Chapter 14 - Quiet Defiance

  That hope to talk to Reece loomed, the promise of the arena. Everyone around me was talking about it, about the new kids they’d brought in to train up that they had great promise to help out there.

  Then it was almost a week since that first visit in the shower, and my day started off with me being even more annoyed.

  It had started in my dreams, where I’d doubled over, running from the monster in the dark. Now the pain plagued my reality.

  Fuck!

  Even more expletives flew from my lips, the sharp pain in my stomach twisting my insides into knots.

  Was it something I ate yesterday?

  I’d had food poisoning before, we ate some fish two days after I’d caught it, thinking it would still be okay. Both of us had never felt so ill in years.

  This didn’t quite feel the same, but my stomach was killing me.

  The pain radiated in waves, different from the sharp, stabbing sensation of poisoning or the hollow ache of hunger. This was deeper, more rhythmic, like something inside me was twisting and releasing, over and over. I pressed my palm against my abdomen, trying to ease the discomfort through pressure and warmth. Nothing helped.

  The sun rose and set with a tedious sameness, its light melting into twilight before I could distinguish one day from the next.

  I couldn’t help but think back to the second helping of meat they had given me at lunch, Leigh devoured her second helping. So, it can’t have been that, can it? She’d be sick too.

  A low groan escaped my throat as I folded inwards, trying to compact the pain. It only seemed to intensify. I stretched and rubbed my stomach, finding some temporary relief. Eventually, I mustered the energy to drag myself to the furnace, to work.

  Sal didn’t show and I waited on help. But managed to keep the furnace ticking over, it was only if there was an outside threat that I’d seriously need help.

  Shoveling coal was a never-ending task in this place, but after weeks of doing it, I no longer gasped for breath every few shovels. My body had grown somewhat accustomed to the punishment, and though still skinny, my muscles started showing, causing me to need new clothes. But even with the grueling work, I no longer fell asleep at dinner like I used to.

  I paused, watching the gauges. It was so much easier for me to keep up, even on my own.

  This was a strange kind of progress, becoming accustomed to a form of labor that would have been unimaginable in the world before. My body was adapting, transforming itself to meet the demands of this new life. The same way it had adapted to weeks of near-starvation on the road, to constant walking, to sleeping outdoors. The human body’s resilience never ceased to amaze me.

  I grabbed my water, which was a constant source of refreshment in the heat. Leigh had been right about it being a lifeline in this hellhole. Every morning, we filled it up in the canteen, no matter how long it took or how much we had to hide it from those around us. They knew, they knew, and the green-eyed monster was in every single one of them.

  The heat hit me like a wall as I entered the furnace today. It felt hotter than usual, and as I took over for the person before me, my stomach-ache returned with a vengeance.

  SYSTEM RECOGNISING

  Cerys Bellova

  Female - 20

  Puberty - Attained

  Hidden Skill - ????

  The message blazed across my vision, momentarily replacing the furnace room. After years of waiting, years of watching others manifest abilities while I remained locked out of the system, it was finally happening. Puberty attained. I was being recognized. But what did “Hidden Skill” mean? Why couldn’t it identify my abilities? Was something wrong with me?

  Puberty attained. Hidden skill?

  The furnace took a hit, sucking in a huge chunk of energy. Somewhere the electric fence was being tested.

  I forgot my notification shoveling in coal faster than I thought possible. I didn’t feel anything, bar this horrific stomachache, my mind and body numb.

  I forced myself to put my back into shoveling, trying to distract myself from the discomfort that threatened to overwhelm me. Shovel after shovel, I worked tirelessly to keep the flames burning hot and fierce. Sweat poured ofd me.

  Leigh came rushing in. “Sal called sic?” she asked. I turned to face her about to answer when she cried. “Oh, dear gods!”

  “What,” I said. “What have I done?”

  Leigh came in closer, her frown sympathetic, “You’ve been putting weight on recently, yes?”

  I nodded, keeping my keen eyes on the furnace gauge—it was safe for now, the draw gone. “Do I look bad, fat?” I asked, feeling suddenly so self-conscious.

