…clean up crews uncovered a previously unknown ruin beneath the sands of the Sahara.

  The markings inside are causing a small uproar in the archeological community, as they depict strange never before encountered god like figures. Chiefly among them a figure with great poofy hair, diamond eyes, a much too large grin, and massive feet. As well as a child sized mummy wrapped not in typical burial bandages but multi patterned short strips of cloth.

  The only semi recognizable imagery found was of Heqet, the frog god of early creation myths. Though she is depicted wielding a sword far more reminc, rather than the khopesh or similar sickle shaped swords common to the area and suspected time frame of the structures construction.

  Many are calling it a hoax, or some sort of Samurai joke, though none have come forward at this point…

  Expert from North African News broadcast.

  *****

  Steven flicked off the wall screen, he’d barely been paying attention to it anyway. Olive was late, by a whole hour.

  When she’d come running into the master bedroom a week ago, nearly bowling over Paige in her excitement, babbling at high speed about going to some sort of Samurai concert with her best friend Issi from Calgary, along with the Samurai clown from a year ago, he’d been skeptical about letting her go. His wife had convinced him that there wasn’t a safer place in the world than beside a Samurai who loved kids as much as Cassy, so they’d agreed she could go.

  Bee-Dazzler was doing a world tour, and Cassy had managed to get tickets for the three of them for the first show of the tour, in Grand Rapids. Cassy had promised to be a responsible clown, and give hourly updates. Those updates stopped 2 hours ago.

  Paige called out from the next room. “Honey, is that you pacing again? You need to stop worrying, she’s going to be home safe any minute now. Probably with some new Sock Girl adventure to regale us with, how she and Issi saved the concert with frogs in socks, or something just as silly.”

  Steven opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

  His wife entered the room with an, I told you so, grin on her face. “I told you so.” She said as she walked toward the front door.

  Olive’s voice rang out from the entrance.”Help! Can someone; ooof,” There was a loud thump from the entryway, “Can someone help me with this? It’s very heavy.”

  Paige and Steve hurried down the stairs to find their daughter struggling to drag a polished marble statue twice her size into the mud room.

  “Sweetheart, what’s that?” They asked in shocked unison.

  Olive wrapped in a wide variety of socks and wearing what appeared to be a pharaoh's headdress, let the statue rock back onto its base and slid down the wall onto her butt. “It’s a Statue! Of me, and Issi, though they kept calling her Heckit, which is very rude, and Cassy! We saved Eegip from the cabbage, and they made us all statues! They wanted to make a really big one, but Barty said that might bring a pair of docs, which he seemed to think was terrible. I don’t think he likes needles.”

  Olive stopped to breathe, Paige stepped in before she could start back up again. “That sounds like a great adventure, why don’t we leave the statue here for now. You can get cleaned up, and tell us all about it after dinner.”

  Sock Girl looked up at her parents and down at herself. “My socks are full of sand. I have lots of socks…”

  “Let's get you into the bath while your father warms up some lasagna.” Paige said as she picked her tired child up off the floor.

  *****

  One bath, one argument about how many socks is too many to wear to dinner, in which the tickle monster was the true winner, and one meal of better the next day anyway grandpa’s recipe lasagna, found Olive and her parents sitting comfortably on the big soft couch in the living room.

  “So my little Sock Girl, how did a short trip to a concert end with you coming home late, with a marble statue? Asked Steve.

  “And half of a sand box in your socks?” His wife finished.

  Olive sat up straighter, her happy grin melting into her semi serious story time face, as she snuggled her stuffed clown frog in her lap. “We meant to go to see the bee lady sing, we really did! After Cassy picked me up, we got Issi from Calgary, then we stopped by Vulcan to see if Cassy’s friend Sci-Fi wanted to come too, but she was too busy trying to get this old spaceship from a TV show to fly.”

  *****

  “I know you could just bonk it with your hammer or whatever, and the crazy alien clown magic powers you’ve got would make her fly. Would probably somehow turn some balloons into red shirts to send down to planets too. But I want to make this work with my own two hands! Well, hands and copious amounts of alien technology teleported from a galaxy far far away…”

  Cassy put on her most serious and friendly face as she nodded at the young woman trying to turn Vulcan's model of the Enterprise into a working spaceship. The clown stepped forward and gave her friend a big hug. “Ok, I will stop the production of the badge shaped blimp balloon. You have fun with your ship, we’ll bring you back some honey popcorn from the show.”

  Cassy’s shoes sproinged springily as she bounced high into the air to land on Time Flies crystal top and oozed slowly through it. She waved vigorously to her studious friend as the watch shaped ship rose up and headed south toward a dazzling concert with adorable bees.

  Cassy looked to the two youngsters lounging in bean bag chairs trying to learn how to make their own balloon creations. “Away we go! To the Bees! And the Dazzle!”

