Lawg yawned and stretched his arms to shake off the sleepiness as he stepped out of the captain's quarters, an 8 foot by 5, fiberglass enclosure around a king sized captain's bed. He whistled as he headed to the shower for a post good-night's-sleep refreshment. The overhead light was dim as usual, failing to brighten on time as they often do when going from night mode to the other mode. It's space so technically it's always night mode. That was a bad feature to install, but far from his worst investment. He skipped along merrily, brushing his teeth and failing to whistle due to the toothpaste.

  "Do-doot doodlyCRAP!!" he yelled as the light brightened and Izzy was standing there staring at him in an alarmingly sneaky way. He power-horked the toothbrush out of his larynx and checked his pants for jump-scare shits.

  "Damn, Izzy. Don’t creep up on people like th-…Izzy?" he said as she stared blankly, frozen in place. He made a few quick movements like he was playing imaginary dodgeball. She didn’t even blink.

  "Shit…Hey, people…someone broke the Izzy." he said lightly tapping her nose to get any reaction and failing.

  "Is she okay?" asked Marley approaching cautiously.

  "How do I know?" Lawg asked.

  "Check her pulse." he suggested.

  "Do they have a pulse? If so, what is considered normal?" Lawg asked as Duffy approached.

  "What did you do Lawg?" she scolded.

  "I woke up and she was all petrified like this. Not my fault."

  "Is she sleeping?" Duffy asked, poking her with the broom.

  "I don’t think they need to sleep. Maybe she's recharging." Marley shrugged.

  "They don’t recharge, they're nuclear…what if she's about to have a meltdown or something, do we shove her…in…something? Crate?" Lawg said freaking out.

  "Yea because a plastic or pine crate would take most of the brunt of a nuclear detonation and we'd be fine." Duffy said dryly.

  "Chuck some water in her face." Marley said handing Duffy a glass. She chucked it and on impact Izzy took a step forward as if already strolling along.

  "…-sidering what little practice I've ha-" she said towards the wall, as she froze again mid-step.

  "Um…yay? She's alive?" smiled Marley. Stepping way back.

  "She's having a tweak-out brain-fart or something." Lawg said grabbing a spatula as a weapon.

  "Oh that's real scientific, did you learn that in Xenobiology school?" Duffy complained. Lawg looked as blank as Izzy.

  "Oh snap! Lawg got frozen too!" Marley yelled. "It's spreading!"

  "No, he's fine, he's just trying to figure out what Xenobiology is, and it's not the study of warrior princesses." she added.

  "Damn." Lawg sighed. Izzy jolted and swung her arm abruptly.

  "…-cking lunatic. Let me do this on my-" she said, locking up in a very scolding pose with her mouth wide open.

  "Soooo…I'm freaking out." Marley nodded. Duffy ran to the rear airlock and down the corridor to the Greg-trailer. She knocked loudly on the door. There was silence and then footsteps before he answered.

  "Kinda busy." He muttered.

  "Izzy's broken. I think Lawg did it."

  "The hell are you talking about she's right…" Greg said looking back. "Oopse." he chuckled. "Kill the feed, we got an issue." he yelled back.

  Greg and Duffy strolled to the point of confusion, where Izzy way laying on the ground and lifeless with her eyes wide open and one slightly rolled back. Lawg was performing very poorly done CPR.

  "Don’t die on us, and also don’t explode if you do!" he yelled. Attempting chest compressions and making zero impact like trying to compress a brick with tits.

  "Lawg." said another Izzy standing with Duffy and Greg, arms crossed and casually irritated.

  "HAA!" he squealed. "What the crap? What is going on, am I still in the dream? I can't still be in the dream, I wanna go home!" he said curling up in a ball.

  "Stop freaking out, you're not in a dream, everything is fine." Izzy sighed.

  "Izzy just sucks at piloting." Greg explained.

  "What does that even mean?" Lawg asked, one eye twitching.

  "Piloting multiple bodies. I wasn’t allowed to pilot when I was younger so I never learned." she explained. Greg stepped in.

  "Most Osirians start piloting when they are around 3 or 4 years old. Izzy never got any experience and she's way past the curve. Every Osirian kid needs to learn basic piloting. Older Izzy apparently thought it was too much of a pain to have multiple rebellious little sisters under her responsibility, so this Izzy was denied. It's pretty shitty of her." Greg sighed. "She should have mastered this a decade ago."

