself. She continues to wipe away any blood that drips from my closing wounds.

  Alice notices them and moves away from me, dropping the bloody tissue on the ground a breeze carrying it away.

  “Are you scared of me?”, I half-heartedly speak.

  Alice tightens her lips, her body posture closing up afraid to answer.

  “It`s not that I’m afraid of you”, she whispers back, “I’m afraid for you”.

  Her words catch me off guard, she can`t be serious. Why would she be afraid for me as opposed to being afraid of me? I could think of numerous reasons to be afraid of whatever I am becoming.

  I feel her hand settle upon mine warmly. I look up at her, tears swelling in my eyes as I begin to feel the world again.

  “Please don’t cry”, Alice wipes away one, two of my tears, “You`ll get your hair wet”.

  I chuckle at her reasoning noticing my hair is all over the pce, I try to sniff up my tears and compose myself, parting my hair from my face.

  “I never thought you of all people would be able to make me ugh, especially under such circumstances”, my composure is slowly coming back to me.

  “I want to die”, Alice says, sending shock through my body, “When I think of how I used to treat you”.

  My nerves settle back down hearing her finish her sentence.

  “It`s funny, you made my life hell in school. But for some reason I don’t feel any anger towards you. Don`t get me wrong I hate everything you did to me, but I don’t hate you”, I reply anxiously, having to remind myself of all the times Alice had mistreated me.

  “I don`t really understand it myself, but it felt good. To hurt you. It sounds crazy, practically evil I know. But being able to bring someone down made me feel so powerful, so alive”, I can hear by her tone she was struggling to be honest with me.

  “I understand”, I reply.

  “You do?”, Alice looks at me surprised.

  “On the st day of school when I bit you, at the orphanage when I drank your blood and at the mall when I attacked that man. In those moments I had never felt so powerful. I used to go through each day just waiting for it to end. Occasionally little excitements would come along but ultimately growing up the way I did, I felt defeated by life. Until that st day of school”, I take a deep breath.

  “It scares me to admit, that those moments are probably the most alive I have ever felt”, tears begin to well in my eyes once more, “It scares me to think of the monster I am becoming and it terrifies me to think how much I like it”.

  Alice grips my hand tightly and stands up pulling me with her unexpectedly. I jolt forward tripping over my feet having her catch me. I support myself and look at her, a smile creeping across her face.

  “I don`t think you`re a monster”, she says to me gently, “I don`t know what is happening to you but I know you are doing your best to handle it”.

  “I nearly killed someone Alice. If you weren`t there-“, she stops me.

  “But you didn`t kill them, did you? I know it was scary and I know you`re afraid. I`m scared too but when I`m with you.”, Alice stops.

  I look into her eyes and can see the fear they hold. The fear of what`s happening between us, the fear that she will never be able to go back to the way things were. But then I also see hope.

  I grip her hands tightly, “I think, If I`m with you, things will be okay. If I`m with you, we can figure this out.”

  “I think so too.”, she confesses, pulling me closer to her.

  I feel her body against mine. It`s soft and warm, comforting and supportive. I want to kiss her but am afraid to. I decide to muster up some courage.

  “Earlier, you kissed me.”, I whisper shyly.

  “I… Oh yeah, when you bit your tongue.”, the realisation dawns on Alice and her cheeks go flush with embarrassment. “I`m so sorry. I should have asked or waited. I shouldn`t have-“

  “I liked it.”, I admit to her. “It was nice, to feel wanted.”

  “I do want you.”, Alice tells me. “For more than just your blood.”

  “Alice”, I mutter softly, leaning in to kiss her.

  I feel myself swell with emotion as our lips touch. It takes all my strength to keep me from colpsing. All my will to embrace the moment and let myself be vulnerable.

  When our lips eventually part we look into each other’s eyes, hopeful…

  Our bodies separate but we hold each other’s hands as we begin to walk together into this strange new world.

  [END]