  “Yay” The girls screamed loudly as only excitable young children could.

  “Oh!” Said Issi as she hopped up from her seat and ran over to Time Flies’ console. "Mr. Frogington was teaching me about super ancient peoples, we saw all these neat hippogriffs from Egypt! They used to use pictures to write books! And they carved them into the walls! Mr. Frogginton said we couldn’t do that to our walls though. But look! Look! There’s these super cute frogs! And this one looks like you Cassy!”

  Cassy peaked over Issi’s shoulder at the images of very old walls, frogs, mummies, and… "Hey wait, that looks a lot like me... It's rude to steal another clown's face! Although, if that’s from super old times, then I’m the thief! I don’t wanna be a thief!”

  Cassy paced back and forth a time or two, her oversized shoes squeaking with each step. Pausing mid stride she turned to her passengers, raising a hand with a finger pointed up."I hereby put forth a plan change! Who wants to go to Egypt, and ask about old clowns?!"

  She finished with a stage whisper, and an exaggerated wink. "We can still go to the next show in Montreal, wink, wink”

  "Egypt! The two youngsters screamed, after barely a pause.

  "Time flies! To Egypt! To that hippogriff!"

  Time Flies came to a complete stop, hovering above the former Canadian border. “Hey TF, what gives, Egypt is um, that way?” Cassy pointed at random.

  Barty’s voice came over the speakers. “I um, I think TF is trying to take your instructions a bit too literally…” His voice crackled and fuzzed out briefly, as Time Flies seemed to flip upside down and right side up in 7 different directions at once, the world outside her dome turning unnamable colours.

  *****

  Olive looked up at her parents. “Don’t worry nothing bad happens, Barty said the colours weren’t real and couldn’t hurt us, it was just Time Flies protecting us as best she could from staring into the finit void!” She finished the phrase with her best wiggling fingers and spooky gravitas.

  Steven and Paige looked at each other, trying to keep their smiles at bay, to match their daughters serious tone. “Thank you for telling us, we were getting worried.”

  “And then Poof! We were flying over green! Green like daddy’s Irish day socks!! It was so pretty!”

  *****

  All three occupants of Time Flies' crystal topped cabin had rushed to peer over the edge as the outside shifted from unknowable everythings, back to colours they could name. TF enabled their curiosity further by turning herself entirely see-through.

  “Hey Barty!” Cassy called cheerfully. “Where are we brain buddy? I thought Egypt was all sandy? Also, how did we get here so fast?”

  Barty made the sound of clearing a throat he did not have, his voice coming through the speakers a bit hesitant. “That’s a bit complicated I’m afraid. Time Flies, did, um, a thing. It’s, well, how do I say this?”

  “Cassy and guests, welcome to what will one day become Egypt, although it might be Iran first, or after, or… I can’t access all of my data at the moment, as Time Flies has apparently lived up to her name, and flown through time.”

  “It’s so green!” Olive said in awe, laying flat on TF’s floor, to get a closer look at the lush plains below. “Green like my dad Irish day socks, green like lime gelly gigglers.”

  “All the best things are green.” Issi chimed in. “Like frogs!”

  While the girls stared out through TF’s clear exterior Barty was speaking directly into Cassy’s mind. “I’m getting a strange signal from my family, the ones in a galaxy super far away. As far as I knew we didn’t know about earth yet, nor had the brussel sprouts spread this far. But, um, apparently there is a “fund raising” opportunity about to appear near here, and they are hoping we can take care of it?”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  Never one for subtlety, Cassy the (apparently time traveling) Clown, spoke loudly and with great enthusiasm to her guests. “Hey you two! We time traveled! Maybe we’ll be able to meet that clown painted face to painted face! And Barty just let me know, some cabbage heads are going to drop by to play! What do you say, do Sock Girl and Super Samurai Frog want to…”

  “Safely” She added as an aside.

  “...help me fundraise?” She finished, an eager grin on her face.

  The two young girls looked at eachother, looked at Cassy, at the green below, and back to one another, breaking out into broad grins.

  “Frog Power!” Cried Issi.

  “Sock Power!” Cried Olive.

  “Frogs!” Issi struck a pose.

  “Socks!” Olive struck a pose.

  They descended into a chaos of poses, phrases, and giggles.

  “Frog Socks”

  “Socky Froggy’s!”

  “Froggy Socks!”

  “Soggy Frocks!”

  *****

  Steven interrupted his daughter, looking somewhat concerned. “Wait, did Cassy take you into an active incursion? Did that Clown put you in danger? I thought she was smarter than that.”

  Paige whispered in her husband's ear. “Hun, she’s just telling a story, don’t get too worked up, there’s no way any of this actually happened.” She laughed softly, with a wink.