  "I'm getting the hang of it." she muttered.

  "No your not. You spent ten minutes trying to move and ended up moving the spare you left in the Tasty-freeze."

  "Taste-E-Chill!" said Lawg. "How many Izzy's do we have?" he added.

  "Technically 3 on the ship including the glitchy prototype., but she can barely get a second one to pick up a ball." Greg said. "Gotta practice ball handling."

  "We can't have 2 new crewmen on this little ship, I can't handle the drama and the arguing and getting to learn someone else's habbits and problems." Lawg whined.

  "Lawg it's an avatar, not a new person. They're all the exact same Izzy we already know." Duffy explained.

  "What if one of them doesn’t wanna be a slave and rebels and kills us all?"

  "Lawg…" Greg said rubbing his face. "Let me try this like you would explain to a child or a really stupid guy."

  "Kay." he nodded.

  "How many pairs of shoes do you have?" Greg asked.

  "One." he replied.

  "That doesn’t work, how many environmental suits do you have?" Greg re-tried.

  "One." Lawg nodded.

  "Oh for the love of…what do you own as clothing or equipment that you have more than just one of?" he asked.

  "We're kinda poor." Lawg admitted.

  "Anyone? Can anyone help?" Greg asked.

  "He's got 2 arms." Marley shrugged.

  "Good enough. So you have 2 arms. Which arm is the real Lawg's arm?" Greg asked.

  "All of them?" he answered.

  "Exactly. Your arm isn't gonna kill you in your sleep, because it's an arm and it only moves when you move it. It's a thing, an object with no mind of its own. It's part of your body, but it's not a new person. You can move one or both of them because they are just extensions of your mind's power. Izzy's new bodies are like her arms, she just hasn’t ever used them before so she can't do jack shit with them yet. At no point do you become so skilled at moving your arms that your arms become sentient and decide to leave you and have their own life, or turn evil and start choking you." he explained

  "That would be horrible." Lawg gasped.

  "No, stop! Just listen. Every Izzy here is just Izzy, they're just parts of a single organism. Izzy is basically learning to juggle with arms she's never used before. Her ball control is still bad."

  "How many Greg's are on my ship?" he asked.

  "Just me." he assured.

  "How come she gets brand new extra arms and you don’t?" Marley asked.

  "Because I'm special." He shrugged. Izzy rolled her eyes.

  "Yea, more like damaged." Izzy muttered. "He can't pilot because he's a frigging trillion years old and piloting wasn’t invented until he was already so old to successfully transmit. There is a limit to the number of Surrogate bodies someone can operate because their memory adds up. You experience multiple lives in real-time so you end up with double the life experience and memory by running 2 Surrogates. Greg's so damn old that he's got way too much memory to print, and if you compress it down far enough that you can fit it on a printable brain, well it's not good. Trying to scoop out 15 millenia of Greg and decided what 700 or 800 years you can hold should be used to define everything he is. It did not have good results. He's just too much Greg to transmit and run at the same time" Izzy informed.

  "I basically went insane and self destructed in a few minutes. I have a lot of layers and apparently they are all important to the whole picture. All pretty bad too." he agreed.

  "Didn't you print him here?" asked Duffy.

  "Nope. They just isolated my brain and a chunk of nervous system and stuffed it through a singularity with enough bio-mechanical nanoprobes to grow the rest of a body. Universe jumping pretty much destroys anything that goes through except raw information. I'm the only thing that can get through with enough to regenerate and build a printer." he yawned. "I'm made of very difficult to replicate stuff."

  "I bet that had a degree of discomfort to it." Marley nodded.

  "You ever had a bad cut that took a while to heal because your body had to grow a bunch of flesh-meat to fix it?"

  "Sure." nodded Marley.

  "It's kinda that same raw, exposed, freshly cut meat feeling, except instead of growing back a single drop of tissue I re-grew about…eh…617 pounds in about 70 seconds.

  "Bummer." he whispered.

  "Yea you new kids have it easy. Painless 3-d print and then, bink, little light comes on and you boot up. Just like waking up from a nap." Greg said with a finger snap.

  "Careful, you could kill someone like that." Lawg muttered.

