I didn't understood at the time, that demons found me. I say demons, because that kind of guidance they gave to me is not expected from human beings. For all my fails, I never played with human life and health. And no matter what situation is, it is disgusting anyway.

  Preconditioned man with half broken mind I was, and now they broke me completely.

  Even, and I say even, because it is only little hope that this is "guidance" and not darkweb baron torture, I lost so many:

  I loved to walk at night, and now I probably never will be again, because it is even more hard than not to kill myself.

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  I liked jokes, and now all is available to me is some cruel mess.

  Demons wanted a criminal or just a bad guy, they got themselves one, I don't really care. But I still got no actual answer, because If I mistaken, proper humans should never done this in such form. And if was right then no matter, even if I won there probably could be some accident later.

  I burning money at 20x of my usual rate. For like nothing useful, because aircrash is nice alternative ending now.

  My mind is so broken, that all connecting is in shambles. I needed time after some initial contact in September, to restore myself. But instead got error after error from my continuing.

  I am crazy and even alredy have some bits of me missing.

  Hope I find power to do what should be done.