  Oblivious to her mothers words Olive continued. “Oh, don’t worry daddy, Issi and I stayed inside of Time Flies. Cassy gave us cool onesies that let us control our hero bodies while laying cozy and warm.”

  “I got to be Sock Girl for real!! It was sooo much fun! And Issi was a Samurai Frog. Not a Samurai like Cassy is, like an old sword swinging Samurai. Issi is so cool…”

  “It wasn’t just for our safety though, Barty said something about cultural conaminimuninum… something, also future bugs being bad for the old people?”

  *****

  Issi and Olive were bored. Cassy had left “hours” ago to talk to the people in the little city they had ended up near. The duo had spent some time in their onesies piloting their new hero bodies through the trees, but it wasn’t the same as actually being outside, and with nothing to actually fight yet there wasn’t much to do in them. You can only make so many shrubs dance while covered in socks before it gets old.

  “Barty! I thought you said the evil bushes were coming soon! We’ve been stuck in here for hours!” Olive only half whined at the AI listening through TF’s console.

  “It hasn’t even been a full hour yet. Cassy is still trying to convince the locals she is not an evil spirit or crazy person, which they seem to think is the same thing anyway. The lack of ancient languages in my local database isn’t helping things either.”

  “Not to mention I can’t get ahold of my family, they sent a brief message of, here, and soon, but apparently there are anti paradox time travel protocols in place. Which I didn’t know existed until today. As far as any of us know, time travel like this should be impossible. Time Flies was just a punny name, it wasn’t supposed to be prophetic. I mean, yes we have sometimes gotten to places a little outside of temporal order before, but that was maybe a few minutes, or a few hours. Ok that one time it was almost a year, but those were special circumstances, I just pretended not to notice. Or wait, did I completely not notice and am just now remembering…”

  “Oh, sorry kids. I’m rambling. I’m not used to not having a billion siblings to talk to all the time.”

  “You have a billion siblings?” Issi said in awe. “Do they like games? I bet you play so many games. Teddy never has time to play chessers anymore, Jane tries, but she’s busy too. Most things are so much better since Teddy got the bears. But sometimes I miss the nights we all had to cuddle for warmth.”

  “Chessers!” Olive shouted, waiving sock covered hands in the air. “We can play for real now!”

  “We can play three player! Or maybe four, Time Flies can play too right?” Issi bounced excitedly over to the cupboard where she’d left her chessers board before.

  “Barty, why is one of Teddy’s squirrels in the game cupboard?”

  “Oh, that’s Penelope. She snuck in awhile ago, I pretend not to notice them, and Cassy still has no clue who keeps stealing her snacks. I’m pretty sure I told Nyx about them.”

  “Oh, ok. Nice to meet you Penelope. Would you like to play chessers with us?”

  Penelope the mechanical squirrel looked around the room, its camera eyes going wide as it stared down at the lush greenery below. In a flash of movement neither of the humans could track the squirrel was gone, up through the permeable crystal roof of Time Flies and out into the unknown.

  “I guess it’s just 4 player Chessers then.” Issi replied after a pause.

  *****

  “Chessers is a really fun game!” Olive gushed at her parents. “Issi created it. She wins most of the time, she even beats Barty! And he is super smart! I won twice, but Issi caught on to my sneaky Bob attacks. I can teach you later.”

  “We played a few games, I think Barty was actually winning for once, when we got the signal! It was time for fundraising!”

  *****

  Super Samurai Frog, and Sock Girl were having a blast. While their fragile bodies lay safe and snuggly on board Time Flies, their minds piloted the most advanced technological marvels Cassy had ever deployed onto the battlefield. That is to say an inflatable lawn ornament style frog with a plastic looking sword, and a pile of socks shaped like a person.

  The duo mowed through their grassy opponents with grace and ease. Hopping too and fro, off of any surface they could find, cleanly cutting plants in twain. Or slithering sockily through the crowds, and wrapping them up in argyle and herringbone. Never before had antithesis danced so gracefully in unison, to rhythms that would not be written for several thousand years, as they did that day. Even the largest of models found themselves helpless, as they were pulled every which way by the storm of socks, and a giant frog's very sticky tongue.

  While two girls giggled with glee, dancing, spinning, hopping and slicing through the herbaceous hordes, Cassy bounced on springy shoes, wielding hammer and spray can around the outskirts, keeping any monstrous minions from fleeing into the dark woods to burrow into rich soil and introduce a hive to a planet ill prepared.

  A single Samurai, even aided by her enthusiastic assistants, was hard pressed to contain the incursion into the past. Despite the exuberance of youth, both girls found themselves falling asleep in their cozy costumes, nestled in Time Flies extra soft bean bag chairs.