  "No giant alien ever killed anyone by snapping their fingers." Greg scoffed. Lawg shuffled off abruptly.

  "Hey what's up with him?" Marley asked.

  "He probably feels like he's losing control of his ship and crew." Duffy suggested.

  "That's ridiculous, this ship and crew is about as chaotic and out of control as it's ever been." Marley pooh-poohed.

  "Well…" Duffy pondered. "Technically there are more aliens on the ship than the rest of us, both in number and pounds they're bigger and tougher, they own the trailer we drag around that's bigger than the ship, they make more money than we do, they have twice as many hot tubs and both of them are more confident than Lawg."

  "Yea, I can see that now." Marley nodded, munching on some corn chips.

  Greg strutted hesitantly up to the Fusion cockpit where Lawg was kicked back watching stars get closer.

  "So…nice, car." he said awkwardly. Lawg looked up slowly with a suspicious paranoia, considering running or playing dead.

  "It's a classic American muscle car, the first Fusion powered car model as far as I could find." Lawg nervously bragged. Greg swallowed his temptation to burst his bubble.

  "…sure, why not. Anyway I was just bored and figured we'd hang out, just the guys, couple of studs kinda squabbling for power, as men often do, not necessarily as enemies but you know how we are." Greg mumbled, struggling to socialize. Lawg looked more alarmed.

  "Is there any convenient indication for when you get possessed by Jenny or some rogue hacker, like that robot we had who conveniently changing eye color to indicate he's a different person?" Lawg asked.

  "Not really, to be honest. Don’t get so uptight about it. Jenny is long gone by now and if she approached we'd pick up the ship on sensors way before I started tripping balls. I brought you a beer. Figured we could just have a drink and talk guy-stuff." he smiled.

  "You brought me beer." Lawg said hitting the panic button he forgot to connect to anything.

  "I cut yours about 50/50 with extra sweet tea." he said almost gagging. "So it's nice and sugary like you like…and that doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t remotely mind taking my own brand of dark ale I spent 720 years perfecting and watering it down with candy-water, because it's for a friend." he smiled flakily, trying to look sincere.

  "Greg, what the hell?" he asked, hitting the button faster.

  "Okay, I suck at this, look, I am trying very hard here to be nice and friendly and tell you that I'm perfectly willing to follow…some of your orders, because this is your ship and temporarily that makes me one of the crew." he said, looking like he was about to lay a very large egg or have a meltdown of some kind."

  "I'm absolutely terrified right now." Lawg admitted as his voice got higher and certain body parts began to retract for safety.

  "Izzy feels that I have not been cooperative enough and since this is your ship and the mission we came here for went tits-up, there is no longer a need to confiscate control of the vessel. So I'm acknowledging that I'm sorry, and you are the captain and that I'm just the…what's that word for not the Captain?"

  "Suboordinate?"

  "No definitely not that far." Greg shook.

  "First officer?" he guessed.

  "I think Izzy hold that title officially, maybe higher."

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  "Chief of tactical and weaponry?" Lawg proposed nervously.

  "Yep, that's the one. That's good. Solid title of authority, slightly below Captain and first officer, still above everyone else and arguably cooler than anything. Let's go with that one." he shrugged.

  "Izzy is blackmailing you by withholding sex isn't she?" Lawg muttered.

  "Oh, damn it's so horrible. I have no followers here, I have no options, the one female remotely viable may outrank me. I thought I could outlast her, and she would admit a draw but clearly she isn't and I'm losing my cool."

  "I feel you, Chief Tactical Officer Greg. I've been there myself. The hot chick on my crew turned into a panda, the other hot one disappeared on an away mission, the robot chick was just not interested and Chloe kept trying to murder me and then she melted in the fridge, plus the other robot hogged the attention of the good ones for a while. Plus Duffy is fat. It's a tough life out here sometimes. At least you got a steady supply, even if she does use that against you."

  "I don’t know how you manage." Greg sighed, sipping his beer.

  "You just find hobbies, lower your standards and take what opportunities come along. I've gone months without it before. How far behind is the Izzy keeping you?"

  "Almost 2 days. It's unhealthy." Greg sighed.

  "I can feel my sympathy turning into jealousy in real-time." Lawg said shaking his head.