  Her face softened. “No, no, not at all. But let’s get you cleaned up.”

  I couldn’t help but look at her sideways. “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve started your first period. You’re bleeding.”

  I looked down to see my trousers were not soaked through with sweat like usual, but blood.

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  I never thought, holy crap. I was a mess.

  So this was it, the physical change that had kept me locked out of the system for so long. After all the waiting, all the wondering, it had finally arrived, messy and painful and utterly mundane. I’d halfway expected something dramatic, a surge of power, a moment of transformation. Instead, I got blood-soaked pants and stomach cramps.

  Leigh was nice, though, when someone came in to relieve us. She wrapped me in an old blanket.

  “I didn’t know,” I said, my hands trembling. “Is that why I have stomachache?”

  Leigh moved with me to the shower block. “I’ll cover your shift for today. Get your shower now, I tagged your chip for extra time. Get changed, and I’ll go get you some sanitary underwear.”

  “Thanks,” I said, my face heating. “I’m sorry. I really—”

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” she said. “You’re a woman now, that is something to celebrate.”

  “I—” I watched her leave and moved to the shower, stripping off my clothes, feeling just as yucky as I did the night before. My stomach hurt, too. This sucked. Where were the system notifications? Where was the hint that I had ‘the gift’ or access to the arts? Nothing.

  I washed off, and when Leigh came back, she left me an extra towel and underwear that was much thicker than mine was. I slipped into them, feeling rough.

  Leigh waited outside for me. “Better?”

  I nodded, “Thanks.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I shrugged. “I thought there’d be some warning.”

  “Not much, I’m afraid,” Leigh said. “Come on, let’s get you some more food. You’re probably hungry, too.”

  “I could eat,” I said.

  The rest of the morning was uncomfortable, and though I’d gotten out of work, I could only walk around trying to get my stomachache to shift. Painkillers and drugs were for serious things, not something like this, this I had to get used to, I didn’t want to get used to it.

  Mom had tried to prepare me for this, years ago. But theoretical knowledge was a poor substitute for experience. I wondered if she’d felt this way too - this strange mixture of discomfort, annoyance, and an odd sense of accomplishment. I had crossed some invisible threshold. The system recognized me now. Whatever abilities I possessed would finally be accessible. If I actually had any.

  I knew I wasn’t paying any attention, so I turned back towards the showers; maybe that would help again. No, I’d have a few more hours before my ‘friend’ would have news from my brother. I paced, and I waited, and I paced.

  “Looking mighty fine today, Cerys.”

  I whirred around, only to find James. “Oh,” I said. “I don’t feel it. Leigh gave me the day off.”

  James’s eyes lingered up and down my body, and I didn’t like it.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be working?” I asked and finally looked around to see where I actually was.

  Much further away from the furnace—or the showers—or the mess than I had thought. Fuck, I should have been paying more attention.

  I mentally kicked myself for the lapse in awareness. Years of survival had taught me to always know my surroundings, always have an escape route, always be alert to danger. But the distractions of the day - the pain, the system notification, the new development in my body - had broken that vigilance. A potentially fatal mistake.

  “Saw a pretty little thing and wanted to follow it,” he said and edged in closer and closer. A waft of his stench hit me, sweat and dirt mixing together, making it unbearable.

  “I’m not pretty,” I said, crossing my arms under my chest. Then I thought better of it. It actually made them hurt.

  “Look, just about good enough to eat to me,” he grinned. His yellowing teeth showed through his dirty, cracked lips.

  Nausea swept through me. I shouldn’t have kept walking.

  As he took another step closer, I took a step back.

  “Leigh said she’d take me outside the gates, a celebration,” I said.

  “Oh, celebrating what?” he asked with a snicker.

  I stood as straight as I could when I said it. Maybe he’d think it was as horrid as I did, this bleeding. Being a woman wasn’t all it was made out to be.

  “I got my period,” I said with pride.

  I’d hoped the mention of blood might disgust him enough to make him back off. It was a desperate tactic, but I had few options. My eyes darted around, looking for anyone who might interrupt, anyone whose presence might deter him. The area was deserted - intentionally so, I realized too late. He’d followed me to this isolated spot deliberately.