  Cassy managed though, even all on her own, to stem the tide, shred the shrubberies, and preserve the timeline. Barty had forbidden her from releasing her mounds of minions. One super high tech squirrel running off into the forests of the past was enough. They didn’t need temples to immortal tin toys, and balloon animal deities, popping up across history. Plus Bike and Trashy the Bag were on vacation, and hadn’t been around to be pulled into the past. They had protested at first, but Cassy had insisted. All employees under the big top got mandatory vacation time. Even Cassy, which is what this was supposed to have been, until they got side tracked through time. She was going to have to write herself up when they got back. Refusal to take time off was a serious offence.

  *****

  When the girls woke, some hours later, it was to a massive bonfire, and the celebrations of the locals. Cassy had gathered their aid in piling the plants, and burning them. She’d also shown them how to hunt for fledgling hives and burn them out while young. She was almost completely sure she’d got them all, but it was better to cover all bases.

  Cassy mingled happily among the crowds, although both girls noticed her frequently pause and whisper to Barty.

  Issi sent a message to Cassy. “What’s wrong Cassy? Is Barty being mean?”

  “Yes! He won’t let me do any fun carnival things! One roller coaster won’t destroy history. He’s just being a grumpy Gus.”

  “He won’t even let me put whipped cream on this tasty dessert! Like they’ve never seen food spray from a can!”

  “They haven’t Cassy.” Barty replied so all could hear. “Metal containers won’t be invented for a very long time. You know I wouldn’t stop fun if I didn’t have a very good reason. I like fun too!”

  Barty sounded a bit sad himself over the speakers in the cockpit.

  “I don’t think Barty likes having to be the parent. He sounds just like my mom does when she has to tell us to put away the water guns.” Olive replied.

  “I bet Calgary could use another Carnival when we get back! We can do all the fun things then! Frogs and socks, and clowns, and rides, and frogs and socks.” Issi chimed in.

  “Froggy Socks!”

  “Soggy Frocks!”

  Barty cleared his throat. “Issi, why is your frog holding a bronze kopesh? Where did your katana go?”

  “Oh! I traded it! Isn’t this cool! I didn’t know swords came in this shape.”

  Deep in Cassy’s mind, an AI tried to figure out how to face palm, without either a face or palm.

  *****

  Olive yawned extra wide while she finished the story. “We stayed around for a little while, Cassy wanted to be sure we hadn’t missed any bad plants. Somebody carved those statues super fast, and gave them to us as a thank you when we left”

  “That sounds like a super fun adventure Cassy took you on, too bad you missed the concert though, I know you were looking forward to it.” Paige spoke softly as she picked her daughter up off the couch.

  “Cassy brought you home right after then?”

  “Hmmm?” Olive hummed softly. “Oh no it took us awhile to get back, Time Flies kept finding other places that needed help.”

  Olive let her head fall to her moms shoulder and mumbled as they walked to her room. “I gotta say though, Alexander wasn’t all that great, he doesn’t even wear socks!

  *****

  Back in Vulcan Alberta.

  “You’ve haven’t even been gone a full day Cassy! Where did you get all this stuff! And why does my quad-corder say it’s all in different states of carbon decay?” Sci-Fi stood, quad-corder in hand, staring at a selection of artifacts that looked to have been stolen from a museum.

  Cassy looked sheepishly at her friend. “Sooooo, Time flies can actually travel through time, surprise! She took us on a huge adventure through history, stopping incursions that were also somehow getting sent through time holes. And I know I said I’d take you with me on my next trip, but this one happened by accident! I swear!”

  “See, there was this clown that looked like me on a really old wall in Africa, and I asked TF to take me there to see it, but for some reason she decided to take me back to where, and When; it was made. But we actually got there before it was made…” Cassy’s voice trailed off from her rapid fire stream of words.

  “Darn it! We never found the clown who’s face I accidentally stole! I knew we forgot something. They kept showing up in other parts of history too, which is part of why we kept jumping, I guess, well that, and the apparently time hopping fundraising opportunies... How did I forget to ask about the Clown! And Every time too!”

  Sci-Fi stared at Cassy, struggling to process the words that had tumbled out of her so fast they almost sounded like a single utterance. “For a smart clown, you can be very oblivious sometimes.” She giggled.

  “We can talk about you apparently time traveling later. Right now we need to clear this space. I think I’ve figured out how to make a working warp drive, but it’s too big for the ship. I could use a hand figuring out how to make it smaller.”

  “Sure thing!” Replied Cassy happily, her earlier conundrum forgotten.

  *****

  Somewhere in history.

  “What did that strange rag-covered childe call this again Gustav?”

  “I believe she referred to it as a “Sock Puppet” M’lord”

  “How curious. I should like a dozen! Perhaps a couple with hats. And we must figure out how to craft these “Googly Eyes” ; they are truly a marvel.”