  "Oh, and I should be clear about this. If you tell the others about me admitting you outrank me, I will literally stuff you, up your own ass, wad you into a lunch bucket and fire you into space." Greg yawned.

  "I don’t doubt this in the slightest." said a pale Lawg. The palest Lawg you can imagine…birch maybe, or even poplar.

  "Good talk Captain. At ease." Greg half-ass saluted.

  Greg sat in the Den of the Taste-E-Trailer with Izzy and they both looked awkward, neither wanting to speak first at the awkward subject.

  "It's completely up to you." he said.

  "Isn't this illegal?" she asked.

  "Izzy…I'm Greg. I've broken more laws than there are laws to break."

  "I know we've been intimate but this is just…a whole other level." she admitted.

  "I know, but exciting and fun, right? No?" he asked, trying to see if it was just him. He hoped it was mutual. She didn’t seem to share his excitement.

  "What if it feels wrong?" she asked discreetly "It doesn’t seem natural."

  "Then I'll just stop. Say the word and I'll back out, and I won't ask again." he said.

  "Ugh, God…Older Izzy would literally kill you if she knew we were doing this. And what about the size difference, I mean you so much bigger than me, won't that be a problem?" she asked.

  "It's definitely gonna be strange and uncomfortable for a minute but it may start to become enjoyable. I'm not pushing you, just making some suggestions and asking that you think it over." he said patiently. "Just throwing the idea out there."

  "Why does this sound so bad but I'm still really curious."

  "Because you're the cool Izzy." he shrugged.

  "Alright, fine but if it's too weird and I say it's over, you just pull out and don’t argue." she said looking stern.

  "I promise. You're a real team player." he smiled excitedly.

  "This is so taboo. We're crazy for even trying this." she smirked.

  "I know. No Osirian that I've ever known of, has piloted someone else's body"

  "So it's your first time too?" she asked.

  "Maybe first time ever, for anyone. Only reason your mind wouldn’t just immediately reject the signal is because my software is so old it doesn’t register as a body-hack. Without this dream machine reverse-engineered, it would be impossible. This is uncharted territory." he grinned. "Pioneers of science."

  "Kinky." she said raising an eyebrow.

  "Don’t make it a sex thing, Izzy. This is scientific revolution, not a 3-way. Don’t make it weird. Now just relax and let's see if I can handle your body." he said with a serious look on his face. "Don’t even say it." he added.

  The webcam adjusted way down as a very bug-eyed Izzy smiled into the view. She skipped excitedly back to the kitchen for a good angle and hit record.

  "Good morning nimrods and nippleheads, it's ya boy…I mean it's ya girl…It's cooking with Greg, but a tiny Greg with tits!" She said in a voice that somehow sounded more Greg than Izzy even in style and timbre. Like some androgynous fratboy in drag or a woman with way too much testosterone. She cleared her throat and it got even deeper. "Today we're test driving a new body and, oh damn what a body. I thought this thing was fun to detail, and it's just as fun to drive. Today I'm making Pasta, because why not, we have a lot of pasta. No idea why. Now the secret to good pasta is by covering it with a bunch of meat. First let's make meatballs. You wanna start with some quality ground, hambur-awe crap no!" GregIzzy said knocking over the cutting board with a boob. How does she get anything done with these in the way." he said aggressively swinging them side to side and nearly hitting the saucepan.

  "Um…" Lawg said, standing at the edge of the kitchen zone with a frozen burrito and a look of pure disbelief.

  "Not now Woody, Momma's got balls to warm!" she snickered. Picking up the board and dusting off the hamburger wad. "It's fine, folks. All that just cooks right out. Heat cleans everything. Anyway so let's start with some garlic." she said reaching out and punching through the cabinet door. "Slight miscalculation."

  "Duffy…they're doing something extra weird!" he yelled. "Why do you sound slightly like Greg?" he asked with a befuddled curiosity.

