“Ow,” I blinked against the bright white light as I moved my aching body. My bones popped as I tried to lift an arm, a strange resistance preventing it from moving fast. It was as though my skin had solidified and I had to break the shell around me. It reminded me of how I’d felt just before I died. Painful and hard to move.

  Wasn’t my new life supposed to include freedom from the everyday pain of the past?

  It was like I’d been stuck here, wherever here was, for five months. I felt my body with my freed arm as I broke the other one out, sighing in relief as I found my jewels to be intact and in place.

  All present and accounted for, at least.

  “He’s alive, Captain!” a voice called out from above me, footsteps crunching around me as I groaned.

  “Get that light out of his face, you damn fool!” a woman shouted. I stopped squinting as the white beam filling my vision vanished. A face appeared to fill my sight.

  A gorgeous redheaded chick with piercing blue eyes and a gold-trimmed beret peered down at me, concern in her gaze. She scanned my body as my other senses began fading in. “Civilian,” she asked, a gloved hand grasping my chin while the other cradled my head. “Are you injured?”

  “They said the afterlife was full right now, so you must’ve fallen,” I murmured as I gazed at the angel before me as she squinted in confusion. I grinned. “But you can climb my stairway to heaven any day.”

  Realization dawned in the captain’s eyes, and her face turned a bright shade of crimson. “Dick!” she hissed, before looking over her shoulder.

  I barely managed to mutter, “If you insist,” before passing out again.

  The next time I opened my eyes, my body was strapped to a metal stretcher, and I was being rolled over bumpy ground, burning buildings filling my view since my head was locked in a brace.

  At least the medical care here seems to be alright...

  I would’ve questioned why I’d woken up in a ruined city, my body apparently injured somehow, with a woman dressed in a military uniform escorting me… somewhere. But the thing is, I read the book. I knew all about this world. At least, I knew enough to pass as a civilian. A lot of the Scourge book had kept things mysterious, I assumed, to keep the new life interesting.

  Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

  Number one on special bonuses the gods gave me: the privilege of keeping my memories.

  “Civilian,” a hulking man with dark skin addressed me. His grey armor was fringed with silver fur, as though it were more decorative than anything else, and a black cape hung from his waist to his knees. His eyes, also a piercing blue, scanned my face intently. One thick hand, adorned with a heavy gauntlet, held the stock of a massive glowing rifle, resting it on his shoulder. The other hand threw up a peace sign over my face. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

  I managed a weak smile. “Can’t you count them yourself?”

  A detached expression greeted my joke, and I sighed, “Tough crowd. Two fingers.”

  “Captain,” the man called ahead to the redhead. “He’s certainly lucid now.”

  “Thank you, Dick,” she said, coming to walk alongside the stretcher. I was exhausted, for some reason, and chuckled weakly as Dick walked away, leaving me with the angel that had “saved” me.

  Now, I had a better look at the captain. She was dressed in a futuristic light grey uniform, which buttoned on the right side of her chest, framed by a looser black covering that wrapped around her, hanging down to her thighs, pinned near her shoulder with a jagged golden emblem. Small steel pauldrons adorned her shoulders, buckled on by leather straps that entered slits in the loose black cloth, and she wore matching steel knee guards on her legs. A slender blaster pistol in a plain silver holster hung from the belt at her waist. The entire ensemble was trimmed in gold, and nicely accentuated her tight bod, but it was the stern expression on her face that gave off an aura of authority.

  I readjusted myself on the stretcher.

  “What is your name, civilian?” she asked, staring deeply into my eyes with her big, beautiful blue orbs. That quickly changed when I smiled, her face going red again, looking away under the guise of surveying our surroundings.

  “Kane,” I introduced myself. “Aaron Kane. But you can call me SchlongLord.”

  The captain frowned, the embarrassment disappearing from her face as she turned to me with concern.

  “A lord? I’m sorry to say, but you’re the sole survivor of this attack, so far. We haven’t uncovered anyone else.” Her eyes fell, and her voice trembled. “I’m sorry for what happened to your people.”

  Apparently, the woman in front of me thought I was some sort of leader. I struggled against the brace, craning my head to see as much of the surrounding area as I could. Despite having only woken up here minutes ago, and even knowing death wasn’t permanent, I couldn’t help but feel a bit saddened by the destruction around me.

  “They’re in a better place,” I replied. And if they weren’t, then they were living a new life of their choosing. The captain looked back at me, tears budding in her eyes but never falling.

  “I hope so, too.” She blinked, the emotions once displayed on her face replaced by her mask of authority once again. She brought a fist to her chest, nodding. “Captain Lia Wood-Valor. And you’ve met my subordinate, Lieutenant Dick Nickson.”

  Really?

  “The pleasure is mine, captain,” I responded, attempting to be cordial and not joke around, for a change. The mood didn’t call for it, anymore. “Thank you for finding me.”

  Lia nodded and brought a fist to her chest once again. “We’ll get you to the capital safely, my lord.”

  Ah… That’s gonna backfire, isn’t it?