  It did seem to stop him in his tracks. His brows knitted with confusion before his face broke into a laugh. “That’s why you got the day off—little tummy cramps?”

  I could only nod, and my back touched the garden wall, the brickwork digging into my bones.

  James’s hand shot out, pinning me there with one arm while his other hand slid up my shirt; feeling my skin. He licked his cracked lips as he yanked my breast binding up and, to my horror, out of the way, exposing a nipple. He grabbed it between his fingers and squeezed hard before taking it into his mouth, sucking on it roughly. I cried out, but no one was here—no one would hear me. They were all working. I had to think—I had to find another way out of this.

  My body froze, a primal paralysis taking hold. My mind, however, raced frantically. I needed an angle, an opportunity, anything. If I fought back directly, he’d overpower me - he was far stronger. If I screamed, who would hear? And would they even intervene if they did? I needed him to relax his guard, to believe he had won. Then perhaps I’d have a chance.

  I stiffened when he reached inside my pants and gripped my ass, yanking me in closer. A chill ran down my spine as I felt his unwelcome presence pressing against me. I had to get away from him.

  “Know what the best way of getting rid of stomach cramps is?” he asked again, still playing with my nipple.

  I shook my head, trying to ignore his hand’s persistent and unwelcome touch against my waistband. “No,” I said firmly.

  He slid his hand down further, feeling me through the thick cloth. “A good old tumble in the sack, that’s what,” he leered.

  I forced a laugh, hoping to diffuse the tense situation. “Wouldn’t be very pleasant, all that blood everywhere.”

  “It means a man can come inside his woman and not worry about getting her pregnant,” he explained crudely.

  “Still, all that sticky mess,” I added, unable to even look at him.

  His attitude changed in the blink of an eye. “Look at me, bitch,” he growled, grabbing a fistful of hair and forcing my head up so our eyes met again. “I’m going to be inside you whether you like it or not. Period or not.” His hips jerked forward, pushing his cock against my stomach once more before sliding it downward between my legs where there was more fabric, more resistance.

  I had one chance… one idea sparked in my mind.

  What if—

  —it was totally possible.

  It was going to happen. I grinned.

  If I couldn’t prevent this through force, I’d have to use guile. Mom had taught me that sometimes the path to victory required playing along, letting your enemy believe they’d won until the moment you struck. It went against every instinct, but survival often did. I needed to get him somewhere isolated, somewhere I might find a weapon or create distance to run. Somewhere the odds might shift, even slightly, in my favor.

  “Isn’t this a little too out in the open?” I tried, biting my tongue. “Don’t you want to take me any way you please, somewhere a little more private?”

  He glanced around, his lust-filled eyes scanning the area for potential witnesses. “Oh, now that’s what I’m talking about,” he growled eagerly.

  “There’s a spot I saw from the furnace,” I teased, running my hands down his back in a desperate attempt to distract him. He shivered at my touch, but so did I—not out of pleasure.

  “Where?” he asked. “Show me.”

  I wasn’t sure taking this man out anywhere was a good idea, but if I could try to run for it somewhere along the way, I fucking would. Any advantage I could get.

  He pulled my shirt back over my exposed chest, and we hit the outer wall in record time. Good old James breezed us right on by the gate guard. “Taking this pretty lass out for a walk.”

  The guard’s gaze lingered on me, his eyes revealing his hidden desires before he muttered, “I saw nothing.”

  A smirk slid onto James’ lips as he glanced at the guard behind us. “He wants a piece of you too,” his hands never left my waist.

  “But you won’t let him, will you,” I begged. “If you want to keep coming back to me, you won’t let anyone else touch me, will you?”

  I hated every word coming out of my mouth, hated the implication that there would be future encounters, hated playing into his fantasy of possession. But I needed to maintain the ruse until the right opportunity presented itself. Beyond the walls, there would be more cover, more potential weapons, more escape routes. I just needed to be patient, to stay alert, to wait for my moment.

  Survival of the fittest… Mom always said.

  Survival of the smartest, I’d retaliate.

  Smart I was.