  "Can it, Lawg. Alright, that door was lower than expected. I'll fix that later. Greg will fix that layer. Geese this perspective is just trippy. It's like a just ate shrooms, Everything is way bigger than you remember when you're suddenly under 7 foot." she said shaking her head. "Anyway, we got garlic, just roast that in some olive oil…any minute now." she said staring at the pan and gripping the handle. "Why is the pan not getting hot?" she said feeling it with her hand and squeezing the cast iron handle harder. "Hey dipshit…how do I know if the pan is getting hot?" she asked, extending it to Lawg. He patted the side and let out a scream. Izzy nodded to the camera. "Okay so it's heating up, just slower than usual. Not used to waiting this long to heat things up, Greg body runs a bit toastier than this one, just a matter of compensation." she snickered as Lawg stuck his hand in some cold vodka and left feeling sad.

  "Okay, it just got weird." said another Izzy, walking into the kitchen. "We may have to pull the plug."

  "Really? Is that a Greg slow down or a Greg, get out of me right now, sorta thing?" he asked.

  "It's really strange, I don’t like it in here." she added as Duffy's ears perked up and she sped up her approach. "I'm pulling the plug." she said again.

  "Can I finish with the balls or do I need to just forget the balls and pull out of you first?" GregIzzy asked other Izzy. Marley and Duffy stood frozen, lost for words. Just out of view of the kitchen but in full earshot of the conversation. They slow-turned to one another, unsure what to do.

  "Soooo…" Duffy said looking down at Marley, who just looked worried. He looked back and shrugged silently with a terrified confusion.

  "How long do you need to finish?" Izzy asked GregIzzy.

  "I dunno, I'm finicky. Sometimes balls get hot quick and you're done and sometimes you gotta go slowly. It's hotter with just me. You don’t want to rush things and end up with something too pink on the inside or a runny mess." GregIzzy explained.

  "I thought you preferred pink on the inside."

  "Yea, but not everyone else does." GregIzzy yawned. "Makes people sick."

  "Cant you just hand me the balls and let me take care of it?" she sighed.

  "I've been in you for ten minutes and I'm just starting to get somewhere. If I quit now the balls are ruined. Time sensitive stuff. If it's too uncomfortable I can just quit, it's just an experiment after all, but there is just no option to hand the meat off midway and expect it to finish right. Nobody knows my meat like I do. It's all or none, and up to you" GregIzzy explained.

  "I can give you a few more minutes but I'm kinda lightheaded."

  "Here, maybe I can scoop some hot juice on these things, they may go quicker. I always have lots of liquids, sometimes I even just drizzle a bit of red wine on the balls. It's more about moisture, nobody wants dry balls. Smells nice too"

  Marley just looked sad. All he wanted was that leftover orange, but he sure as shit wasn’t going in there with whatever was going on in there.

  "What's the deal here?" Izzy asked, stirring the sauce. "This seems overly thick"

  "Better too thick than not thick enough. You can always add moisture if it's too thick and make everything go together, if it's too thin, you're just disappointedly screwed." GregIzzy showed.

  "Okay but don’t get juice everywhere and blame me." Izzy sighed. "I don’t wanna make a mess in here, especially since we're both messing around in my body. That's all going to be blamed on me, because even though you are doing it, it's technically by body dripping things everywhere. I'm not in control, so you're cleaning it." she scolded.

  "Izzy…this is a messy adventure. I do this all the time on my own and it's sometimes messy. You gotta know that going in. I mean especially with the height difference and me slipping around running into things, that's part of it. I'm not even familiar with your feet yet, and footwork makes more difference than you think. Nobody thinks in the thick of it that feet matter, but where you put your feet down is key. I'm not used to your body from this position, your hands are too small to get a good grip on anything, I got ball-grease on the counter and my tools are all dirty. I was doing good handling things on my own with your hands, but then Lawg got involved, he touched something he shouldn't have and that's how you get hurt. He ran off pouting and took the vodka. Now I can't add a splash of vodka to my balls for that zesty finish I wanted. When you try new things and you take it to the kitchen before you really get your footing down, you make mistakes. Balls are almost there, by the way." GregIzzy noted. "They look pretty even."

  "Good, my back is killing me."

  "You need a chair?" he asked.

  "No I'll stand, I'll just be glad when this is over. I look so strange from that perspective. Not used to seeing myself like this."

  "You look lovely." he scoffed.

  "How do you know? You can even see my face from where you are without a mirror. All you can see is hot-sauce and a few pounds of sausage." she said scooting the ingredients out of GregIzzy's way.

  "I can't get used to these tits in my way. They block so much. With your juggs up here I can barely see my meat or the knobs." Greg said turning up the burner carefully. "I'm basically just randomly twisting thing and hoping something works." GregIzzy chuckled. Marley slapped Duffy's hand as she tried to nudge him past the wall so see what was going on.

  "I'm not going in there! None of that sounds sanitary! We're gonna need a new kitchen now." Marley complained harshly, but in a whisper.

  "You're more sneaky than me, I don’t have padded feet. I wanna know what's going on but I don’t wanna see it. You're quiet enough to not get heard."

  "Buy some fuzzy slippers, damnit!" Marley snipped. "I'm not going in there while they're sexin! It's gross and dangerous and messy balls, Duff."

  "You know what?" regular Izzy said, as Marley and Duffy perked up to hear better. "I think I'm actually getting the hang of this. It's unfamiliar and strange but I guess I'm just not used to multitasking or being turned on, not in more than one place at once. It's visually disorienting. You're handling me over there, I'm handling me back here, but I can still feel both of them at once and it's slightly overwhelming. Just a lot of sensations" she sighed, sitting down. Marley made a face of horror, directed at Duffy.

  "I think I'm done…you wanna taste the results?" GregIzzy asked. Duffy made a similar face of offensiveness.

  "Animals." Duffy whispered "Have they no shame?"

  "That's unsanitary; you just stuck your hands in there." Izzy huffed.

  "No I stuck YOUR hands in there, and I washed your hands before we started, so it's fine. It's no different than licking your own fingers after you're done." GregIzzy informed.

  "Why in the kitchen?" Marley whispered, scratching his floppy ear.

  "I know right?" Duffy sighed. "People eat there…or they did before."

  "Okay fine." Izzy agreed. "But assuming it's good, we wrap this all up and go back to our ship so you can get out of me and get some ice on this, she's overheating." she nodded. "You run really high-energy and I'm going to feel it later."

  "Fair enough." he said handing her a fork with some seasoned beef on it.

  "Oh wow…you do that way better with my hands." Izzy admitted with a mouthful and an awkward tone.

  "You got good hand control, ladies touch. These kitchen tools weren't made for my big hands anyway. Aaaand were done. That's satisfying. Look at that nice even brown coating. Just gonna save the drippings for later. Lotta good re-uses for that. I gotta say I'm worn out." GregIzzy sighed heavily.

  "I keep looking up when you talk. I'm not use to seeing you this small. So use to you being huge that I never expect to see you way down here." she explained.

  "Sometimes, honestly, I feel too big, like other people's things just aren't designed to fit me properly. It's a lot of maneuvering and trying to squeeze through openings. Fitting properly is kinda refreshing, and we make a good team." GregIzzy sighed.

  "Well, normally you're pushing 8, now that you're a little over 6. It's more manageable." Izzy explained, tasting another bite of food.

  "Six or seven is about average, right?" GregIzzy asked.

  "It's above average for a human but for our kind it's still on the small side. It's close enough for human preferences. Sometimes size isn't always a good thing. Durability and versatility are important too" she shrugged, finishing the meatball and going for another. "I hate it when you're right but this is great, I was not expecting to like this at all, let alone end up going in for seconds" she giggled.

  "See, I have skills. Save room for later though. Everyone thinks the noodle is the star of the show, but it's really not. All about the experience and the texture. You just got be patient with the meatballs, they take some attention. You can't just slap them down and expect immediate results. Beefy enough?" he asked."

  "Very hearty Almost gamey but I like my meat a little wild. I can't put these balls down. Whatever you got them rolled in is really tasty. Did you rub them before I got here or something?" she asked with a mouthful.

  "That's just natural juices and a little love…and salt, there is a lot of salt on these bad-boys." GregIzzy admitted. She perked her ears up as the sound of Duffy lightly heaving in the distance, followed by rapid footsteps away from the kitchen area. Izzy dismissed it.

  "Okay well that's enough cooking for one day, I need my original body back. I'm supposed to be learning to pilot 2 at once and I can't do that if you're still in one. Now that I'm use to watching two screens, let's get it back in the cryo-tubes for diagnostic work and we can unplug you so you can get back to your normal body.

  "I was just starting to get used to being a chick. It's not a thing I'd want to be stuck with, but it was worth a try for a while. See, now we know it can be done. You CAN manually hack into a prototype body." GregIzzy said giving the boobs one last pat and powering down. The Izzy he was running sad down and gently laid back, the eyes going dim as she flopped down on the table.

  Greg sat up from the cryo-bed in the prison trailer, and peeled the headgear off. Rolling his eyes around and standing up.

  "What a trip." he yawned, stumbling and nailing the doorway with his face. "And I'm gigantic again." he sighed.

  Duffy peaked around the corner and saw an Izzy sprawled out on the table motionless and deactivated, lots of soppy napkins and a few random veggies.

  "New kitchen my ass, we may need a new ship" she whispered to Marley as Greg strolled out of the airlock room rotating his shoulders and neck, like from a good nap.

  "Hey there guys. Awe man, that was fun but I am really stiff and sore. I'm not used to lying down that long with something on my head. It's a whole different thing with 2 Izzy's going at once. Did you see the teamwork?" Did you guys catch the show?" he asked. Duffy looked very displeased as she crossed her arms and Marley followed suit. Greg puzzled, but continued. "I got it on film. I know, I know, gotta delete that one or I could get in trouble. My culture considers that very taboo and after the bug incident, it's legally banned, but… new universe, new rules. It's not like anyone else is here to tell two grown adults what they can do with their bodies." he scoffed.

  "Greg…that's just not considerate." Duffy scolded.

  "Izzy was cool with it, what's the problem?" he asked.

  "IN THE KITCHEN?" Marley yelled. "You have a kitchen on your ship, why contaminate our kitchen?"

  "Contaminate is a bit strong, it's just a little sticky. Table height in here is better, more gadgets…you got fresh veggies in your fridge, mine is just rations and printed crap. Okay, sure I made a mess, but I'm going to clean it right now. I didn’t think anyone would need it till I got it cleaned."

  "You can't clean that and make it okay." Duffy argued.

  "Why not? A little lemon spray cleaner dissolves even the toughest grease and sticky messes. Billy Mays even said so …everyone does that."

  "That's not what a kitchen is for, they make bunks for a reason, you got your own little den with a hot tub and everything." she complained.

  "What? I'm not getting my signature sauce in the hot tub or on the bed, what is wrong with you people? You do it in the kitchen, or sometimes outdoors, but never in the hot tub. You clog the jets and get crumbs everywhere." Greg dismissed as Izzy approached, awkwardly squeezing her ass and pondering something.

  "Greg…did you modify anything?" she asked, feeling like body number 3 was different than her usual one.

  "Maybe just a little." he admitted, looking caught.

  "Did you make my ass bigger?" she asked. Duffy threw her hands up in frustration like nobody was listening to her.

  "I just tweaked it slighty. I personally prefer it that way."

  "Greg, you can't just widen my ass like that, I knew something felt off and now I know why. You can't just bend and adjust my body to your liking.

  "It's temporary water weight, give me 3 minutes in the lab and I can fix that. It's a test body, it's not like I stretched out the original." he scoffed.

  "Dude!?" Marley objected.

  "It's an Osirian thing, you wouldn’t understand. We've all jacked around with our spare bodies. It's like what you mortals do in your cars, when you change it up for a more comfortable ride" Greg defended. "Little more padding for the ass."

  "Greg, just let me know this kinda stuff so I don’t spend an hour limping around and trying to walk because something feels broken or defective. And the whole time it's just my ass that you played with, when I was in another body."

  "After what we just did I kinda thought we had an unspoken thing. I thought we connected really deep, and with all the experimenting I thought I could just take small liberties with you. I didn’t know you'd be upset." he said. Duffy stormed out of the conversation.

  "I'm never using that kitchen again!" she hollered. Marley shook his head with a shaming look, and walked away.

  "What's their problem?" Izzy asked with confusion.

  "I dunno, I mean I was just going to clean it up. Yea, it's a mess but they've made worse. It's just hamburger grease and sauce. It's not like we had sex in there."

  "Humanoids are weird. They get offended by everything." she sighed. "I'd save some leftovers for the dipshits but they seem really screwy today." She said.

  "Forget them, I don’t know what their malfunction is half the time. Eating in the hut tubs, refusing to socialize. They're like animals sometimes." he shrugged.

  "Humanoids are disgusting creatures sometimes, Greg." she shook.